好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E19
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:11 p.m.
So, I'm an adult! I don't have to learn anything!
我是个大人! 我可以什么都不学!
What's bugging you, zippy?
你在烦什么呢? Zippy(木偶的名字)
Your blow-up doll run off with a pool toy?
你的充气娃娃跟人跑了?
Just mind your business and do your job.
管好你自己 做你自己的事去
Want to rephrase that?
再说一遍?
Desperately.
对不起
Good morning, everyone.
各位 早晨好
Well, at least somebody's in a good mood.
喔 起码还有个心情好的
Well, I'm not usually one to kiss and tell, but... boing! Wubba-wubba-wubba!
我不是那种到处谈论艳遇的人 不过...
So who's the lucky receptacle?
谁是那个插座?
Do not talk about angie that way. She's a lady!
别这样说安琪 她可是个淑女
During the day.
那是白天
But once the lights go down... boing! Wubba-wubba-wubba!
一旦关了灯...
All right, fine. We get the picture.
别说了 我们能想象的出来的
Oh, I don't think you do.
我可不这么认为
She left an hour ago,
她一小时前走的
but it took me till now to safely zip up my pants.
可直到现在 我才好不容易能把裤子拉链拉上
You know, there are parts of angie that could sue disneyland for claiming
安琪身体的某个部分 简直比迪斯尼乐园还棒
it's the happiest place on earth.
那是世界上最棒的地方
Oh, go to hell.
去死吧
Alan, alan, wait. What?
艾伦 艾伦 等等 干什么?
Boing! Wubba-wubba-wubba!
Boing! Wubba-wubba-wubba!
Is charlie here?
查理在吗?
Oh, for god's sake, they just drop out of the sky for him.
天呐 上帝对这家伙简直太偏心了!
Tricia?
特里西娅?
Hi, charlie. Can I talk to you?
嘿 查理 我能和你聊聊吗?
I-I guess. What's up?
可以 发生什么了?
I've made a horrible mistake. I can't marry jeremy.
我犯了个大错 我不能嫁给杰里米
Who's jeremy?
谁是杰里米?
Angie's son.
安琪的儿子
I thought I wanted to settle down, but when I saw you the other night,
我本来以为一切都过去了 但是那天晚上我看到你...
I realized I'm not over you.
我意识到我还没忘记你
Okay, uh, you understand that I'm involved with jeremy's mother, right?
恩...我正在和杰里米的母亲约会 这个你也知道
Well, I know, but I don't understand.
我知道 但我无法理解
You're not alone.
我也无法理解
I'm so confused.
我心里很乱
I just had to see you.
我一定要见到你
Oh, come on. Come on. It'll be all right.
没事的 没事的 一切都会过去的
Can I get you anything? Something to drink?
要不要喝点什么?
Could I have a glass of water?
给我杯水 好吗?
Sure. Here, sit down.
好的 你先坐一下
Thank you.
谢谢
Alan, where do we keep the water?
艾伦 咱家的水在哪儿?
Kitchen.
厨房♥
Back in a flash.
马上回来
"Where do we keep the water?"
咱家的水在哪儿?
I know where the scotch is. I know where the ice cubes are. That's enough.
我知道酒在哪儿 我知道冰块在哪儿 这就足够了
Okay, let me get this straight.
咱们就直说了吧
Angie's son is engaged to that woman, who you used to be involved with,
安琪的儿子跟这个女人订婚了 而她曾经和你有一腿
who now wants you back?
现在她又想你回到她身边?
Scorecards! Can't tell the players without the scorecards.
记分卡! 没有记分卡 就别和队员谈
Yeah. What am I gonna do?
是呀 我有什么办法呢?
I know what I'd do. Yeah. Three pumps and an apology.
我知道我该怎么做 没错 深呼吸三次 然后道歉
What, you got another move I ain't heard about?
怎么了? 哪个步骤我漏掉了?
Okay, forget about what I'd do.
算了 别管我的事了
That-that woman is gorgeous.
这个女人多迷人啊
How-how can you possibly pass that up?
你怎么可能不心动呢?
Easy. I care about angie.
