好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E14
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:09 p.m.
Should I, uh, mention your name when I call?
我打电♥话♥的时候 呃 应该提你的名字吗?
Absolutely.
必须的
For every referral, I get a free travel mug.
每拉一次皮条 我会得到一个旅游杯
Terrific. Thank you, charlie.
太好了 谢谢你 查理
Happy to help.
不客气
Zippy getting a hooker?
活泼小子要找小姐了?
It would appear so.
看起来是这样
Boy, talk about earning your money.
天 看看人家怎么赚钱
Look, all you got to do is call her mother, talk to her for a few minutes,
其实 你只需要给她妈妈打个电♥话♥ 跟她聊个几分钟
then ask if milly's there, and if she is, you hand me the phone.
然后问一下米莉在不在 如果她在 就把电♥话♥递给我
You're not going to let this go, are you?
你不会忘了这事的 是吧?
Did you get a look at her?
你好好看她了吗?
Jake, buddy, I don't even know her mother's name.
杰克 哥们儿 我甚至不知道她妈妈叫什么
So?
所以呢?
You don't know the name of half the girls you bring over.
你带回家的女人一半的名字你都不知道
First month I was here, you called me jack.
我刚来这儿第一个月 你管我叫杰克
all right. All right.
好的 好的
I will call her, dance around the fact that I have no idea who the hell she is,
我给她打电♥话♥ 在我根本不记得她是谁的情况下周♥旋♥
then I'll hand you the phone.
然后我就把电♥话♥递给你
Great.
太好了
Listen, as long as you're hooking people... forget it.
听我说 既然你在给人拉皮条 休想
Aw, come on. I'm not picky,
喔 好啦 我不挑剔
just find me a young andy griffith.
给我找个年轻点的安迪·格里菲斯就行
Just remember, I'm doing you a favor.
记着 我是在帮你的忙
Don't forget it in a few years when I ask you to change my diaper.
N年之后当我让你帮我换尿布的时候 可千万别忘了
Okay. Wait. What?
好的 等等 什么?
It's charlie.
我是查理
Yeah, it was great to see you too.
是啊 看见你我也很高兴
Listen, let me tell you why I'm calling...
听我说 我打电♥话♥的原因
I'm sitting here with my nephew...
我跟我侄子在一起呢
yeah, he does like his cake.
没错 他是很喜欢蛋糕
Remind her I'm in a band.
提醒她 我加入乐队的事
Hang on.
等一下
You gonna let me do this?
你是让我出头吗?
You're rambling.
可你在瞎扯啊
Fine. It's all yours.
好啊 那你自己来吧
Hello. Is... is milly there?
你好 呃 米莉在家吗?
Oh, okay. Well, can you tell her that
哦 好的 你能告诉她
jake harper called--the kid with the band?
杰克 哈珀来过电♥话♥吗--那个在乐队的男孩?
Really? Sure, I guess so.
是吗? 我也是这么想的
Okay, thanks. Bye.
好的 谢谢 再见
You and me are having dinner with them on friday, so you can catch up.
这周五你和我去跟她们吃晚饭 你们好叙叙旧
You and me?
你和我?
Just don't clock block me, okay?
别搪塞我好吗?
"Clock block" you?
"搪塞"你?
That's not it?
不是这么用的吗?
No, that's not it.
不 不是这么用的
Jake, let's go!
杰克 走了!
How do I look?
我看起来怎么样?
Like you should be knocking on doors, asking people if they've heard the good news!
看起来像你逐个敲门 问人家是否听到好消息了!
I already told all my friends I have a date.
我跟我所有的朋友说了我有一个约会
I wasn't going to where the jacket, but the shirt has mustard on the back.
我本来没打算穿外套 但那件衬衫后面沾上芥末了
How did you get mustard on the back of your shirt?
你衬衫后面怎么能沾上芥末的?
A kid bet me I cldn't catch a hot dog behind my back.
一个小孩打赌说我吃不到放在我背后的热狗
It turns out, I couldn'T.
结果是 我确实不能
is that what you're wearing?
你就穿这个去吗?
What's wrong with it?
有什么问题吗?
Nothing, it's fine.
没什么 挺好的
No, no. No, no, please, mr. Blackwell,
不不 布莱克威尔先生
I want your opinion.
我想听听你的高见 (时尚毒舌评论家)
Well, would it kill you to tuck your shirt in?
