开心汉堡店
Bob's Burgers S05E11
Part 1
March 9, 2020, 4:43 p.m.
《开心汉堡店》第五季第十一集
窈窕除虫女
除虫害公♥司♥
数学测验又得了个D
Another D on a math test.
如果下次考试我不能得B
And if I don't get at least a B on the next one,
就得参加数学补习了
I've got to go to remedial math.
数学补习
Remedial math, huh?
补习第一天
On your first day in there,
记得去偷最年长孩子的铅笔
steal the biggest kid's pencil.
是的 削尖了再还回去
Yeah, and then sharpen it and give it back.
让我怎么和我未来的孙孩儿们交代
What'll I tell my grandchildren?
我以前数学很差
I used to be bad at math.
可怜的外祖母
Oh, Grandma.
我不会参加数学补习的
I'm not going to remedial math,
因为我要找一个家教
because I'm going to get a tutor
让他教我现在的老师没能教我的知识
who will teach me what my teacher could not.
不明白你为啥冲我们嚷嚷
I don't know why we're getting yelled at.
你猜这周末是什么节日 鲍鲍
You know what's this weekend, Bobby?
-是情人节哎 -糟糕
- Valentine's Day. - Oh, crap.
我不是说这个节日很糟糕 琳
I-I mean, I-I don't mean crap, Lin.
我知道你喜欢情人节
I-I know you love Valentine's Day,
我只是觉得我从来就没做对过
I just feel like I never get it quite right.
-是的 你不行 -的确 你逊毙了
- No, you do not. - No, you're horrible at it.
不过还有那么几次
Well, I mean, a couple times,
我送了你很好的礼物
I got you something nice.
-还记得我送你的换机油吗 -记得
- Remember I got the oil change? - Right.
-给车使的 -记得 是的
- For the car? - Right, yeah.
-特意送你的 -是啊 真"贴心"
- That was for you. - You did that, that was nice.
-是的 -今年
- Yeah. - This year,
你不必再担心啦
you don't have to worry,
因为我都准备好了
'cause I got it all figured out.
你看
Ta-da!
这是什么
What is it?
为庆祝耶稣降生的一种倒数计时月历
从12月1日起 每天在对应日期打开一扇门 之后往往有惊喜
情人节版耶稣降临日历
It's a Valentine's Advent calendar.
今年我们要过情人周
This year we're doing Valentine's Days.
情人周
Valentine's Days?
不必再为要把
Say good-bye to the pressure
所有的浪漫压缩到一天而压力山大啦
of being super-romantic on one day,
今年我们要在情人节前
and say hello to being somewhat-romantic
把浪漫匀给很多天
for a bunch of days leading up to the big V.
-太好了 -每扇小门背后
- Yeah! - Behind each little door is a romantic activity
都有我策划的浪漫惊喜
that I've already thought of.
-你都计划好了 -没错
- Oh, you planned stuff. - That's right!
好吧 这样更好
All right, uh, that sounds better.
是吧 打开第一个节日吧 鲍鲍
Right? Open up day one, Bobby.
来吧 我来开
Come on, l-let me open it.
-不 泰迪 起开 -来嘛 让我开
- No. Teddy, get off it! - Come on, let me open it.
-泰迪 给... -让我开嘛
- Teddy, Teddy, give it... - Just let me open it,
-你可以开其它日子的 -泰迪 放手
- You can open up the other days. - Teddy, let it go.
好吧
Okay, uh...
"性感厨房♥"
"Sexy cooking."
性感厨房♥ 我就知道
Sexy cooking... I knew it.
是的
Yeah.
我不太明白这具体是什么意思
I don't exactly know what that means,
但如果这意味着我不会毁了情人节
but if it means I'm not gonna screw up Valentine's Day,
那我加入
then I am in.
我喜欢 我们都加入
I love it. We're in.
罗莎
Rosa.
罗莎 罗莎
Rosa, Rosa.
-达瑞尔 -怎么了
- Darryl! - What?
我需要你的帮助
I need your help...
你能帮我补数学吗
Could you tutor me at math?
不接新客户
Not taking on new clients.
我给人补习之后和玩电子游戏之前的时间
All my post-tutoring, pre-video-game free time
都要交给机器人
is going to robotics.
我正在帮我爷爷设计一个机器人陪护
I'm building a companion robot for my grandpa.
能给他吃药并播放爵士乐
It gives him pills and plays jazz.
