鲍勃心动

Bob Hearts Abishola S01E11

Part 1 Feb. 11, 2020, 11:30 a.m.

《鲍勃心动》前情提要
Previously on Bob Hearts Abishola...
真是个性感的药剂师
That is a sexy pharmacist.
我愿意空腹
I'd like to take him twice a day
每天干♥他♥两次
on an empty stomach.
凯米
Kemi.
拜托别这样
Please, eh? Don't.
别哪样为你开心吗
Don't what? Be happy for you?
我只是来这里拿药
I am just here to pick up a prescription.
你可以骗自己但别骗我
You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me.
现在
好这边是鲍勃
Okay. On the one side we have the Bob.
鲍勃楚库埃梅卡
这边是楚库埃梅卡
On the other side we have Chukwuemeka.
-我们不用这么做 -我们不应该需要这么做
- We don't need to do this. - We shouldn't need to do this,
但这样我们才能确定
but this way you will know for sure.
-我很确定 -你错了
- I know for sure. - You are wrong.
我们从简单的开始
Let's start simple.
尼日利亚人这个简单
Nigerian. That's easy.
楚库埃梅卡得一分
Check mark for Chukwuemeka.
一比零
One to nothing.
这游戏真蠢
This is a stupid game. ?
帅气楚库埃梅卡再得一分
Handsomeness. Another check mark for Chukwuemeka.
形状完美的头
Perfectly shaped head.
再得一分
Double check.
鲍勃也很帅
Bob is handsome.
跟什么比
Compared to what?
好吧那"我喜欢他"呢
Okay, well, what about "I like him"?
那"他不无聊"呢
What about "He's not boring"?
那"他逗我笑"呢
And what about "He makes me laugh"?
把这些得分项写下来
Write those checks down.
逗你笑可以加一分
I will give you the laugh one.
其他的不重要
The other ones, not important.
有趣得一分
Funny. Check.
鲍勃还是远远落后
Bob is still losing very badly.
他对我来说是赢家
Eh, he's a winner to me.
那就定了
So that is it.
-你已经做出决定了 -没错
- You have made your choice. - I have.
-你确定 -对
- You are sure. - Yes.
-你选鲍勃 -对
- It is Bob. - Yes.
-不是楚库埃梅卡 -没错
- Not Chukwuemeka. - Yes!
好吧
Okay.
你要去哪里你不是这站下
Where are you going? This is not your stop.
我有事
I have an errand to run.
-什么事 -艾比希拉
- What errand? - Abishola,
我不管你的事你也别管我的事
I stay out of your business, you stay out of mine.
下一位
Next?
你好啊楚库埃梅卡
E karo, Chukwuemeka.
鲍勃心动
第一季第十一集
嗯我明白这是个问题
Yeah, I can see how that could be an issue.
他在和谁说话
Who's he talking to?
家庭律师
Family lawyer.
就是解决我小麻烦的那个
Same guy we use for my little problem?
不是你那是刑事律师
No, that was a criminal lawyer.
你觉得自己高我一等对吧
Makes you feel superior to me, doesn't it?
跟你比的话我还能去加拿大
Well, between the two of us, I'm still welcome in Canada.
好我会跟她谈谈再次感谢
All right, I'll talk to her. Thanks again.
怎么了
What's going on?
妈妈没有立遗嘱
Mom never made a will.
这不太好
That's no good.
对的确不好
No, it is not.
如果她死了会发生什么
If she died, what would happen?
就我而言我会心碎不已
Speaking for myself, I'd be heartbroken.
那是肯定的
Goes without saying.
还会发生什么
What else would happen?
首先我们可能需要把公♥司♥卖♥♥了
Well, for starters, we might have to sell the company
来支付公♥司♥的税
to pay the taxes on the company.
那不公平
That's not fair.
你应该打电♥话♥给国税局告诉他们
You should call the IRS and tell them that.
没必要像对小孩一样跟我说话
