好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E06
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:07 p.m.
Something that seemed harmless at the time...
有些当时看上去貌似无伤大雅
yet somehow managed to mess up someone's entire life?
却在无意中毁了别人一生的事
Good question.
问得好
I think it's too early to say.
我觉得现在回答还太早
Go on.
继续
Well, I have.
其实我
Twenty-five years ago, I put Silly Putty in my brother's pants.
25年前我把橡皮泥放在我弟的裤兜里
Well, if you left it in the egg, it should still be good.
如果现在还没开封其实还可以用的
My point is, everybody thought he stole it...
我的意思是大家都以为是他偷了
and I never told him the truth.
我从没告诉过他真♥相♥
Now you're wracked with guilt...
而现在你萌生内疚
and not sure whether a confession will make things better or worse.
却不知道向他坦白 会让事情变糟还是变好
Yes, exactly.
没错 就是那么回事
That's a sexy feeling, isn't it?
这种感觉很性感 不是吗
Come on, Rose.
拜托 罗斯
You want my advice, Charlie? God help me, yes.
你想要我的建议? 查理 上帝保佑 当然
Take your secret to the grave...
把秘密带进坟墓里
but leave a manuscript explaining every questionable act...
但要留一份遗书放在银行保管箱里
you've committed in a safety-deposit box...
把你所涉足的悬案全部解释清楚
with instructions for it to be opened at your death...
再写封申明 允许当你死后
and read in front of all your friends, relatives and former lovers.
可以打开箱子 当着所有亲朋好友的面宣读
I like it.
这主意不错
Good.
那就好
Now we can relax and enjoy the evening.
现在你可以放松尽情享受夜晚
Sing it with me, Charlie.
跟着我唱啊 查理
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
Are you decent? Yeah.
你没事吧 没事
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
What's up?
怎么了
Nothing. Just came in to say good night.
没事 不过进来道声晚安
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
Why?
为什么?
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
Nothing. You just seemed stressed out before, and I was concerned.
没啥 不过之前你看上去有点焦虑 我有点担心
Oh, thanks. You're a... You're a good brother.
谢谢 你真是个好哥哥
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
You do that every night?
你每个晚上都这么做?
Are you kidding? After every meal.
开什么玩笑 是每次吃完饭
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
You are tightly wrapped, aren't you?
你的确是把自己彻底封起来了 对吧
The price of healthy gums is eternal vigilance.
牙好的代价是永远警惕
Oh, God, I can't do this anymore.
老天爷 我是真的没法做下去了
Do what?
做什么
I have to tell you something.
我得告诉你点事
Okay.
行啊
Come on out in the bedroom. All right.
来吧 艾伦 别在卧室里呆着 行啊
What you doing? You'll understand in a minute.
你在干嘛 一会儿你就知道了
I thought you had to tell me something. I do.
我还以为你要跟我说什么 我是要说
There is no Bad Alan.
根本没什么"坏艾伦"
I stole the Silly Putty and put it in your pocket when you weren't looking.
是我偷了橡皮泥 然后趁你没注意放进了你口袋里
Three, four, five, six, seven.
3 4 5 6 7...
Damn you to hell!
诅咒你下地狱去!
Come out here and die like a man!
快出来像个男人样领死!
What do you know,
我知道啥
there is a Bad Alan.
还真是有"坏艾伦"
Hey, Dad, when you got arrested for shoplifting, did they take you to jail?
老爸 你偷东西被逮捕的时候 他们送你去监狱了吗
I did not get arrested, and there was no jail.
我没有被捕 也没去什么监狱
So I guess you never had to shank a guy to get your props in the yard.
那我猜你也没靠捅别人刀子来树立威信了
You cracked the parental code on the cable box again.
你又破解了有线电视的家长锁台密♥码♥ 对吧
It's 1-2-3-4. A monkey could crack that.
是1234 连猴子都能破解
Good morning. Morning.
早安 早安
Why are you walking like that?
干嘛那么走路
I spent the night in the bathroom.
我在厕所里熬了一宿
You too, huh?
你也是啊(拉肚子)
Tell Jake what you told me last night.
告诉杰克你昨晚跟我说的话
Oh, okay. Sure.
好啊 行啊 没问题
Jake, your father didn't steal the Silly Putty. I did.
杰克 你♥爸♥没偷橡皮泥 是我偷的
Really?
真的?
Yeah, I stuck it in his pocket,
是我放在他口袋里的
so if anything happened he'd be the one to get in trouble.
如果有人发现 有麻烦的就会是他
What do you think now, Jake?
