好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E03
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:06 p.m.
How come you never called me?
怎么你一直不给我打电♥话♥?
Well, uh...
这个...
funny story.
很好笑
Long story.Tell you later.
说来话长 待会告诉你
Can we get four iced teas, please?
要四杯冰茶 谢谢
I'll be right back.
马上到
old friend?
老朋友?
Yeah, you know, church choir, bake sale.
是啊 你知道的 唱诗班 卖♥♥蛋糕
You may not want to drink the iced tea.
也许你不会想喝冰茶
You know, alan, I got to hand it to you--
艾伦 真是你的功劳
linda is really something.
琳达的确有那么点意思
Yeah, yeah, she's terrific.
是啊 她的确很棒
But let me ask you something.
但我有个问题
Sure.
说
What in god's name possessed you to talk about pornography?
你到底伤了哪个筋 非要去谈色情文学这话题?
Hey, she started it.
是她先说起的
She wasn't talking about pornography.
她不是在说色情文学
She was talking about constitutional law and the preservation of the first amendment.
她在谈论宪法和维护第一修正案
Which includes pornography.
这当中包含了色情文学
Yes, it does, but it does not include your favorite actresses,
是的 你没错 但那并没包括你最爱的女演员
top ten dvd's or your beefs about the bonus features.
和十大A片 还有你对幕后花絮的不满
I just pointed out that the bloopers,
我只是想说那些穿帮镜头...
though funny, are really more of a turnoff.
虽然好笑 但的确很倒胃口
hello?
喂
Yeah, yeah, hi, donna.
是 是我 好吗 唐娜
Um, charlie and i were just talking about what a nice time we had.
查理正在回味刚才的约会呢
Okay, I'm sorry.
好吧 很抱歉
We...I'm sorry.
对不起
Ask her if linda likes me.
问她琳达喜不喜欢我
H-hang on.
等等
You're kidding, right?
你开玩笑吧
Come on, chicks talk to each other.
别装了 女人们都爱互相八卦
Uh, donna, would you please tell my brother what you just told me.Here.
唐娜 麻烦你跟我弟重复下你刚才的话好吗
Hey, donna.Talk to me.
唐娜 说话
I see.
明白
Okay, well, thanks for the heads-up.
好的 多谢提醒
Linda didn't like me.
琳达不喜欢我
Go figure.
好好反省
I told her not to drink the iced tea.
我叫了她不要喝冰茶的
that's what I heard--danny sholander likes jennifer denapoli.
我听说--Danny Sholander喜欢Jennifer Denapoli
Hey.
你好
Really?He's gay?
真的?他是同性恋?
Does he know that?
他自己知道吗?
You got to get me another crack at her.
你得让我再试一次
What?
什么?
I need to see her again.
我要再见她一次
See who? Linda.
见谁? 琳达
I-I can't let it end this way.
我不能让事情就这么结束
Let what end?It was a lunch.
让什么结束? 只是顿午餐而已
No, no, no, no, it was more than a lunch.
不 不仅是一顿午餐
It was a test: Is charlie harper capable of stepping up to quality women?
这是个考验: 查理 哈珀能否钓到熟♥女♥?
Oh, god, we're back to third person.
又开始用第三人称了
Alan, I am tired of having meaningless sex with hot pinheads.
艾伦 我厌倦了跟蠢美眉胡搞
What a coincidence--I'm tired of hearing about it.
真巧--我厌倦了听你说这个
Linda's smart, linda's sophisticated, linda's successful.
琳达 聪明过人 老于世故 事业有成
Linda doesn't like you.
琳达不喜欢你
She will--I can make her.
她会喜欢我的 我会让她喜欢我的
You just need to tell donna to tell linda to give me another chance.
你得跟唐娜说 让琳达再给我一次机会
Fine, I'll pass her a note during study hall.
好 我会在自习室里给她张条
Hey, hey, hey, don't belittle my feelings.
别小看我的感情
I'm in a very sensitive place, and I will kick your ass.
我现在很敏感 我会揍你的
Oh, come on, charlie, so you struck out with a woman.It happens.
得啦 查理 你被三振出局了 没啥大不了的
Believe me...
相信我...
it happens.
没啥大不了的
And when it does, the best thing to do is to pick yourself up,
最好的应对方式就是站起身来
dust yourself off and curse god for making you the way you are.
