好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E24
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:10 p.m.
That was very nice, Mindy.
很好
Jake, we're ready to hear your report.
杰克 该你念作文了
Jake? Just a sec.
杰克? 等一下
Now, Jake.
快点 杰克
Okay, I'm finished.
完工了
Does spelling and grammar count? It's an oral report, Jake.
拼写和语法算分吗 这是口头报告 杰克
Oh, so it's like an oral thermometer.
就像是口头温度计
Right.
是的
Good thing it's not a rectal report.
好在不是直肠报告
Just read it. Okay.
好好念 好吧
"My Weekend, by Jake Harper.
"我的周末 作者杰克·哈勃
Grade five, Mrs. Flanigan's class.
五年级 弗莱根夫人的班级
Woodward Avenue Elementary School, located on Woodward Avenue."
位于伍德沃街的伍德沃街小学"
I'm not counting words.
我不算字数的
Oh, good.
哦 那就好
"My weekend starts on Friday, when my mom takes me to my dad's house.
我的周末从每周五我妈妈把我送到我爸爸家开始
Which is actually my Uncle Charlie's house.
实际上那是我查理叔叔的家
Who is my dad's brother, making him my uncle.
他是我老爸的哥哥
His name is Charlie, which is why I call him my Uncle Charlie."
他的名字叫查理 这也是我为什么叫查理叔叔
Anyway...
总之
"Even though my parents are divorced, they still get along. "
虽然我的父母离婚了 但是他们还是相处得很好
Hey, buddy. Hey, Dad.
好啊 伙计 好啊 老爸
How was your week? Just fine.
这周好吗? 很好
Bye, honey. Bye, Mom.
再见 宝贝 再见 妈
Thanks for bringing him. Bite me. What the hell...
谢谢你把他送过来 来你个头啊
...went on last weekend? -What are you talking about?
上周末到底怎么回事? -你在说什么呢?
When I brought him home Sunday night and served him dinner...
上周日我把他带回家吃晚饭时
...he tipped me with a $25 chip from Caesars Palace...
他给了我25美元凯撒宫赌场的筹码作为小费
...and told me I had a nice rack.
然后还对我说胸部不错
Well, Judith...
哦 茱迪丝
...you do.
你胸部的确有料
That's not the point.
问题不在这儿
Where'd he get the chip? Where is he learning this behavior?
他哪儿来的筹码? 又是哪儿学的这些怪招?
Hey, Judith.
嘿 茱迪丝
Looking good.
你看起来不错
Run away, run away.
逃啊 逃啊
Did you give my son a $25 chip?
你是不是给了我儿子一个25美元的筹码
No, I did not give him a $25 chip. Happy?
不 我才没有给他呢 满意了吧?
He won it, fair and square.
是他赢的 光明正大赢的
You couldn't run away.
这下你可逃不了了
I don't care what you do on weekdays.
我不管你平时都干些什么
But on weekends, remember you are a role model for an 11-year-old boy.
但是你得记住 在周末你得给一个11岁男孩做好榜样
Oh, that's a bad idea. Who thought of that?
哦 这主意可不妙
I'm warning you.
我警告你 艾伦
Things had better change or there will be consequences.
你最好注意你的行为 否则会有很严重的后果
Legal consequences. Got it?
法律上后果 明白了?
Got it. Goodbye.
明白了 再见
"There will be serious consequences.
否则会有很严重的后果
Legal consequences."
法律上的后果
"I don't care what you do during the week.
我不管你平时都干些什么
But on the weekends, you're a role model."
但是到了周末 你得是个好榜样
I enjoy talking this way.
我还挺喜欢用这个腔调来说话
As do I.
我也是
"Friday night, I stayed up late.
周五晚上 我熬得很晚
I watched all three Austin Power movies with my dad.
和老爸一起把三部"王牌大贱谍"都看完了
We ate Chinese food and Buffalo wings.
我们吃了中国菜和水牛城鸡翅
Dad fell asleep during The Spy Who Shagged Me...
老爸在看"王牌大贱谍"第二部时睡着了
...which, in my opinion, is the strongest of the trilogy.
可在我看来 这部是三部曲中最棒的
By the way, 'shag' means 'sex' in England."
顺便说一句 "贱"在英国就是性的意思
Just read, Jake.
好好念 杰克
That was a footnote.
那是个注释
Read. Okay.
念 好吧
"I woke up later with a stomachache...
后来我因为肚子痛醒了
...but felt better after I went to the bathroom."
