I-I have not had sex in two years, and...
而且上一次还是跟柴油机械师 可不是议员
And that was with a diesel mechanic, not a congressman.
跟我们说说诚意模特公♥司♥
Tell us about Genuine Models.
这个问题真有意思
You know, it's funny you should ask.
他们打电♥话♥问我能不能去坎昆拍比基尼写♥真♥
They called to see if I could do a bikini shoot in Cancun,
我本来想去的
and I was gonna go,
但我得在医院倒尿盆
but I had some bedpans I needed to empty.
随你怎么说
Alright, listen, make light of it all you want,
你说你不在场 但现场有你的头发
but you say you weren't there, but your hair was.
你怎么解释
How do you explain that?
我没法解释
I can't.
天啊 等等
Oh, my God, wait.
我的头发
My hair!
大概一年前
Alright, about a year ago,
我交不上房♥租
I was getting behind on my rent,
我朋友邦妮告诉我
and my friend Bonnie told me about
假发公♥司♥会出钱收♥购♥头发
this wig company that pays for hair.
所以我剪掉了马尾辫 用邮件寄过去了
So I chopped off my ponytail, popped it in the mail,
几天之后 我收到了一张支票
and a few days later, a check came.
有500美元
It was for 500 bucks.
你把头发寄到哪里了
The address you sent your hair to,
我们需要知道
we're going to need it.
他有很多计划
He had so many plans, you know?
想去旅游 学习驾驶飞机
Wanted to travel, learn how to fly.
他总是精力充沛
He was so full of energy.
天哪 巴尼有许多美德
Oh, my gosh, Barney was full of so many things.
比如 慷慨
Generosity, for instance.
他给你的那条项链 真是件惊艳的礼物
That necklace he gave you, what a breathtaking gift.
如果我说想再看一眼项链
Hey, I wonder if it would be too much of an imposition
会不会太无理了
to see it one more time.
但观赏如此精致的作品实在难能可贵
Beholding a piece that exquisite is a rare treat.
一点也不无理
It is no imposition at all,
但我不希望你错过航♥班♥
but I don't want you to miss your plane.
我不担心自己的航♥班♥
Oh, I'm not worried about my plane.
我该走了
Well, I should be off.
胡说 玛蒂尔达正要给我们展示
Nonsense, Matilda's just about to show us
巴尼送她的那条华美的项链呢
that magnificent necklace Barney gave her.
-是吗 -我马上回来
- Is she? - I'll be right back.
行 五五分
Fine, 50/50.
七三开 否则我就告诉亲爱的玛蒂尔达
70/30, or I tell dear Matilda
她宝贵的链子在你的包里
that her precious pendant is in your handbag.
你想交往的这位女性
Does this other woman you want to be involved with
知道你有多卑鄙吗
know what a scoundrel you are?
她知道
She does.
毫无疑问 你试图说服她你能改过自新
No doubt you're trying to convince her you can reform?
可怜的女人
Poor woman.
六♥四♥开
60/40.
55对45
55/45.
我没法改过自新到那种程度
I can't reform that much.
我的项链 不见了
My necklace, it's-- it's gone!
行
Fine.
肯定在家里的 玛蒂尔达
I'm sure it's here somewhere, Matilda.
我们帮你找
We'll help you look.
你去卧室和浴室找
You start in the bedrooms and the bathrooms
我们在这找
and we'll search out here.
我们会把这翻个底朝天
No stone left unturned.
好
Okay.
我需要接个电♥话♥
I need to take this.
安置好格兰特女士后 我就回来
Alright, I'll circle back around once I get Ms. Grant safely situated.
帕克探员 情况如何
Agent Park, where are we?
沃兹尼亚克与案件无关
Wozniak wasn't involved.
我们找到的头发 是她卖♥♥掉的
The hair that was found, she'd sold it.
我们拿到了她寄去头发的地址
We got the address where the hair was sent.
我和邓比现在过去
Dembe and I are headed there now.
很好 还有吗
Excellent. Anything else?
刚刚又有人给史密斯古董店汇款了
A wire to Smith Antiques was just flagged.