我现在只在意安琪
Forget angie. You don't need angie.
别想安琪了 你根本不需要安琪
You're just trying to sabotage my relationship so you can have angie.
你想要破坏我们的关系 然后你就可以得到安琪了
What? No.
什么? 才不是呢
No! No!
不是! 根本不是!
Come on. Look at her.
兄弟 看着她
She's young, needy, and vulnerable.
她那么的年轻 如此的需要你
Go fetch!
快去!
No. No, it's not worth it.
不 不 不行
I'm not gonna screw things up with angie.
我不能对不起安琪
Who's gonna tell her? I'm not gonna te hller.
谁会告诉她吗? 我绝对保密
That's not the point.
这不是保密的问题
Okay, think about this. In a few years, tricia will beax7fhat, 29?
想象一下 再过几年 特里西娅才多大 29?
Angie's gonna be...
安琪会是...60岁?
You're lookin' at grandkids, liver spots, and a dusty bowl of hard candy.
一群孙子孙女 老年斑 放着糖果的脏碗
I don't like any of those.
我可不想要这样的生活
Of course you don'T. Nobody does.
你当然不想了 没人想的
Go ahead. Do it.
赶快 现在
Defile her!
搞定她!
Here you are.
你的水
Thanks.
多谢
Listen, tricia.
听着 特里西娅
You know how i feel about you.
你知道我对你的心意
We had some great times together.
我们曾经过得很开心
Remember vegas?
还记得维加斯吗?
Oh, yeah.
当然
We didn't leave the room for three days.
我们整整三天都没离开屋子
Oh, yeah.
嗯哼
Of course I couldn't leave because I made you tie me to the bed.
当然 我是没办法离开的 我让你把我绑在床上了
Oh, yeah.
是呀
Do you ever hear from the other two girls?
你还有另外两个女孩儿的消息吗?
Oh, yeah.
还有
Look, this isn't a good idea.
嗯...很抱歉
You need to go.
你得走了
But can't we just talk a little more?
我们能再多聊会儿吗?
If we could just talk, you wouldn't need to go.
只是聊聊天 那没问题 不过...
But-but charlie...
但是...查理
trust me.
相信我
Jeremy is a great guy, and he obviously loves you.
杰里米是个非常好的男人 他也非常爱你
I say give him a chance.
给他个机会吧
But what if you and I had just-just had one last fling?
为什么不来个最后的放纵呢?
One last fling.
最后的放纵
Yeah. Yeah, we'll go back to vegas.
我们可以再去一次维加斯
Oh, this time, I'll tie you up.
这次 我要把你绑起来
You really need to go.
你真得走了
byebye. Charlie, wait.
拜拜 查理 等等
Byebye. Wait, char...
拜拜 等等 查...
it's not too late.
现在反悔还来得及
You can still have her.
你还可以搞定她
I'm not listening.
我听不到
You could do it in her car! How hot is that?
你俩可以在车里做! 多棒啊!
I can't hear you!
我听不到!
It's dirty in a car!
在车里做 多棒啊!
what the hell do you want?
你到底想干什么?
What?
怎么了?
Tricia broke off her engagement with jeremy because of you.
特里西娅不跟杰里米结婚了 都是因为你
No, no, no, no, no, no! No! No!
不 不 不 不是这样的
I was good. Honest.
我是个好人 甜心
He was crushed.
他的心都碎了
My little boy had a nervous breakdown and tried to drink bleach.
我可怜的孩子彻底崩溃了 他差点就喝漂白水自杀了
Yeah, but I was good.
是吗 但我是个好人啊
Oh, good?
好人?
Tricia told us everything about you and her.
特里西娅把你们的事儿全说了
Everything?
全说了?
And he was still crushed?
那他还会心碎?
You lied to me.
你这个骗子
No, no, no, no, no. No, I didn't lie.
我没有骗你
I just... didn't tell.
我只是没有提起...
It was a long time ago.
那是很久以前的事儿了
And I didn't want you to be jealous because she's young and you're...
我也不想你嫉妒 她那么年轻 而你...
I'm what?
我怎么了?
A real trooper?
真正的骑兵?
Drop dead!
去死吧!
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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