工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S04E02
Part 4
June 29, 2021, 8:45 a.m.
噢 等等 哦哦
Oh... wait, no.
天啊 刚才简直是 哇
Oh, gah. That was, like, wow.
你呢 你也高♥潮♥了 对吧
Did you... you did too, right?
哦 哇
Oh, whoa.
刚才你抽走的太快有一点余震
A little aftershock when you just pull away so fast.
给 赶紧擦干净
Here, clean yourself off.
还有Anders 这件事没有发生
And Anders, this didn't happen.
什么事没发生 - 我们刚打的一炮
What didn't happen? - The sex we just had.
不 这个我知道 我们做了
No, I know, we just did it.
不 我们没有
No, we didn't.
没做什么
Didn't what?
我要去赶公交车了
I'm gonna go catch the bus.
Ders 好啊
Ders! Hey.
你个婊♥子♥样的叛徒 - 哥们 你下面有个什么东西
Hey, you bitch-ass traitor. - Dude, what's on your dick?
有个盒子
It's a box.
第一步 我在盒子上钻了个孔
Step one, I cut a hole in a box.
第二步 我用强力胶把我那里粘在盒子里
Step two, I superglued my dick in a box
因为我躺在Alice办公室里
'cause I was asleep in Alice's office
准备明早把我的鸡鸡献给她
ready to gift her my penis in the morning.
"你为什么不再加一根手指"
"How 'bout you put an extra finger
"因为你的那里太小了"
"In my **** because your penis is so small?
"我还要" - 不
I need more." - Nope.
你把我的美丽纯洁的花儿夺去
You took a beautiful, pure flower,
变成了恶心的妓♥女♥
and turned her into a disgusting, whore flower.
什么 - 是的
Excuse me? - Yeah.
你最好注意下你的用词
You better watch your tongue.
你也许在说我未来的妻子
You are probably talkin' about my future wife.
我知道怎么解决
I know how to settle this.
我们在池子里一战
We fight to the death in the pool.
泳池生死战
It's a pool-mite!
我十分乐意战到你死
I would love to fight to your death.
不 你死
No, it's gonna be your death.
哈哈哈 你死 兄弟
Ha, ha, ha, Your death, buddy.
吼 吼 吼 你死 兄弟
Ho, ho, ho, your death, buddy.
小心点 我可不想你现在就死
Be careful, I don't want you to die
一定是我来把你打死
before we fight to your death.
肯定是你死
It's gonna be your death.
这肯定会
This is gonna get
让我老板的地下室都"洪水泛滥"
my boss' basement flooded.
你确定她会喜欢我穿成这样吗
Are you sure she's gonna want me to look like this?
你不想我又情绪激动吧 是吧
You don't wanna get me all worked up again, do you?
只是个玩笑 我在开玩笑
That was a joke. I was joking.
你知道我为什么选你吗
You wanna know why I picked you?
因为你和我 我们有同样的问题
'Cause you and I, we got the same problem.
你那里也很大吗 - 不
You have a big one too? - No... no.
不不不不 最多你四分之一那么大
No, no, no, no, upwards of four times smaller.
就像乐高玩具里的小人那么大
It's like the size of a little lego man.
但你看 我的头发这样的
But you see, I'm walking hair.
人们都只能看到我的"拖把"
People see me for my mop.
但我不以此为耻 我觉得挺好的
And I embrace that. It's fine.
而你 你有个巨大的男性骄傲
And you, you have this crazy-huge dong.
你可以用它打两个结
You could tie it in a knot twice,
都还比我的长
and it would still be longer than what I've got.
那倒是 - 这就是你
Yeah. - That's you, man.
我想我总是相信
I guess I always believed
我的生活应该不仅仅是
that I was meant for something more
围绕着我的巨鸟
than just my big package.
可是你没有啊 而且这个态度也太傻了
You're not, and that's a stupid attitude.
你只不过是一个会走路会说话的鸡鸡而已
You're nothing but a walking, talking penis.
灯光打得不错 对吧
That's pretty good lightin', right?
是的 很不错
Yeah, that's pretty good.
不过那里有一点盲区
There's a little blind spot over there, though.
你知道吗 这样也许更好
You know what? It might actually be better
因为阴影会显得我们有腹肌啊
'cause the shadows will like play off our abs and stuff.
那倒是真的 是啊 来一点朦胧美
That's true. Yeah, a little shadow play.
那当然 - 很好 很好
Oh, yeah. - Very good, very good.
