好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E11
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
That makes sense.
有道理
When.
时机
Before the dessert menu comes out.
在上甜品之前
Otherwise,you can find yourself with a lap full of hot coffee,
否则你会被浇一腿的烫咖啡
which is not as much fun as it sounds.
那可没听上去那么有趣
That doesn't sound fun.
听上去也不有趣啊
It sounds fun if you're wearing a couple of doughnuts.
要你正穿着一对甜甜圈的话 就有趣了
Moving on to how.
说到方式
What you want to convey is your undying affection and gratitude for your te spent together,
你要表达对你们共度的美好时光 永存热爱和感激
coupled with your need for space to find out who you really are.
然后说你需要空间 想明白自己到底是谁
But that's a load of crap.
但那都是胡说
It's all crap,alan.
当然都是胡说了 艾伦
You know it,she knows it,everybody knows it.
你知 她知 世人皆知
All we're trying to do here is keep her from taking batting practice on your kidneys.
我们是要避免她拿你肾脏当球打
Why would she go for my kidneys?
她为啥非要打我肾脏?
Because you'll be running away covering your head.
因为你要手护着头跑啊
Okay,okay.
好好
So...
那么...
so I take her to dinner and,then before the coffee comes,I tell her that,
我带她去晚餐 在上咖啡之前 我告诉她
while I still have strong feelings for her,I need time to find out who I really am.
虽然我对她还很有感觉 但我需要时间想清楚我到底是谁
Excellent.
非常好
Yeah.Maybe...
是啊 也许...
maybe I can throw in some stuff about
也许我可以加上点什么来表达
how I'm still reeling from my divorce.
我仍然对离婚感到震惊和绝望
N't improvise.You don't have the chops for it.
不要即兴发挥 你没这个天赋
Sorry.
抱歉
No problem.
没关系
I do appreciate the advice.
谢谢你的建议
You're very welcome.
不客气
a mask and a cape,and the sex was boring?
面具和斗篷 居然还没什么性趣?
What can I say?
我能怎么样呢?
She still knew it was me.
她还是知道那就是我
How I l lk?
我看起来怎么样?
What difference does it make?You're breaking up with her.
这还有什么关系吗? 你是要去和她分手的
I don't want my clothes to say,"come hither."
我不想让我的衣服说"过来吧"
Don't worry.
不用担心
As always,they say,"your regular teacher is sick."
你的衣服永远只会说"我的主人技巧很差"
You clear on everything I told you?
我说的你都记住了吗?
Yes,yes.
都记住了
I'm going to go to her house,pick her up,take her to the restaurant...
我要去她家 开车接她去餐厅...
whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa!
喔喔喔喔!
Pick her up?
开车去接她?
You're supposed to meet her there.
你应该直接跟她在餐厅见面
Why?
为什么?
What do you mean,why?
什么为什么?
You're gonna breakup with her,then drive her home?
你是要在跟她分手之后送她回家?
You'll need the jaws of life to get her out of your car.
你将要大费周章才能把她赶下车
You didn't say anything about that.
你没说过这个啊
It's common sense.
因为这是常识啊
You know why custer and sitting bull
你知道为什么卡斯特将军和坐牛去小比格霍恩时
didn't share a pony to little big horn?
没有坐一匹小马?
Because they knew there were going to be some hurt feelings,and the ride home would be awkward.
因为他们知道将有恶战 回家的路会很尴尬
You know what?I'm just going to call her and reschedule.
你知道吗? 我要给她打个电♥话♥ 重新安排一下这件事
No,no,no,you're not.
不行 你不能这么做
Here's what you're going to do.
你要这样做
You're going to pick her up,you're going to have a nice dinner,
你去开车接她 和她共进晚餐
you're going to drive her home and walk her to her door.
然后送她回家 一直送到门口
What if she asks me in?
如果她让我进去呢?
No.Never go inside.
不行 千万不要进去
Everything in her house is a potential weapon.
她家里的每样东西都可能是武器
Everything?
每一样?
I was once blinded for two days by potpourri.
我曾被百花香料搞得两天看不见东西
So,you just walk her to her door,
所以呢 你就送她到她家门口
take her by the hand,
拉着她的手
and tell her that you've had wonderful times together,
告诉她你们在一起的时间非常开心
and those are the memories you will always cherish.