拍掉身上的尘土 并咒骂上帝为啥把你造成这样
All right, forget it; I don't need you.
算了 我不需要你
I'll call her myself.
我自己给她打电♥话♥
Sorry about the "curse god" stuff.
抱歉我说要咒骂上帝
But we both know I'm not your best work.
但我确实不是你最好的作品
yeah, hi.Can i speak to judge linda harris, please?
你好请找琳达 Harris法官
Charlie harper.
查理 哈珀
Yes, again.
对 又是我
All right, fine, put me through to voice mail.
好吧 帮我转到语♥音♥信箱
Banging a judge won't get you out of jury duty--
就算你睡了法官 也要履行陪审员义务的--
believe me, I've tried.
相信我 我试过
Shh, shh, quiet.
安静
Yeah, hi, linda.It's charlie again.
你好 琳达 又是我查理
I just want you to know that this will be my last message.
我只想说这是我最后一次留言
I figure three's a charm, four is a restraining order.
事不过三 第四次就 该申请人身禁止令了
look who I'm tellin'.
瞧我在跟谁说这个呢
Anyway, I know we didn't get off on the right foot,
我知道我们的开始并不顺利
but that's just because I'm not used to spending time
但只是因为我不习惯
with such a remarkable and accomplished woman.
跟成功迷人的女性约会
Keep shoveling.
继续扯
And it's true, I've lived a certain kind of life up until now.
的确 到目前为止我过得比较...
I'm not saying that I'm proud of it, but I'm not ashamed of it, either.
我并不以此为荣 但也不因此而耻
Why else would you have videotaped most of it?
不然你为什么都录了下来?
I'm begging you.
拜托你
So, if you want to call me back, call me back.
如果你想回我电♥话♥ 就给我打电♥话♥
If not, well, have a nice life.
如果不想 祝你幸福
But it'd be a nicer life if you called me.
不过给我打电♥话♥你会更幸福
Well...
呃...
I never thought I'd see charlie harper on his knees.
从来没想过你会下跪求饶
You know, figuratively.
你知道这是个比喻
Can we please talk about me in the first person?
能用第一人称来称呼我吗?
What's this broad got that's so special?
这女人有什么特别之处l?
A brain.
有脑
What are you gonna do with a brain?
你要有脑的女人干吗?
It doesn't matter; she'll never call me.
无所谓 她不会给我打过电♥话♥的
Oh, don't talk like that.
别那么说
Just because she's smart and successful doesn't mean
她聪明成功不意味着
she's not damaged enough to go out with you.
她不会蠢到跟你勾搭
Thanks, berta, that means a lot.
谢谢 贝塔 你的话意义重大
hello?
你好?
Nah, jake's not here--try him at his mom's house.
杰克不在 打他妈妈家吧
Where are you going?
你要去哪?
I don't know, someplace where the bottles are full and the women are empty.
不知道 某个酒瓶很满 女人脑空的地方
And the skies are not cloudy all day.
而且天空总是晴朗无云
$50 fine, time served.
50美金罚款 酌情减刑
Call the next case.
下一个案子
Case number 1217-07, charles harper,
案件编号♥1217-07 被告Charles 哈珀
charged with drunk and disorderly, resisting arrest.
罪名是醉酒 妨碍治安 拒捕
Charlie?
查理?
Oh.Hey.
你好
Small world, huh?
世界真小啊?
Approach the bench, please.
请上前来
Excuse me.I think this is personal.
抱歉 这是私事
Please tell me you did not get yourself arrested just so you could see me.
别告诉我你被捕就是为了见我
you got me.
你猜中了
Charlie, what am i going to do with you?
查理 你要我怎么办?
Have dinner with me.
跟我共进晚餐
Otherwise, we're looking at a crime spree here.
不然 我会继续犯罪
All right, one dinner.
好吧 就一顿晚餐
Now, step back.
现在退下
Yes, ma'am.
遵命大人
How do you plead? Guilty, your honor.
被告主张? 我认罪 法官大人
Is this a first offense? Yes, your honor.
初次犯错? 是的 法官大人
All right, $500 fine. $500?Last time.
好吧 500美金罚款 500?上次
last time? Thank you, your hono R.
上次? 谢谢您 法官大人
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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