好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E07
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:07 p.m.
Let me tell you something.
我跟你说吧
Larry was nothing when I met him.
我刚遇到拉瑞的时候 他什么都不是
He was working at some kosher slaughterhouse out in Fontana...
他在芳塔纳的 某个犹太人的屠宰场工作
before they fired him for being mean to the cattle.
直到他因为对牛不好而被解雇了
What?
啥?
The Jewish laws dictate that the animals have to be treated kindly...
犹太人的法律规定
before they get whacked.
动物在被屠宰前 必须受到良好对待
Larry would taunt them. "Hey, hamburger, guess what's gonna happen to you."
拉瑞会嘲弄它们 "牛肉饼 猜猜谁要来抓你们了"
Anyway, I picked him up off his sorry, unemployed ass.
不管怎样 我让他这个无业游民振作起来
I gave him hair plugs, contact lenses, teeth.
我给他理发 配隐形眼镜 还有牙齿!
The bastard dumped me for this tiny, little Korean manicurist...
混帐 他为了那个 又矮又小的韩国修甲师甩了我
who huffs nail-polish remover between appointments.
那死女人修指甲还总就地喊价
Well, you give a guy hair and teeth, he's bound to hook up with trash.
你给他理发和配牙齿 他却非要跟着垃圾混
No, she was pretty hot.
她确实很性感
She had a spray-on tan, Botox up the yin-yang.
喷着古铜色的肌肤 肉毒杆菌无处不打
Couldn't tell if she was 20 or 60.
都说不准是20岁还是60岁
Daisy! In here!
黛西 在这
What the hell are you doing?
你在干什么!
Relax. It's not what you think.
别那么紧张 不是你想的那样
We're just having a drink.
我们只是喝点小酒
Good idea.
好主意
You listen to me.
听我说 黛西
Just because I got us this job...
虽然是我给你介绍这工作
doesn't mean I'm cooking by myself.
但这不代表我得一个人 在厨房♥里忙活所有的事情
I'm coming down there. And don't act like you're doing me some big favor.
我会下去的 别说得好像你帮了我一个大忙
Oh, excuse me
我真是抱歉啊
for trying to help my broke, homeless, baby sister.
居然妄想帮助我那 一无所有 无家可归的小妹妹
I'm not homeless. I have a home. I just don't know where it's parked.
我不是无家可归 我有家 我只是不知道它停在哪
I wouldn't be broke if you'd have paid me my share of Mama's estate.
如果你把妈妈留下的 属于我的那分财产给我 我才不会一无所有
What estate?
什么财产
It was a shoebox full of corn pads, used lottery tickets and insulin.
那个鞋盒子 里面全是鸡眼膏药 过期彩票和胰岛素
It's the first I'm hearing about the insulin.
你以前从没说过里面有胰岛素!
Excuse me, but shouldn't we be, you know...
打扰一下 我们是不是...
cooking something for my mother's party?
该去为我妈妈的聚会做点吃的?
Hang on, Charlie.
等下 查理
You know, I am sick of you
你知道吗 我受够了你的疑神疑鬼
insinuating that I stole all that crap Mama left me.
以为所有老妈 留给我的东西都是我偷的
She didn't leave it to you.
她才不是留给你的
You were just the first one back after she flatlined.
你只是在她挂了以后 第一个到家的人
Oh, and where were you? At some ashram in Oregon?
那你在哪呢 俄勒冈州的某个印度教修行处所?
I was learning from my guru how to channel my spirit guide.
我在向我的宗教老师学习 如何和我的灵魂向导交流
Oh, please. You were humping a defrocked priest in the woods.
拜托 你是在跟某个 被解除僧职的僧人在森林里乱搞
How about stuffed mushrooms? Everybody loves those.
做"冬瓜菇盒"怎样 大家都爱吃
You know, that's your problem your whole life.
这就是你的问题 你这一生... 黛西
You chase after losers,
都在追逐这些失败者
take care of them, fix them up...
你照顾他们 让他们振作
and then they hop on the first manicurist out of town.
然后他们就跟着乡下的修甲师跑了
You're jealous because I've had love in my life.
你只是在嫉妒 波塔 因为我这一生中曾爱过
Yeah? You know what you got in your life now?
是的 你知道你在 这一生中得到了什么吗
Squat.
一无所获
No husband, no one to do your nails,
没有丈夫 没人给你做指甲
and blocks where your house used to be.
你房♥子曾在的地方也空无一物
I swear to God.
我对天发誓 波塔
One more word and I'm gonna knock you on your keister!
再多说一句 我就要狠踹你的屁♥股♥
Okay, okay, there's no reason... Squat!
好了好了 这必要 ... 一无所获
That's it! Whoa, whoa, no!
别这样 别这样
No, whoa! Stop! Berta!
快停下
Berta!
波塔
Give me the rolling pin.
把那个擀面杖给我
Is there a special place you'd like me to put it?
你是想让我 把它放进某个特殊地方吗
I don't know what else you want from me. I took you in.
我不知道你还想要我做什么 黛西 我收留了你
Gunther's in the garage, so you can have the couch.
冈瑟尔睡在车♥库♥ 这样你就能睡沙发了
You spoil that dog.
你溺爱那只狗
Anyway, I'm staying at a motel tonight.
