好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E15
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
What's your pickup line?
你怎么搭讪啊?
"You want to come back to my place and help me look for my balls?"
"想去我家 帮我找我的蛋蛋们吗?"
It was one ball, and I found it.
只有一个蛋蛋 而且我找到了
Oh, charlie. Don't you think you need to slow down a bit?
哦 查理 你不觉得该休息下吗?
Why would I want to do that?
我为什么要那么做?
Well, come on. Is, is this lifestyle actually making you happy?
拜托 这种生活方式真的能让你快乐吗?
Let me answer that question with another question.
我以一个问题来回答你吧
Who would you rather be? You? Or me?
你更想成为谁? 你还是我?
You're kidding, right?
你在开玩笑的 对吧?
You have two black eyes and you're perched on a scrotum cozy.
你眼睛被打肿了 还滥交
You.
你
Hey, there. Oh, sweet lord.
嘿 你好 哦 上帝
Can I buy you a drink?
我能请你喝一杯吗?
If you want to.
如果你想
Well, I'd like to buy you an airplane, but let's start with a drink.
呃 其实我想给你买♥♥架飞机 但还是从酒开始吧
I'm charlie. Pepper.
我叫查理 佩珀
My favorite condiment.
我最喜欢的调味料（ 佩珀有胡椒粉的意思）
It's a spice. Shut up.
那是种香料 闭嘴
So, charlie.
那么 查理
No kidding. Well, then...
可不是嘛 哦 那么...
all right. You're under arrest for solicitation.
好的 你以召♥妓♥的罪名被捕了
Stand up, put your hands behind your back, and spread your legs.
站起来 把手放到后面去 两腿叉开
I'm afraid you're going to have to choose one.
恐怕你要从我们中间选一个
Now will you admit you've got a problem?
现在你该承认自己有问题了吧?
That was entrapment.
那是诱捕
I'm the victim here.
我是受害者
If she wasn't a cop, what did you think you were gonna do with her?
如果她不是警♥察♥的话 你会跟她做什么?
I really don't know.
我真不知道
Charlie, don't you see what's happening to you?
查理 你不知道你自己有什么问题吗?
Nothing's happening,
什么问题也没有
except i offered to buy a policewoman a $500 martini.
除了我给个女警买♥♥了杯 价值500美金的马提尼
Well, then, I guess there's no point in my talking to you anymore.
哦 好的 看来我跟你讲的完全没有用
All right. Then something good came of this.
好的 这事儿终于有点好结果了
keep your hands off my girlfriend!
离我女朋友远点!
You're gonna have to be more specific.
你得说清楚是哪一个
Son of a bitch.
狗♥娘♥养♥的
x7f's been going on?
查理 出什么事了?
Well...
呃...
I've got a new career.
换了份新工作
As a crash test dummy?
打击测试人体模型吗?
Writing songs for little kids. Really?
给小孩写歌♥ 是吗?
Yeah. Turns out, immature minds respond to me.
是的 结果证明 不成熟的孩子喜欢我
That sounds about right.
听起来还不错
Uh, let's see. What else?
呃 看看吧 还有什么?
my mom's getting married. Nice guy.
我老妈结婚了 人还不错
Good for her.
恭喜她
Yeah. Yeah. My brother still lives with me.
是啊 我弟弟还跟我住在一起
Sure. We knew he wasn't going anywhere.
当然 我们知道他不会去别的地方
let's see, um... my nephew's growing like a weed.
再想想 呃... 我外甥长得像野草一样快
Mack's fianc? is getting married. I've been dating a lot. Nothing serious.
我前未婚妻要结婚了 我约会很多 都不是正式的
And, as you can see, I've had a couple of... mishaps.
还有 你也看到了 我经历了一些倒霉事
Well, except for the facial lacerations and the rectal doughnut, hardly noticeable.
除了脸部的伤口和直肠坐垫圈 看不太出来
It's actually a testicular doughnut.
实际上是蛋蛋坐垫圈
What's the difference?
有什么不同?
About that much.
大概有那么多
Well, that's disturbing.
哦 真令人烦恼
let's circle back to the ex-fianc? What was her name?
让我们回到前未婚妻的话题上 她叫什么?
Mia.
米娅
Mia. How do you feel about mia getting married and moving on with her life?
米娅 对于米娅结婚并开始新生活 你是怎么想的?
I feel fine about it. I'm happy for her.
我觉得不错 我为她高兴
No remorse? No regrets?
没有懊恼? 没有悔恨?
Not really. It's been a long time.
没有 我们之间是很久以前的事了
Okay. So when did you learn about her upcoming nuptials?
好的 那你是什么时候得知她要结婚的?
I don't know. A couple of weeks ago.
我不知道 几星期前
Yep. Two weeks.
