好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E09
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:08 p.m.
She must of dropped half her body weight in that last diaper.
她把一半体重拉在了上一块尿布上
What a good burp. Wasn't that a good burp, Charlie?
这个嗝打得多棒啊 查理 这个嗝很棒吧
Oh, yeah. Wait till you meet my nephew.
要是你碰到我侄子
He can belch the theme from Shaft.
你可以跟他一较高下
All right. Good night, sweetheart.
好吧 晚安 宝贝
Oh, there we go.
开始吧
Now, where were we?
我们进行到哪了?
You know, I'm a little tired. Aren't you tired?
其实 我有点累了 你累吗?
What's wrong? Nothing.
怎么了? 没什么
Was it the breastfeeding? Because in the restaurant, it turned you on.
是因为喂奶吗? 但在饭店里它让你兴奋了
I know, but there I wasn't on deck.
我知道 但那时却没有万事具备
So you don't wanna fool around?
那你是说不想玩了吗
It's not that. I'm looking at the sexiest woman in the world...
不是那样的 我看着世上最性感的女人
...and all I can see is a Thermos.
可到我脑子里就变成了热水瓶
Charlie, there are things you do with your penis that aren't exactly a turn-on.
查理 你的小♥弟♥弟♥ 也不只是为了做某事而存在
You mean the puppet show?
你是说那次"公开秀"吗?
I thought you loved The Amazing Adventures of Stretch Armstrong.
我以为你喜欢 那次与强壮手臂男的冒险经历
That's not what I meant. Now, come on. Come to mama.
我不是说那个 来吧 来妈妈这吧
Okay, time. "Come to mama" bums me a little.
好了 等下 "来妈妈这吧" 让我有点拘束
Can we make it "Come to Catholic schoolgirl"?
我们能说 来教会学♥生♥妹♥这儿吗?
Yes, Monsignor.
好吧 我的学长
Hallelujah.
哈利路亚
Here you go. Two sugars, no cream.
给你的 加了两块糖 没放奶油
Oh, perfect. And I don't mind saying, last night was none too shabby either.
好极了 这和我说昨晚"不是太差"大有不同吧
"Dear diary: Coffee perfect, sex none too shabby."
亲爱的日记：咖啡很棒 性 不是太差
You know what I mean.
你知道我的意思
I can't remember why we kept breaking up.
我都已经不记得为什么我们分手了
You can't? Well, I can. I was just being romantic.
你不记得了吗? 我记得 我只是想说得更浪漫些
What are you doing? Putting on my pants.
你在干吗? 穿裤子
You're leaving already?
你要走了吗?
No.
不是
So why are you putting on your pants, then?
那你干吗穿裤子?
I don't know. Did you wanna wear them?
我不知道 你要穿吗?
Forget it.
得了吧
Hey, I've gotta go home sooner or later.
我早晚都要回家的
Go home whenever you want. I can't leave...
想回去就回去吧 你这样的情绪
...when you're in this mood. -What mood?
我可不能走 -什么情绪
This mood.
这种情绪
Oh, just leave, Charlie. It's what you do best.
走就是了 查理 你最擅长做这个了
No, it's what I do after I do what I do best.
不是 这是我做了 最擅长的事之后做的事情
Oh, come on. I was just putting on my pants.
别这样 我只是穿上裤子嘛
You wanna spend the day with us? The whole day?
你想和我们共度这一天吗? 一整天吗?
Here are your shoes. Hang on a second.
你的鞋子! 等一下
Is this some hormonal thing because of the baby?
这是因为荷尔蒙的关系吗? 因为孩子
No, it's some kind of stupid thing because you're stupid.
不是 这是很蠢的关系 因为你蠢
Any time I don't behave the way you want, it's hormonal.
我每次不按照你想我去做的做 你就觉得是荷尔蒙在作怪
Not every time, but you gotta admit there is a pattern.
不是每次 但是你得承认是有这么个模式了
You know the pattern I see?
你知道我看到的是什么样的模式吗?
Every time things start going well for us, you find an excuse to run.
每次都进展的很好的时候 你却找个借口跑开
No, no, no. You push me away.
才不是呢 是你把我推开的
How? How do I push you away?
怎么会是我呢? 我怎么把你推开了?
Like this. You pick a fight over nothing and say I can't commit.
就像这样 你无理取闹 然后说我不能负责
You can't commit. Hey, I can commit.
你不能负责啊 我能负责
Oh, yeah? Prove it.
是吗? 证明给我看啊
Fine. I'll start right now.
好 我现在就开始
I'm gonna stay here all day.
我要一整天都呆着这里
Really? Really.
真的吗? 真的
We're talking a business day, right?
我们说的是工作日对吧?
Hey. How did it go with Lisa? I don't think it's gonna work out.
和丽莎怎么样了? 我觉得不太可能了
Really? Even with the little baby there to help smooth things along?
天哪 有个孩子也不能 让事情更顺利吗?
It wasn't the baby.
不是孩子
She has commitment issues.
她有责任的问题
Oh, that's too bad. Hey, what's that splattered all over your shirt?
那不太好 什么东西泼到你衬衣上了?
Coffee and breast milk.
咖啡和母乳奶
What happened? Did Starbucks merge with Hooters?
怎么了? 星巴克里开始有妓♥女♥了吗?
Hooterbucks.
妓♥女♥克
I'd like a double-D cup latte, please.
麻烦给我来一杯双D罩杯的拿铁
Dad, you gotta sign this.
爸爸 你得在这个上面签名
Another D? Jake, what is wrong with you?
又是个D? 杰克 你到底怎么了?
Well, I have a theory.
我有个理论
Oh, really? Another one. Do tell.
好吧 又是一个 说吧
I'm a crack baby.
我是废物宝宝
Kid's a genius.
这小子真是天才!
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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