剧集 | 麻烦一家人(2019) | 导航列表
My hair's always gonna look better than yours.
然后我们搬去了新墨西哥州
...and then we moved to New Mexico.
呃 你有吸过毒吗
Uh, you ever had a sopapilla?
我妈总是这样
My mom's always like,
你这么聪明怎么不去读火箭工程大脑科学呢
Why you no do rocket surgery?
老兄 小团体的探探剧场可没我想的那么疯狂
Man, Coterie Shyppr Theater's not nearly as wild as I wanted.
噢 姐妹 这是因为我没参与
Oh, girl, that's 'cause I wasn't involved.
那个你在约会的作家怎么了
What happened to that writer guy you were seeing?
天 他尝试在我身上用白人救世主那套
Man, he tried to pull that white savior crap on me.
难道他不知道我在攻读博士学位吗 婊♥子♥
Don't he know?I'm working on a PhD, bitch.
任何一个看着你且认为你需要被拯救的
Anyone who looks at you and thinks you need saving
- 都可以给老娘滚了 - 谢谢
- can kiss my black ass. - Thank you.
- 呃 你好 - 噢 你好呀
- Uh... hello. - Oh, hayllo!
要是在屏幕上看到他 我可能要把屏幕滑烂
I would swipe hella right on that.
我滑过了 但很明显他不想跟我配对
I did. And he clearly did not swipe right on me.
- 真的吗 - 是的
- For real? - Yep.
好的 现在事情发展得真好啊
Okay, now, this is getting good.
你打算怎么做
Whatcha gonna do?
和他对我做的事情一样
Same thing he did to me.
- 忽视他 - 好的
- Ignore him. - Okay.
噢 嘿 女王殿下
Oh, hey, queen.
天佑女王
Live your best life.
- 这真辣 - 收回去吧
- That's hot. - Take it back.
听着 我知道我可能看起来很吓人
Look, I know I may seem intimidating,
但我穿裤子一次用两条腿
but I put my pants on two legs at a time
就和其他人一样
just like everyone else.
不好意思 你说了什么
Sorry. What were you saying?
我在说我的裤子
I was talking about my pants.
好的
Right.
再告诉我一些吧
Tell me more.
需要帮助吗
Need help?
想冷静一下还是来找零食
Cooling off or looking for snacks?
都有
All of the above.
学得怎么样了
How's the studying going?
你知道的 开始弄了
You know, getting organized.
艺术展准备得怎么样了
How's the arting going?
呃 你懂的 在弄了
Uh, you know, getting organized.
有什么好吃的吗
Anything good to eat in there?
没有
Nothing.
几个街区外有辆食品推车
There's a food truck festa few blocks from here.
我们总得吃饭的 对吧
We gotta eat, right?
不好意思
Excuse me?
所以 这还是发生了 对吧
So, this is happening, huh?
不好意思
Sorry.
祝你有个愉快的夜晚
Have a good night.
呃 公社里恋爱总是没有好结果 朋友们
Uh, coterie romances never end well, guys.
相信我
Trust me.
我真的得去学习了
I really have to study.
是啊 我真的得去工作了
Yeah, I really have to work.
看吧 现在那人对这些软件来说是个问题
See, now that guy is a problem with these apps.
他看到是黑人就自动往左滑动
He sees a dark face and automatically swipes left.
如果他们不这样做 他们就不会把你看做一个完整的人
And if they don't, they won't let you be a whole person.
就是 难道我就不能同时有博士学位和火♥辣♥的身材吗
Right. Like, why can't I have a PhD and big ass booty?
好吧 因为对社会和这些软件来说
Well, because according to society and those apps,
我们要么是在挣扎的亚种人
we're either struggling subhumans
- 要么是过激的怪胎 - 真理啊
- or hypersexulaized freaks. - Preach.
这些软件不全是坏的 我确实有在网上碰到完美先生安东
The apps aren't all that bad. I did meet Anton online.
- 我们知道 - 我们知道
- We know! - We know!
这就对了
That's right.
你继续在那等着 带着你好看的肩膀
You keep on waiting over there with your nice shoulders.
你怎么敢向左滑动拒绝我的姑娘
How dare you swipe left on my girl?
你以为你很完美 我有
You think you all that,I got a...
噢 操 他过来了
Oh, shit. Here he come.
呃 打扰一下
Uh, excuse me.
呃 你觉得我们可以点些喝的吗
Uh, you think it's possible we could order some drinks?
我和我朋友 我们在这等了一会了
Me and my friend,we've been here for a minute.
真的很抱歉 我一定是忽略你了
I'm so sorry.I must have overlooked you.
