好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E14
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:08 p.m.
Yeah, tell me about it.
没错 可不是吗
Excuse me. I'm gonna tell her she can go home.
那失陪一下 我去跟她说她可以出院了
Oh, no, please, let us. Yeah, we owe her that.
不用了 我们去说吧 我们欠她的
Suit yourself. Oh, better hurry, though.
请自便 最好快点
The nurses are circulating a"do not revive" petition.
护士正在宣传"不要出院"
You said there was nothing wrong. It's a big hospital.
你是说她有什么问题吗? 医院林子大了
Things happen.
什么鸟都有啊
What do we do now?
我们现在怎么办?
Don't worry. I got a plan.
别担心 我已胸有成竹
Oh, great, he has a plan.
好吧 你胸有成竹
Mom?
妈
Charlie? Is that you?
查理 是你吗?
Alan's here too, Mom.
妈 艾伦也在这呢
Hi, Mom. Boys, you didn't have to come.
妈妈 孩子们 你们不必来的
Are you kidding? Of course we did.
你开玩笑吗? 我们当然得来的
Right, Alan? Of course.
对吧 艾伦 当然了
Tell us what happened.
告诉我们发生了什么
I came home this afternoon, alone.
我今天下午回家 只身一人
I was walking up the stairs...
我正爬楼梯呢
...alone.
只身一人
And I had trouble breathing...
我呼吸困难
...so I drove myself to the hospital...
所以我就开车来了医院
...alone.
还是只身一人
Well, why did you drive yourself? Oh, I didn't wanna bother...
你为什么自己开车来呢? 我不想叫救护车...
...the ambulance people.
给他们添麻烦
Why didn't you call us?
你为什么不打给我们?
Oh, you both made it very clear how you feel about me.
你们俩都已经说得很清楚 你们有多讨厌我
Now, that's not fair.
那不公平
Just tell Jake...
告诉杰克
...his Grandmommy loves him very much.
他奶奶非常爱他
Don't talk like that.
别那样说话嘛
You can tell him yourself, after the operation.
手术后你再自己告诉他啊
What operation?
什么手术?
Relax. Relax. Quadruple bypasses are routine these days.
放轻松 现如今4重搭桥手术 已经是家常便饭了
Quadruple? Yeah, yeah.
四倍? 对啊
You got four clogged arteries. Right, Alan?
你有4条动脉阻塞了 是吧 艾伦
Right, the doctor said it's lucky you came when you did.
对 医生说还好你来的及时
Another few days and you'd have been flopping around on the floor like a carp.
晚几天你就跟鱼似的在地上翻滚了
It's no big deal, Mom. They crack open you open...
没什么大不了的 妈妈 就是打开胸腔
...flush out the pipes, sew you back up and you're good as new.
搅搅血管 缝起来就跟新的一样了
Except, you know, for the big, gnarly scar on your chest.
当然 除了胸口会有个大疤
They're prepping the OR.
我们说话的当口
We got the best surgeon available.
他们就在准备手术室了
He's young but really sharp.
他虽年轻 但是非常内行
And well-respected in his own country.
在他们国家很有声望的
Well, all right.
好吧
If it has to be done, it has to be done.
如果非做不可的话 就做吧
I love you, boys.
我爱你们 孩子们
If the worst should happen...
如果最坏的情况发生的话
...please remember that.
请记得
Yeah. Sure. Of course.
好啊 当然
Oh, my God, Evelyn Are you all right?
天哪 伊夫林 你还好吧?
Oh, Judith, is that you?
茱蒂丝 是你吗?
Yes, I'm right here. Jake's here too.
我在这 杰克也来了
Oh, Jake. Come to Grandmommy, darling.
杰克 亲爱的 来奶奶这
I'm sorry you feel bad, Grandma.
奶奶 你感觉怎么样?
Oh, Grandmommy's feeling much better now that her little man is here.
我的小宝贝在这 奶奶觉得好多了
I made you a getwell card. Oh, isn't that nice.
我给你做了张"早日康复卡" 真好
Gift shop wasn't open?
礼品店没开门吗?
You said you had a plan. Well, guess what? It was a bad plan.
你说你胸有成竹的 我说 那真是个烂主意
Alan, calm down. The plan sucked.
