好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E17
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:09 p.m.
and that when people live the way you do...
过你这样生活的人
bad things happen to them to even things out.
总是会受到惩罚
Well, I don't agree.
哦 我可不这么认为
It's not up for debate.
这是毋庸置疑的
It's a law, like gravity.
这是自然法则 就像万有引力一样
Oh, I agree with gravity.
我赞同万有引力
Good, we wouldn't want you flying off the planet...
你也不想让自己就这么飘出去
with nothing to hump but satellites.
除了卫星连个能上的东西都没有
If it makes you feel better, something bad happened.
你是不是一定要看我倒霉才觉得爽
I'm in excruciating pain. That's not enough.
我现在已经疼得要死要活了 这还不算什么呢
Trust me, Charlie. The piper has yet to be paid.
相信我 查理 你迟早会付出代价的
The only question is how high a tab you want before the bill comes due.
唯一的问题只是 你到底想让自己付出多大的代价
Okay. I get it.
好吧 我懂了
Well, good.
这还差不多
So you think I have a shot with that doctor, or what?
那你觉得我应该怎么泡那个医生
It's like trying to talk Shakespeare to a Hershey bar.
这简直是对牛弹琴
Who's Piper?
谁是管子?[前文用来比喻报应]
Oh, you poor, clueless bitch. Never trust a drifter with an eye patch.
哦 你个蠢女人 永远别轻信你所看到的
Berta. What?
波塔 什么
I'm tired, and my hands are all red and pruney.
我累了 我手都红了
I've seen your grades. Get used to it.
我看过你的成绩报告单 你应该已经习惯红色了
How do I know when I'm done?
什么时候才算弄干净了
Don't worry about that, honey, I'll tell you.
别烦那个神 我会告诉你的
Oh, for God's sakes, don't kiss him. He's your brother.
老天 别亲他啊 他是你哥哥
I have xrays. Oh, good. Let me see them.
X光片好了 给我看看
Oh, golly, no. Only for a doctor.
不行不行 这个只能给医生看
Hey, I'm a doctor.
嘿 我就是医生
Oh, yeah? Where you parked?
哦 是吗 你在哪里停车
Alan, you gotta relax.
艾伦 放松点
You're harboring the kind of resentment that eats away at your insides...
你已经被愤怒冲昏头了 直到有一天你醒来
until you wake up one day peeing blood and crapping into a bag.
你会发现自己瘫痪在旧床上不能自理
Thanks for the advice.
多谢提醒
You know the difference between you and me?
知道我和你之间的区别吗
I have a functioning liver...
我的肝功能正常
and somehow, you're gonna get laid tonight.
可你却能左拥右抱
That's ridiculous, Alan. She's an educated professional.
太荒谬了 她很职业的
Probably gonna have to throw a few fancy meals at her first.
当然如果是她对我感兴趣 那也不是我的错
Boo-hoo, you'll have to wait a couple of weeks.
那你得等几个星期
Couple of weeks?
几个星期?
Anyway, the difference between you and me...
随便你 告诉你 我和你之间的最大区别就是
is that when life gives me lemons, I make lemonade.
如果有柠檬 我会做柠檬汁
When you get lemons, you just bite into them...
而你却只会狠狠咬
and suck them inside out.
直到榨干它们
Okay. Let's see what we've got.
好的 来看看你情况怎么样
No fractures, no dislocations.
没有骨折 没有错位
Looks like just a simple muscle spasm. Between L4 and L5?
只有点肌肉拉伤 四级到五级之间的拉伤?
Oh, good for you.
真有你的
Okay, I am gonna give you a shot, which should ease the pain...
我得给你打一针减轻疼痛
and also allow your muscles to relax.
也可以让你的肌肉放松
Have you had Demerol before?
你以前有打过吗
No, but I've heard nice things about it.
没有 不过我听说打♥针♥很不错
Okay, I'm just gonna pull your shorts down a little.
我要把你的内♥裤♥拉下来一点
But Dr. Talmadge, I don't even know your first name.
托米医生 我还不知道你姓什么呢
Michelle. Michelle.
米谢尔 米谢尔
That's prettier than Stanley.
真是个好听的名字
Sorry. That's okay.
不好意思 没关系
It's all part of the little meet-cute thing we got going here.
这只是我们温馨过程的一部分
So how long does it take before I start feeling...
多久之后我才会有...
happy.
快♥感♥
Happy, happy, happy. Happy.
幸福啊 幸福啊 幸福啊
Michelle, did you know I have a house on the beach?
米谢尔 你知不知道 我在沙滩上有座房♥子
Really? I love the beach. Oh, good, because I have a house there.
真的? 我爱沙滩 真的? 我在那儿有座房♥子
Wait outside, I need to give your brother a hernia exam to make sure...
你能不能出去一下 我得给你哥哥做进一步岔气检查
he hasn't reinjured the area. - A hernia exam.
确定他的岔气没有复发 一个岔气检查
And your boxers. Byebye, boxers.
还有你的拳击短裤 拜拜了 小内♥裤♥
I was wrong. There's no justice.
我错了 根本就没有公正
I thought there was justice, but there's not.
我以为有 但其实根本就没有
What, you think there's justice?
什么 你觉得有公正?
Because there's not.
根本没有哇
Turn your head and cough.
转过去咳嗽一下
You have very warm hands. Again.
你的手真暖和 再来一遍
You have very warm hands.
你的手真暖和
So any chance I could take you out for dinner tonight?
今天晚上可以约你出去吃饭吗
You're hitting on me? You started it.
你是在泡我吗? 是你先开始的
You're amazing. Well, statistically...
你真厉害 呵呵 按数据来说
I'm only slightly above average.
我只超过常人一点点而已
But I make up for it with enthusiasm and perseverance.
我最擅长激♥情♥与持久
No, what's amazing is that you don't remember me.
不是 我说的是你居然都不记得我
Well, sure I remember you.
我当然记得你
You're the pretty woman cupping my testicles from earlier.
你是个正在抚摸我睾丸的性感女人
Back when I was in medical school, you and I went out for a couple months.
当我还在医学院的时候 你和我约会过几个月
You wanna loosen your grip there?
你要不要考虑捏得松一点
Then for reasons I never understood...
接着不知何故
you stopped calling me, and started seeing my roommate.
你就不给我打电♥话♥了 然后开始泡我室友了
The grip.
松点儿
I always hoped I'd run into you again.
我总希望还能再遇到你
Please. Just leave me one.
求你了 就松一下
Oh, dear God.
哦 上帝
My brother's making lemonade.
我兄弟在榨柠檬汁
I need to go to the bathroom.
我要去上厕所
So go.
想去就去
Oh, yeah.
哦 好吧
Good night. I'll see you tomorrow.
晚安 明天见
Night. Night.
晚安 晚安
So, are you gonna tell me what happened with you and the doctor?
要不要跟我讲讲 你跟那个医生都发生什么了
What do you think happened?
你觉得发生什么了
I think she shot you full of drugs...
我觉得她给你打了一针毒品
you dropped trou, she jumped your bones...
你们俩干柴烈火
and you're the luckiest bastard to walk the earth.
然后你就成为了最幸运的混♥蛋♥
Well, for your information...
告诉你吧 事实上
that's exactly what happened.
事情就是这样的
Not even a little justice.
老天真是瞎了眼
This is a justice-free zone.
老天根本不管这儿
Looking for justice? Sorry, fresh out.
寻求公正呢? 对不起 快被挤出去了
Enjoy sucking on that lemon.
继续吸那个柠檬吧
Nope, not yet.
没 还没好
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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