工作狂（2011）

Workaholics S05E01

Part 1 June 29, 2021, 8:55 a.m.

噢嘿 - 嘿
Ooh, hey. - Hey.
好莱坞最盛大的夜晚哈
Hollywood's biggest night, huh?
嗯哼 - 你觉得最佳外语片是哪个
Mm-hmm. - What'd you put down for best foreign
伙计你懂我的
You know me, man.
就那个丹麦片
Just put down the Danish one
我喜欢北欧风格的
trying to keep it Scandinavian, so.
噢我希望今年的片子能比去年好
Oh, man, I hope tonight tops last year
去年的好像就是一群人
because I really feel that it was just a bunch of people, like,
在红地毯上 - 是啊
I dunno, sucking each other off, really. - Yeah.
互舔对方 - 差不多就是那样
On the red carpet. - It kinda was.
对就是一群混♥蛋♥的聚会是吧
Yeah, it was like one big circle jerk, right?
嗯 - 噢 Adam Adam
Yep. - Ooh, Adam, Adam,
开始了开始了
it's starting! It's starting!
有人饿了吗
Who's hungry?
啊看起来不错嘛
All right, that looks great.
咪♥咪♥耶
Tittay.
欢迎收看美国成♥人♥电♥影♥颁奖典礼我们将评出
Welcome to the AVN Award Show, where we honor the best
成人片各种最佳奖项 - 你们觉得
in adult entertainment. - Who do you guys got
谁会是三人行双插入肛♥交♥口♥交♥表演的最佳女主 - 额
for best MMF-DP-ATM? - Um...
我看看我标的是谁
Who did I mark?
Gianna - 我写的是Chloe
Gianna. - Yep, and I got Chloe.
Adam 难以置信你每个奖项都猜对了
Adam, I can't believe you got every category right.
伙计你连最佳鸡露片都猜对了
Dude, you even guessed best dong-umentary.
是啊 <为奴十二寸>是大热门嘛不过
Yes, well, 12 Inches A Slave was a no-brainer, but
说真的能记住看过的所有黄♥片♥
I'll admit it, having a pornographic memory
还挺不错我记得所有的鸡鸡长啥样
doesn't hurt. I cannot forget a dick.
那可真是怪了因为你别的事几乎过目就忘
Which is crazy, 'cause you can't remember anything else,
是吗 - 是啊我不记得
right? - Yeah, no, I can't remember
早上吃什么了也不记得
what I ate for breakfast. I can't remember, like,
我的社会保险号♥码有时候还挺麻烦的
my social security number, which is an issue sometimes,
不过我记得我昨晚对着镜子撸时
but I remember, like, every frame of the porno that
看的黄♥片♥的每一帧图像
I cranked down to in the mirror last night.
你刚说你对着镜子撸吗
Did you just say you crank down in the mirror?
怎么你们不对着镜子撸么
You guys don't crank down in the mirror?
好吧我教你们点技巧
Okay, I'll teach you something.
假如这里有面镜子
All right, so you are the mirror.
嗯啊 - 好的
Uh-huh. - Okay?
然后这里这个地方是屏幕
And this, right here, the screen, that's where
就是看黄♥片♥的地方我就在那放个黄♥片♥
all the porno's happening. So I put a little porno
同时我看着镜子里
back here and I look in the mirror,
就好像我在黄♥片♥里置身拍摄现场一样
and it's like I'm in the porno. It's like a pop porno.
这时我看着镜子里的自己
And then I'm looking at myself at the same time,
对自己说"你现在很爽这很爽"
and going like, "You're having fun, this is fun."
"看看你自己" - 好吧
"Look at you." - Sure.
好像很麻烦不过超酷的
Seems like a lot of work, but very cool.
才不麻烦 - 我通常就只是挤它
It's not. - I like to just squeeze it
直到射出来然后就算完了
till it pops. And move on, you know?
不一点都不麻烦 - 对我来说
It's not, it's not a lot. - It's a little overwhelming
有点太过了如果可以你不介意的话
for me, so, if we could, if you wouldn't mind...
当然 - 我想问你
Absolutely. - I'd like to ask you
关于你带来的这个大包
about the giant bag you brought to work.
你放了什么在里面 - 那是我演戏用的
What's up with that? - Hello, it's my costume bag
服装包 - 噢噢
from my theater days. - Uh-oh.
看成♥人♥电♥影♥颁奖典礼的时候
When we were watching The AVN Awards it kind of got
我的演戏欲望高涨喷射啊
the old actor juices a-flowin.
我也喷射了不同的液体
I had different juices flowing.
精♥液♥ - 我也是
Semen. - Me too.
你们还记得Sydney吗
Do you remember Sydney,
那个澳大利亚向导
the Australian tour guide?
我记得 - 日安呐老兄
I do. - Good day, mate.
噢嘿喂那是个迪吉里杜管吗
Oh, and crikey, is that a didgeridoo?
你们到底在搞什么鬼 - 啊
What the hell are you doing? - Huh?
Anders 我有个任务给你瘦竹竿小子