算了 我今晚住在汽车旅馆好了
Good idea. Maybe you'll meet your next husband on the walk there.
好主意 也许在半路上 能碰到你下一个老公
Can I have one of these?
我可以吃个吗?
No.
可以 不可以
I am just trying to be a good sister.
我只是想做个好姐姐
No, you're trying to make me feel like crap. It's what you always do.
你只是想让我觉得自己很没用 你就是这种人!
So I can eat this?
那我可以吃这个吗
No.
可以 不可以
Let him have one.
就让他吃个虾吧
You don't know this kid. He never stops at one. He eats like a refugee.
你不了解这孩子 他会一直不停的要 就像个难民一样
Eat it. Drop it.
吃吧 放下
Hey, how's it going?
进展如何?
Not good.
不咋地
Nice move, Tinkerbell.
真不错啊 蠢货 (Tinkerbell:小叮当/Tinker:笨拙的工人)
Shut your hole and help me pick this up.
把你的狗嘴闭上 帮我捡起来
- You pick it up. I'm going outside to meditate.
你自己捡 我要到外面去冥想
What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on.
怎么回事 我来告诉你怎么回事
You wanted that clown to be nice to his mother.
你想要那小破孩对他妈妈好点
But did you think to say to him, "Clown, be nice to your mother"?
你就对他说 "嗨 小破孩 对你妈妈好点"
No,
不 现在可好
we had to throw a big party for our mother...
我们得为我们老妈举办个聚会
catered by the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.
由那2位伟大的摔跤女士承办
That's it. I can't work like this.
够了 我不能再这么工作了
Well, you have to, Berta. We've got 50 people coming in a couple of hours.
你不能走 波塔 几个小时后 我们有五十个人来这呢
Don't tell me. Tell her. Fine.
别和我说 去和她说 不好意思
Watch this.
看着吧
Hey! I'm meditating here!
我正在冥想呢
Jake, let's go pick up Grandma. Charlie, you're in charge.
出来 杰克 我们去接你奶奶 查理 你负责这里
The hell I am.
该死的 我已经在负责了
Why pick her up?
为什么我们要去接她
Grandma likes to drink. When grownups drink, they don't drive.
因为奶奶喜欢喝酒 大人们喝了酒就不能开车
Good thing Uncle Charlie lives here.
查理叔叔把我们留在这 真是个明智的决定 (他老喝酒)
So, good luck. I'll see you tomorrow.
祝你好运 明天见
No, wait. Berta, you can't leave.
别这样 等等 波塔 你不能走
Don't worry. Your deposit's fully refundable in fishing tackle or live bait.
别担心 你可以得到 4个可退货的钓鱼用具或活鱼饵
I don't want a refund.
我不想要退货赔偿
I want you to make up with Daisy...
我想你和黛西一起做吃的
so when my mother gets here,
这样当我妈妈过来的时候
she'll have something to eat besides my soul.
就有除了我灵魂之外的东西可享用
Make up with her? For what?
和她一起做? 为什么?
Trying to help her?
试图帮助她?
Trying to keep her from making the same stupid mistake again?
让她对那些愚蠢的错误执迷不悟?
Yeah, sure, fine, whatever. Just do it!
对 是的 管他呢 去做就对了!
No, I'm done with her. I quit.
不 我和她完了 我要走了
Berta... Berta, you can't quit being related to somebody.
波塔 波塔 你不可能和某人断绝关系的
Believe me, I've tried.
相信我吧 我试过的
She is a spoiled, little princess...
她是个受溺爱的小公主
who doesn't know when somebody's trying to help.
她一点都不知道别人想要帮她
And you know what else? Hold on, hold on.
你知道吗 还有 打住 打住
I'm still trying to wrap my brain around "little princess."
我还在让我的脑袋 转动链接到
Ever since Mom spit her out, she got everything she wanted.
打从妈妈把她生来 她要风得风要雨得雨
"We don't need to fix Berta's teeth, Daisy needs singing lessons."
我们不需要调整波塔的牙齿 黛西想要上歌♥唱课!
"Why spend money on a prom dress for Berta...
为什么要花钱给波塔买♥♥舞会礼服 黛西想要买♥♥舞鞋!
when Daisy needs tap shoes?" - That's rough, but...
是的 这很不好 但是...
"Who cares if Berta needs her spine straightened?" "Daisy wants a nose job!"
谁管波塔需要脊椎矫正啊 黛西想要做鼻子!
What if you went ahead and made a couple dozen of those little egg rolls?
不如你先去做点小蛋卷吧
"So what if Berta's got an extra big toe?"
波塔多长了个大拇指又怎样!
Mom?
妈妈
Oh, hello, boys.
你们好 孩子们
Why aren't you dressed? We came to pick you up.
你怎么还没有换好衣服 我们过来接你去聚会的
So you can drink.
你可以安心喝 (不用担心开车)
Oh, yes, well, I've decided to pass on the party.
对 我决定不去聚会了
What? You can't pass.
什么 你不能不去聚会
We've got people coming, decorations, caterers.
我们已经邀请了人来 装饰弄好了 承办宴会的也来了
And that's how you're dressed?
那你就穿成这样?
Beats the hell out of a bathrobe.
总比睡袍好多了吧
Why don't you wanna go to your party?
你干吗不想去你的聚会?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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