工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S04E03

Part 4 June 29, 2021, 8:46 a.m.

干什么
What for?
我只是需要给某些东西吸吸尘
I just need to vacuum something.
什么东西
Uh, what something?
恩就是那个呃
Um, well, it's just that, uh...
我想给乳♥头♥刮刮毛
I wanted to shave my nipples.
但是毛又似乎有点多
But they're, like, kind of hairy,
所以我不想弄得到处都是
So I don't want to get hair everywhere.
给我点隐私哥们
A little privacy, buddy!
我显然正在手♥淫♥ 有点疼
I'm obviously masturbating right now. It hurts.
感觉像剃刀刀片从指尖出来了
Feels like razor blades are coming out the tip.
开玩笑呢我在拉臭臭呢
Just kidding. I'm pooping here!
噢哇我都吃什么了石头吗
Oh! Whoo! What did I eat, rocks?
Alice
Alice.
噢我有些挺恶心的消息
Oh, I've got some... pretty gross news.
我不小心往洗手间里投了颗原♥子♥弹♥
I, on accident, dropped an atom bomb in the bathroom,
厕所毁了是我的责任
and the toilet was destroyed, so that is on me.
但我认识个水管工能解决这事
And I know a plumber who's gonna take care of it.
顺便一说你今儿看起来真不错
And you look awesome today, by the way.
大伙儿都到外面去
Okay, everyone outside.
快点
Go!
Gil 给你买♥♥了一些皇冠可乐放冰箱里了
Gil, got some RC Ten in the fridge for you.
假警报假警报
False alarm. False alarm.
有人拉了火警警报
Someone pulled the fire alarm.
那几个小子哪去了
Where are the boys?
抓你们个现行兔崽子们
You're busted, busters!
什么
What?
哇我逮着你们了我彻底逮着你们了
Whoo! I got you. I got you so good.
太好了 - 好吧就是
Yes! - All right, just...
请别告诉Alice
Please don't tell Alice about this.
你抓着我们了真厉害 Jillian
You got us. Good one, Jillian.
不不不
No, no, no.
不这样太容易了
No, this is too easy.
你们可比这聪明
You guys are smarter than this.
你们希望我在这逮着你们
You wanted me to catch you here.
你说什么呢
Um, what are you talking about?
今天早些时候我注意到你们举止
Earlier today, I noticed you guys were acting
有些异常
a little strange.
而当Adam在休息室和我对峙的时候
And when adam confronted me in the break room...
去你♥妈♥的♥葡萄
yo' grapes!
我能感到你绝望的气息你对零食的渴求
I could tell you were getting desperate for snacks,
Ders大概就是在那个时候付诸行动的
which is probably when Ders put the plan into action.
离协定不远了
The deal's almost done.
JillIan的蠢脑袋永远想不出是怎么回事
Jillian's dumb ass is never gonna know what hit her.
我得告诉你 Blake 转移我注意力的工作
And I got to tell you, lame attempt
做得可不怎么样
at distracting me, Blake.
我可是见过更多毛的咪♥咪♥
I've seen way hairier nipples.
但你确实拿到吸尘器了
But you did get the vacuum.
这是第一个疏忽
That was the first slipup.
我的第二个错误是真以为Adam
My second mistake was thinking that Adam
能空腹弄出个重弹把厕所给堵了
had clogged the toilet with an empty-stomach dump.
嘿我拉臭臭呢
Hey, I'm pooping here!
才怪 - 要是才怪了
Not. - Not, indeed.
我猜你是把汗衫塞进
I'm guessing you shoved your undershirt
管子里把厕所堵住的
down the pipe to clog it.
但是Alice全都信以为真了不是吗
But Alice bought the whole chicken and poodle, didn't she?
但是我要雇个水管工来修厕所
But I'm gonna hire a plumber, get it fixed.
接下来你们的水管工朋友Karl就出场了
Which brings us to your plumber friend, Karl.
