好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E07
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:07 p.m.
Hey, look who's here. Hey, Dad.
看看谁回来了 老爸
Aren't you gonna kiss me goodbye?
亲爱的 你不和我吻别吗
Apparently not.
显然不
Do you see how rude he is to me?
你看见他对我这么无礼了吗
It's terrible. I'll talk to him.
是啊 太不应该了 我会和他谈谈的
I wish you would because... Wait, Alan!
我希望你会的 因为... 艾伦
Oh, oh, sorry.
对不起
Alan, have you been badmouthing me?
你是不是讲过我的坏话
Badmouthing you? To whom?
说你的坏话 对谁?
To Jake. Oh, to Jake. No.
对杰克 对杰克 那没有
Why?
怎么了
His attitude towards me is disrespectful.
他最近对我的态度很不尊敬
I have to wonder where he's getting it from.
所以我想知道他从哪学来的
I assure you, I make it a point to speak well of you in front of our son.
我敢保证我一直在 我们儿子面前夸奖你的好人品
What about your brother? Oh, with Charlie, I'm completely honest.
那你弟弟呢 查理从不说真话
That is not what I meant. I know.
我不是这个意思 我知道
Hey, Judith.
朱蒂丝
Have you said derogatory things about me to Jake?
查理 你对杰克说了我的坏话吗
No, why? Did you want me to?
没有啊 怎么了 你想我说吗
I don't understand his behavior.
我不知道他为什么这样做
Ignoring me, avoiding me, acting like I'm the enemy.
他对我生气 对我避而远之 好像我是他的敌人一样
But you get why I'm doing it, right?
所以你以为是我教唆他的 对吧
I got it!
我来接
I don't know what to say.
朱蒂丝 我不知该怎么说
He's not getting it from us.
但这种态度 他肯定不是从我们这里学的
Absolutely not.
绝对不是
It's your mother!
是你们的妈妈的电♥话♥
You talk to her. No, I talked last time.
你去接 不可能 上次是我接的
Choose you for it.
猜拳决定吧
Odds.One, two, three, shoot. Odds. You talk to her.
剪刀石头布 该你去接
Hey, but you said you were gonna... I lied.
是你说... 我撒谎了
Leave a message at the beep. Beep!
在哔声之后留言 哔...
I wish there were a better way to deal with Mom.
我希望能有个更好的办法来对付妈妈
There is, but we're both too pretty for jail.
有是有的 但我们两个都不想坐牢
What? What?
怎么 怎么
Mom's here.
妈妈来了
Charlie, did you hear me?
查理 你听见我说话了吗
Yeah, I just prefer to live in denial.
听见了 我只是想表现出没听见
Come on. We talked about this. We need to set an example.
别这样 我们说过的 得给杰克做个好榜样
Fine, tell Mom I love her and...
好吧 告诉妈妈我爱她 还有...
I don't wanna give her my cold.
我不想把感冒传染给她
That is not going to help.
这毫无帮助
Well, you gotta say it in front of Jake.
那你该在杰克面前说
No. Here is the plan.
不 计划是这样的
We'll stop acting like we hate being with her...
我们不能再表现出 我们讨厌和她在一起
stop taking shots at her,
不能再说她坏话
and start acting like we love and respect her.
要开始表现出我们爱她并且尊重她
All at once?
要同时表现那么多?
Come on.
来吧
Your Uncle Charlie thinks I don't see him...
你查理叔叔以为 我没看见他在那里
but Grandmommy sees everything.
但你奶奶我什么都看得见
Mom, we didn't expect to see you today.
妈妈 我们没想过你今天会来
I have to come unannounced because when I call first...
我得进来宣布
there's no one home when I get here.
是因为我先前在外面打电♥话♥来的时候 家里一个人都没有
I imagine that's only because
我想这是因为...
my cowardly sons are trying to avoid me.
我胆小的儿子们想要避开我
She's ruining the plan.
她在破坏这个计划
Well, the important thing is
重要的是
we're all here, and we're happy to see you.
我们都在 而且我们很高兴见到你
Right, Charlie?
对吗 查理
Oh, happy isn't the word.
岂止高兴啊
So, what's new, Mom?
有什么新鲜事吗
Well, if you really care... We do, we do.
如果你们真的想听 我们想 我们想
We do.
我们想
Next Sunday,
下个星期天
I am receiving my gold blazer from the Westside Realtor's Association.
我将会得到 西区地♥产♥协会颁发的金茄克衫
I am so proud of you. That's great. Me too, Mom.
