工作狂（2011）
Workaholics S04E04
Part 2
June 29, 2021, 8:46 a.m.
听着 我是听说
See, I was told
这里有不安全的工作条件
that there were unsafe work conditions here.
有 - 有 对
There is. - There are, yeah.
有好多 呃 像休息室
There's a ton, like, um, the break room?
更像是滑倒休克室
Yeah, it's more like the slip-and-break-your-neck room.
你很可能会摔破头
You can really bust your nut in there.
好的 非常感谢你们浪费我的时间
Okay. So thank you so much for wasting my time.
什么 别别别别
What? No, no, no, no.
别走别走别走别走
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
嘿 抱歉
Hey. Ah, I'm sorry.
我可能表现得像个大变♥态♥一样
I probably came off as a real freakin' perv.
就像是你 - 对
It's like you... - Yeah.
让我完全手足无措了
M-make me all flustered.
我们想让你参加我们的募捐派对
We want you to come to our 'Vo fund-raiser
因为这对我们真的太重要了
because it means the world to us,
如果你花点时间和我们相处
and if you'd just spend some time with us,
就会发现 我们是酷酷的正常人
you'd realize that we're cool, normal dudes.
我们开玩笑啦 作恶作剧啦
We make funny jokes. We do funny pranks.
各种恶作剧 - 没错
Oh, so many funny pranks. - Yeah.
就是那种能上世界明星网站级别的恶作剧
Like, uh... Like world-star-worthy stuff.
像是 打碎火腿啊
Like, uh, we do smack hams.
对大家的食物做手脚啊
We mess with people's food.
还有欧洲诈骗 具体是指啥你去谷歌♥一下吧
We do European sharking, which... Google that.
恶作剧电♥话♥ - 没错
Phone calls. - Yes.
我们整天都在对老年人什么的做这些
We do those all day to, like, old people and stuff,
就更搞笑了
so it's funnier.
我们让他们买♥♥最烂的商品
We make 'em buy the stupidest ...
差不多和工作一样了 - 没错
Almost like it's our jobs. - Right.
等等 这就是我们的工作
Wait a minute. It is.
没错 我们是电♥话♥销♥售♥员
It is. We're telemarketers.
啊哦 - 就是这样
Doy! - Yes.
我们就专门拿老人下手 知道吗
What we do is we'll just target old people, you know?
我们看看名单 然后就想
We'll look at the list, and then we'll be like,
"这个像老年人的名字 一个孤独的名字
"That's an old name. That's a lonely name.
我们就打这个号♥码了" - 比如Edith
We're gonna call that name." - Edith?
我愿意搞一个叫Edith的
I will fuck an Edith.
搞定 对不起
Over! I'm sorry.
天啊 我 我大喘气了
Oh, gosh. I just... I-I, like, stopped the sentence.
很好 猜猜怎么样吧 我在下一个见面前
Okay. Well, you know what? I-I have an hour to kill
还有一个小时的时间
before my next meeting,
我很想看看你们的恶作剧电♥话♥
so I would love to see some of those prank phone calls.
太好了 - 太棒了
Cool. Awesome. - Cool.
好的 没问题 但是首先
Okay. Yes. Yes, but first,
你得看看我们最经典的几招
you got to see some of the classics.
好的 - 你会摸便便吗
Okay. - Will you touch poop?
噢
Oh.
办公室的日常 - 这就是我们的工作
Regular day in the office. - Where we work.
钱上有便便
Poop dollar!
是我的便便
That is my poop!
如果你愿意和我们一起抽烟 是我们的荣幸
It would be like, an honor if you'd, like, smoke with us.
啊 天啊 怎么这么烫
Aah! God, it's so hot!
我的嘴 我的喉咙
My mouth, my throat!
我们来表演快被杀死的时候吧
Who does the best, uh, face,
看看谁的表情最到位
like, right before you're about to get killed?
来 来
Go. Go!
祖母 是我啦 Ricky
Hey, grandma? It's me, Ricky.
对 我又在为学费卖♥♥杂♥志♥啦
Yeah, I'm selling magazines for school again,
所以我需要一点点钱
so I need a little bit of money.
Ethel 我是你亡夫的鬼魂
Ethel, this is the spirit of your dead husband.
你给我买♥♥些牛排 不然他们不放我出地狱
They won't release me from hell unless you buy some steaks.
好的 快一点
Yeah, now, uh, real quick...
我需要你信♥用♥卡♥的有效期
I'm gonna need the expiration date
和卡背面的三位数安全码
and the three-digit code on the back.
太棒了 Doris 你通过了老年痴呆症的测试
That is very good, Doris. You pass your Alzheimer's test.
