工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S04E09
Part 1
June 29, 2021, 8:47 a.m.
接下来 狮群里的小宝宝们将会
Here, the cubs from a local pride of lions...
我的天哪 - 怎么了
Oh, my God! - Dude, what?
我刚忽然想到明天就周三了
I just realized that tomorrow's Wednesday,
Karl会带大♥麻♥给我们
and Karl's gonna bring our brick o' bud.
噢 看他多兴奋 真可爱
Oh, and he's excited. That's cute.
对呢 真的很可爱 Adam
Oh, that's really cute, Adam.
你们知道么
Hey, guess what, guys.
我本来就招人喜欢好嘛
My cuteness has nothing to do with this.
不过还是谢谢你们夸我
Thanks for thinking I'm cute, though,
但是我的重点不是这个 我是想说
but it has nothing to do with this, 'cause what I'm saying is,
我们连这周的大♥麻♥都还没抽呢
we didn't even smoke this week's weed!
哇噢
Whoa.
我是有身为一个瘾君子的骄傲的
I pride myself on being a real pothead.
没有哪个礼拜 我们是没抽完一包大♥麻♥的
We've never gone a week without killing a brick,
所以今晚 我们解决这包吧
so let's smoke all of it tonight!
你想一个晚上抽那么多
You want to smoke all that tonight?
是的 - 等一下
Yeah, man. - No, dude.
他没说错
He's right.
我们应该抽出新花样 前无古人的那种
We should smoke like no pothead's ever smoked before.
怎样
How?
我们应该弄一个
We should have...
巨型烟枪
A bong fire.
太牛了 - 就这么办
Yeah! - All right.
这具体是啥意思
What does that mean exactly?
把所有的大♥麻♥全放进烟枪里吗
We're gonna burn all of our weed in a bonfire?
我觉得那样有点浪费啊
'Cause I think that might be wasteful.
不不
Mm...
太棒了 - 超酷
Oh, yeah. - That's cool.
准备好 - 好了
All right. - All right.
烧起来啊
Release the carb!
哇塞 - 爽
Oh-ho-ho! - Whoo!
太棒了
Oh!
值了
Worth doing it.
终于来了 - Karl 大♥麻♥呢
Finally! - Karl, where's the weed?
坏消息 她死了
Bad news, guys... she's dead.
什么 - 她死了
What? - She's dead.
谁死了 - 我的大♥麻♥事业死了
Who? - My life as a weed dealer.
最近新开了好多药店
All these pharmacies have been popping up,
到处抢我生意
raping and murdering me left and right.
该死的8号♥提案 - 是 我们的大♥麻♥呢
Freakin' prop 8. - Yeah. Where's the weed?
你们的大♥麻♥
The weed...
在我新开的大♥麻♥店里呢
Is at my new weed pharmacy!
你说啥
What?
我不再在街上偷偷卖♥♥了
I'm off the streets,
而且我的大♥麻♥店里还卖♥♥墨西哥卷饼
and I'm operating out of a burrito stand.
卷饼和大♥麻♥
Burritos and weed?
这简直是史上最酷的工作
That'd be, like, the most amazing job ever.
你这家伙真是太聪明了
And the human genius is back in the building.
等一下 那都是合法的吗
Wait a second. And it's all legal?
当然了 等我把那
Yeah, I mean, as soon as I figure out
八张表格都填好 就合法了
how to fill out these eight forms.
天哪 Louise
Jeez, Louise.
我一直想自己开店当老板
You know, I always wanted to own my own business,
只是一直没胆量尝试
just never had the nuts to take the risk.
我还找了我的医生朋友
I also took the liberty of having a doctor friend of mine
帮你们写了些大♥麻♥处方
write you guys weed prescriptions,
你们可以合法抽大♥麻♥了 - 酷
so now you're legal. - Cool!
是这样 Blake 你深受失眠困扰
So, Blake, you've got trouble sleeping, my man.
呵呵 - 嗯呐
Uh... - Wuh-oh.
我睡得很好 - 你从现在开始失眠
That's not true. - It is now.
接下来 Ders
And, Ders...
你有偏头痛 - 你说啥就是啥
You got migraines. - Hey, if you say so.
然后 Adam 你有艾滋
And, Adam, you've got aids.
我有艾滋
I got aids!
我的病最重 看我传染给你们
Deadliest one! I'm giving you aids!
