消消气（2000）

Curb Your Enthusiasm S04E10

Part 7 Oct. 4, 2020, 11:12 a.m.

How quickly they forget.
他们忘得可真快
I am Max Bialystock!
我是麦克斯·比亚里斯托克
The first producer ever
第一个在冬天
to do summer stock in the winter!
排演夏季剧目的制♥作♥人！
You've all heard of theater in the round?
你们都听说过圆形剧场吗？
You're looking at the man who invented theater in the square.
你们眼前这个男人发明了方形剧场
Nobody had a good seat!
谁的视角都不好！
I spent my entire life in the theater.
我一生都泡在剧院里
I was a protégé of the great Boris Thomaschefsky.
我是伟大的鲍利斯·汤玛斯海夫斯基的徒弟
Yes, he taught me everything I know.
是的他教给我一切
I'll never forget.
我永远忘不了
He turned to me on his deathbed
他临终前对我说
and said, "Maxella..."
"麦克斯啊"
What does that mean?
这是什么意思？
I don't know, I don't speak Yiddish.
我不知道我不会说意第绪语
Strangely enough, neither did he.
很奇怪他也不会
ln my heart I knew what he was saying.
我心里知道他说的什么
He was saying, "When you're down and out
他说"当你身处低谷
and everybody thinks you're finished,
大家都以为你完了的时候
that's the time to stand on your two feet and shout,
你就应该站直了大声喊
'Who do you gotta fuck to get a break in this town?"'
你得跟谁睡才能在这里出人头地？"
Hello?
有人吗？
Anybody here?
有人在吗？
Mr. Bialystock?
比亚里斯托克先生？
Who are you? What do you want?
你是谁？你要干什么？
What are you doing here?
你来这干什么？
Speak to me, dummy, speak!
说话啊蠢货说话啊！
Why don't you speak?
你为什么不说话？
Scared, can't talk.
吓死我了说不出话
All right, calm down.
好吧冷静下来
Relax, get ahold of yourself.
放轻松稳住
Take a deep breath.
深呼吸
Ahh.
啊
Who are you?
你是谁？
I'm Leopold Bloom. I'm an accountant.
我是利奥波德布鲁姆是个会计
I'm from Whitehall & Marks.
来自Whitehall&Marks事务所
I've come here to do your books.
我来处理你的账目
Oh, you have, have you?
噢你来啦？
Now, let's see.
现在我们来看看
If we add these deductions, we get...
如果我们加上这些扣除的项就能得到...
Oh, it's absolutely amazing,
噢太妙了
but under the right circumstances
在特定的情况下
a producer could make more money with a flop
一个制♥作♥人失败所挣到的钱
than he could with a hit!
比他成功赚的还要多！
Yes, it's quite possible.
没错这样是有可能的
If he were certain that the show would fail,
如果他确信这个戏会惨败
a man could make a fortune!
他可以挣一大笔钱呢！
Yes?
是吗？
Yes what? What you were saying.
是什么？你刚才说的
Keep talking. What was I saying?
接着说我刚说什么？
You were saying that under the right circumstances--
你刚说在特定的情况下
you were saying...
你刚才说...
that under the right circumstances--
在特定的情况下
What was I saying?
我说什么？
That under the right circumstances--
在特定的情况下
Under the right circumstances,
在特定的情况下
what?
什么？
That's the question.
问题就在这
What?
什么？
Boy, you got a nice
兄弟你有一头
healthy head of hair there, you know that? Look at that!
健康漂亮的头发你知道吗？看看啊！
It's like a pelt!
像一块皮毛似的！
Uh...
嗯...
I didn't really get the good shave today, you know?
我今天没能好好刮胡子你知道吗？
I don't know why, I'm an excellent shaver.
我不知道为什么我可会刮胡子了
Feel this cheek, Bloom. Feel that cheek.
看看我的脸颊吧布鲁姆感受一下
It's like a tush. Is that not a tush?
简直像屁♥股♥一样光滑不是吗？
I got a tushy cheek.
我的脸颊光滑得像屁♥股♥
Um, it's Boy oh boy.
嗯它是天了噜
Please, Mr. Bialystock,
比亚里斯托克先生
um, I've discovered
嗯我发现
that a man...
一个制♥作♥人...
could make more money with a flop
通过一场惨败赚到的钱
