好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S02E07
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 12:07 p.m.
Please, it isn't a party. It's a sham.
这才不是一个聚会 只是装模作样而已
None of those people are my friends.
那些人又不是我的朋友
Why would you think that?
你怎么会那样想?
Believe it or not, Alan, your mother is a very sensitive woman...
不管你信不信 你妈妈是个很敏感的女人
and I can feel when people around me know that I hate them.
我能感觉到 我周围的人知道我讨厌他们
Why did you want us to throw the party? Oh, why does anyone want a party?
那你为什么一开始想要办个聚会 每个人都想要个聚会
To feel superior while feigning humility.Don't touch that, Jake.
假装谦卑却暗自得意 别碰那个 杰克
Let me tell you something.
我告诉你吧
The way you treat people is the way they treat you back.
你怎么对待别人 别人就怎么对待你
Miserable bastards.
可恶的混球们
But
但是
putting that aside, you're getting a gold jacket today...
先不说那个 你今天会得到一个金茄克衫
and we wanted to share that with you.
你的家人想要和你一起分享
Is that what it takes?
这就是报应吗?
I have to win an award for my sons to notice I'm alive?
我要去赢个奖品才能让 我自私自利的儿子发现我还活着吗?
Okay, you know what?
好吧 你猜怎的
Go, don't go. I don't care.
去或者不去 我不在乎
If you wanna sit here and stew in the venom and bile...
你想要坐在这
that is the soup of your being, then fine.
享受你自己用怨恨及愤怒熬制的汤 无所谓
I hope you drown in it.Don't you ever talk to your mother this way.
我希望你淹死在那里面 不准这样和你妈说话
Forget the party.
忘了那个聚会吧
I'll go back and tell those people...
我会回去告诉所有人
that the guest of honor could not be bothered to show up.
他们的主宾不屑于参加这个聚会
Come on, Jake.
走吧 杰克
Oh, dear Lord. Alan, wait.
老天爷! 艾伦 等一下
If this silly, little party means that much to you,
如果这个无聊的小聚会 对你来说那么重要
I'll go.
我会去的
Just let me get dressed.
让我换一下衣服就好了
Oh, gee. Thanks, Mom.
天啊 真是多谢你了 妈妈
God, I hate being guilted into doing things.
天啊 我讨厌内疚的去做事情
And after all that, the loans, the bail, the kidney I gave her...
在我给她的那些贷款 保释金 还有肾之后
which even though it wasn't mine, was still money out of pocket...
虽然那肾不是我的 但钱还是我付的
did she appreciate my sacrifices?
她有感谢我的牺牲吗?
I'm guessing no.
我猜没有吧
She threw them away on chasing after men with drinking problems...
她毫无感激之情 追逐着那些酒鬼
men with gambling problems, men with wooden legs and glass eyes.
那些赌鬼 还有那些 用着木头腿和玻璃假眼的男人
You wanna know why?
你想知道原因吗
Spare parts?
呃...喜欢备用零件?
Low self-esteem.
缺少自尊
I remember when we were little girls...
我记得我们还是小女孩的时候
she had this crush on our cousin Jimmy...
她就和我们的表哥吉米一起过夜
He wasn't really our cousin. He was...
虽然他不是我们亲表哥
Stop, please! Enough
停! 拜托 够了
If you won't talk to her, I will.
如果你不想跟她说话 我去
Finally. I was running out of stories.
终于啊 我都快没故事可掰了
Daisy?
黛西
Can I talk to you for a minute?
我能和你谈一下吗?
Daisy is no longer inhabiting this earthly vessel.
黛西现在不存在于这个地球之上
Excuse me?
什么?
I am Oxyquatzal, warrior priestess of the Aztec people.
我是奥西卡索 阿芝台克人♥民♥的勇士及女祭司
Okay.
好吧
Let me ask you something.
我问你点事情
Do you know how to make those little hot dogs wrapped in pastry?
你知道怎么做 那种包着馅饼皮的热狗吗
Listen carefully. I have a message for Daisy.
仔细听着 我有个给黛西的信息
Really?
是哦
She's wandered off the path of destiny. She must return.
她在命运之路里迷失了方向 回头是岸!
Alrighty, is there a number where she can reach you?
好吧 你有电♥话♥号♥码吗? 我让她打给你
Tell her to follow her bliss...
告诉她珍惜神赐
to stop squandering the gifts of the Great Spirit.
不要再挥霍 伟大的灵魂给与的礼物了
Got it.