但如果我得不到帮助
But if I don't get help,
我就得参加数学补习了
I've got to go to remedial math.
真可怜 祝好运
That's tough. Good luck.
等等 周六教我怎么样
Wait, what about tutoring me on Saturday?
我不打算去情人节舞会 也许...
I'm not going to the Valentine's Day dance, so maybe...
你觉得我是个呆子 所以我也不会去吗
And you assume because I'm a nerd, I'm not going, either?
什么 抱歉 我以为你不去
What? Oh, I'm sorry, I assumed you weren't going
完全是因为别的原因
for a totally different reason.
是的 我不去
Yeah, I'm not going.
对啊 呆子情侣
That's it... double nerd.
跟我来 我们私下谈谈
Come with me, we got to talk in private.
如果你当我情人节舞伴
I'll tutor you if you'll be my date
我就给你当家教
to the Valentine's dance.
达瑞尔 我真是受宠若惊
Oh, Darryl, I'm flattered,
但我的心几乎都给了小吉米
but I'm semi-involved with someone... Jimmy Jr.
他现在还没有那么喜欢我
He's semi-not-involved with me right now,
但我们会在一起的
but we're working through it.
不 我不是真的想和你跳舞
No, I don't really want to go to the dance with you.
我想和罗莎·巴蒂斯塔一起去
I want to go with Rosa Batista.
那你为什么不邀请罗莎
Then why don't you ask Rosa?
我不能 我配不上她[不是我阵营的]
I can't... she's out of my league.
我读初一 她上初二
I'm in seventh grade, she's in eighth.
她肯定还把我当那个
I think she still sees me as the little boy
在滑梯尿尿的二年级小孩
that peed down the slide in second grade.
那是你啊
Oh, that was you?
不是尿在秋千上么
I heard it was off a swing.
可能是撒了两滴到秋千上
Some of it may have gotten on the swing.
听我说 还记得去年舞会
But listen, do you remember who won Cupid's Couple
谁赢了初一初二级的丘比特情侣吗
at last year's seventh-eighth grade Valentine's dance?
迈克尔·卡利什和特蕾西·施瓦兹 对吗
Michael Carlish and Tracy Schwartz, right?
他们分手后
And after they broke up,
初一的迈克尔·卡利什开始约初二的
seventh-grade Michael Carlish started dating eighth-grade...
珍妮·特斯塔
Jenny Testa.
只要成为丘比特情侣 分手后
Whoever wins Cupid's Couple can date anyone
就可以约任何想约的人
they want when they break up.
如果我们假装约会 我们就能赢
If we fake-date, we could win.
然后我们假装分手
And then if we fake break-up,
我就可以约罗莎了
I could date Rosa,
你可以去约小吉米了
and you could date Jimmy Jr.
但大家为什么要选你和我当丘比特情侣呢
But why would students vote you and me to be Cupid's Couple?
因为我们是呆子情侣
Because of the double-nerd angle.
-我不是呆子 -其实你是
- I'm not a nerd. - You kind of are.
-我不是 -我们太可爱了 不会输的
- I'm not. - We'll be too adorable to lose.
负负得正
A negative times a negative is a positive.
-没这回事 -这个等补习的时候再教你
- That can't be right. - We'll cover that in tutoring.
那就这么说定了
So, do we have a deal?
感觉愚弄感情不大好
Feels kind of wrong to mess with love.
小吉米哦
Jimmy Jr.
我们得小心点
We'd have to be careful.
这么多浪漫喜剧观影经验告诉我
I've seen enough romantic comedies to know
你很可能会爱上我
you're probably gonna fall for me.
我不会爱上你的
I won't fall for you.
好吧 不过你还是有可能会爱上我
Okay, it's just that you're probably gonna fall for me.
-千万别 -我不会的
- Don't. - I won't.
-很好 一定要忍♥着 -没那必要
- Good, fight that feeling. - I won't need to.
好吧 假男友
Okay, fake boyfriend,
我们假装谈场恋爱吧
let's fake do this.
你的手和你额头一样黏黏的
Your hand is sweaty like a forehead.
我知道 我就是这样
I know. It's an issue.
天哪 你们现在是情侣吗
Oh, my God, are you two a couple now?
-你自己琢磨[算算]吧 -我不要
- You do the math. - No.
好吧 我们是情侣了
Yeah, we are.
我的乖乖
Well, nibble my dibble.
你们约会有多久了
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