到可上过了厕所之后感觉就好多了
If you know what I mean.
如果你们知道我指的是什么的话
Jake. What? It's not like I said:
杰克 怎么了? 我又没说
"I took a dump."
我去大号♥
"Anyway, I tried to go back to sleep but I couldn 't.
总之 我想继续睡 但却睡不着了
Probably because I was thirsty.
可能是因为渴了
So I went into the kitchen for what Uncle Charlie calls a 'virgin screwdriver.
于是我到厨房♥去喝我查理叔叔所称的处♥女♥螺丝刀
But really it's just a glass of orange juice.
其实只是一种很棒的桔汁
It was late, so I decided to skip the glass.
那时很晚了 所以我决定不用杯子
Jake?
杰克?
Hang on.
等一下
That one hurt a little.
呵 还有点痛了
What you doing? Having a virgin screwdriver.
你在干什么了 我喝处♥女♥螺丝刀
Want some? No, thanks. I'm good.
你要点吗? 不用 谢谢 我不渴
What are you doing? Watching TV.
你在干什么? 看电视
Why isn't it on?
那为什么电视没开?
Because I've seen this one already.
因为这部我以前看过
Hey, you wanna hear a funny joke? Sure.
你想听听笑话吗? 当然
Why did the blond stare at the juice carton?
为什么金发美女盯着果汁包装盒看?
I don't know. Why?
我不知道 为什么?
"Cause the carton said 'concentrate.'"
因为盒子上说 集中注意(浓缩型)
That's okay. I didn't get it either.
没关系 我也没搞懂哪儿好笑
"The next morning I was pretty hungry because..."
第二天早上 我感觉很饿
I think you all know why.
我估计你们知道原因
"So I had a bowl of cereal with my dad, and we made plans for the day. "
于是我和我老爸一人吃了碗麦片 讨论今天干什么
You wanna go to the museum? No. I wanna watch TV.
你想去博物馆吗 我想看电视
It's pretty windy out there. Wanna fly a kite?
外面有风 想去放风筝吗?
No. I wanna watch TV.
我想看电视
Hiking? TV.
远足? 电视
I'll get it. TV.
我去开 电视
"We decided to watch TV."
我们最终决定了看电视
Hello. Is your name Harper?
你好 你姓哈勃吗?
Yes. Then this is for you.
是的 那这就是你应得的
Why'd you do that? Why did you sleep with my wife?
你为什么要这样做? 你为什么要睡我老婆
Charlie.
查理
Busy.
忙着了
I don't care. Open the door.
我不管 开门
I've got company. I know.
我有客人了 我知道
And her husband's downstairs.
并且她丈夫就在楼下
Really?
真的吗?
You're married? Yeah.
你结婚了? 是啊
I'm not in.
我不在家
You have to come and deal with him.
你必须得下来处理这件事
No, I don't. Yes, you do.
不 我不 不 你必须
I disagree.
我不同意
It's not up for debate. He knows you're here.
这没什么可争的 他知道你就在楼上
Oh, man, I hate when this happens.
老天 我讨厌这种事发生
This happens a lot?
这种事经常发生?
Not a lot, but enough to be a drag.
不多 但每次都很麻烦
Charlie, are you coming back to bed?
查理 你还回床上来吗?
Yes. Yes? No "yes."
要的 你还要? 不能再要了
There is an angry husband in your living room.
她那怒气冲冠的老公就在你
How angry?
他有多愤怒?
Is he packing? What?
带家伙了吗? 什么
Does he have a weapon? l... He has a stick.
他带武器了吗 是的 有根拐杖
That's not good. I could lose an eye.
这可不好 我可能会瞎一只眼
Charlie! Come on. Fine, I'll wrap it up here.
查理! 好的 我马上搞定
Give me 20 minutes. Oh, no.
给我20分钟 不行
A better idea. Wrap it up now.
这个主意更好 现在搞定
Ten minutes? Now.
10分钟? 现在
We got five minutes.
我们还有5分钟
"The weekend was going great, but then something really bad happened. "
周末一开始还不错 但是后来却大事不妙
Hey. Hello.
嘿 你好
Who are you? I'm Norman.
你是谁 我是诺曼
I'm Jake. Have you seen my Game Boy?
我是杰克 你看见我的掌上游戏机了吗?
No. Have you seen my wife?
没有 你看见我的老婆了吗?
No. Well, if you see it, let me know.
没有 如果你看到了 吱我一声
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表