知道了
Do you need to write that down?
你要写下来吗?
No, I got it. Path, bliss, spirit.
不用 我记住了 "道路 神赐 灵魂"
Great Spirit.
是伟大的灵魂
Sorry. "Great Spirit."
对不起 伟大的灵魂
Anything else?
还有什么别的吗?
No, that's it.
没了 就这些
What do you want?
你想干吗?
You're screwing with me, right?
你在玩我 对吧?
Get out of here. I'm trying to channel my spirit guide.
出去 我要和我的灵魂向导谈心呢
OxyContin?
奥西卡特?
Oxyquatzal. How do you know about her?
奥西卡索... 你怎么知道她的?
Oh, boy. Berta!
天那 波塔
Was Oxyquatzal here? What did she say?
奥西卡索来这了? 她说了些什么?
She said that the guests are gonna be here soon...
她说客人就快来了
so you should make up with your sister and finish cooking.
所以你得和你姐姐和好 一起把吃的弄好
No, she didn't.
她才没有呢
How do you know?
你怎么知道
Oxyquatzal is a 500-year-old Aztec warrior.
奥西卡索是个500岁的阿芝台克勇士
Do you think she really cares about your dumb-ass party?
你觉得她会关心你那个破聚会吗?
Everybody likes a party.
大家都喜欢聚会
What did she really say, Chachi?
她到底说了些什么?
She said that you have strayed from your path and to follow your bliss...
她说你在道路中迷失了
which is catering, right?
还有珍惜神赐 就是承办宴会 对吧
No, I never liked catering.
我根本不喜欢承办宴会 我来做这个
I only got into it because the bait business was so damn competitive.
只是因为鱼饵买♥♥卖♥♥竞争太激烈了
What else?
还有什么?
Something about squandering the gifts of the Great Spirit.
一些关于 "挥霍了伟大的灵魂给与的礼物"
Oh, man, that is heavy
天啊 太不可思议了
For an ancient chick, she is so spot on.
这个老女人 说的太对了
Well, no sense crying over squandered gifts.
那别为挥霍掉的礼物哭泣了
What do you say we go to the kitchen?
回到厨房♥去怎么样?
What's the point?
有什么意思呢?
My life is hopeless. My dreams are dead.
我的生活毫无生机 我的梦想也破灭了
Yeah, but what if they weren't?
如果其实没有呢?
What do you mean?
你什么意思?
Oh, I don't know. What if there was some way I could help you?
不知道 也许我能帮你点什么吧?
You think you could whip up some rumaki then?
那你觉得可以包点腌肉卷了吗?
You don't even know what my dreams are.
你连我的梦想是什么都不知道
Oh, come on. Work with me, baby. I don't even know what rumaki is!
快去工作吧 美女 我连腌肉卷是什么都不知道!
Oh, gosh, Alan, I don't know about this.
天啊 艾伦 我不确定
Is my hair all right? Mom, your hair looks perfect.
我的头发还好吧? 妈妈 你的头发非常完美
You're impeccably dressed, you're fashionably late...
你的衣服超棒 还时髦的迟到了
and everybody is waiting for you.
大家都在等着你 那我们快点进去
So, now, come on, let's walk in there and rub their noses in your success.
让他们嫉妒你的成功!
Well, all right.
那好吧
Alan. What?
艾伦 怎么?
You're blocking me.
你挡着我了
Rumaki?
要腌肉卷吗?
I will never, ever forgive you for this.
我永远不会原谅你!
One thing.
就一件事
One lousy thing I ask from my sons, and this is what I get.
一件我让我的儿子办的糟糕事 这就是我得到的
Sorry. Sorry.
对不起 对不起
Not only was I roundly ignored at my own party...
不仅仅是因为 我在自己的聚会里被彻底无视
but I listened to a disturbed caterer belt out...
而且我还得听 一个多嘴的宴会承办商
...the entire score of La Cage aux Folles.
演唱一整场的"虚凤假凰"
Sorry. Sorry.
对不起 对不起
You should be sorry.
你们是应该道歉
We are.
我们是在道歉 我们是在道歉
Then say it.
那说啊
Sorry. Sorry.
对不起 对不起
Hello?
你们好啊
Jake, honey, ready to go home?
杰克 亲爱的 准备好回家了吗?
Mom, you're here. I love you.
妈妈 你来了 我爱你
Wonderful. Teach him sarcasm. Thank you very much.
真棒啊 教会他挖苦了 真是非常感谢
Sorry. Sorry.
对不起 对不起
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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