你会永远珍惜这些回忆
You know,we did have wonderful times.
知道吗 我们确实有过开心的时候
Hiking in catalina,go-karting in oxnard,
去卡特琳娜远足 到奥克斯纳德赛车
oktoberfest in rosemead.
到罗斯米德过啤酒节
Oh,what a day that was!
哦 真是美好的一天啊!
Sharing bratwurst and sauerkraut while listening to the battle of the oompah bands.
分享小香肠和泡菜 听铜管乐队演奏凯♥旋♥进行曲
Oh,god!Do you think I'm making a mistake?
天呐 我是不是在犯错误啊?
No,no,no,no,no,no.
不不不不不
The mind plays tricks on us.
我们的大脑总爱跟我们开玩笑
It only remembers the good times.
它只记得美好时光
Or,in your case,the creepy,pathetic times.
或者 对你来说 恐怖可悲的时光
But I...I still...
但我... 我还是...
don't worry,alan.
别担心 艾伦
There'll be other broads to share your bratwurst with.
还会有其它女人跟你分享小香肠的
You're right.I have to do this.
你说得对 我应该这样做
Wait,wait.What...
等等 等一下
what if she starts crying?
如果她开始哭了怎么办?
You hold her in your arms,whisper that this is best for both of you,
你搂着她 轻轻对她说 这样对你俩都好
then turn around and walk away like a man.
然后转过身 像一个男人一样离开
Unless you hear a distinct metallic click.
除非你听到一声清楚的金属响声
Then zigzag and roll.
那就赶快躲闪着跑路
Hi.
嗨
Come on in.
进来吧
Uh...that's okay.
呃 不用了吧
I'm kind of hungry.Let's just go.
我有点饿了 咱们走吧
Well,actually,I thought we could stay in tonight.
实际上 我想咱们今晚可以在家里吃饭
Really?
是吗?
I'm mang fondue.Come on.
我做了蛋白乳酪酥 进来吧
Oh,goody.
哦 好吧
Hot cheese and long,sharp forks.
热乳酪 还有长长的锋利的叉子
this movie is stupid.
这部电影太愚蠢了
This movie is a classic.
这部电影很经典
It's been 40 minutes,and we haven't even seen the shark yet.
已经40分钟了 我们连鲨鱼的影儿都没看见
That's because they're building suspense.
那是因为他们要制♥造♥悬念
Letting you use your imagination.
让你有机会运用你的想象力
You know what I'm imagining?
你知道我现在想什么呢吗?
A better movie.
一部好一点的电影
It's a classic,jake.
这部很经典 杰克
I'll tell you what's a classic.
我告诉你什么是经典吧
Snakes on a plane.
<航♥班♥蛇患>
'Cause first of all,you're in an airplane which is scary to begin with,
首先你在飞机上 这就够恐怖的了
and then it's all filled with snakes.
然后就到处都是蛇
And they're everywhere.
到处都是
They're in the overhead compmptments,they're in the bathrooms,they're in the vomit bags.
行李架上 洗手间里 呕吐袋里
You need to throw up,open the bag-- snake!
当你想吐的时候 打开袋子 ---蛇!
Sounds gripping.
听起来很吸引人
Snake!
蛇!
snake!
蛇!
That's it,we're out of here.
够了 咱们走吧
Where are we going?
去哪儿啊?
Someplace public where killing you would get ou
公众场所 杀了你不会有麻烦的地方
fine.
好的
Snake!
蛇!
great fondue,donna.
蛋白乳酪酥真棒 唐娜
Glad you liked it.
很高兴你这样说
Oh,don't forget to put away the little forks.
噢 别忘了这些小叉子
Thanks.Be right back.
谢谢 我马上回来
Oh,good lord.
哦 天呐
We've had wonderful times together,donna.
跟你在一起我非常开心 唐娜
And those are memories I will always cherish.
这些回忆我会永远珍惜
What?
什么?
Nothing.
没事
Uh-oh,potpourri.
喔哦 百花香料
I made coffee.
我煮了咖啡
Hot coffee?
热咖啡?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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