我马上就好
I'll be right over.
非常感谢
Appreciate it.
所以戴夫·马修斯不是你最喜欢的乐队吗
So Dave Matthews isn't your favorite band?
不是
No.
我是讽刺地说的
I put that ironically.
没有一个四十岁以下的人最喜欢的乐队是戴夫·马修斯
No one under 40's favorite band is Dave Matthews.
我就是
Mine is.
- 行 - 你以为我也是带着讽刺意味地说吗
- Well...- Did you think I was being ironic too?
这是为你选择我的原因吗
Is that why you you picked me?
- 因为我不确定 - 够了
- 'Cause I wasn't sure... - Okay.
坦白地说 保罗
Full disclosure, Paul?
我并没有选你
I didn't pick you.
这像是一种实验
This was a bit of an experiment.
自动冲水马桶
That automatic flushing toilet
溅到了未经准许的地方
splashed up in places I never gave permission.
- 你永远不知道 - 够了 - 哦 这是
- You never know. - That's enough. - Oh. What are...
拜托了 你在做什么
Come on.What are you doing?
你肯笑真的很贴心 但这很傻
You're sweet to laugh,but it's dumb.
不是的 你是真的很有趣
No. You're like legit funny.
你应该来我的广播秀做客
You should come be a guest on my radio show.
- 你有一个广播秀吗 - 是的
- You have a radio show? - Yeah.
我们每周日早上实时直播
We live stream on Sunday mornings.
我们大概有11个听众 但他们是忠实听众
We have like 11 listeners,but they're devoted.
酷 我是说 这是像脱口秀吗还是
Cool. I mean, is it like a talk show or...
随我心意
It's like whatever I want it to be.
有时候我会放一些让我哭出来的音乐
Uh, sometimes I play music that makes me cry
或者是女士迪斯科
or a lot of lady disco.
呃 我曾放过一个小时的
Uh, one hour I just played the sounds
白人女孩们点早午餐的声音
of white girls ordering brunch.
是的 就是聊些发生在我身上的小事
Yeah. I just talk about random stuff that happen to me.
像是糟糕的约会吗
Like bad dates?
这可不是糟糕的约会
This is not a bad date.
- 根本不是 - 是吧
- At all. - Yeah?
我过得很愉快
I'm having a good time.
我也是
Me too.
我去过布罗德美术馆 格罗夫购物中心和好莱坞露天剧场
I've been to The Broad,The Grove, The Hollywood Bowl,
所有的洛杉矶的著名景点 真的
all the The's of LA, really.
你试过花♥花♥公♥子♥鲁尼恩吗
Have you done Runyon yet?
那是一个让你浑身紧张的地方
It's the place to get your body tight.
你明白吗
You get it?
是啊是啊 我知道你在想什么
Yeah, yeah. I see what you did there.
好的
Yeah.
还要什么吗
Anything else?
是的 呃 想知道你的名字
Yes. Uh, how about your name?
你会原谅我的朋友的
You'll have to forgive my friend.
他的所有技巧都是从詹妮弗·洛佩兹的电影里学的
He gets all his game from Jennifer Lopez movies.
好吧 我们说的是
Well...We talking Enough J.Lo
我是个更像凯特·哈德森那样的人
Oh, I'm more of a Kate Hudson guy to be all the way real.
所以我们一切都还好吧
So we're good here?
是的 我们喝完这个后就走 谢谢
Yeah, we're outta here after this one. Thank you.
噢 我还是不知道你的名字啊
Oh, I still ain't get your name.
姐妹 他真的很想要你
Girl, he wants you bad.
- 他是个花♥花♥公♥子♥ - 那我说开始游戏吧
- He's a player. - Well, I say game on.
耍耍他
Play his ass back.
是啊 以其人之道还其人之身
Yes. Give him a taste of his own medicine.
嘿 呃 你想跟我一起回家吗
Hey, uh, you wanna head back home with me?
我很乐意给你看看我的作品集
I'd love to show you my portfolio.
嘿 宝贝 我很抱歉
Hey, babe, I am so sorry.
我知道我承诺给你空间
I know that I promised to give you space,
但我真的需要和你谈谈
but I really need to talk to you.
哟 老兄 你能让开吗
Yo, bro. Do you mind?
嘿 呃 不 这只要一会就好
Hey. Uh, yeah, no. This'll just take a second.
呃 听着 我可能比你好看的头发
Uh, look, I know that I might not have better hair than you
或者穿着漂亮西装带你去不错的餐厅
剧集 | 麻烦一家人(2019) | 导航列表