我真为您骄傲 妈妈 我也是 妈妈
It's the highest honor the real-estate community can bestow.
这是一个地♥产♥经纪 所能得到的最高荣誉了
I am so proud of you. That's great. Me too, Mom.
我真为你骄傲 妈妈 我也是 妈妈
So I wanted to talk to you about the presentation ceremony.
我想说说那个致谢典礼
We'll be there. Tell us where and when.
我们会去的 只要告诉我们时间和地点就行了
Well, next Sunday, 5:00.
下个星期天 五点钟
And I was hoping we could have it here.
我希望能在这里举♥行♥
Here? Why here?
这里? 为什么是这里?
I mean, we love and respect you... But why here?
我的意思是我们爱你而且尊敬你 但为什么是这里?
This isn't really a good house for parties.
这里不是举♥行♥聚会的好地方
Yeah, it's so big and close to the ocean. Yeah.
对啊 这里太大 而且靠海那么近
Come on. I can't very well throw a party for myself.
别这样 儿子 我没办法一个人办一个聚会
This way
而且 这样的话
everyone will get to see how much my sons love and respect me.
大家都会看到 我的儿子们有多爱我尊敬我
Anyway, here is the guest list, and also a suggested menu.
这里是客人的名单 还有一些菜单的建议
Nothing fancy. Cocktails, buffet.
不用太铺张 鸡尾酒加自助餐?
Any questions?
有什么问题吗?
No. Good.
没有 很好
Okay.
好了
Big kiss.
用心干
Love you all.
我爱你们
Love you too, Mom. Bye, Grandma.
我们也爱你 妈妈 我也爱你 奶奶
Relatives, huh?
谁叫你们是亲戚啊
Can't live with them, can't turn them in for the reward.
不能与他们共处 更不能告发他们
Excuse me, Berta,
不是这样的 波塔
but we happen to love our mother very much.Right, Charlie? Right.
我们很爱我们的妈妈 对吧 查理 没错
Jake, look. There's a pelican on the deck. Oh, cool.
杰克 看 甲板上有只鹈鹕 真帅
Are you happy?
你高兴了吧
Now we have to throw a party for your crazy-ass mother.
现在我们得为 你疯狂的老妈办一个聚会了
She's your mother too. How do you know? I could've been adopted.
她也是你妈 你怎么知道 我可能是收养的
You wish.
你想得倒好
I do.
我确实想
Now, what about this stupid party?
这个讨厌的聚会怎么办
Here.
给
Maybe this'll help.
这个也许能帮上忙
"Daisy's Fishing Tackle and Live Bait"?
黛西钓鱼用具及活钓饵
Turn it over.
翻过去看
"Daisy's Classy Catering."
黛西高级宴会承办
She's my sister. Her husband left.
黛西是我的妹妹 被她丈夫抛弃了
I'm trying to get her back on her feet.
我想让她振作起来
She runs a catering business and a bait shop?
她经营宴会承办业务 和一家鱼饵店?
Not at the same time.
又不是同时
There's no pelican.
没看见什么鹈鹕啊
Hey, you Charlie?
你是查理?
Maybe.
可能是吧
Who's asking?
是谁在问呢
I'm Daisy, the caterer.
我是黛西 宴会承办商
Your Berta's sister?
你是波塔的妹妹?
Same mom. Dad's a little iffy.
同母 父亲有点不同
Berta said if I wanted a shot of your bourbon, I had to ask you.
波塔说如果我想开波本酒 得先过来问你
Yeah, sure. Knock yourself out. Thanks.
好的 没问题 你加油吧 谢谢
I don't usually drink before noon, but...
我通常不会在中午之前喝酒 但是...
I'm going through a rough patch.
最近我正处于困难时期
Well, that's why they make bourbon.
这就是酿造波本酒的原因啊
My husband left me for another woman.
我丈夫为了其他女人抛弃我
You know how I found out?
你知道我怎么发现的吗
To tell you the truth... Relax. It's rhetorical.
事实上... 别紧张 我没想让你回答
They waved to me as they drove my house out of the trailer park.
他们把我的活动房♥屋 从停车场里开走的时候 向我招手
That's sad.
那真不幸
Yeah. I had that doublewide 11 years.
是啊 我拥有那个二合一房♥屋11年了
Larry was with me for four.
拉里和我在那住了4年 当然...
Six months of those were house arrest,
其中6个月是由于软禁 (行政命令囚禁某人于自己的住所)
so you can't give him credit for that.
因此不能算数
You know, I haven't gotten up to pee yet.
我得起来尿尿了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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