好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E03
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:06 p.m.
I don't know what he did, Charlie.
我不知道他做了什么 查理
The teacher called and told me to come get him.
老师只是叫我来接他
I want it on the record
我得先报备下
that if the kid was running...
要是他在露天看台下玩21点
...a blackjack game under bleachers he didn't get it from me.
他不一定跟我学的
What? I said, he didn't.
怎么了 我说了他不是
Well, I can assure you he did not
我向你保证他这样粗鲁的行为
learn that kind of crass behavior from me.
绝对不是找我学的
Maybe I should wait in the hall.
我还是在走廊等好了
Hold on. What is he doing here?
等下 他来这干吗
Well, my car is in the shop, and Charlie was nice enough to give me a ride.
我的车拿去修了 查理很好心的载我过来
No, Charlie was nice enough to call you a cab, but you wouldn't take it.
不是 查理好心的帮你打的 但你就是不坐
So, what's going on?
怎么了?
Your son gave his teacher the bird.
你儿子向老师比中指
Okay, I want it on the record
好了 我得再报备一下
that he didn't necessarily...
他不一定是...
Charlie, just leave it alone. What exactly happened?
查理 让我来和她谈 到底是怎么回事?
I was writing on the board and he thought I couldn't see him.
当时我正在写黑板 他还以为我看不到呢
Is this true?
这是真的吗?
Yeah, I really thought she couldn't see.
是啊 我真的以为她看不到我
I'm afraid this kind of behavior is grounds for suspension.
我很抱歉 这样的行为将会被暂时停学
Maybe we can catch a matinee. Yeah.
那我们正好可以去看下午场电影
Jake, why did you flip Miss Pasternak off?
杰克 你中指干吗对着帕斯奈特老师比?
Excuse me. We don't end our sentences with prepositions.
抱歉 一个句子不应该用介词结尾
We say,
而应该说
"Why did you flip off Miss Pasternak?"
你干吗要对帕斯奈特老师比中指?
I think that answers your question.
我知道你为什么那样做了
Jake, why did you flip off Miss Pasternak?
杰克 你干吗要对帕斯奈特老师比中指?
Because she picks on me.
因为她老找我茬
Jake, I don't treat you
杰克 我对待你们
any differently than any of the other students.
可是人人平等没有大小眼
Yeah, right. Shut up.
得了吧 别说了
You know, I'd like to talk to your parents alone.
好了 我现在想和你家长单独谈谈
Come on, Jake.
走吧 杰克
What, I don't even get to tell my side?
我还没来得及表明我的立场
Buddy, you're 11.
老兄 你才11岁
You have no side.
你根本就没什么立场
This isn't my fault. I was provoked.
不是我的错 是她先挑衅我
You were provoked?
她挑衅你?
Yeah, it means...
是的 挑衅的意思是...
I know what it means.
我当然知道是什么意思
And it doesn't matter. What you need to do now is apologize.
这不重要 你现在要做的就是道歉
But I'm not sorry.
但我并不觉得内疚
You don't have to be sorry.
你没有必要觉得内疚
Just say it and look it.
只要道歉就好
You've got those big, cute kid eyes.
看看你那双水汪汪的大眼睛
Use them.
用上他们
That would be lying. That's your line in the sand?
那就是在说谎 现在就是说谎的时候
You muttonhead, you just flipped off your teacher.
你这个猪头 谁让你向老师比中指
Yeah, but I was being honest. And look where it got you.
我是实话实说 那看看你现在的处境吧
I think I just lost my innocence.
看来我已经不再清♥纯♥了
He's really a very well-behaved boy...
他一向都很听话
...but he has had some problems dealing with our separation.
只是受我们离婚的影响
That's true.
你说的对
Although it wasn't so much a separation as a kicking out.
尽管那不像 被"扫地出门"之类的离婚
I sympathize, but if I gave special consideration to every child...
我同情你们 但要我照顾每个单亲小孩
...whose parents are going through divorce, I'd be getting the finger all day.
那每天都会有人向我比中指了
We're not saying he shouldn't be punished.
我们不是说不要惩罚他
He certainly should.
他当然应该受惩罚
But just let us try to handle it.
我们只是说让我们来处罚他
By "us" he means me. I always have to be the bad guy.
他说的我们通常是我 我总是演那个坏人
You're better at it than me.
因为你比"在下"更适合演坏人
Than I.
比"我"? (me/I主格宾格)
You are such an ass.
你真是个混♥蛋♥
Can we have a moment, please? I think that'd be a good idea.
能让我们单独聊会吗? 好主意
And it's, "May we have a moment, please?"
