好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E01
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:04 p.m.
He used to be. Not anymore.
他曾经是 现在不是了
Him I don't recognize.
我不认识他
He's our bookie.
他是我的赌博记簿人
You can have your bookie, but not me?
你叫了赌博记簿人不叫我?
Bookies, like friends, are chosen.
赌博记簿人就象能够选择的朋友
Okay. Okay, fine. I'm sorry to interrupt.
好吧 十分抱歉打扰了
I need my address book so I can call one of my friends.
我要我的电♥话♥本 然后叫我的朋友出来
They don't care. Hurry up and get out.
不介意 快点完事就出去
Hurry up and get out. Sounds like sex with my ex-wife.
"快点完事就出去" 听上去象是和我前妻在做♥爱♥一样
I don't know if Charlie told you, but I'm recently divorced...
我不知道查理是否告诉过你们 我刚和我妻子离婚
...and it's been kind of a rough road.
真是条坎坷的路啊
Here's your phone book. Thank you.
你的电♥话♥本 谢谢
Of course, I guess in hindsight, I should have seen it coming, but...
谢谢 当然其实是有迹象预示的 我本该看见些征兆的
I'm gonna count to three. Bye.
我数到三 再见
Sorry about that. He's bent out of shape because I told him...
十分抱歉 我告诉我弟弟他不能参加
...he couldn't be part of the group. - Why not?
因此他有点沮丧 - 为什么不能?
You just saw him, didn't you? Trust me, he doesn't get any better.
刚才你们没看见吗? 相信我 他根本还没痊愈
I mean, he actually thinks this is a support group.
其实他还认为这是个互助会
This is a support group, Charlie.
这确实是个互助会,查理
You're the only one who's pretending it's about Scotch and cigars.
你是唯一一个假装认为我们只是在这里抽雪茄喝老酒的人
Whatever kind of group it is, we have rules about new guys joining.
好吧 不管是什么样的组织对于新人加入我们总有规定的吧
Well, but he's your brother.
但他是你弟弟
He's obviously going through a rough time.
很显然 他现在正处于困难时期
Seems like you should be more supportive, pal.
你应该多多支持他的
Hey, I support him plenty.
是的 我支持他的已经够多了
I share my home with him. I share my food with him.
我收留他住 给他吃的
I moved my foosball table so he could park in my garage.
为了他 我搬走了足球桌 腾出车♥库♥来给他停车
What more do you people want from me?
你们还想我怎么样?
Let me tell you something about sharing, kid.
孩子 我来和你谈谈关于分享
Sharing is a two-way street.
分享是双向的
When you share with another human being...
当你与另个人分享时
...you always get back more than you gave.
你得到的回报通常会更多
Assuming that you're smart enough to share with somebody...
当然要假设你够机灵
...that's got more stuff than you had in the beginning.
选和比你有钱的人分享
Hey, Dick, it's Alan. How's it going, buddy?
你好 迪克 我是艾伦 你最近怎么样 伙计
Oh, good, good.
很好 很好
Listen. You maybe wanna catch a movie tonight?
今晚你想不想看电影
Oh, really? You and Roz are at Judith's too. Interesting.
真的吗? 你和洛斯还有茱迪丝都在一起 有意思
So in addition to my house, half my money, and my self-esteem...
所以除了我的房♥子 我一半的钱 和我的自尊外
...Judith got custody of all my friends.
茱迪丝还接管了 我所有的朋友的"监护权"
No, no, no, I don't wanna take it up with her. I...
不不不 别让她接电♥话♥
Hi, Judith.
你好 茱迪丝
No, no. I'm not trying to ruin your party.
不 我没想毁了你的聚会
In fact, I've got a little party of my own.
其实我也有自己的小聚会了
Alan, come back to bed. I'm cold.
艾伦 到床上来 我冷
Be right there, baby.
马上来 宝贝
I gotta go, Judith. Bye.
我得挂了 再见 茱迪丝
Well, that's a new personal low.
行了 再创个人新"贱"
You know, as long as we're talking about getting older...
要知道 谈到变老这话题
...I was at this club the other night, window-shopping.
某天晚上 我在酒吧里 瞎逛逛
I realize I'm the oldest guy in the bar.
我突然意识到 我是酒吧里年纪最大的一个
I mean, I still look good.
我意思是说 虽然看起来依然很帅
But I'm competing for women with guys who are way younger.
但我正在和比我小的人比泡妞
I gotta tell you, I felt kind of depressed,
怎么说呢 沮丧得就象是
like maybe my best days are behind me.
我的好日子已经过去了似的
Oh, you're breaking my heart.
你想伤我的心吗?
There's maybe 11 women in this city who haven't saluted his old flag.
这城里可能只有11个女人 没向他那面老旗敬过礼呢
We should talk about Charlie and his brother.
我在想我们应该 让查理的弟弟过来聊聊
What? Why?
什么 为什么?
We've been meeting all these years and I never even knew you had a brother.
聚会那么多年 我们从来不知道你还有个弟弟
I didn't see that it was relevant.
我没看出和这有什么关联
Let me tell you something about relevant.
让我来和你说说"关联"这个词吧
The root of the word relevant is "rel"...
"关联"的词头是"rel"
...which is also the root of the word "relative."
它也是"亲戚"的词头
Your brother is your relative, ergo, your brother is relevant.
你弟弟是你的"亲戚" 因此...你弟弟和你是有"关联"的
What?
什么?
Another "rel" word is "relapse."
另外一个"rel"词是"旧病复发"
But I'll wait my turn.
