好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E15
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:09 p.m.
Hey, when we go to Disneyland do I complain that I hate...
在我们去迪斯尼乐园的时候 我有抱怨过...
...every aspect of the entire experience? -Yeah.
...我痛恨那里的一切吗? -有
Well, then you know how irritating it is.
那你马上就会明白那恼人的程度了
Blackjack. That's it?
我21点 就完了?
Yep. You owe me another dollar.
对 你又欠我一美元
This stinks. You wanna quit?
这太恶心了 你想退出了?
Just deal the cards.
再发张牌
Attaboy.
好样的
Uncle Charlie, what's a colonoscopy?
查理叔叔 什么是结肠镜检查?
Didn't your dad tell you? He said it was just a test...
你♥爸♥爸没跟你说过吗? 他说只不过是个检查...
...and it was no big deal, so I looked it up.
...没什么大不了的 所以我在网上查了查
And? I don't believe it.
然后呢? 我不敢相信
Believe it.
相信吧
Wouldn't it be easier to go in the other way?
难道换另外头不会更容易些吗?
You'd think, but no. Why do they have to do it?
你想...不过 不行 为什么非要做那个呢?
They just wanna see what's going on. Did Dad lose something?
只不过看看里面怎么样 是爸爸弄丢了什么东西吗?
Because when I swallowed 35 cents, we just waited for it to come out.
因为我曾吞了3毛5分钱 然后我只需等着把它拉出来
No kidding. Yeah, but I only got 30 cents back.
没开玩笑吧 但是我只找回了3毛钱
Well, the house always takes a cut.
也对 庄家总是要抽头的
What're you gonna do? Hit me.
你要怎么着? 要牌
Okay, okay. In Vegas, you don't say, "Hit me."
在维加斯大家不说“要牌”
If you want a card, you go like this.
如果你想要牌 你得这样做
Okay, fine.
好啊
Busted. You owe me another dollar. What if I didn't want another card?
爆牌了 你又欠我一块了 那我不要牌怎么做?
You go like this.
你这样做
That's what I meant to do.
我刚才就这个意思
There's no do-overs in Vegas.
在维加斯可没有“悔牌”这一说
What's the signal to go to the bathroom?
那么去卫生间用什么手势?
There is no signal, you just get up and go.
那就不用手势了 你就起身去卫生间就行了
Unless you're on a hot streak, in which case you sit and wet yourself.
除非你手气正旺 那你只好 悄没声的在裤子里解决了
You're kidding, right? You're wearing a $50 pair of slacks...
你开玩笑的吧? 如果你穿了条就50块钱的裤子...
...and you got $600 on the table, do the math.
...而你在桌面上正赢着600块 你自己算算帐？
I have to do math and pee my pants?
我还得一边算账一边往裤子上尿尿？
Alan, are you ready yet?
艾伦 好了没有?
Just about.
就差不多了
And where'd I get the $600? You've been saying that for 20 minutes.
我去哪拿600块钱? 你已经这样说了20分钟了
What are you doing? Financial planning.
你在干吗? 在做财务预算
I don't wanna look, but I gotta.
我不想去看 但我必须去
In class, if we have to go the bathroom, we do this or this.
在课堂上 如果我们要去卫生间 我们做这个动作 或这个
Get it? Yeah. I got it.
明白了吗? 是 我知道了
Two hundred and eighty, 280, 280.
280 280 280
What the hell are you doing? Hang on. Two... Oh, thanks.
你搞什么鬼? 等等 拜托
Now you made me lose count.
害我忘了数哪了
Ten, 10, 10. Twenty, 20, 20.
10 10 10 20 20 20
Stop it, stop it. Why are you doing this?
停停 你做这个干什么?
I have a system. Do tell.
我有一套方法 说来听听
I divide my gambling money into three equal piles.
我把我的赌资分成3个等份
The first one is for day one.
第一天用第一份
That I'll put in my money belt.
这份钱放到我的贴身腰包里
You're wearing a money belt?
你要戴贴身腰包?
Oh, good, you can't tell.
不错 你没看出来
I was afraid it made me look chunky.
我还怕会显得很胖
Anyway, the second pile is for day two. I'll give that to you...
不管如何 第二天用第二份 我把这份钱给你
...under no circumstances do you give it back to me before midnight...
但你无论如何 也别在第一天晚上12点以前给我...
...which would be the start of day two.
...当然 第二天才正式开始
Un-freaking-believable. What's the last pile for?
真让人无法相信 那最后一份钱是干什么的?
That's the most important pile.
那是最重要的一个环节
That's the money I hide in my Frye boot.
我把那份钱藏在我的长筒靴里
In your boot? But I pretend that I don't have it...
在靴子里? 但我会假装它并不存在...
...so that if disaster strikes and I've lost piles one and two...
...如果我灾难性的把头两份都输光了
...then I can pull it out, and poof, I'm solvent again.
...我把它抽出来 就又可以下场子了
Okay. I think I understand. Pretty clever, huh?
好了 我想我明白了 很聪明吧?
Yeah. That's a nice boot.
是 靴子很漂亮
Let me see it. Oh, sure.
让我看看 当然了
Get dressed and let's go!
穿上 衣服! 赶紧 出发!
Okay.
好吧
Twentyone! Turn over your hole card.
21点 把底牌翻过来
Oh, 27.