我把你打晕的时候肯定会显得很帅
I'll look pretty cut when I'm knockin' you out.
打晕我 你在搞笑吗
Knockin' me out? Are you kidding?
最好把口袋里的东西拿出来 兄弟
We better empty our pockets, man.
对对 你是对的
Good call. Very true.
我可不想弄坏我的手♥机♥
I don't wanna break my phone.
如果我猛击到我的钥匙 那酸爽
Dude, if I land on my keys, yowza.
非常聪明 非常智慧 - 噢兄弟
Very smart, very smart. - Oh, man.
我也喜欢这个手♥机♥壳 很酷很新
I like that case too. That's a cool new case.
这个手♥机♥壳很好玩 "保持冷静 吓你一跳"
The case, that's fun. Keep calm, bazinga.
保持冷静
吓你一跳
吓你一跳 - 哇噢
Bazinga! - Whoa!
膝盖挺灵活啊 - 谢谢
Good knee. - Thanks.
你刚刚用这一招对付我了
You did it to me earlier.
我就是这样得到的灵感来对付你
That's how I got the idea to do it to you!
啊 - 你死定了
Ow. - You are so dead.
你打够了没 - 打够了
You had enough? - Yeah.
你赢了
You got me.
你想尝尝我的厉害吗
You want some of this?
那我就给你点颜色瞧瞧
I'm gonna give you some.
来吧 朋友
Give it to me, pal.
嘿 什么情况
Hey! Hey!
这简直 这就是为什么我们需要专业人士啊 天
This is not... I said we needed a professional, man.
快点 我们要没有时间了
Come on. We are runnin' out of time.
够了 我要离开这了
That's it, I'm gettin' outta here.
你们都失去理智了 跟我走 Girth
You've lost your minds. Let's go, Girth.
赶紧出发 - 那是我的钥匙
Let's go. - My keys!
什么 啊 有什么事吗
What, ah... can I help you?
"想要爽翻天吗 美人儿"
"Wanna get railed to the max, trick?"
喂 这是什么情况 你变♥态♥啊
Okay, what the hell is this, you creep?
好吧 我就知道那不会奏效的 我很抱歉
All right, I knew that wasn't gonna work, I'm sorry.
把头盔戴上 你这个贱♥人♥
Put that helmet back on, you bitch!
Blake
Blake?
你在这又是干什么
What the hell are you doing here?
你认识他
You know this guy?
Alice
Alice.
我可以解释
I can explain.
恩 但是首先 我想要
Um, but first, I have to apologize
为Girthquake道歉
for Girthquake here.
你知道吗 我还是让你看看
You know what? Let me just show you
这些铺垫都是为了什么 好吗
what all the hype's about, okay?
赶紧的 把你那玩意从裤子里掏出来
Here, pull the tremor out your pants.
干嘛啊 不要
Whoa. No.
你必须要看看Girth的大鸟 好吗 - 我不想看
You know, you gotta see the Girth-worm, baby. - I don't want to see it.
可大了 在哪
It's big. Where is it?
是这边吗 - Blake 这什么啊
Is it on this side? - Blake, what is...
停下 不 不要
Stop! No, no.
对不起 - 不要这样做
Sorry. - Do not do that.
赶紧拿出来啊 老兄 快点
Pull it out, man! Come on!
赶紧亮出来 给她看看 看看
Show it right now. Show it, show it.
天啊 这真是骚货们的福音 - 别这样 你们
Oh, this is for bitches. - Come on, guys.
这到底是怎么回事 都给我停下
What the hell is happening? Stop.
我们只是想在办公室炸鱼
We just wanted an office fish fry
这样我就可以把我的鱼朋友们都吃到肚里
so that I could eat my fish friends,
但是你心情很不好
but you were in a bad mood.
所以我们就想帮你牵线搭桥 知道吗
So we tried to hook you up with a dude, you know?
然后这就是我们找的人
And like this is the guy.
我简直不能相信你们为炸鱼
I cannot believe you guys did this
能走到这一步
for a fish fry.
你们知道这有多愚蠢吗
Do you know how idiotic that is?
我知道我最近没什么性生活
I know I haven't been in a funk lately.
因为我这段日子过得不好
I'm just having a rough time, you know,
想要寻找真爱什么之类的
looking for love or whatever.
你那个来了 - 对 而且我又在月经期
Is it your period? - And... and I'm on my period.
噢 - 呕
Oh. - Ew.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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