好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E04
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:07 p.m.
Now, give it a little tap.
那可以试着轻轻点一下
It is on? No.
现在电源开着的吗 没有
Brake! Brake! Brake! Brake! Brake! Brake!
刹车! 刹车! 刹车!
Okay. Apparently it is on.
好吧 很明显 是开着的
This is awesome. You see how careful you have to be?
这真是太棒了 现在你明白你需要多小心了吧
And how much closer we are to the Dumpsters?
看看我们离那个垃圾箱有多近
Can I squirt the windows now? No.
我现在能把窗户打开吗? 不行
Now... Okay, why don't you turn the wheel slightly to the left...
现在试着把方向盘慢慢向左打...
...and very gently press down on...
然后轻轻地...
Brake! Brake! Brake!
刹车! 刹车! 刹车!
Remember, if you wanna drive Grandma's car again...
如果你还想开奶奶的车
...you can't be telling her about it. -I know.
你可不能告诉她这件事 -知道了
Or Mom, or anybody else. Daddy doesn't need the grief.
你妈或其他什么人都不能说 否则你老爸可承受不了
That was really cool, Dad. Thanks.
学开车真酷 谢谢老爸
Yeah. Yeah, it was. Hey, it just occurred to me.
是啊 我突然想到
If Greg's here, we can ask him about going out on the boat.
如果葛雷在这 问一下我们能不能跟他一起出海
No, I'm not going to ask Greg about going...
我才不会问他...
Hi, Judith. Here he is, safe and sound.
朱蒂丝 瞧 儿子完璧归赵
Hey, honey. Hey, Mom. Guess what we just did.
心肝 妈妈 猜猜我们刚才做了什么
What? Nothing in particular.
什么？ 没啥特别的
That's a kids' joke. "Nothing in particular."
小孩就喜欢开种这玩笑 "没啥特别的"
He's been doing it to us all weekend.
整个周末他都在这么说
So, well, okay. Bye. Alan.
好的 拜拜 艾伦
Alan.
艾伦
Ask about the boat.
问问船的事
Listen, next weekend... Yeah, yeah.
下周末... 啊啊
I know. You and Greg are taking Jake scuba diving.
我知道 你和葛雷要带杰克去潜水
No, that's the thing.
不是的 是这么回事
Greg and I have decided not to see each other.
我和葛雷不再交往了 所以...
So if you haven't made any plans, you can have Jake.
如果你周末 还没什么计划的话 你可以带他
Oh, yeah, yeah. I'd love to have him.
好啊 我很高兴能带他
And I'm sorry to hear about you and Greg.
你和格雷的事我很遗憾
Thank you. Is there anything I can do?
谢谢 有什么我可以帮忙的吗
Yeah, you can wipe that smirk off your face.
有 你可以把满脸奸笑收起来
Okay. Well... Well, bye. Bye.
行啊...再见 拜
Alan? Yeah?
艾伦?
Peephole.
猫眼
Where have you been?
去哪儿了?
Car wash. They found something real interesting in the back seat.
洗车 我在后座找到点很有趣的东西
Oh, yeah, what?
是啥?
Okay, now you're just showing off.
你这算显摆
No, Alan, I'm not.
不 我不是...
Although I have to admit, that is a sexy little item.
我得承认 这是件很性感的玩意儿
It is, isn't it? Yeah, yeah.
是吧 是呀
I'd like to meet the lady who fills this.
很想见见穿这个的那位小妞
Actually, you know her.
其实 是你认识的
Oh, really? Lisa? No.
真的?丽萨? 不对
Jennifer? Who's Jennifer?
詹妮弗? 詹妮弗是哪颗葱啊?
Oh, right. No.
那个 不对
Well, then who?
那是谁呢
I can tell you, but once I do, I can't untell you.
可一旦告诉你了 话就收不回了
What are you talking about? Who borrowed my car last weekend?
你在说些啥呀 上个周末谁借了我车来着?
Holy mother of God.
我的圣母啊
No. No. Unholy mother of us.
不 不对 是我们那不怎么圣的母
Mom in a car?
妈在车里搞?
Mom in my car.
妈在我车里搞!
If I'd known this was gonna happen, I'd have gotten the vinyl seats.
要是早知会出这档子事 就换成电椅了
Wait. You're not just gonna leave it in the middle of the floor, are you?
等等 等等 就这么把那留地板上?
Really creeps you out, doesn't it?
让你起一身鸡皮疙瘩对吧?
No. Then pick it up.
不是 那就捡起来啊
Hello? Oh, oh, hi, Jake. What's up?
你好 杰克 怎么了?
Slow down there.
慢点讲
Yeah. No, I know your mom broke up with Greg.
我知道你妈和葛雷分手了
Yes. I understand that you're very upset, but...
我能理解你很不开心
Well, no, no.
不行
I can't come over there and pick you up just because you're mad at your mother.
我不能就因为 你生你♥妈♥的♥气就来接你
Well... I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.