传染起来 传染起来
Aid tickles. Aid tickles.
不过 我没真得艾滋 对吧
Oh, man. I don't have aids, though, right?
没
No.
合法的大♥麻♥一定会很爽的
Legal weed's gonna be pretty cool.
噢噢 爽翻了
Ho! Ooh, mama.
合法的就是好啊 哈
Legal weed is awesome. Mm.
你们三个是疯了吗
Have you three lost your minds?
看这个
Buh-bam!
哇
Whoa.
当班时抽大♥麻♥ 这是我们的权利
It's our legal right to smoke weed on the job,
因为我偏头痛
'cause, uh, I get migraines.
我 那个啥 我深受失
I have... what do I... I have trouble swee...
失"绵"困扰
I have trouble sweeping.
我有艾滋 听说过没
And I have aids. Heard of it?
好吧 就算你们有医生的许可
Okay, just because you have a doctor's permission
能合法抽大♥麻♥
to smoke marijuana
也不代表你们可以上班时抽
does not mean you can do it on the job.
快给我掐了
Put those out now!
这工作好无聊 蠢透了
This job is dumb. This is stupid.
在加州 很多工作场所都能抽大♥麻♥的
You can smoke at, like, a ton of other jobs in California.
不 你们不行 - 我们可以的
No, you can't. - Yeah, you can.
扫垃圾那哥们就抽大♥麻♥
Our garbage man smokes weed.
嗯呐 - 没错
Yep. - That's true.
在Karl干活的地方也能抽大♥麻♥
At Karl's job, you can smoke weed.
我们应该辞职 然后去Karl那工作
We should just quit this dumb job and work for Karl, man.
诶 这还真是好主意啊
Yeah, that's, like, a great idea.
我们可以整天吃卷饼 抽大♥麻♥
We could, like, eat burritos all day, smoke weed all day.
这是我最爱的两件事 再加上撸管
That's, like, my two favorite things... that and masturbating.
如果能在工作时撸
If I could do that at a job, we could also maybe get a job
我们应该也能在精♥子♥银行找个好工作
at a sperm bank.
可你确实在这里也撸啊
You do masturbate here.
我知道 我们都撸过
I know. We both do.
我就从来没有过
I've never jacked off here.
我的神呐 这是什么情况
Oh, my God, what is happening?
Alice 亲爱的 是这样
Alice, baby, here's the deal.
我们想说的是 如果你不让我们抽大♥麻♥
I guess what we're saying is you either let us smoke weed,
不让我们享有这项本属于我们的权利
which it's our right to do...
合法的噢 - 那我们就辞职
Legally. - Or it's bye-bye, Telamericorp.
我们不干了
We're out the door.
再见了 - 懂没
Good-bye. Bye-bye. - Okay?
你们在不在这工作 我根本不在乎
Work here or don't, 'cause it's no sweat off my balls.
好啊 好啊
Okay. Okay.
你以为我们不敢辞职吗
You don't think we'll quit?
说我们不敢 - 你们不敢
Say we won't. - You won't.
注意了 小婊砸们
Air raid, bitches!
我们有个爆♥炸♥性消息
We're about to drop a bomb on you!
没错 屌♥丝们
That's right, losers.
这天终于来了
The day's finally come.
我们不干了
We out this mutha.
如果你们想Alice把你们的脑子
So, if you want to have Alice fry your brains
做成芝士 就继续吧
into Velveeta cheese, go ahead,
而我们 可还怀揣美国梦呢
but we've got dreams of the American kind.
你们继续待在这 还不如加入塔♥利♥班♥呢
You guys stay here, you might as well join the Taliban.
后会无期 塔♥利♥班♥小贱♥人♥们
So see you around, Taliban bitches!
和平万岁
Peace.
如果Alice跟你说你不能在这抽大♥麻♥
If Alice tells you that you can't smoke in here,
她是在说谎
she's lying.
搞清自己的权利
Know your rights.
好兄弟 - 一群傻冒
Homey. - Idiots.
我的天哪
Holy hell, man.
你怎么负担得起的
What'd you pay for this?
哦 这地方早就被我占领了
Oh, no, man, squatters' rights...
我已经在这住了三个月了
I've been living here for three months,
所以法律上它归我了 - 这地方还挺繁华
so it's legally mine. - There's a lot of good traffic.
店面很显眼 还有被撞死的小动物
People will see it, and gnarly roadkill too.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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