没错 两周前
You're carrying the announcement around with you?
你随身带着那公告?
Yeah. Why? No reason.
是的 怎么了? 没啥
And you say you've been dating a lot?
你说你有很多约会?
A little more than usual.
比以往多一点
And when did that new pattern start?
这种情况是什么时候开始的?
Gee. I don't know. It's got to be a couple of weeks now.
天 我不知道 大概持续了几个星期了
What? Aw, come on, charlie.
怎么了? 啊 拜托 查理
Just 'cause I get paid by the hour doesn't mean
即使我是按时收费也不意味着
this should take forever.
我希望可以无限时的谈论下去
It's pretty clear that the news about this woman getting married has hurt you,
再明显不过了 这个女人要结婚的消息伤到你了
and you're acting out.
这就是你对此的反应
Man, you shrinks want to
好极了 你们心理医生就是喜欢
bring everything back to feelings, don't you?
把一切都和感受联♥系♥起来 不是吗?
You think it has anything to do with your toilet training?
你觉得和小时候训练上厕所有关吗?
No.
不
Well, then I guess we're stuck with feelings.
那好 我想我们还是说说感受吧
Now, when you read that announcement, how did you feel?
当你读到这条公告时 你有什么感觉?
I don't know.
我不知道
How you feel when the woman you were once in love with
当你曾经爱过的女人要和别的男人结婚时
is getting married to another guy.
你会有什么感觉?
Describe it.
描述一下
Describe it?
描述?
Just for fun.
就当是好玩
It's hard to say exactly. I...
这很难确切描述 我...
I guess it's kind of like a, a, a trapdoor opens up under your feet, and...
我想这感觉就像 你脚下的地板门突然打开了
and... and you're falling.
然后 然后 你就掉了下去
And, at the same time, there's this enormous pressure on your chest, like A...
同时 你的胸口感受到巨大的压力 像
like a big animal--maybe a possum or a raccoon--is sitting on it...
就像一只巨大的动物--比如负鼠或是浣熊 坐在你胸口
and you can't catch your breath.
而你无法呼吸
"A possum or a raccoon."
"负鼠或是浣熊"
If you're writing it down, say "raccoon." Will do.
如果你在记录的话 就写"浣熊" 可以
I don't know why I said possum.
我不知道我为什么会说负鼠
It's okay.
没事
you think it's possible that this feeling of falling,
你认为这种解释可能吗? 你的那种坠落感
and the raccoon on your chest,
和胸口上压着浣熊的感觉
is a physical manifestation of unexpressed grief?
都从生理上证明了你未表露出的悲伤
Grief?
悲伤?
You know. Sadness.
你知道的 伤心
How do you read sadness into that?
这怎么跟伤心扯上的?
Look, charlie, you're a smart guy. Emotionally?
听着 查理 你是个从聪明人 感情上却有点...
but you gotta see what's going on here.
但是 你得认清事实
You're using this series of meaningless sexual liaisons
你用一系列无谓的性♥爱♥
to run away from your feelings about losing this woman.
逃避失去这个女人的伤痛
No. No. I'm sorry. I don't see it. Let's keep looking.
不 不 抱歉 我不明白 让我们继续往下看
What about my mom getting married? That can upset a fella. Right?
那我妈妈的结婚怎么说? 那也会令人伤感 不是吗?
Make him go all ancient greek and poke his eyes out.
让他像古希腊人一样把自己眼球挖出来 (俄狄浦斯杀父娶母最后挖掉双眼)
Oh, come on, charlie.
哦 拜托 查理
You loved this woman, and I'd say you still love her.
你爱过这个女人 并且我可以说你还爱着她
And, deep down, maybe you were hoping someday you'd get back together.
而且 内心深处 或许你希望有一天你们可以重新在一起
And the only reason you're not sitting here weeping is because it's too painful for you.
你没有坐在这里哭诉的唯一原因 就是你太难过了
I'm sorry. I... I... I just can't see it.
不好意思 我 我 我不能体会
You can't see it because your penis is in the way.
你不能体会是因为你的老二碍事
Thank you.
谢谢
It's not a compliment, charlie.
那不是赞美 查理
Says you.
你说了不算
Look, you-you have a very simple choice here.
听着 你的选择很简单
You can honestly confront these emotions and learn the lessons they bring,
你可以诚实的面对你的感受 并从中接受教训
or you can drive yourself into an early grave with indiscriminate sex.
或者因滥交而早日归西
Define "early."
定义"早日"先
what are you doing?
你在干嘛?
Trying to feel my feelings.
试着感受我的感受
Really. How's it going?
真的 感受的如何?
Not well.
不咋滴
see? Nothing. No grief.
看到了? 没什么 没有悲伤
What exactly are you trying to grieve over?
你到底在为什么悲伤?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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