好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E14
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:08 p.m.
Hey, buddy. Hi, Uncle Charlie.
伙计 查理
Ready for a fun weekend? He's not gonna have a fun weekend.
又一个精彩的周末即将来临啦! 他这周末不会精彩的
Charlie, he's gonna study for a history test on Monday.
查理 他该为周一的历史考试努力
Well, if believing that gets you back in your car, I'll play along.
怪不得 你回车里去吧 我自己慢慢玩儿
Where's Alan? He's not here.
艾伦呢 他不在
Really? I told him I was on my way.
真的吗? 我告诉他我在路上了
That might be why he's not here.
可能他就是因为这才不在吧
Okay, I'll just have to go over everything with you.
好吧 那我就把所有事都交代给你
I'm gonna visit my parents.
我要去我父母家待几天
I won't pick Jake up till Wednesday. Alan has to take him to school.
我周三才能来接杰克 所以说你们得送他去学校
Monday is soccer practice.
周一是足球队练习
He has his math tutor and his guitar teacher on Tuesday...
周二下午... 他有数学补习和吉他课
Hang on. Hang on.
等 等会儿
Oh, hi, Judith.
嗨 朱蒂丝
Alan, why are you avoiding me?
艾伦 你为什么对我避而不见
I'm not avoiding you as much as... Hiding.
与其说我对你避而不见 不如说是 躲着
Thank you. Why were you hiding?
谢谢 你为什么躲着我
Why does the wounded gazelle hide from the stealthy jaguar?
为什么受伤的瞪羚 要躲开饥肠辘辘的美洲虎
Why does the helpless piglet hide from ravenous wolverine?
为什么无助的小猪 又要躲着不怀好意的狼獾
Animal Planet.
动物星球嘛 (探索频道的节目)
You learn a lot.
我们可以学到很多
We need to talk about your pain-in-the-ass mother.
我们得谈谈你那人见人厌的妈
You know, I would love to...
你知道的 我很乐意跟你谈
...but as Charlie told you, I'm not here.
但是就像查理跟你说的 "我不在这"
I let her take Jake out to dinner.
我让她带杰克去吃饭
She brought him home and she lectured me for 15 minutes about his dirty ears.
她带他回来时 为他的耳朵脏教育了我15分钟
Fifteen minutes, huh? How long is this gonna take?
15分钟 你说的也不短啊
Like I'm a bad parent.
我是个坏妈妈
Let her try and get a Q-Tip in a squirming 11 -year-old boy's ear.
她倒是给我点清洗 11岁小男生耳朵的温馨小贴士呀
Mom didn't believe in Q-Tips. She had a squirt gun.
我妈可不相信温馨小贴士 她相信枪杆子底下出政♥权♥
You know, the woolly meerkat of western Africa...
据说西非雌性海岛猫鼬 会把幼崽埋在颈边
...buries her cubs up to their necks and licks their ears clean.
将他们的耳朵舔干净
What? It seemed apropos.
干嘛 我在书里看到的
If she wants to spend time with her grandson...
你得告诉你妈 她想和孙子玩的话
...she needs to back off. - Okay, I'll tell her.
...就得知道分寸 好的 我会告诉她的
Thank you. I'll tell Alan you stopped by.
谢谢 我会告诉艾伦你来过
Okay, Lewis and Clark explored what?
好 路易斯和克拉克探险出了什么
I don't remember. You just read that chapter.
我记不得了 你读过那章的
Yeah, but Lewis and Clark was a long time ago.
对 但路易斯和克拉克 可是很久以前的人
Thanks for the ride, Sally.
萨莉 谢谢你让我搭顺风车...
And for getting me home too.
以及送我回家
Why is that funny? It's not.
－什么那么好笑? －不好笑
Mustang Sally, giddyup.
人如其车 "野马"萨莉
Now, Lewis and Clark.
来 路易斯和克拉克
Face it, Dad, I'm just not good at history.
爸 我真的不擅长历史
Really? What did you have for lunch yesterday?
真的吗? 你昨天午饭吃了什么?
A pizza square. Actually, two pizza squares, a ice cream sandwich...
一块披萨 其实是两块披萨 一个夹心冰淇淋
...and a bag of Skittles. - Okay, see, that's history.
还有包彩虹糖 好 看见了吗
And a Ding Dong and a diet root beer.
还有叮咚和怡建根汁汽水
Great. Wait. It wasn't a Ding Dong.
很好 等一下 不是叮咚
It was a Ho Ho. Got it.
是吼吼 (糖果) 收到
You know what I like? Those big, pink things with coconut.
你知道我喜欢吃啥吗? 那些粉红色的椰子味东西
Snow Balls? Exactly. Can you still get those?
雪球汽水? 没错 现在还有那玩意吗
Yeah, but not at the supermarket. You have to go to 7-Eleven.
有 但是超♥市♥里没有 得去7-11
Thank you.
谢谢
Alan, will you drive me to 7-Eleven?
艾伦 你载我去7-11好吗?
No, we are trying to study.
不行 我们在学习
All right, I'll hoof it.
好吧 那我走路去
Can I bring you back something? Ding Dong.
你要我给你带什么吗? 叮咚
Who's there?
谁敲门啊?
I'm trying to get him ready for his test.