艾伦 冷静点 你的计划真烂
Don't worry. Don't worry?
别担心
She's expecting a quadruple bypass. What are we gonna do?
她准备要做4重搭桥手术了 我们要怎么办?
We're gonna get her one.
那给她做一个吧
Must be someone around here who can handle a rib spreader.
这里肯定有人会用肋骨撑开器
Charlie, that's insane. You're right.
查理 这太疯狂了 你说得对 没时间了
There's no time. Better scrub up.
得抓紧时间了
She had to drive herself to the hospital? What is wrong with you two?
她得自己开车来医院? 你们俩怎么了?
Relax, Judith. She's not sick. What?
放松 茱蒂丝 她没病 什么?
She's faking and we called her bluff, and then she called ours.
她装的 我们想揭穿她 反被她将了一军
So now, we're gonna have to cut her open.
现在我们只好把她开膛破肚了
You want in?
你想加入吗?
Hey, guess what? After Grandma's operation...
等奶奶做完手术
...she's gonna take me to Magic Mountain, okay?
她要带我去魔法山 爸 可以吗?
Yeah, yeah, that's okay. We're gonna have to tell her.
可以 我们得告诉她实情 查理
You sure? We don't need to do the bypass.
你确定? 我们可以不做搭桥手术
All we do is put her out, slice her open.
只要开一刀再缝上就好
The scar will sell it. The truth, Charlie.
她看到伤疤就会相信 去说实情 查理
Doesn't have to be a big scar.
疤也不必留很大
Okay, doctor, let's schedule this as quickly as possible.
好的 医生 那尽快安排吧
Oh, great. I'll be here.
我在这等你
Hello, boys.
孩子们
What are you doing? lf I'm going to have to have surgery...
你在干嘛? 如果我得做手术的话
...I want my own doctor.
我要自己的医生
Mom, you don't really need a surgeon.
妈妈 你不一定要做手术的
Oh, but I do.
要的
Your quadruple bypass story makes the perfect cover...
用4重搭桥手术当借口
...for a little nip tuck.
那我整容的事就神不知鬼不觉了
No turkey neck for Grandmommy, right?
奶奶脖子也没皱纹哟
About Jake. I told him I'd take him to Magic Mountain...
我跟杰克说 我会带他去魔法山 (游乐园)
...but you know how I feel about direct sunlight.
但你们知道我不喜欢阳光直射的
Yeah, and wolfbane.
对 还有附子草 (对皮肤有害)
You'll take him for me, won't you, Charlie?
查理 你会替我带他去的吧?
Sure, Mom. I'll make it up to him...
当然了 妈妈 我会带他去理个发
...by taking him out for a haircut and some decent clothes.
...买♥♥几身新衣裳做为补偿
He'll like that. Sure, Mom.
他肯定会喜欢的 当然了 妈妈
Maybe when his mother sees how nice he could look...
可能当他妈看到他那么帅的时候
...she'll take the hint and stop dressing him like a tackling dummy.
她能学着点别把他穿成个土鳖
Oh, the food here is just dreadful.
这的食物很难吃
So why don't you boys run across the street...
不如你们去街对面
...and get me a nice ahi tuna...
给我去买♥♥个美味烤金枪鱼
Charlie, what in God's name are you doing?
查理 你在干嘛
Just practicing.
先练习一下
The worker bees, or drones...
工蜂或雄蜂...
... live a life of utter devotion to their queen.
活着就是要为蜂后奉献一生
You had a plan.
你胸有成竹
From birth, these industrious yet mindless creatures...
打出生起 这些勤劳却愚蠢的生物
... slave away to fulfill the queen 's every need.
甘心当牛作马满足蜂后一切需要
"Don't worry, Alan. I have a plan."
别担心 艾伦 我已胸有成竹
Until finally they reach the end of their brief lifespan and die...
他们短暂的生命一结束
... becoming food and building materials for the rest of the hive.
就成为别人的食物 和建筑蜂窝的材料
Alan, where's my sandwich?
艾伦 我的三明治呢
Coming, Mom.
来了 妈妈
A cruel existence? Perhaps. But that's life on the Animal Planet.
体系可能残忍♥了点 但这就是"动物星球"
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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