Anders, I got a mission for you, stretch.
额好的长官 - 我要派你
Uh, ma'am, yes, ma'am. - I'm sending you
去北兰乔大学生招聘会上
to the North Rancho college job fair to recruit
招一些新员工 - 哇好
some new employees. - Wow, okay.
你可以带上两个人帮你弄到
Grab a couple of people to help you get contact info
100个愿意来这工作的人员联♥系♥方式
on 100 people interested in working here.
没问题我马上就组队
You got it, I will assemble my team right now.
好的
Great.
我们要回大学喽我们要回大学喽
We going back to college, we going back to college.
是啊是啊
Yes, yes.
别这么激动伙计们
Not so fast, guys. Okay?
我的电美事业明显就靠这个了
My career here at T.A.C. Is clearly riding on this,
带上你们俩去大学校园
and you two? On a college campus?
不可能
Not happening.
注意了电美人们
Attention, Telamericans,
明天早上9点我们要出发去
tomorrow morning at 0900 hours, we will deploy onto the campus
北兰桥大学的校园招聘会
of north rancho college,
努力拿到100个新人的联♥系♥方式
trying to get 100 sigs of some fresh meat,
谁要加入
who's with me?
Bill Tez
Bill, Tez?
你们想来一次精彩的冒险吗
You boys up for an excellent adventure?
然后错过我自己的事我又不是傻子
And miss out on my commissions? Foo' please.
这周末我打算在水烟吧里爽一番呢
I'm trying to ball out at this hookah bar this weekend.
Ders 拜托 - 带上我们吧
Ders... Come on. - Please take us.
停下 - 我不会停下的
Stop. - I'm not going to stop.
阻止他快阻止他
Stop him. Please stop him.
我不会停的除非你答应带上我们
I'm not going to stop until you take us.
可是你们你们肯定就最多
I know you guys, all right? You're gonna, like,
露个脸然后我得接下所有的活
basically show up and then I'm going to do all the work
然后你们跑走就剩我一个人
and you're going to run off, and I'm going to be alone
做所有的工作 - 我发誓
doing all the work. - Honestly, I swear
以我妈妈和Blake所有家人的名义起誓
on my mother. And Blake's entire family
我们绝不会丢下你一个的
that we will not bail on you.
好吧
Fine!
耶 - 耶好啊
Yes. - Yes, all right.
好的伙计们来看看这个
All right. Hey, guys, check this out.
哇不错 - 很酷是不
Whoa, nice. - Cool, right?
哇非常酷 - 我想我们可以把
Whoa, very cool. - Yeah, I figured we could do
这个招聘工作弄成这样的感觉
a whole thing where it's, like, "Come and join
"快来参加电美军团"
the Telamerican army."
你的未来在召唤你
我们连接大众
我还拿了个小卡拉ok机我们可以
And got a little karaoke machine so we could
唱点歌♥ 比如
sing some songs. I'm thinking
"荣誉的电美人"或者"美丽的电美人"
"Proud to be a Telamerican" Or "Telamerica the beautiful."
噢我想到了一个我想到了一个 - 是嘛
Ooh, I got one, I got one. - Yeah?
耶耶耶这就开唱
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go.
唱吧
Start it off.
两者都不要
Neither!
不错我来唱第二段
That's good, here I'll do the second verse.
玩蛋去吧愚蠢之极不能更蠢
Fug this shib. Very stupid, very dumb idea.
我们才不会做这个傻♥逼♥的签名工作
We're not going to do your stupid sign-up job,
因为你说过我们会甩掉你的
because you said that we'd blow you off.
是啊 - 嗯哼
That's right. - Mm-hmm.
没错这就是你们现在在做的事
Right. And that's what you're doing right now.
是的 - 是我们就是要甩掉你
We are. - Yes, we are doing that,
但那只是因为 - 没错
but only because-- - exactly.
是你起头的 - 但是你们
You started it. - But you're--
不是你起头的你是个混♥蛋♥
no, but you started it. You were a jerk,
你不想带我们来你说我们不会
and you blew us off, and you said we weren't
帮上你的忙所以现在我们就要甩掉你了
going to help you, so now we're not going to.
我们本来是可以做的很好的
And we would've done really well, too.
我们本来会拼命干活的
We would've, like, worked our balls off.
这就是我不想带你们来的原因
This is exactly why I didn't want to bring you guys.
走吧伙计我们去院子扔回旋镖玩吧
Come on, dude, let's go throw the boomerang in the quad.
好的嘿 Blake
Mm-kay. Hey, Blake?
嗯 - 快告诉我这会儿
Mm-hmm? - Real quick, what's, like,
我能说什么酷酷的澳大利亚退场语
a cool Australian exit line that I could say?
噢额
Oh, um...