好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E24
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:10 p.m.
They were all hot, and I nailed them.
他们都很火 而且全被我搞定过
Really. Well, kudos.
真的吗 久仰
But nothing lasts forever.
但是没有什么能长久下去
There's going to come a time when you'll wanna settle down.
总有一天你想安定下来
And I only hope you don't make the same mistake I did.
我只是希望你别犯同我一样的错误
I picked a young hottie...
我选了个青春玉女
...because I figured I'd die in the sack with a smile on my face.
只因为我想牡丹花下死
That's my retirement plan.
这同样也是我的退休计划
But it doesn't work that way.
但这行不通
What happens is...
事实上
...you get your heart broken...
你心碎难圆
...and you wind up having coffee with some putz...
最后你还和一些
...who never heard of Honey West.
根本没听说过宝贝韦斯特的人一起喝咖啡
Got it.
明白了
Thanks for the advice.
谢谢你的建议
Well, I'll be getting home now.
我得回家了
I got lawyers to call, locks to change.
要找律师 还要换锁
Maybe I'll stop at the market, pick up some of those cookies.
也许还要顺路买♥♥些这种点心
Here. Take the box. Oh, thanks.
哦 一盒都拿去 谢谢
Looks like I'm the big winner around here today.
看来今天我还是这儿的大赢家了
Hello? Anybody home? Hello.
喂? 有人在家吗? 你好
Hello. Who are you? Norman.
你好 你是? 诺曼
Oh, hello, Norman. I'm Evelyn.
你好 诺曼 我是艾芙琳
Is that your magnificent Rolls-Royce out in the drive?
车道上那辆令上眩目的劳斯莱斯是你的吗?
Why, yes, it is.
怎么了 是的
Are you a friend of Charlie's? No.
你是查理的朋友? 不
But my wife is.
但我老婆是
Did my son polish your trophy wife?
我儿子给你擦了擦你那花甁?
Well, you seem like a very intelligent man.
你看起来像个聪明人
I assume you had an airtight prenup.
我想你一定有个完美无缺的婚前协议
Bulletproof.
无懈可击
You know what, Norman?
你知道吗 诺曼?
You look a lot like my fifth husband.
你很像我的第五个丈夫
Really? How many times you been married?
真的? 你结过几次婚?
Four.
四次
Cookie?
点心?
"When Grandma came over, I thought things couldn't get any worse.
奶奶过来了 我想事情不会更糟了
But instead of making me visit...
但是没想到 她不仅没烦我
...she gave my dad money to take me, my uncle and Berta to the movies.
还出钱让我和我老爸 查理伯伯 还有波塔去看电影
We saw the Rob Schneider movie where he plays a stupid guy.
我们看了罗伯·施奈德的一部电影 他在里面演个笨蛋
I had popcorn, nachos and two jumbo red Slurpees.
我吃了爆米花 玉米片 两大杯红色思乐冰
But as you know, you don't buy Slurpees. You rent them."
但你知道 你不买♥♥思乐冰 是租的
Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. Cool your jets.
快点 快点 快点 你的水龙头得降降温
And if you can't cool them, point the nozzle away from me.
但如果你降不了 别把龙头对准我
Oh, God. Mom!
天呐 我的妈
We can't go in right now. Why not?
我们现在不能进去 为什么不能?
Because I can't afford to send you to therapy for the rest of your life.
因为我没钱让你余生都去看心理医生
What's going on?
怎么了?
Oh, God! What? What, what, what?
天呐 什么? 什么? 什么?
Good for Norman. That's getting right back on the horse.
好样的诺曼 这马骑得很黄很暴♥力♥
There's a horse in there? No, no. No horse.
里面有匹马? 不 没有
Well, I still have to pee. So go water that bush over there.
但我还是得尿尿 那去浇浇那面的灌木丛
"And so I did. And it just goes to show...
于是我那么做了 它终于出现在
...it's always in the last place you look."
你最后看到的那个地方
Very nice, Jake.
非常好 杰克
"Then on Sunday, we all went out for breakfast...
周日 我们出去吃早餐
...with Grandma and Uncle Norman.
和奶奶还有诺曼伯伯
I had chocolate-chip pancakes with blueberry syrup and bacon.
我吃了碎巧克力薄饼 蓝莓汁还有熏肉
Dad had scrambled eggs but with no yolks. Just the whites.
老爸吃了炒鸡蛋 但只没有蛋黄 只有蛋白
They looked like mashed potatoes.
看起来就像碎土豆泥
Then the kid next to us threw up his waffles. It was awesome."
后来旁边的一个孩子又给他的华芙饼干 太棒了
So, what's new in school? Almost got an A on my paper.
学校有什么新闻吗? 我差点得了个A
What do you mean "almost"?
"差点"是什么意思?
Got a C.
我得了个C
Okay, that's... That's fine. That's an improvement.
哦 那也好 也是进步
Minus.
是C-
Still, here's your dollar.
还是有进步 这是你的钱
You're paying him for a C-minus?
他得C- 你也要奖励?
That was our deal. A buck for every C, a car for every A.
我们说好了 一个C一美元 一个A一辆车
A car? Safest bet in the world.
一辆车? 全世界就这个赌注最安全
So, what was the report about? What we did last weekend.
关于什么的? 我们上周末所做的
No kidding? Yeah. And guess what else happened.
你没开玩笑? 猜还有什么
Trevor Griffin saw a ginormous rat in the cafeteria.
特雷弗在自助餐厅看见一只大老鼠
Yeah, but about the paper.
关于那篇作文
You wrote about everything that happened here last weekend?
你把上周末所有发生的都写了?
Well, everything but the boring stuff.
嗯 除了那些无聊的
Oh, this could be problematic.
可能有麻烦了
No, it's called "summarizing."
不 那叫"总结"
Can I see it? Sure.
我能看看吗? 当然
But it's at Mom's house. I gave it to her to read this weekend.
但现在在老妈家里 她这周末要看
He's 11. There's no way it stands up in court.
他才11岁 在法庭上他所说的不能当作证据
Does this smell funny to you?
你觉不觉得闻起来怪怪的?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表