然后那个叫Karl的家伙一定进到通风口里了
Then that Karl guy must have gone into the vents,
在每个柜子后面开洞
cut holes behind every cabinet,
然后用Blake的吸尘器把零食都吸走了
sucked the snacks out using Blake's shop-vac,
再把袋子后面粘上
And then taped up the back of the bags
看起来就和没动过一样
So they looked untouched.
这就意味着这些
Which means that these...
这儿的这些薯条
These chips in here...
都是空的
Are all empty.
我唯一不明白的是
So the only thing I'm left wondering is,
你们特么打算怎么把这些零食
How the hell do you plan on sneaking the snacks
从这屋子里偷运出去
out of this building?
好吧伙计们我完活了所以我要先走一步了
All right, guys, I'm all done, so I'm gonna head out.
咱们聚会上见再见了
I'll see you at my party. Later.
嘿滚过来
Hey, get over here!
穿灰衣服的男的滚回来
Man in gray, get back here!
啊
Aah!
哦天啊哦哦
Oh, my God! Oh. Oh!
滚过来哦哇
Get over here! Oh! Ow!
我的随身听都跳歌♥了
You made my discman skip!
我们应该只偷这些零食对吗
So we should just steal these snacks, right?
是的恩 - 酷
Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Cool.
好的 - 很奏效
All right. - That worked out.
这就对了
Here you go.
她的主意可真不赖
That was an incredible plan that she had.
对啊比咱们的更像<十一罗汉><十三罗汉>
Yeah, way more Ocean's Eleven and Thirteen than ours.
耶 - 但是说实话伙计们
Yeah. - But quite frankly, guys,
我认为咱们拉火警
I think our idea of pulling the fire alarm,
砸锁头和掳走全部零食的主意
smashing the locks, and grabbing all the snacks...
计划得也不错 - 就要成功了
Not a bad plan. - It was gonna work.
爱死你们了伙计们
I love you, dudes,
好的咱有零食了
All right, we got snacks.
我要我的零食我要我的屎啊
I want my snacks. I want my... Crap!
怎么是屎
Crap?
要死了
Crap!
抓住你们了死小子们
Busted, busters!
拜托
Come on.
妈的 Jillian
Jillian...
我的有机能量棒呢
Where are my clif bars?
吸尘器厕所
The shop-vac, the toilet...
他们在每个柜子后面都开洞了
They cut holes behind every cabinet.
我就交付你一件事一件事而已
I asked you for one thing. One thing!
天哪你怎么搞得跟精神不正常似的
God, I swear, you are, like, mentally ill or something.
还我好市多卡
Give me my Costco card.
好吧
Okay.
你得看心理医生你特么活得一团糟
You need to see a shrink, 'cause you suck at life.
你特么才活得一团糟
You suck at life.
嘿滚一边去你是明星吗
Hey, get away. Are you a star?
我看不是
I didn't think so.
你宁愿要谁你宁愿要谁
Who would you rather have? Who would you rather have?
好吧她刚刚移开了你的手
Okay, well, she just moved your hand.
她刚才移开了你的手
She just moved your hand.
哦哦哦回放快看
Oh, oh, oh. Take it back. Check it out.
Ursula 嘿 - 搞什么鬼天啊
Ursula! Hey! - What the hell? God!
哦哇兄弟
Oh, whoa, man.
妈的你干什么呢把鼻子探到我老婆那里
What are you doing with your nose in my wife's ?
不不不不不不
No, no, no. No, no, no.
真是特么胡扯
That's bull.
不她爱我兄弟她爱我
No, she loves me, man. She loves me!
爱你 - 精彩的来了来了
Loves you? - Here we go, here we go.
爆♥炸♥性情节来了
Here comes the boom.
你个龟儿子 - 哦
You son of a ! - Oh!
我的天啊兄弟太棒了
My God, man. That was awesome.
耶但是我和那兄弟现在没事了
Yeah, but me and that dude are cool now.
他就像是我的一个超级好朋友一样
He's, like, one of my really good friends.
他在环球影城的水上世界节目工作
He works at the Waterworld show at Universal Studios.
他能让咱们免费入场
He can get us in for free.