就留到我讲的时候再讲吧
Hi. Is this Doug Ziskin?
你好 是达格·兹肯吗?
Yeah, yeah. Hey, Doug, it's Alan Harper.
你好 达格 我是艾伦·哈勃
I'm your chiropractor. But I'm calling as a friend.
我是你的脊椎按♥摩♥师 但是我是作为一位朋友 来打这个电♥话♥的
Well, I'd like to think we are.
我 我以为我们是...
Forget it. Sorry I woke you.
算了 将你吵醒很抱歉
Hey, neighbor. What are you doing out here all by your Ionesome?
你好 邻居 你一个人孤孤单单的在外面干什么?
Charlie's got some friends over and I thought I'd give him some space.
查理叫了一些朋友过来 我想给他一点空间
Oh, yeah. His support group.
那个互助会
He claims it's not a support group.
他声称那不是互助会
Oh, please. He also claims he's not in love with me.
拜托 他还声称没有爱上我呢
What do you want, Rose?
罗丝 你想干嘛?
Nothing. I was just sitting over there in Charlie's car...
没啥 我只是坐在查理的车里看到你
...and thought you might like some company.
想着也许你想要有个人陪你
From the minute they brought him from the hospital...
从他们把他从医院 带回家的那一刻开始
...everything was about the baby.
一切都是关于他这个宝宝
"Don't wake the baby. Don't tease the baby. Don't paint the baby."
不要吵醒宝宝 不要欺负宝宝 不要在宝宝身上涂鸦
Then when he starts growing up, it gets worse.
而且他长大的时候 事情变得更糟了
Everything he does, I get blamed for.
他干的一切 最后都怪到我头上来
He wakes up one morning with no hair and one eyebrow, it's my fault.
他早上醒来 没有了头发和一边的眉毛 是我的错!
They find him tied to a street lamp...
他们发现 他被绑在威莎大道的路灯上时
...and big surprise, everybody's looking at me.
真惊奇啊 所有人都看着我
Charlie, you need to stop resenting your brother just for being born.
查理 你不能怪你弟弟 就因为他被生了下来
Hey, I don't resent him for being born...
我没有怪他被生了下来
...but he abused the privilege.
但是他滥用了特权
Even now, with you guys.
即使现在我和你们在一起
I jumped through hoops to get into this group.
我可是付出了很多努力才加入的
I had to be recommended, then I had to get to know you guys.
我必须要被推荐 我还要慢慢的了解你们
Now Alan thinks he can waltz right in because he's my little brother?
但是艾伦认为他可以直接进来 就因为他是我的弟弟?
It's not fair.
这不公平!
Let me tell you something about fair.
让我来告诉你几句 关于"公平"的老话
What?
怎么?
Charlie, you know in your heart the right thing to do.
查理 其实你心里知道该怎么做
Fine. You want him so bad, I'll get him.
随便 如果你们真的这么想要他来 我去叫他
You know, Sean never speaks about his siblings.
你们知道吗 肖恩从来不提他的兄弟姐妹
All right, back off, Mary Poppins.
滚开 老妖婆
You're working on my last nerve.
你在挑战我的忍♥耐的极限
Believe me, Alan, I understand how hurtful it is to be rejected by Charlie.
相信我艾伦 我知道被查理拒绝是多么的痛苦
And I found that the only way to get through it is to just love him more.
但是我发现唯一解脱的方法 只有给他更多的爱
That, and every so often, sneak into his bedroom and try on his underwear.
之外 还有时不时地偷偷 摸进他的卧室偷偷试穿他的内衣
Helpful tip.
非常有用的心得
Hello.
你好?
Oh, hello, Charlie. Yeah, listen. I've been thinking.
你好 查理 听着 我一直都在想
Why don't you take a Beano and come back to the house and join the group.
你为什么不吃粒健胃消食片 回来和我们一起
Oh, really? What changed your mind?
是吗 是什么让你改变了主意?
I had a small stroke. What difference does it make? Get your ass back here.
我轻度中风 这不重要 你快滚回来就行了
Well, did it occur to you that I might be already otherwise engaged?
你有没有想过 也许我现在有别的事了呢?
No. Well, I am.
没 那我告诉你我有
It would be inconvenient for me to return right now.
而且现在去你那边还有点不方便呢
Why? Where are you?
为什么? 你在哪里?
Where am I? Well, that's none of your business.
我在哪里不关你的事
Are you in the garage?
你在车♥库♥里?
Oh, please. What on earth would I be doing in the garage?
拜托 我在车♥库♥里干什么?
Cut it out, Rose.
罗丝 不要这样!
You're being silly, Alan. Charlie is reaching out to you.
别傻了 艾伦 查理对你伸出了双手
Yeah, right. Last time he reached out...
切 上一次他伸出双手的时候
...I wound up tied to a street lamp on Wilshire Boulevard.
我被绑在了威莎大道的路灯上
All right. Are you gonna come back inside...
好吧 是你自己进去
...or do I have to drag you in by your big, flappy monkey ears?
还是我拧着你的 大猴子耳朵拖进去?
Listen to him, Alan. He's begging.
你听啊 艾伦 他在求你!
No, thank you, Charlie. I am quite happy chatting out here with Rose.
不用了 查理 我和罗丝聊得很开心
Okay. I tried to be the loving brother, you sulky little weasel.
好吧 我试过做个好哥哥了 你这个不知好歹的东西
That really wasn't necessary, Alan.
你不该这样的 艾伦
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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