一个叫比利·伯顿也转了二十五万美元
Another $250,000 from a Billy Burton,
比利·伯顿
他是费城著名的餐饮店老板
a well-known restaurateur in Philadelphia.
我们知道接下来会发生什么
We know where this leads.
阿兰姆 帕克 立刻过去
Aram, Park, get there now.
哈罗德·库珀
Well, well, Harold Cooper.
-希伯警探 -贝弗莉·格兰特
- Detective Heber. - Beverly Grant.
我找不到她了 是吗
I'm not gonna find her, am I?
我推荐墨西哥玉米脆饼 很美味
I'd recommend the nachos. Delicious.
道格·科斯特死了
Doug Koster dies,
他死那晚给你上酒的酒保
and the bartender who served you drinks on the night of his murder,
也死了
he also dies.
酒保的朋友 唯一可能知道他死亡原因的人
And his friend, the only one who may know why he died,
你比我先找到她
you get to her before I do.
另外 迪斯科薯条
On the other hand, the disco fries,
好吃到难以抗拒
pretty irresistible.
两起谋杀
Two counts of murder.
再加上骚扰证人
Now witness tampering.
我觉得你只是看上去像首要嫌疑犯
I thought you looked like the prime suspect.
但没想到你会蠢到做出让自己有嫌疑的行为
I never thought you'd be stupid enough to act like one.
伯顿先生 联调局
Mr. Burton, FBI!
伯顿先生
Mr. Burton?
伯顿先生 我们是联调局的
Mr. Burton, it's the FBI.
不 等等
No, wait!
不要
No!
立刻举起双手
Hands up, now!
帕克探员
Uh, Agent Park?
你控制住她了
You got her?
不 但...
Uh, no, but, um...
她不是人
I got it.
我们经历过那么多次荒唐的抢劫
Of all the ridiculous capers we've gotten into,
这几乎可称得上最荒唐的一次了
this is approaching the most ridiculous.
假装找一条我们偷走的项链
Pretending to look for a necklace we're stealing?
如果项链是我们的 那怎么叫偷呢
We can't be stealing if it belongs to us.
我们能做的 就是帮助悲痛的寡妇
What we can do is help a grieving widow feel
让她觉得她在这世上不是孤独无助的
as if she's not completely alone in the world.
等我们假装寻找亲爱巴尼的礼物后 做什么呢
And after we finish pretending to find dear Barney's gift, then what?
假装
Pretending?
她在那多久了
How long has she been there?
够久了
Long enough.
听着 我是老了 但我不傻
Look, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.
我记得我把项链放进保险箱里了
I know that I put that necklace in the safe,
然后你们两位出现了 说着甜言蜜语
and then you two show up, and you're just sweet as can be.
立刻把项链还给我 否则 我报♥警♥了
I want it back now, or... or I'll call the police.
你不会想这么做的
You don't want to do that.
为什么
Why not?
因为 我们将不得不告诉警♥察♥
Because then we'd have to tell the police the truth
关于你挚爱的巴尼的事实
about your beloved Barney.
什么事实
What truth?
有什么需要帮忙的
May I help you?
联调局的雷斯勒和祖玛探员
Agents Ressler and Zuma, FBI.
你们怎么才来
What took you so long?
你在等我们
You were expecting us?
对 我几小时前给当局打了电♥话♥
Yes, I called the authorities hours ago.
你们不正是因此才来的吗
Isn't that why you're here?
我们在找一家假发制♥造♥商
We were looking for a wig manufacturer.
我们不生产假发 但我们确实在我们制♥造♥的
Well, we don't make wigs, but we do use human hair
机器人伴侣身上使用人类头发
on the robot companions we create here.
伴侣 你是说会杀死使用者的
Companions? Oh, you mean sex robots
那些性♥爱♥机器人
who kill the people who use them.
你说的一定是克丽茜
You must mean Chrissy.
谁是克丽茜
Who the hell is Chrissy?
克丽茜是诚意公♥司♥最受欢迎的型号♥
Chrissy is one of Genuine's most popular models.
你知道你们的机器人杀了客户
So you knew your robots were killing your customers.
所以才打电♥话♥报♥警♥
That's why you called the police.
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