工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S02E01

Part 1 June 28, 2021, 1:30 p.m.

哇哦那可真是老妈子屁♥股♥呢
Whoo! That is a mom butt right there--
又扁又平 - 哇哦
Long and low. - Whoa.
爸爸们喜欢
Daddy likes mom butts.
你们以前核对过自己的账单么
Have you guys ever looked at your checks before?
直接存款啊哥们 - 不我从来没核对过
Direct deposit, dude. - No. No, I haven't.
那就怪了
It's bizarro, man.
这上面写着我大概只能拿到一半的工资
It says I only get, like, half of my money here.
真的么
Seriously?
Fica是谁啊为什么我得给他55块啊
Who's Fica? Why am I paying him $55?
医保
"Meeda-- meeda-care"?
我都不知道那是干什么的
I don't even know what that is.
压根就没这种东西吧
That's not even a real thing.
好了伙计们那些是税款
All right, guys. They're taxes.
Ders 什么是税款 - 对啊
Ders, what are taxes? - Yeah.
啊社会是个大集体对吧
Uh, society-- it's a big pie, right?
我们得尽份力明白么 - 懂了
We got to help cook it? - Yeah.
好吧你们知道对阵竞猜表吧
Okay. You guys know brackets...
篮球比赛里的 - 哦我知道那个
Basketball, you know? - Yeah, no, I know those.
这就是填表学的进阶
So it's progressive bracketology.
你把我弄糊涂了伙计 - 是啊
You're losing me, bud. - Yeah.
税款它们为修公路
Taxes... They pay for roads,
救火灾建学校甚至为这个公园买♥♥单
like, fire trucks, schools, this park.
真的么
Really?
所以我纳的税建了这整个公园是吗
So my tax money paid for this whole park right here?
对是的 - 那太了不起了
Yes. Yeah. - That's awesome.
你的意思是这个公园里的所有都是花我们钱来的是吧
So you're saying that we paid for everything at this park?
是的 - 这沙子是我们买♥♥的么
Yeah. - We paid for the sand?
嗯哼
Mm-hmm.
那好那我得揣点回去
Well, fine, then I'm taking some.
那边的滑梯秋千长凳都是
So we paid for that slide and that swing set
我们花钱买♥♥的是吧
and that bench over there, right?
我是所有者 - 对这些都是你的
I'm an owner? - Yeah, you're owning.
那真是我喜欢这样纳税真爽
That's...I like that. Taxes are cool.
这么说来那个也是我们的
We definitely own that, then...
对吧
Right?
对是我们的
Oh, yeah, we do.
纳税万岁
Taxes rule!
我忘记薪水单了 - 掉头
I forgot my paycheck.- Turn around.
好了这个房♥子终于开始有个家样了
Well, I think we can officially say this house is now a home.
你们俩能想象走进一个酒吧然后找个美女说
Can you guys imagine going to a bar and telling a babe,
"你知道么我家里有条龙哦"
"Uh, yeah, you know, I got a dragon at my house"?
"你应该来看看和我的龙玩玩"
"You should come over, play with my dragon."
还有我的那同时也是我老二的外号♥
And my... and that's also another term for my dick.
哦你知道我们该做点什么吗
Oh, you know what we need to do?
给他起个名字 - 好主意
Name him. - Yeah.
对但是名字要起得硬朗点
Yes, but it's got to be something hard.
他看上去很牛 - 是啊非常牛
It is badass. - Yeah, very badass.
听听这个 "Cee Lo Green"
Hello, "Cee Lo Green."
哦我觉得不错
Ooh, I like that.
叫"伊凡·绿龙"怎么样
What about "Ivan drago-n,"
像那个凶恶的留着平头的家伙一样
like the guy who had the sinister flattop?
"Reptar"怎么样 <淘气小兵兵>里的
"Reptar," Right? From Rugrats.
挺霸气的哥们 - 是啊
That's badass, dude. - Yeah.
给他起这个名字把我搞的跟Tommy一样
That was such a Tommy move by me by naming him that.
真的太Tommy了 - 等下
It's so Tommy. - Wait.
我是不是该剃个平头
Should I get a flattop?
我觉得你们根本就没听我说话
I really feel like you guys aren't hearing me.
我想出了最完美的名字
I came up with the perfect name.
就叫"Cee Lo Green" 他有着
It's "Cee Lo Green." He has those...
霸王龙一样短促有力的臂膀还有他是个恶棍
Those short, T-Rex arms, and, I mean, he's a thug.
他是Goodie Mob的成员(说唱团队)
He was in Goodie Mob.
你觉得我不应该剃平头了
So that's a "No" On the flattop?
嘿草傻♥逼♥恐龙
Hey, (bleep)the dragons!
说什么呢 - 嘿嘿嘿
What? - Hey, hey, hey!