查理 我在帮他复习考试
Sorry. Sorry. You go ahead. I'll pretend I'm not here.
抱歉 你们继续 我就假装我不在这
Okay, Lewis and Clark explored what?
好 路易斯和克拉克探险出了什么
Louisiana Purchase.
购买♥♥了路易斯安那州
Right. I knew that.
对 我也知道啊
Yeah, but Uncle Charlie buzzed first.
对 但是查理叔叔先按铃的
And I'm still buzzed.
我现在耳边还嗡嗡响不停呢
Okay, give me another question. All right.
好吧 再给我个问题 好
Seward's Folly is another name for?
"西瓦德的蠢事"是什么的别称? (Seward's Folly)
Jake? Alaska.
杰克 阿♥拉♥斯加 (西瓦德买♥♥下寒冷的Alaska被称为蠢事)
Very good. Oh, I was gonna say Mrs. Seward.
非常好 我还想说是西瓦德夫人呢
Okay, the score is 1 to 1.
一比一♥平♥
Now that you mention it...
说到这
...an Eskimo Pie would go down pretty good right now.
再来个阿♥拉♥斯加派就完美了
Alan, will you drive me to 7-Eleven?
艾伦 你载我去7-11好吗?
No, next question:
不行 下一题
The War of 1812... 1812.
1812年的战争... 是1812年
No. 1813.
不对 1813年
Let me finish the question.
让我念完题目
The War of 1812 was fought against whom?
1812年的战争是和谁打的
The British. Very good, 2 to 1, Jake.
英国 非常棒 杰克二比一
Yes. No fair. My buzzer's broken.
棒极了 不公平 我的抢答器坏了
Next question. Let me try yours.
下一题 让我用一下你的
See? His works.
看见了吗? 他的没坏
All right, contestants, we are at the final round.
选手们 最后一轮
The questions are worth more.
问题的分值更高
And the answers are harder. True.
也更难回答 这倒是
Wait for a question. Okay.
还没念题目呢 好吧
Here we go. Name three changes in American life...
来 说出工业革命...
...brought about by the industrial revolution.
...带给美国生活的三大变革
Populations shift to cities, employment moving from farms to factories, and...
人口向城市转移 种植业从农场转型到工厂 还有...
Yes? Sorry, I hit it by mistake.
什么? 抱歉 我不小心按的
Settlement of the West. That's correct.
在西方世界占有一席之地 完全正确
You are our new champion. Yes.
新一届冠军产生了! 爽
Settlement of the West.
在西方世界占有一席之地
You see, Jake? You know this stuff.
杰克 看见了吗? 你懂这些东西的
Yeah, I guess I do.
对 我也觉得
Trust me, you are gonna do great. Yeah, thanks, Dad.
相信我 你考试会很棒的 嗯 谢谢老爸
You're welcome. Now go get ready for bed.
不用客气 准备睡觉吧
I'll be there in a minute to tuck you in. Okeydokey.
我一会就过去 好哟
Oh, I gotta get a security camera.
我得装个摄像头了
Where's your brother? I wanna talk to him.
你弟弟在哪? 我要和他谈谈
He's not here. Oh, really?
他不在 真的吗?
No, he's actually not here.
不 他真的不在
You know what his ex-wife said to me?
你知道他前妻说我什么了吗?
Mom, please go away.
妈 请你走开吧
She never calls me "Mom," but that was the gist of it.
她从来没叫过我妈 不过也就是那样了
I took Jake out to dinner...
我带杰克出去吃饭
You're pretending not to understand me. Right.
你装作没听懂我说话 对吗? 对
And all I did was suggest to Judith...
我只是建议朱蒂丝
...that she might wanna pay a little more attention to her son's ear hygiene.
多关心一下她儿子的耳屎
Not only was she completely unappreciative...
她不但一点都不领情
...but she had the nerve to denigrate how I raised my sons.
她还开始质疑我养自己儿子的方式
Yeah, because we turned out so well.
对 因为我们听的非常清楚
Excuse me, but whatever emotional issues you think you have...
抱歉 但是不管你们有什么不爽
...I kept your ears spotless.
我总是让你们的耳朵干净闪亮
I remember. You used the same Super Soaker...
我记得的 你用擦过家具的棉签
...to keep us off the furniture.
给我们掏
Ladies and gentlemen...
女士们先生们
...presenting noted scholar and A-student, Jake Harper.
上场的是著名学者 A等生 杰克·哈勃
You got an A? I got an A.
你得了A? 我得A了
All right. Way to go. Congratulations, Jake.
不错 干的好 祝贺你 杰克
Thanks. It's my first A this year.
谢谢奶奶 这是我今年得的第一个A
Really? Well, it's none too soon then.
真的吗? 这可不算快啊
Mom, leave it alone. I'm not saying anything.
妈 别烦他了 我什么都没说啊
I think it's wonderful. Did anybody else in your class get an A?
我觉得他很棒 你们班里还有人得A吗
Almost everybody. Why?
差不多全班都是吧 怎么了?
Oh, I was just curious as to how hard the test was.
我只是有点好奇那个考试有多难
It doesn't matter, Mom. Still an A.
没关系 妈 那也是A啊
An A is very nice. I just don't know why you're making such a big fuss...
得A是好事 我只是不懂你们怎么搞的很隆重
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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