好的 把你的衬衫掖进去会死吗?
I would, but I just sat in some thousand island dressing.
会啊 那次千岛沙拉酱洒里面了
Been there, done thaT.
彼时彼地
Get in the car.
上车
Alan, we're leaving.
艾伦 我们走了
Okay. Have fun.
好的 玩得开心点
I'm going on a double date with pumpkinhead--fun's not an option.
两对约会里有两个小鬼头 不会有乐子的
Well, whatever.
好吧u3000随便啦
I know it means a lot to him.
我知道这对他来说意义重大
That's good... 'cause his happiness is everything to me.
很好 因为他的幸福就是我的一切
Uh, uh, charlie? Wait.
呃 查理 等一下
Yeah.
怎么了
Guess who's coming over tonight?
猜猜今天晚上谁会来?
Alexis.
亚历克西斯
Good for you.
干得好
But if you're planning to use that vegetable oil,
但是如果你想用那个植物油
it's probably going to run you an extra hundred.
很可能你要再付100块
I'm making french fries. You know?
我要炸薯条 知道吗?
Carb loading for my upcoming 60-minute dash.
为即将到来的60分钟激♥情♥储存能量
My mistake.
我想错了
But I like how you think...
但是我喜欢你的想法
kinky and heart arar
够变♥态♥ 而且不含脂肪
right.
好的
Oh, wait, wait. One more thing.
哦 等等 最后一件事
Is this like parking at the mall?
这跟在商场停车一样吗?
What?
什么?
If I go over five minutes, do I have to pay for a whole other hour?
如果我超时五分钟 我要再付一个小时的钱吗?
No, it's like a tollbooth.
不 这个像收费站
At the end of the hour, a gate comes down
在一个小时快结束时 闸门会放下来
and lops off your penis. Have fun.
把你的弟弟拒之门外 玩得开心点
Do me a favor, if you get a chance, ask milly what her mother's name is.
帮我个忙 如果你逮着机会 问问米莉她妈妈叫什么
Why don't you ask her?
为什么你不自己问?
Because women don't like it when you forget their names.
因为女人们不喜欢你忘记她们的名字
Well, then why do you always do it?
是吗 那你为什么一直这么做?
Why do you always eat pastrami when you know it gives you gas?
那你在知道吃熏牛肉会让你放屁之后 还一直不停地吃?
'Cause I love pastrami.
因为我喜欢吃熏牛肉啊
Well, there you go.
对啊 这不就结了
But I always know it's called pastrami.
但我一直知道它叫熏牛肉啊
Just ask her.
问她就是了
Okay.
好的
Now, let's talk about your date.
现在来谈谈你的约会
You need to get your ducks in a row before we get to the restaurant.
在我们到餐馆前 你得让你的鸭子们排好队
What do you mean?
什么意思?
Well, if this little girl's important to you, it'd behoove you to have a plan.
如果这么姑娘对你很重要 做个计划会对你很适宜
"Behoove"?
"很适宜"?
It would benefit you.
就是对你有好处
Oh, yeah, sure.
哦 是的 当然
What was that thing about ducks?
这关鸭子什么事?
It's just an expression.
我只是那么一说
Well, it's confusing.
那让人迷糊
Sorry.
抱歉
You can't get 'em in a row.
你没法让它们排队
I know, I know. Now, just listen to me...
我知道 我知道 听我说
they're ducks.
它们是鸭子
Right.
没错
They move willy-nilly.
它们到处乱跑
Shut up.
闭嘴
It would behoove you to speak nicer to me.
对我好好说话会对你很适宜
I swear to god, I will open the sunroof, pick you up with one hand
我发誓 我会打开车天窗 单手把你拎起来
and toss you into the carpool lane.
扔到合用车道上
You know, there's no reason we couldn't be in the carpool lane.
你知道 我们不可能去合用车道
All right, all right, I'm listening.
好的 好的 我听着呢
Thank you.
谢谢
Now, three rules.
三条规则
Number one: Dinner with a beautiful woman is never about food.
第一 和美女吃饭从来都和食物无关
I know, it's about making her like me.
我知道 是为了让她喜欢我
Very good.
很好
But there will be food, right?
但是总会有食物 不是吗?
Yes.
是的
'Cause I'm not at my best when I'm hungry.
因为我饿的时候没法展现最佳状态
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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