你现在觉得怎样 杰克
I think Uncle Charlie's a genius.
我觉得查理叔叔是天才
What? No, no. No genius. No, no.
什么 不 不 不是什么天才
I mean, it's the perfect crime. How did you think of that?
这可是完美犯罪 你怎么想到的
I don't know.
我不知道
I saw the putty. Your dad was wearing those dorky chinos with the big pockets.
我看到了那个橡皮泥 你♥爸♥当时又正好穿那种大口袋的棉布裤
And a light just went off in my head... Charlie.
于是我灵光一现 查理
A bad light. A bad, evil light. Because stealing is wrong...
邪光 邪光一现 因为偷东西是不好的
...and letting somebody else take the blame for it is worse.
让别人替你背黑锅就更不对了 你懂了吗
Yeah, so Dad was like a decoy.
懂了 我爸就像一个诱饵
Well, technically, the term is "mule."
技术层面上讲 黑话应该叫骡子
Mule? Why? Because he carries stuff.
骡子? 为什么? 因为他运东西
Oh, of course...
对 当然
Okay, okay.
好了 好了
The important thing is, your father never stole in his life.
最重要的是你老爸这辈子从来没有偷过东西
And your Uncle Charlie is a thief and a coward.
而你查理叔叔既是小偷又是懦夫
Yeah, but you're a mule.
是啊 可你是骡子
Are you happy? Go get dressed and washed.
这下你高兴了? 穿上衣服刷牙去
Can we go to the mall? Why do you wa...? No.
我们去百货商场吗 为什么你想... 不去！
I need to get a different mule.
我得另外找一头骡子了
Okay, can we please get past this?
我们这事就算结了 行不行
No. No, we can't.
不行
I feel betrayed and hurt
我感到被背叛了而且很受伤
in ways that I can't even express.
这种痛苦甚至无法用语言来表达
And you think we can just dance past that?
你以为我们能跨着舞步就跳过去了
I was hoping.
我希望如此
Well, I am sorry, but it is not that easy.
我很抱歉 但是没有这么容易
I mean, thanks to you, my... My life has been twisted beyond recognition.
我是想说 正是由于拜你所赐 我的生活一团糟
I mean, look at me, Charlie.
看看我 查理
I'm a... I'm a broke, hopelessly neurotic, middle-aged man...
我是一个破了产的绝望的神经病 到了而立之年...
who doesn't know who he is or where he belongs.
还不了解自己 也不知道何去何从
I have nothing, Charlie. No... No wife, no home, nothing
我一无所有 查理 没老婆 没家 一无所有
Okay.
好吧
So should I check back with you after lunch?
那我们午饭后再谈?
I said I was sorry.
你想我怎么做了 艾伦 我说了对不起了
l... I confessed to Jake.
我也向杰克坦白了
And I doubt I got more than six, seven hours sleep last night.
而且昨晚我都没睡几个小时
Nothing you can do. The damage has been done.
你什么也做不了 苦酒已酿成 覆水难收
It can't be undone. Come on, You're gonna forgive. You always do
拜托 我是你大哥啊 你最终总是会原谅我的
No, no, this is different.- This is the worst thing you've ever done.
不不 这次不一样 这是你对我所做的最坏的事
- No, it's not.
不 这个不是
What do you mean?
什么意思
Just making conversation.
只是随便说说
Hey, Mom. Charlie, what are you doing here?
嗨 妈 查理 你在这儿做什么
In the neighborhood. Thought I'd visit. Why?
正好到了附近 就过来看看 为什么
I don't know. I'm your son. And...?
不知道 因为我是你儿子? 还因为...
And I was hoping we could talk. About?
还因为我希望我们能谈谈? 关于...
May I please just come in?
能不能先进来再说
Are you fleeing from the law?
你现在正在躲警♥察♥吧?
I'm not fleeing from anyone, Mom.
我谁也没躲 妈
Well, keep it in mind.
没事 不用再说了
No one would ever think to look for you at your mother's house.
没有人会想到你会躲在你妈家里
I get your point. I don't visit enough.
我承认你说的对 我的确来的不够多
You don't visit at all.
你是根本就没来过
And I'm riddled with guilt.
是 我一生全是罪孽
Oh, you're just saying that to make me feel better.
你刚才说的那些让我好过多了
So, what's up?
什么事
You know how the other night at dinner...
你知道 前几天晚上
we were talking about the Silly Putty deal?
吃晚饭时我们谈到关于橡皮泥那事
Did that venison disagree with you?
你吃那鹿肉没感觉不舒服?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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