是27点了
Close, 29.
是29点吧
Okay, I'm good.
好了 不要牌了
Alrighty.
万事俱备了
Viva Las Vegas.
拉斯维加斯万岁
Oh, Alan. What?
拜托 艾伦 咋了?
We're going in a Mercedes, not a time machine.
你是要上奔驰 又不是时光机器
Should I change?
该换一件吗?
You should, but after all these years, I doubt you will.
应该换 不过照这么多年的交情 我很怀疑你是否会换
What's this? Oh, toiletries, sundries, whatnot.
这是什么? 化妆品 防晒霜 架子
Really. Yeah, you'll thank me.
是吗 你会谢我的
Not all hotels supply shower caps and sewing kits.
不是所有的酒店都提供浴帽针线包之类
Get in the car. Jake, come on.
快上车吧 杰克 快点
Hold on a second. Oh, for God's sake. Now what?
等一下 看在上帝的份上 又怎么了?
Okay, let's go.
好了 走吧
Well, you don't have a fever. I told you, he's fine. Let's go.
你没发烧 我跟你说过他没事的 走吧
Charlie, he threw up in your umbrella stand. Did you miss that?
查理 他吐在了你的伞架上 你忘了这码事了吗?
So? Vegas is full of people who throw up.
那又怎样? 维加斯满是呕吐的人
They built that city on a sea of vomit.
那个城市本身就建立在呕吐物的海洋之上
I'm okay, I can go. That's the spirit.
我没事 我可以走 瞧这精神
You wanna drive five hours with a puking kid in the back of your Mercedes?
你真的想带着一个呕吐的孩子在你崭新的奔驰车上开5个小时吗?
He can stick his head out the window. Let the guy behind us worry.
他可以把脑袋伸到窗户外面 让后面的人担心吧
We're not going. Oh, come on.
我们不去了 拜托
It's probably just something he ate. All right.
可能就是吃了点脏东西 好吧
What have you eaten in the last 24 hours?
过去24小时内你都吃了什么?
Well, let's see, two bowls of Cocoa Puffs...
好吧 我想想 2份麦片粥
...a couple blueberry Pop-Tarts, bag of string cheese.
...几个蓝莓味果陷饼 一袋奶酪丝
That reminds me, we need more string cheese.
这倒提醒我了 家里没奶酪丝了
Then, for lunch, a Hot Pocket and a Bagel Bite.
然后是中午饭 热锅套餐和面包圈
Then dinner, fried chicken, mashed potatoes and a baloney sandwich.
然后晚饭 炸鸡块 土豆泥 以及布郎尼火腿三明治
Okay, it's not what he ate.
好了 不是吃的问题
Then, for a snack, I had a glass of Tang and some Cheetos.
然后还有零嘴和1大杯汤力果珍
That explains the orange vomit.
这解释了呕吐物里的橙子味
It's probably a stomach virus.
也许是肠胃里的病毒
Oh, please. I throw up all the time.
算了吧 我经常吐东西
It's just nature's way of saying, "Everybody out of the pool."
换种正常点的说法 “所有人都要从游泳池里出去!”
I'm putting him to bed. Come on. They have beds in Vegas.
我要让他去床上睡会 走吧 维加斯也有床
What if he needs a doctor? They have doctors in Vegas.
如果需要大夫呢? 维加斯也有大夫啊
I bet if we looked around, we could find a casino with a hospital theme.
如果我们转一转 肯定会找到一个医院主题的赌场
You know, Caesars Sinai or something.
比如凯撒西奈什么的
I'll get it.
我去接
Hello? Hey, Mom.
妈妈
Fine. Nothing.
很好 没事
I threw up in Uncle Charlie's umbrella stand...
对了 我吐在查理叔叔的伞架上了...
...and we're going to Vegas. -No!
...我们要去维加斯 -不
What kind of a father are you?
你是怎么做爸爸的?
I am a good father. When he threw up, I cancelled the trip.
我是个好爸爸 一看他吐了 我就取消了旅行
But you were planning to take my 11 -year-old to Las Vegas.
但是你计划带一个11岁的小孩去拉斯维加斯
It's really a family town now.
现在已经是很适合家庭游玩的城市了
The mob hardly has any influence at all anymore.
黑♥手♥党♥在那里已经没有势力了
Oh, good, Charlie. That helps.
太好了 查理 你真会说话
Were you planning on telling me about this?
你们想过要告诉我这件事吗?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, Mom.
妈妈 俗话说的好 "无论在维加斯发生了什么都呆在那里"
Oh, good, Jake. That helps.
太好了 杰克 你真会说话
Honey, why don't you go lie down. Why? I'm fine.
宝贝 你干吗不躺下来呢? 干吗? 我没事
Is it too late to get our bets down with Coop?
查理叔叔 现在和酷哥下注还来得及吗?
What bets? Who's Coop?
什么赌注? 酷哥是谁?
Go lie down. You're delirious.
去躺下吧 你烧昏头了
Listen, Judith,
听着 朱蒂丝
I don't think you understand what's going on here.
我认为你并不明白事情的缘由和发生的这一切
Oh, really? Yeah.
哦 是吗? 是的
You see, this trip was my idea. I'm shocked.
你知道吗 旅行的主意是我出的 我很震惊
Let me finish.
让我把话讲完
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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