但应该说 允许我们单独聊会吗?
Stop it.
别冲动
Miss Pasternak. I'm sorry, we haven't officially met.
帕斯奈特老师 我还没有正式介绍我自己
I'm Jake's uncle, Charlie. Hello.
我是杰克的叔叔 查理 你好
And I am really sorry. This may not be my place...
而且我很抱歉 可能我不该说这个
...and if it's not, I am really sorry...
可我真的很抱歉
...but Jake has something he wants to say.
但是杰克有话要对你说
I am really sorry.
我真的很抱歉
And I'm really sorry too. Why are you sorry?
我也真的很抱歉 你抱歉什么?
The kid may have gotten the rude gesture from me.
可能是我没有注意到孩子在周围
I'm not used to being around children and, well, I am really sorry.
对他做了些错误示范 我真的很抱歉
Well, thank you. I appreciate it,
谢谢 我很欣赏
but it doesn't change what Jake did.
但这也改变不了杰克的所作所为
You're right. You're absolutely right.
你说的对 你说的太对了
Jake, go to the vending machine...
杰克 你去自动贩卖♥♥机给老师
...and get Miss Pasternak a peach Snapple and a bag of Skittles.
买♥♥瓶思拿多水蜜桃果汁 和一包彩虹糖
It is Miss Pasternak, right?
该称为帕斯奈特小姐 对吧?
Now, this one's called "Read Between the Lines."
这个手势叫做"体会字里行间"
You're giving the finger, but you've got plausible deniability.
你竖起了你的中指 但是可以随时否定
Cool. Like the Itchy Eye.
就像"挠眼睛"一样 (还是用中指)
Exactly. Now, this one's called "the Slow Crank."
没错 这个叫"慢慢搞"
Charlie.
查理
As you can see, it's effective but lacks deniability.
你看到了 这个很有效不过很容易被看穿
Dad, check it out. Balloon Finger.
老爸 看 "掌中吹♥萧♥"
Okay, that's enough.
好了 够了
Do we need to be teaching him more ways to flip people off?
我们真的需要 让孩子学会更多招式骂人吗?
Flip off people.
骂人招式 (介词不后置)
Charlie, do you realize
查理 你知道他今天
how close he came to being suspended today?
差一点就被暂时停学了吗
I do. And do you understand...
我知道
...how lucky we are
那你知道我们有多走运吗
Miss Pasternak decided to give him a chance?
帕斯奈特老师 答应再给我们一次机会
Lucky? Sure, why not. Let's call it luck.
走运? 好吧 就算是运气好吧
What does that mean?
你这话什么意思?
It means I'm too modest to call it skill.
我意思是这是门技巧 而我又太谦虚了
Hey, Dad. What?
老爸 干吗?
How come only one finger is the bad finger?
为什么只有竖中指是不好的?
I don't know, Jake.
我也不知道 杰克
This one's okay, right?
竖这根可以吧?
Right.
可以
Dad. What?
爸 干吗
Anything?
这个呢?
No.
没问题
I don't get it. Who decides?
搞不懂 谁规定的啊?
Uncle Charlie, I had a weird dream.
查理叔叔 我做了个怪梦
And it's getting weirder.
现在更诡异了
Hey, buddy. Why aren't you asleep?
老兄 你干吗不去睡觉?
I'm hoping I am.
我希望自己已经睡着了
Hello, Jake.
你好啊 杰克
Hello, Miss Pasternak.
你好 帕斯奈特老师
Listen, buddy, Miss Pasternak and I are kind of having a sleepover.
听着 老兄 帕斯奈特老师今晚在这借宿
Because we're like, you know, friends.
你知道... 像朋友那样的
No way.
不可能
Jake, I'm only your teacher from 8: 15 to 3:00.
杰克 上课的时候我是你的老师
After that I'm just a person like anybody else.
下了课 我就和其他人没两样了
This is more wrong than the time I saw Santa peeing at the mall.
这比上次看见 圣诞老人在商场小便更不道德
Okay, why don't we wrap up this after-school special
好了 我们为何不结束这课外节目
and call it a night.
先上♥床♥睡觉
Don't worry.
别担心 杰克
This won't change anything between us at school.
这并不会改变我们在学校的关系
So you're still gonna be mean to me?
那你还要对我很刻薄?
That's right. Same old junkyard dog.
没错了 还是个老怨妇
Come on, buddy. Get some sleep.
好了 老兄去睡觉吧
Oh, yeah. Like I'm gonna sleep now.
好吧 好像我现在很想睡似的
Do you think he'll be okay? Sure.
你认为他会没事吗? 当然了
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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