There's no need to talk to me like I'm a child.
那你就别像小孩一样说话
Then stop talking like one.
"别像小孩一样说话"
"Stop talking like one."
那有什么难的
What's the big deal?
让妈妈立个遗嘱就行了
So we tell Mom to make a will.
你自愿去吗
Are you volunteering?
-行啊有何不可 -好极了
- Sure. Why not? ?- Great.
去告诉我们刚经历过中风的母亲
Go tell our mother, who's recovering from a stroke,
她必须为自己死后做准备
that she has to make plans for when she's dead.
好吧首先我不会说"死后"
Well, for one thing, I wouldn't say "Dead."
那你会说什么
And what would you say?
我不知道说些有诗意的
I don't know, something more poetic,
比如 "摆脱凡人的束缚"
like, "Shuffling off the mortal coil."
你是刚想出来的吗
Did you just come up with that?
-引用莎士比亚 -没错
- Shakespeare. - Oh, yeah.
他好厉害
He's good.
那你去吧去告诉妈妈
Well, go ahead, then. Go tell Mom
她需要在自己摆脱凡人前立遗嘱
she needs to make some plans before she shuffles.
行
Fine.
行啦被你抓到我是口嗨我不想去
Okay, you called my bluff. I don't want to.
我就知道我去解决
That's what I thought. I'll take care of it.
那"凡人的束缚" 是指身体吗
So the "Mortal coil" is, like, your body?
对
Yeah.
这比喻太酷了
That's very cool.
我们能谈谈吗
Can we talk?
反正我也不会逃走
Well, it's not like I can run away.
我欠你一个道歉
Hey, I owe you an apology.
真的吗为什么
Really? For what?
我在新闻里看到的
I saw this thing on the news
说婴儿爽身粉会引起癌症
about baby powder causing cancer.
嗯所以呢
Yeah, so?
在你小时候我每天都用
When you were little, I used that stuff every day.
把你在粉里蘸蘸仿佛你是个糖粉甜甜圈
Dipped you in it like you were a powdered doughnut.
所以对不起
So, sorry.
你之前不知道
Eh, you didn't know.
但是怀孕时抽烟
Now, the smoking when you were pregnant,
这个坏处你是懂的
that's something you knew about.
我能说什么我不想生个巨婴
What can I tell you? I didn't want a big baby.
显然也没能阻止你疯长
Clearly didn't stunt your growth.
谢了啊让接下去的谈话变得容易
Thanks for making this easier.
我之前和戈德菲舍尔通话了
I was just talking to Goldfischer.
我们的犹太律师
Our Jew lawyer?
-妈妈 -怎么了
- Mom! - What?
他自己也这么说
He says it.
听听我的电♥话♥留言
Listen to my phone messages.
"我是阿尼·戈德菲舍尔你最爱的犹太律师"
"Hi. It's Arnie Goldfischer, your favorite Jew lawyer."
他可以这么说你不可以
He can say it; you can't.
我去参加他孩子的成人礼了还给了他五百美元
?Hey, I was at his kid's bar mitzvah. Gave him 500 bucks.
那个铁公鸡连感谢卡都没给我写
The little pisher never sent me a thank-you card.
依然不能这么说
Still can't say it.
好吧
All right!
他说尽管他已经尽了最大努力
He has informed me that despite his best efforts,
你依然拒绝立遗嘱
you have refused to make out a will.
真的假的你想现在谈这个事
Really? You want to talk about this now?
看看我我就像个断了线的木偶
Look at me. I'm like a marionette with a broken string.
我知道这不是个让人舒服的话题
I know it's an uncomfortable subject,
但到时接管生意会变得很艰难
but we would have a hard time holding on to this business
如果你突然
if you were to suddenly...
摆脱了凡人的束缚
shuffle off your mortal coil.
莎士比亚
Shakespeare.
漂亮
Nice.
所以如果我要立遗嘱
So if I were to write up this will,
你觉得怎样立才公平
what do you think would be fair?