鲍勃心动

Bob Hearts Abishola S01E15

Part 2 June 18, 2020, 4:37 p.m.

还要六周
Six more weeks.
至少我们有人中了丘比特之箭
At least one of us got shot by Cupid's arrow.
是的正中我的臀部
Yeah. Hit me right in the ass.
怎么回事
What happened?
难道艾比希拉不喜欢那条手链
Didn't Abishola love the bracelet?
她什么都不爱
She doesn't love anything.
还不如跟机器人约会呢
Might as well be dating a robot.
这不是艾比希拉的错
Oh, it's not Abishola's fault.
是文化差异所致
It's her culture.
他们并不是情感丰富的人
They're just not effusive people.
如果你愿意
If you want,
克里斯汀娜可以教你如何成为自己的伴侣
Christina can teach you how to self-partner.
过来坐这
Here, come sit down.
弟弟妹妹能够给予
You've got all the love you need right here
你想要的全部的爱
with your brother and sister.
你可以说我疯了
Call me crazy,
但我认为得我值得更多
but I think I deserve more than that.
你不是疯了
You're not crazy.
你只是错了
You're just wrong.
我们三个还能更可怜点吗
Can the three of us be any more pathetic?
我们可以把妈妈推过来
We could wheel Mom in here.
我问过了
I asked.
她不想出来玩
She doesn't want to hang out.
第二天
该做什么不用你说
我有什么办法我得为你的平安健康负责
我又不是小孩
你确定
你带着头盔活像到处横冲直撞的小孩
出什么事了
What's going on?
抱歉维勒先生
I am sorry, Mr. Wheeler.
我正设法救他的命
I am trying to save his life.
不是他正在打击我的积极性
No. He's messing with my mojo.
他出去
He went out
买♥♥了一辆危险的摩托车
and bought a dangerous motorcycle
尽管我明令禁止
even after I forbade it.
它不是摩托车
It's not a motorcycle.
它是辆速克达
It's a scooter.
排量一五零
150cc.
非常迅捷
Very zippy.
你是在说停车场的那个红色小东西吗
You talking about that little red thing in the parking lot?
不是红色是豪情红
Not red. Rosso Passione.
区别很大
Big difference.
科福你是我表弟
Kofo, you are my cousin.
我答应过你父母我会照顾你
I promised your parents I'd look out for you.
我甚至在家里腾出地方给你住
I even made space for you in my home.
住在车♥库♥上面
Above the garage.
如果我必须像方奇那样生活
If I have to live like Fonzie,
我就得像他那样开车
I will drive like him.
你们还知道方奇
You guys know Fonzie?
-对 -对
- Aaayyh.- u202dAaayyh.
他说他照顾我
He says he looks after me,
但我睡在沙发床上
but I sleep on a futon
旁边全是他屯的房♥屋油漆罐
next to all his stored cans of house paint.
又不能把它们扔掉
I can't throw them away.
补漆时还要用呢
They are for touch-ups.
在你想跟某个女孩上♥床♥时
Try telling that to a girl
你这么跟她说试试
you are attempting to intercourse with.
那你们也知道《拉维恩和雪莉》吗
Hey, did you guys get Laverne & Shirley, too?
就是
You know...
*大房♥子小房♥子*
* Schlemiel, Schlimazel *
*画好房♥子跳房♥子*
* Hasenpfeffer Incorporated. *
我们该回去工作了
We should get back to work.
是的
Yes.
与此同时
瞧瞧这个
Look at this.
情人节第二天
The day after Valentine's Day,
楚库埃梅卡还在上班的时候给我送礼物
and Chukwuemeka is still sending me gifts at work.
真令人尴尬
It's so embarrassing.
你可以把它放在更衣室里
You could have left it in the locker room.
是可以
I could have.
但我没有
But I didn't.
给
Here,
看看他写给我的字条
read the note he wrote me.
"凯米我的爱"
"Kemi, my love..."
"我的心全天候向你敞开
"My heart is open to you 24 hours a day
就像大多数而非所有
Like most, but not all,
西维斯药店一样"
CVS Pharmacies."
"请在当地分店查询假日时间"
"Check your local branch for holiday hours."
他只崇尚两样东西
He worships two things:
低成本的仿制药替代品
providing low-cost, generic drug alternatives
和我
and me.
他一个尼日利亚人怎么会干这种
How is it that a Nigerian man engages in this...
美国兮兮的事
lovey-dovey American rubbish?
我能说什么呢
What can I say?
我的美胸吸引了追求者
My milkshake has brought the boy to the yard.
你喜欢这样吗
And you like this?
一开始不
I didn't at first.
但后来他开始送我礼物
But then he started to shower me with gifts.
你知道吗有一天
You know, the other day,
他给了我一个电热毯和一个加湿器
he gave me a heating pad and a humidifier,
只因如此
just because.
所以你就为了礼物
So you go along with something you're not comfortable with
去做你不喜欢的事
just for the gifts?
我也回送他礼物
I give him gifts, too.
我和楚克维梅卡做过的事
I have done things with Chukwuemeka
我从来没有和其他男人做过
I have never done with any other man.
凯米
Kemi,
你得尊重你自己
you have to respect yourself.
我说的是去野餐
I was talking about going on a picnic.
不管刚刚你想了什么...
Whatever you were thinking of...
我都和其他男人做过了
I have done with other men.
伙计们
Hey, guys.
你好维勒先生的弟弟
Hello, Mr. Wheeler's brother.
你好
Hi.
我想说我也是维勒先生
I mean, I'm also Mr. Wheeler,
但算了
but whatever.
怎么了
So, what's up?
我们有个人力资源的问题
We have an HR issue.
好吧
Okay.
你是人力资源主管
And you are head of HR.
是啊
yeah.
公♥司♥有要求我得做笔记
Company policy requires me to take notes.
等一下
Hang on a second.
我可以的
I got it.
这包装
Wrapping.
有笔的话更好
a pen would help.
好啦比剑还管用
Here we go. Mightier than the sword.
什么问题
So, what's the issue?
我得警告你如果是性方面的问题
And I have to warn you, if this is sexual in nature,
我就是个爱笑的人而已
I am a giggler.
好啦来吧
Okay, shoot,
这个人偷了我的韦士柏头盔
This man has stolen my Vespa helmet.
他疯了我拿这种东西来干什么
He is crazy. Why would I want such a thing?
因为它代表自♥由♥
Because it represents freedom,
代表开放代表的是一种鬼才理你的态度
the open road, a general devil-may-care attitude.
代表的是愚蠢
It represents stupidity.
在这儿我得打断你们一下
Okay, let me stop you right there.
这儿很安全没人会嘲笑你们
This is a safe space,
所以没人愚蠢也没人发疯
so, going forward, no one is stupid and no one is crazy.
你是发疯那个
你是愚蠢那个
谢谢
Thank you.
现在你能描述一下被偷的东西吗
Now, can you describe the stolen item?
是一顶闪闪发光的紫色头盔我今早才擦过的