好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E01
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:04 p.m.
Yes, it was. You're my friend.
不 是该这样 你是我的朋友
And friends don't just abandon friends because something better comes along.
朋友不会因为 有更好的事情发生而舍弃对方
Then this might sting a bit.
我这么说可能会伤到你
I have something else to do and I'm pretty sure it's better.
我要去做其他事了 而且我非常确定是些更好的事
All right, I asked him nicely. He said no. Let's move on.
行了 我好声好气请他来 他却说不 我们继续吧
Coop, what's up with your fixation on women who resemble Tobey Maguire?
库伯 你还迷恋长得像 托比·马奎尔那样的女人吗?
I think I finally got over that one.
有趣的是 我总算是不再迷恋了
I went to see Spider-Man 2. Nothing.
我还去看了"蜘蛛侠2" 没啥了不起
Hi, everybody. Thanks for the invite.
大家好 谢谢你们邀请我
I know I'm the new guy.
我知道 我是个新人
So I'll hang back and try not to disrupt the flow.
我就不多说话了 尽量不打搅你们
So is there any protocols I need to know about?
有没有什么我该知道的规定?
Any customs, traditions, a talking stick?
比如传统? 习俗? 接话方式?
No, there's no talking stick.
没 没有什么接话方式
But there is a "shut the hell up" shoe.
但是有能让你闭上臭嘴的鞋子
Okey-doke. As you were.
你们继续
All right, I've got something I wanna share.
好了 我有些事情想分享
The panic attacks have come back, and I just don't understand it.
我的焦虑症又来了 我就不懂了
Everything is great. My career, my marriage.
所有的事情都进展的很好 我的职业 我的婚姻
I should be on cloud nine and instead of which...
一切应该都完美无缺了
...I've got this free-floating anxiety and feeling of impending doom.
但是却不是这样的 我总是时有时无的焦躁
And the diarrhea.
还有腹泻
Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that my panic attacks come with diarrhea.
不好意思 我的焦虑症包括了拉肚子
First the clammy hands, and then the nausea, and then the aforementioned...
最开始是手发抖 然后头晕想吐 最后就...
...you know. Sorry.
不好意思
I changed my mind. I want him gone.
我改变主意了 我想让他滚
Can we shave his head and fill his mouth with hair first?
我们能不能先把他的头发剃了 然后塞到他嘴里?
Let me tell you something about hair.
让我告诉你一些关于头发的老话
The clammy hands, that's how it starts.
手发抖了 就是这样开始的
Wait a minute. You can't just kick him out like that.
等等 你们不能就这样踢他出去
You didn't want him here in the first place.
是你最开始不想让他加入的
But I'm his brother. It's my right to reject him.
但是我是他哥哥 我有权利拒绝他
You guys wanted him. Now that he's here, cut him a little slack.
你们要他 他现在加入了 你们应该让着他一点
Can't you see? He doesn't fit in here.
你看不出来吗? 查理 他在这儿不合适
Of course not. He doesn't fit in anywhere.
当然不! 他在哪儿都不合适
He's a weird little guy who makes phone calls from the garage.
他只是个在车♥库♥里打电♥话♥的小男人
It's not his fault.
这不是他的错
His big brother didn't look after him, didn't teach him anything.
是他的哥哥没有看好他 没有教好他
I'm trying to make up for it with his son...
我正试着去挽救他的儿子
...but this annoying little ship has sailed.
但是他这块烦人的木头 已经成舟了
Thank you, Charlie. You can stop now.
谢谢你查理 但是你可以住嘴了
No, I got your back. I want this twerp in the group.
我来搞定 我要这蠢货留在这组里
A problem with that is a problem with me.
如果你们有问题的话 冲着我来!
Oh, now you've got my back?
现在你来帮我搞定了?
What? A little late, don't you think?
什么? 现在有点迟了 你不觉得吗?
Alan, I'm defending you.
什么? 我在帮你!
And I'm asking where you've been for the past 35 years.
那我要问问你 过去的35年里你去哪儿了?
Let me tell you what it was like growing up.
让我告诉你们和他 一起长大是什么样子的
Un-freaking-believable.
简直他妈的不敢相信!
What it was like to look up to... No, to worship someone...
你们知不知道 我当时是多么敬重 不 崇拜他
...who on two occasions tried to trade you for an underwater flashlight.
可他却把我拿去 交换一个防水手电筒 两次
It wasn't for keeps.
那也不是拿来收藏的
No, no, no. It's my turn now, Charlie.
不 现在该我说了! 查理
All I ever wanted was his approval, his friendship.
我只是想要他的认可 成为他的朋友
And all I ever got was my underwear yanked up to the base of my skull.
但是我唯一得到的只有被他把内♥裤♥拉起来套在我头上
And the sad part is that I looked forward to the wedgies...
更可悲的是 我甚至期望着被他拉内♥裤♥
...because it was the only form of love that I could get from him.
因为那是他给我的唯一的爱
That is sad, Charlie. It's terrible.
这的确是很可悲
Charlie, don't you think there's something you have to say to your brother?
查理 你不认为 你应该对你弟弟说些什么吗?
Come here, buddy.
兄弟 过来
Okay, buddy.
兄弟 哇!
Here's the gag
那些女孩有时会提起
In the words of some wag
在这个世界的某个地方
She loves my flag
她爱我的旗子
Rally round the flag
永远永远爱那旗子
Wow, Elvis, that was beautiful.
真棒!
But, you know, in all honesty...
但是你知道吗 说真的
...I really loved your earlier, you know, angrier stuff.
我更喜欢你之前那些愤怒点的歌♥
You know, "Pump It Up." Now, that was a song.
比如"打起精神来" 那种歌♥
I gave you that.
我怎么不知道?
Oh, and while we're on the subject, Sean...
还有说起这个 肖恩
...why don't you do funny stuff like you used to?
你为什么不像以前一样搞笑呢?
I mean, Fast Times ruled, man.
比如"夏令时"太棒了 (雷吉蒙特高中的夏令时 肖恩1982年作品)
Come on, do a little Spicoli for us.
来吧 做几个招牌动作
Guys, this isn't funny.
兄弟们! 这不好笑
Clammy hands. Nausea.
手开始出汗了 头晕想吐了
Guys?
兄弟们!
Hey, guys?
兄弟们!
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表