开心汉堡店
Bob's Burgers S05E14
Part 1
March 9, 2020, 4:44 p.m.
《开心汉堡店》第五季第十四集
[用我们的喷雾剂]温柔的杀死跳蚤
除虫害公♥司♥
得读书 得读书 得读书 得读书
Got to read, got to read, got to read,
得读书 得读书 得读书
got to read, got to read, got to read,
得读书 得读书
got to read, got to read.
我想的完全是相反的东西
I feel the exact opposite way.
你为什么一直重复说这个
Why are you saying that?
读书报告 我在胳膊上写了截止日期
Book report. I wrote the due date on my arm
以防忘记 但那之后
so I would remember, then every day since then,
我每天都愉快地洗了澡 傻死算
I've taken a shower like an idiot.
-截止日期是何时 -明天
- When's it due? - Tomorrow.
你读到哪页了
What page are you on?
封面
The cover.
杰克·伦敦小说 讲述一只狗从文明的人类社会
回到狼群原始生活的过程
《野性的呼唤》
Call of the Wild?
讲的是疯狂的电♥话♥销♥售♥员吗
Is it about an insane telemarketer?
或者是洗手间的吉恩
Or Gene in the bathroom?
我还不知道
I don't know yet.
孩子们
Hey, kids.
鲍勃 之前你灭油火的时候
Oh, Bob, this package came for you earlier
来了个你的包裹
when you were putting out that grease fire.
这就是我讨厌学校的原因
See, that's why I hate school.
我们错过了所有的油火火灾现场
We miss all the grease fires.
我没买♥♥东西啊
I wasn't expecting anything.
对了
Oh, yeah.
我想起我订过这个了
I-I remember ordering this.
那是什么东西
What the hell is that?
我买♥♥了个遥控版的
I bought a remote control version
《真实的谎言》里的直升飞机
of the helicopter from the movie True Lies,
还配有紧握不放的阿诺德·施瓦辛格和
complete with a clutching Arnold Schwarzenegger
悬在空中的杰米·李·柯蒂斯
and dangling Jamie Lee Curtis.
多漂亮啊
What a beaut.
-你是喝醉后买♥♥的吗 -不是
- Were you drunk shopping? - No.
我称之为 "夜晚喝着小酒的购物时光"
I call it "Nighttime shopping, with wine."
我对一个拍品出了价 对 直升飞机
I bid on an auction and, yeah, helicopter.
飞啊 你个混♥蛋♥ 飞啊
Fly, you bastard, fly!
坚持住 杰米·李 我来救你了
Hold on, Jamie Lee, I gotcha.
《真实的谎言》中反派的扮演者
我要把你从蒂亚·卡雷尔手中救出来
I'll save you from Tia Carrera,
应该是她吧 我忘记情节了
I think. I forget the scene.
老妈何时能玩会啊
Hey, when does Mama get a turn?
我也想救杰米·李
I want to save Jamie Lee.
琳 我刚开始
Lin, I just started.
而且我觉得自己非常擅长玩这个
And I think I'm really good at this.
搞不好可以变成我新的专长
This could be, like, my new thing.
老爸 可不要太酷哦
Dad, you don't want to be, like, too cool.
你好呀 鞋子
Hello, boots.
还每天都这样挂着呢
Hanging like you do every day.
-给我嘛 -天哪 琳
- Give it. - Geez, Lin.
好吧 我让它着陆
All right, let me just bring it in for a landing.
你模仿不了它的 伙计
You can't pull off that look, buddy.
它跟你不一样
It's not you.
缓缓地 缓缓地
Gentle, gentle, and...
亲吻大地吧
kiss the ground.
搞什么飞机
What the hell?
这是什么情况 我让它很完美的着陆了啊
How did that happen? I landed it perfectly.
蒂 蒂
T-T-Ti...
飞得还不错 虽然就这么一次
Well, it had a good run. Of one.
这玩意就是坨垃圾
That thing is a piece of crap.
我得把钱要回来
I'm getting my money back.
蒂 蒂娜
T-Ti-Tina...
也许它还是好的呢 看
Well, maybe it's okay. See?
不行 坏掉了
Oh, no, it's dead.
-松 松 松鼠 -我在读书
- Squi-Squi-Squirrel. - I'm reading
-我在读书 -蒂娜 蒂娜 蒂娜
- I'm reading - Oh, Tina. Tina! Tina!
多谢 老爸
Thanks, Dad.
