好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E20
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:09 p.m.
...and he had all the left sleeves hemmed.
所以他把左袖子都封口了
Those were expensive clothes, Berta.
那些都是很贵的衣服 波塔
Wanna take it out in trade, stud?
还想把它们拿去卖♥♥点啥吗 种马
Because this back brace snaps off with the flick of a wrist.
手腕只要轻轻一用力 后撑背板就应声折断
Okay, okay, that's the last straw.
好吧 我真是受不了了
You have abused my good nature for too long,
你践踏我的好脾气已经很久了
and I am putting my foot down.
现在我要开始反抗了
Well, you let me know how that works out for you.
是吗 那等开始了记得通知我一声
I guess we know who's in charge around here.
我想我们知道这里谁做主了
If I want your opinion, I'll ask your ex-wife.
嘿 要是需要你的意见 我会问你前妻的
Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Well, if I want your opinion...
哦 是吗 是吗 要是我想要你的意见
...I'll ask one of the dozens of women you have meaningless casual sex with.
我会询问你众多的一♥夜♥情♥人之一的
Oh, ouch.
哇 真疼啊
Hey, Uncle Charlie? What?
查理叔叔 什么
I love you. What did you do, Jake?
我爱你 你做了什么 杰克
I love you too, Dad.
我也爱你 爸爸
What did he do? How am I supposed to know?
他做了什么 艾伦 我怎么会知道
Well, he's your knuckleheaded son.
他可是你蠢笨无知的儿子
He's my knuckleheaded son now,
他现在是我蠢笨无知的儿子了?
but when you're trawling for tail...
但当你在"家得宝"泡妹的时候
...at The Home Depot, he's your slow but adorable nephew.
他就是你迟钝但无比可爱的侄子
I might as well get one perk out of having you sponge off me.
你的话语让我疼得就象被海绵猛打
Sponge? Sponge? Oh, that's a good idea.
海绵 海绵? 这倒是个好主意
Well, let me tell you something.
那好 让我来告诉你
Take away your fancy house, your fancy car...
除了你的靓车豪♥宅♥
...your women, and what have you got?
和你的那些女人 你还有什么?
A better-Iooking version of you.
长的比你帅!
Have I mentioned how much I hate you?
我有没有说过我多恨你
Have I mentioned how much I hate you?
我有没有说过我多恨你
Don't copy me. Don't copy me.
不要学我 不要学我
You're an idiot. You're an idiot.
你是个傻瓜 你是个傻瓜
I'm warning you, Charlie. I'm warning you, Charlie.
我警告你 查理 我警告你 查理
How childish.
真是孩子气
Would you mind toasting my buns, please?
能帮我烤一下面包吗
To your buns.
敬你的屁♥股♥ (buns双译)
You sicken me.
真让我恶心
Hey.
你好
Hey, Rose. What's going on?
你好 罗斯 发生什么事了
Just making lunch.
只是在做午饭
Wanna join us? Maybe some other time.
要一起吃吗 也许换个时间吧
A little garlic butter is also a good way to jazz up a hamburger bun.
放一点蒜油 也是给汉堡面包调料的好办法
He's lucky all I'm doing is spitting.
我只在上面吐口水 算他幸运
It doesn't take a master's in behavioral psychology, which I happen to have...
知道吗 无需成为行为心理学硕士 就能
...to see that you and you brother have unresolved fraternal conflicts.
看出你们的不合 虽然我正好是
Gee, you think?
天那 你真这么觉得?
I think it might be therapeutic for you two...
是啊 而且我觉得你和某人坐下来
...to sit down with someone and explore those conflicts.
好好探讨下这些矛盾将会有很大帮助
You mean you? Well, I could refer you...
你是指你吗 我更想给你推荐
...to the woman I talk to, but she doesn't exist.
和我谈的女人 但是她不存在
So, yeah. Me.
所以 是的 是我
Let's see. Couples counseling for me and Alan with you as the therapist.
让我想想 让你对我和艾伦做面对面治疗
Why don't we just drop acid, run out into the ocean...
那还不如让我们磕点药 跳进海里
...and pretend we're dolphins?
假装自己是海豚呢
You're exhibiting a lot of hostility, Charlie.
你充满了敌意 查理
You know what we psychologists call that?
你知道我们心理学家怎么称呼它吗
What? Hostility.
什么? 敌意
Why would we need more than one word for it?
一个词就够用啦
Rose, I appreciate your concern, but Alan and I don't need therapy.
罗斯 感谢你的关心 但艾伦和我不需要治疗
Everything will work itself out.
一切都能解决的
I'm just saying, I think it would really help you guys...
我是说只要你们俩坐下来谈谈心
...if you could sit down and share your feelings.
会对你们俩很有帮助的
We're fine, Rose.
我们好的很 罗斯
Choke on it, princess. Bite me, bitch.
噎死吧 公主 咬我啊 烂人
I think he may have anticipated that.
我想他已经预测到这步了
How Freudian. It's not Freudian.