than he could with a hit.
会比一场成功的演出更多
Does that bring any scheme to mind?
这么说能让你想到什么吗？
Yeah.
是啊
Ever play this game? I'm sorry.
你玩过这个吗？不好意思？
You don't come to theater with a hat. Never did that one?
你不能戴着帽子来过剧院从来没有过？
No. You don't wear a hat to the theater.
没有你不能戴着帽子来剧场
It's not a hat, sir. Take your hat off!
这不是帽子先生把你的帽子摘下来！
I won't take my turban off! I can't see!
我不会摘掉头巾的！我看不到了！
It's not my fault, he gave me the tickets.
这不是我的错他给我的票
Calm down and try to watch. No! No!
淡定点凑合着看吧不！不！
Fine, watch! You're disturbing everybody.
好了看吧！你打扰到所有人了
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my cousin Andy.
女士们先生们这是我的表亲安迪
It may come as no surprise to you to learn
你们可以毫不意外地发现
that he is the product of incest.
他是个近亲通婚的产物
Of course, among friends and relatives,
当然啦亲朋好友
Andy is known by his affectionate nickname--
都知道安迪非常有爱的昵称
The Primary Reason for Anti-Semitism.
反犹主义的头号♥原因
Unfortunately, I know from experience
不幸的是依我的经验
the only way we're going to get him to calm down
唯一能使他镇定下来的
is to put a Swanson frozen dinner on his lap.
就是往他膝盖上放上一顿斯旺森冷冻餐
Wait, let's go back.
等等我们回去吧
Yeah, let's go. This is funny.
好回去吧这挺有趣
I know he's quite partiaI to the Salisbury steak.
我知道他比较偏爱索尔兹伯里牛排
You know, there might be an upside to this whole experience,
这件事也有好的一面
because if any of you are looking for an apartment in New York--
因为你们要是有人在纽约找住处的话
and I know they're very hard to find--
我知道房♥子很难找
Andy is subletting his mouth.
安迪的嘴正在分租
There's a lot of room in there.
里头空间可大啦
A lot of room.
非常充足的空间
I know there was a Taliban living in there,
我知道之前有个塔♥利♥班♥分子住里面
but he left and he's now renting some space under the Sikh's turban.
但他走了现在租住在他那锡克头巾下面
But the turban, it has all kinds of practical applications.
但是这块头巾有很多实用之处
It's a tourniquet,
它是条止血带
it makes a lovely sash.
也可以当条不错的腰带
Say you want to have an impromptu game
要是你心血来潮想玩游戏
of Pin the Tail on the Donkey,
比如钉驴耳朵啦
you've got a blindfold.
你可以拿它蒙住眼睛
All right, what was I saying?
好了我刚才说到哪了？
What was I saying?
我刚才说到哪了？
What was I saying?
我刚才说到哪了？
You were saying...
你刚才说...
that under the right circumstances,
在特定的情况下
a producer could make more with a flop
一个制♥作♥人通过一场失败的表演
than he could with a hit. It's quite possible.
可以比成功的表演挣到更多钱很有可能
Yes, you keep saying that, but you don't say how.
是啊你说了半天了但你没说到底怎么做
Well, it's simply a matter of creative accounting.
其实就是创造性做账而已
Let's assume for a moment that you are a dishonest man.
我们假设你暂且是个不诚实的人
Assume away.
用不着假设
Did you see the look on their faces
你看到他们脸上的表情了吗
when Larry David forgot every line he had?
拉里大卫忘词忘得一干二净的时候？
He went up, up in smoke!
他完全演砸了
Oh, God, I'm so glad. I'm so thankful!
噢天啊我太高兴了我太感激了！
Thank God that this damn play is going to be over.
谢谢上帝这出破戏终于要结束了
We're going to get our lives back. He has freed us
我们又可以活过来了他让我们解脱了
from the anchor, from the albatross of "The Producers."
摆脱了《金牌制♥作♥人》的重压
Right, right. Which has invaded our lives
是的是的这重压已经入侵了我们的生活
every single minute, every hour of every day!
无时无刻没日没夜！