很遗憾 事情就这样的
Now, why don't you let me speak to her.
让我来跟她讲话
Yeah, Judith, hi. Look, I am trying to back you up here.
茱迪丝 听着 我正试着帮你说好话呢
No, I told him he had to work it out with you.
我告诉他必须得好好和你相处
No, no... Really?
真的?
You think it would be better if he came over here to cool off?
你觉得接他来这里冷静下比较好?
Okay, but...
那行啊
Well, bring him over, then.
那就把他带来好了
Well... No, I'll see you in a bit.
那就回头见了
Jake's coming over? Yeah, yeah.
杰克一会儿过来? 是啊
Apparently he's furious with his mother about this Greg thing.
很显然 他对他妈和葛雷分手的事很难受
Well, that's understandable. He was just getting to know this amazing guy...
那也是可以理解的 那毕竟是个有游艇有泳池
...who had a boat and a pool and a Hummer.
又有悍马的酷男
A guy who could teach him all sorts of cool stuff.
一个可以教你各种酷玩意儿的酷男
And then his mother just rips this wonderful man out of his life.
而他妈就这么硬生生地
Too soon?
太快了吧?
Hello. Everybody decent?
哈啰 有人在家吗?
Oh, hi, Mom. What a surprise.
妈 真是个惊喜啊
Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by...
我刚好开过这附近 就想着来看看
...and see how my sons are getting along.
我的儿子们过得如何
Well, we're doing fine. Yep, just fine.
活得很好 没错 很好
Good. Jake? He's... He's fine.
不错 杰克呢? 他也很好
Just dandy.
翘首以待
Oh, the hell with it.
管他呢
I left a $300 bra in the back seat of your Mercedes, and I want it back.
我丢了件三百美元的胸罩在你的奔驰后座上 我想要回来
Oh, my. How in heaven's name did that happen, Mother?
我的天 这种事怎么会发生的呢? 母亲
Well, if you must know... I don't need to know.
行啊 如果你非要知道 我不需要知道
Oh, Alan, grow up.
艾伦 成熟点吧
I sold a 12-million-dollar house and I wanted to celebrate.
我卖♥♥了套1200万美元的房♥子 想要庆祝一下
With the Saudi prince?
和那个沙特王子?
Don't be ridiculous. He's got nine wives and they're all like 11 years old.
别胡扯了 他有9个11岁左右的老婆
No, I was with the seller's realtor.
我是和卖♥♥家的中介一起庆祝
Splitting that juicy commission made us both so hot...
平分那笔肥滋滋的佣金
...we barely made it off the front lawn.
让我们激动得 连去前院草坪都等不及了
Now, go get Mommy's bra.
去帮你妈咪拿胸罩去
Oh, darling, that is just sick.
亲爱的 这么做很变♥态♥
Seek help.
小变♥态♥
Hey, what's going on? My mom broke up with Greg.
怎么了? 我妈和葛雷分手了
I heard.
听说了
I'm gonna live here with you and Dad from now on.
从今往后我就和你还有爸一起住了
Wanna bet?
想打赌吗?
Why not? Two reasons:
为什么不? 有两个理由
Your mother loves you, and life is cruel.
你妈爱你 而且生活很残忍♥
Wait, that may just be one reason.
等下 那其实是一个理由
Well, maybe my dad can talk my mom into getting back together with Greg.
说不定我爸能撮合我妈和葛雷
Enjoy fifth grade, kid. You're obviously gonna be there for a while.
好好享受五年级吧 享受不了多久了
What am I supposed to do, Alan?
我该怎么办好呢 艾伦
I know how much he liked Greg...
我清楚他有多喜欢葛雷
...but that can't be the reason for me to keep seeing him.
可那不能成为 我和葛雷继续下去的理由
I understand. You're not wrong here.
我能理解 这件事上你没错
I'm not? Because I certainly feel wrong.
我没错? 可感觉上好像是我错
I failed as a wife. I'm failing as a mother.
作为妻子我很失败 作为母亲我也很失败
I even blew it as a lesbian.
甚至连想做个同性恋都搞砸了
That might have been the problem.
说不定那就是问题所在
You're not a failure. We're both at fault for the marriage not working.
你可不是什么失败者 婚姻失败是我们俩的问题
You're a great mother. And I'm sure you would have made a heck of a lesbian...
你是个很棒的母亲 而且我认为你只要再苦练舌功
...if you just hung in there a little longer.
也能成为一个很好的同性恋
I'm gonna take Jake out so you guys can talk.
我带杰克出去逛逛 让你们俩好好聊聊
Thank you. Thanks, Charlie.
谢谢 谢谢 查理
Where we going? I gotta trade in my car.
我们去哪儿? 我想去把车换掉
Why are you trading this car in? Didn't you just get it?
干嘛要把这车换掉 这辆不还是新的吗?
Yeah, but there's a banging noise that's driving me crazy.
这车有种噪音让我发疯
I don't hear anything.
我可啥都没听到
You're not in my head.
你又没在我脑子里
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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