典型的弗洛伊德学说啊 这才不是弗洛伊德学说
But mine's bigger.
我的要大些
It's a banana, you moron.
只是个香蕉 你这蠢货
It's not just about you and Charlie, you know.
这不只是你和查理的问题 知道吗
There's that innocent little moppet to consider.
还有那个无辜的小宝宝要考虑
Moppet?
小宝宝?
I'm baking air biscuits. Get them while they're hot.
精心制♥作♥的臭气点心 趁热享用吧
He may not be able to process it now...
他也许现在还没意识到...
...but he picks up on all the negative emotion around here.
但他得承受这环境里所有的负面情绪
Save yourselves, run for your lives!
为了生存 加油跑啊!
Okay, well, if you can get Charlie to agree, I'll do it.
好吧 要是你征得查理的同意的话 我会做的
Good. And as a rule...
很好 通常情况下...
...when says they're bad, take his word for it.
要是他说这不好 你最好接受他的意见
Oh, please, Alan. I grew up with two older brothers and...
相信我吧 艾伦 我和两个哥哥一起长大...
Oh, my God!
噢 我的天啊
The only reason I let him live here is because of Jake.
我让他住在这里唯一的原因是杰克
Go on.
继续
He was a pain in the ass when we were kids...
他打小就是个刺儿头
...and now he's blossomed into a three-fingered prostate exam.
现在更变本加厉成为疑难杂症
Have you considered the possibility that since you're the older brother...
你有没有想过这种可能性 既然你是他哥哥
...you harbor resentment towards him...
你会不会因为你妈妈把所有的爱和注意力都放在了他身上
...for usurping Mommy's love and attention?
而对他心怀有憎恨?
I'm sorry, have you met my mother?
对不起 你见过我妈妈吗
Okay, so that's a no.
好吧 那么不是
Please don't try to psychoanalyze me.
别给我做心理分♥析♥
Oh, Charlie. Psychoanalysis takes years.
查理 心理分♥析♥要花好几年时间呢
I'm just messing around inside your head.
我只是在你的大脑里闲逛一下
Have you ever considered the possibility...
你有没有想过这种可能性
...that you are the primary male role model in Alan's life?
你是艾伦生命中首要的男性榜样
And if his behavior is making you mad, he learned it from you.
如果他的行为让你愤怒 他都是从学你那学到的
So, in fact, you are making you mad.
所以实际上是 你自己让自己愤怒
That's nuts.
你疯了
Just sit with it for a moment. I think it's a pretty good insight.
就坐着好好想想 我觉得这是个很不错的见解
No, I'm gonna stick with nuts.
不 我还是觉得你疯了
And I don't wanna continue this.
我不想继续谈下去了
Do you feel you can't be totally honest with me...
你是不是觉得因为我们曾有过一♥夜♥情♥
...since we slept together? -No.
而无法对我坦诚? 不是的
Why can't you be totally honest?
那你为什么不能对我坦诚呢
I can be totally honest with you. Really?
我能对你坦诚! 真的
How much did you like having sex with me?
你有多喜欢和我做♥爱♥
Let's go talk to Alan.
我们去和艾伦谈吧
And they wouldn't give me a license.
他们居然不给我执照!
All right. Let the healing begin, you pinhead.
好吧 我们开始治疗 你这针眼头
Can we refrain from counterproductive name-calling?
我们能不能停止 这毫无意义的叫绰号♥行为吗
Such big words from such a little head.
那么小的脑袋里 居然蹦出来那么大的词
Charlie, please sit down.
查理 请坐下
Okay. Here are the ground rules.
好了 这是基本规则
There will be no name-calling and no interrupting.
不能取绰号♥ 不能打岔
The purpose of this is to air our feelings without judgment.
这样做的目的是 不被影响的把我们的想法表达出来
Alan, why don't you start? Why does he start?
艾伦 你先开始吧 为什么他先开始
Would you like to start? No.
你想先开始吗 不
Then shut up.
那就闭嘴
Alan, you'll go first.
艾伦 你先来
And begin with the phrase, "I feel Charlie is 'blank.'"
以这样的话开头 "我觉得查理..."
I don't think I can top that.
我想我没法那样开头
Okay, I feel like Charlie is...
好的 我觉得查理
...ashamed to have me as a brother.
认为有我这个弟弟是一个耻辱
Well, there you go. Are we done?
说的很好 我们结束了吗
Charlie, you'll get your turn.
查理 会轮到你的
When was the first time you felt that way, Alan?
艾伦 你第一次这样想是什么时候
I guess on the playground.
我想是在操场上
The first day of kindergarten, he told his friends...
那是我第一天上幼儿园 他告诉他所有的朋友...
...that I was a shaved monkey our mom won in a poker game.
我是一只妈妈打扑克 赢回来的刮了毛的猴子
Charlie, why do you think you might have said something like that?
查理 你认为你为什么会说出那样的话呢
Well, I guess deep down...
我想在我内心深处...
...I always wanted a shaved monkey.
我一直想要只刮了毛的猴子
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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