我讨厌被鞋砸到脑袋
I hate getting hit on the head by boots.
不客气 蒂娜
You're welcome, Tina.
我们要把它们扔回去吗
Should we throw them back up?
我感觉挺抱歉的
I kind of feel bad.
它们在那里呆了很久了
They've been there for so long.
当心 蒂娜
Look out, Tina!
我刚才 僵住了
I just... froze.
"很有技巧地着陆后"
"And following a skillful landing,
"它却被摔得四分五裂"
"It broke into a million pieces.
"我要求45美金的全额退款外加运费"
Please issue me a full refund of $45 plus shipping."
-发送 -那玩意值45美金
- And send. - That thing was 45 bucks?
外加运费就是
Plus shipping. Which was...
-还是45美金 -那么贵
- also 45 bucks. - The hell?
我是怎么回事
What's wrong with me?
我刚刚目睹了发生的一切
I just watched everything happen!
松鼠 鞋子
The squirrel, the boots!
却什么都没做
And I did nothing!
大家都安静点吧 这样蒂娜才能读书
Hey, let's all be quiet so Tina can read.
-谁在说话 -面对现实吧
- Who said that? - Face it.
我不像电影中的施瓦辛格那般英勇
I'm not heroic like Arnold Schwarzenegger in True Lies!
在《真实的谎言》中扮演施瓦辛格的助手
《罗珊妮》为其参与编剧并客串的情景喜剧
我连《真实的谎言》里
I'm not even Tom Arnold in True Lies!
甚至是《罗珊妮》里的汤姆·阿诺德都比不上
Or even in Roseanne!
好了 吉恩 别为此苦恼
Come on, Gene. Don't worry about it.
那只不过是做父亲的本能
That was just part of being a dad.
你早晚有一天也会有这些直觉的
You'll have those instincts someday.
但要是我永远都没有呢
But what if I never get those instincts?
也许我将来只会成为一个英俊的懦夫
Maybe I'll just grow up to be a very handsome coward!
老爸 你救了蒂娜
Dad, you saved Tina!
你是勇敢的行动派
You're a heroic man of action.
我可以向你学习
I can learn from you.
吉恩 你太夸张了
Gene, I-I think you're blowing this out of proportion.
尽管我在压力下的确是
Though I did react with a certain amount of grace
-比较冷静 -搞什么
- under pressure. - What the hell?!
"抱歉 我们不为失败的着陆退款"
"Sorry, I don't give refunds for crash landings"?!
"坠行员" 好吧 情况有变
"Heliflopter"?! All right, new plan.
网站上有他的电♥话♥号♥码
His number's on the Web site.
我要给这人打电♥话♥
I'm calling this guy.
他要行动了
He's doing it!
他是行动派男人
He's man-of-actioning.
我称之为"行男"
Which I call "Mactioning."
你好 是谢尔顿·菲尔兹吗 我是鲍勃
Hello? Is this Sheldon Felds? This is Bob.
就是这样 老爸 教训他一顿
That's it, Dad. Give it to him.
不 不是着陆失败的鲍勃
No, not Bob the crash-lander.
我让它缓缓地着陆的 谢尔顿
It kissed the ground, Sheldon.
缓缓地
Kissed it.
还不如我去爱玩洞商店买♥♥呢
Maybe I should've just bought it from The Hobby Hole.
人家那是真正的商店
A real store.
爱玩洞
Hobby Hole!
要不我登门拜访
Well, how about I just come on down
当面要求你退我钱如何
and demand my money back?
是的 包裹上有你的地址
Yeah, your address is right on the package.
那么一会儿见 谢尔顿
So see you soon, Sheldon!
还有 你的字
Oh, and, also, your handwriting is...
-可真不怎么样 -够酷 老爸
- not very good! - Nice one, Dad.
鲍勃 要不这件事就这么算了吧
Bob, don't you think maybe you should just let this go?
你也知道你自己那脾气
You know how you get.
你会开始不停唠叨什么原则问题
You start saying "It's the principle" over and over.
这是原则问题 琳
It's the principle of it, Lin,
-原则问题 -没错 就是这样
- the principle. - Yep, there it is.
等等 你怎么知道我要这么说
Wait, how did you know I was gonna say that?
-我从来没这么说过 -是是是
- I've never said that. - Right. Yeah. Right.
两件只要三美元
这是原则问题 先生
It's the principle of the thing, sir.
这是原则问题
It's the principle!
原则 问题
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