说话注意点这里是家庭居住区
Watch your mouth! This is a family neighborhood!
就是草你妈你个白♥痴♥
Yeah! (Bleep) you, dickhead!
你对Reptar有意见
Yeah, you got a problem with Reptar,
那就是对我有意见
you got a problem with me!
看见踩滑板的那逼了么
Did you see that poseur with the skateboard?
嘿踩滑板的你怎么不
Hey, skateboarder dude, why don't you, uh,
去看看你的身份别骗你自己了
find a real identity? 'Cause you're lying to yourself.
我是纳税人你是什么东西啊
I'm a taxpayer! What are you?
乐队里吹"管"的么你个白♥痴♥
A sax player in the band, you idiot?
拿下他们
Oh, get 'em.
大概吧萨克斯管是个不错的乐器
Yeah, probably. That's a cool instrument.
傻子 - 笨蛋
Nerd! - Nerd!
咱们继续喝啤酒吧
Let's, uh...Let's finish drinking some beers,
最爽的复仇是过得比敌人更舒服
because the sweetest revenge is living well.
这话是Darius Rucker说的你懂的那就是真理
Darius Rucker said it, so you know it's real.
我想念Darius Rucker - 你说的对
I miss Darius Rucker. - You're right.
咱歇会儿吧 - 爱死那首歌♥了
Let's cool our guns. - Love that song.
他是Bush乐队的对吧 - 不是
He was in Bush, right? - I think not.
你觉得咱把这些啤酒喝光
What do you say we finish these beers
然后去酒吧庆祝一下怎么样
and, uh, celebrate at the bar?
我觉得不错 - 好主意
I like it. - I like that idea.
伙计你的发胶归我了
Dibs on your hair gel, dude.
咱们的龙会搞定的
Our dragon is gonna seal the deal,
Cee Lo Green风格
Cee Lo Green style.
必须的但是他叫Reptar
Yeah, definitely. But his name's Reptar.
但他就叫Cee Lo Green
But it's actually Cee Lo Green.
哥们别逼我打你
Don't make me swing on you, bro.
就是 - 哦你要打我
Yeah. - Oh, you're gonna swing on me?
好了好了 - 我要挥拳
All right, all right. - I'll swing on...
行了你俩都是硬汉
Okay, everyone's a tough guy!
你俩都是硬汉 - 哥们小心我打你了啊
Everybody's a tough guy! - Swing on you, bro.
我就冲你脑袋打
How about I swing right over the top?
嚯哈
Kiya! Kiya!
哥们小心点
Watch it, bro.
我的上钩拳在库卡蒙加牧场市可是最厉害的
I got the meanest uppercut in freaking Cucamonga.
吐吧都吐出来吧伙计
Let it all out, little guy.
不错嘛吐挺远啊
Oh, nice! Good distance.
干得不错哥们为你骄傲啊
Good work, bud. Proud of you.
Ders Ders 醒醒醒醒
Ders! Ders, wake up! Wake up!
怎么了咱们现在去酒吧么
What's up? We going to the bar?
他们把咱们抢了 - 我的天呐什么
They're robbing us! - Oh, my God. What?
我的Cee Lo
No! Cee Lo!
我得拍下来 - 我去拿盘子
I got to get a photo. - I'm gonna get the plates.
这事没完 - 你干嘛呢
Coming for you! - What are you doing?
Ders - 等下你干嘛呢
Ders! - Wait. What are you doing?
Ders 抓住了 - 你干嘛呢
Ders, grab! - What are you doing?
救救我抓住了别撒手啊
Help! Grab me. Don't let go!
你干嘛呢 - 千万别撒手啊
What are you doing? - Don't let go!
我抓住了抓住你了抓住了
I got you. I got you. I got you.
你没事吧
You all right?
Reptar
Reptar!
我拍下来了 - 你替我拍的么
I got a picture. - Did you take it for me?
对嗯 - Reptar
Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Reptar!
我靠相机的镜头反了
Oh, damn it. The camera was the wrong way.
Reptar - 我的天
Reptar! - Oh, my gosh.
你看起来就像
You look just like that guy
那个在地下室猥亵自己孩子的奥地利人
who was raping his kids in the basement in Austria.
我懂我懂都是眉毛的原因
I know. I know. It's the eyebrows.
我们手头有什么线索
Okay, so what do we got?
三个嫌疑人我很确信有个人
Three suspects... One I'm almost pretty sure
穿的是校运动员外套
was wearing a letterman's jacket.
校运动员外套 - 嗯
A letterman's jacket. - Mm-hmm.
好不错车子呢
Okay, good. Car?
喝太多了没看清车 - 我当时还在吐呢
Too drunk to see cars. - I was still vomiting.
记忆犹新啊没准是个世界纪录呢
That was pretty impressive. That was a world record maybe.
是吧我说了让你计时来着
Yeah, well, I told you. Time it.