非常感谢
Uh, thank you very much.
搞定她了
And I got her.
你们真是太搞笑了
You guys are too funny.
我们就是 不是吗 - 是的 再打几个
We are, aren't we? - Yeah. Do more.
开始了吗 - 恩 来吧
Is it on? - Yeah, man, here we go.
下周我们关注电♥话♥销♥售♥员
Next week we'll be looking at telemarketers
他们欺诈老年市民
who are conning our senior citizens
榨取他们的血汗钱
out of their hard-earned pennies.
祖母 是我啦 Ricky
Hey, grandma? It's me, Ricky.
我又在为学费卖♥♥杂♥志♥了
I'm selling magazines for school again,
所以我想我可不可以拿点钱呢
so I was wondering if I could have some money.
老年人太蠢了
Old people are so stupid.
太好了
Oh, cool.
我们应该开始揍老年人
We should start beating up old people too...
对吧
Right?
我真是讨厌死他们了
Just 'cause I hate 'em so much.
周一请继续收看
So tune in Monday
揭晓是哪个电♥话♥销♥售♥公♥司♥有欺诈行为
to find out which telemarketing firm I call B.S. On.
记住 你不能对扯淡姐干扯淡事
Remember, you can't B.S. Miss B.S.
Chuck 跟我们说说天气怎么样
Well, Chuck, what's going on with the weather?
办公室里没人看这个新闻节目 对吧
I mean, nobody at the office watches the news, right?
不会有人看的 我确定没事
Nah. I'm sure it's fine.
对 就是这样
Yeah, exactly, so...
好呀 好呀
Well, well, well...
这不是新闻编辑室的演员嘛
If it's not the cast of Newsroom,
只不过Jeff Daniels可没偷偷害我
except Jeff Daniels didn't try to me in my ass.
你们会让我们丢了工作的 我不能丢了饭碗
You're gonna cost us our jobs, and I can't lose my job!
这是唯一一个我能舒服的进行目光接触的地方了
This is the only place I feel comfortable making eye contact!
我生气了
I pissed now!
好的
Okay, yep.
哇哦
Whoa!
嘿 Alice让你们去她办公室
Hey, Alice wants to see you in her office.
你们现在就要付出代价
Y'all done done it now.
呕 你吃啥了
Ew, what did you eat?
天啊 让我过去
Jeez. Excuse me.
好啦 尊重下我们行吗
Okay, come on, a little respect.
还好我比你们中的大多数都强壮
Good thing I'm stronger than most of you.
就让我们进她办公室吧 她想见我们
Just let me into her office! She needs to see us!
是这样 Alice
Okay, Alice, uh...
你一直是个聪明的夫人
You being a smart lady,
我相信你看了新闻 知道情况了
I'm sure you watch the news, stay informed,
我只想告诉你 我们做的所有事
and I just want you to know that everything we did
都是为了慈善 出于好意 非常积极
was for charity, so it's a good cause, very positive.
而且我要起诉Waymond
Also, I would like to press charges against waymond
他刚才在我脸上吐口水
for spitting in my face just now.
太暴♥力♥了
It was very violent.
我不知道他吃了啥 但好臭的
I don't know what he ate, but it... it stunk.
可能他吃胡椒了
Maybe he ate peppercorn.
新闻播出后 我们部门就要关门了
After the story airs, they're closing the branch.
那么 我们现在就打电♥话♥给他们
What... what if we got on the phones right now,
给贸易资讯委员会的高层
you know, really took it to 'em and showed T.A.C. Brass
表现下<川流熙攘>的把戏 - 是啊是啊
A little hustle and flow? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我们还可以在外面办个小型音乐节
We could throw a little, like, uh, musical festival outside,
弄个小游泳池
get a baby pool.
就像八十年代的电影似的
Oh, man, it's like an '80s movie.
大家都拿起电♥话♥ 弄点蒙太奇效果
We're just gonna all get on the phones... A cool montage.
就像
It's like...
回家吧 或者别回了
Just go home, or don't.
都不重要了 一切都不重要了
It doesn't really matter. Nothing matters.
我们已经失业了 死亡标记已经打上了
We're already unemployed, marked for death.
好的 我就 - 好
Well, I'm gonna... - Yeah.
恩 - 去打些电♥话♥
Yeah. - Go on some calls.
我们走了 你忙你的啊
We're just gonna let you do your thing.
不过 <死亡标记>这片子
Marked For Death, though...
是Seagal的电影里比较好看的 记得去看哦
Great segal movie. Check it out.
刚才太吓人了
Okay, that was scary.
工作狂（2011）
Workaholics
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