好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E02
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:06 p.m.
Hello?
你好?
Oh,hi,Alan.
噢 你好 艾伦
Don't forget your little giftie.
别忘了你的小礼物
You bought him a giftie?
你给他买♥♥了小礼物?
Just my way of saying thank you for taking me to lunch.
只是 作为带我去吃午饭的答谢
You took her to lunch?
你带她去吃午饭?
I must have gained five pounds.
我肯定胖了5磅
Oh,stop!You have a terrific figure.
噢 胡说! 你有魔鬼身材
Thank you.
谢谢
Are you high?
你们来喝高了吧?
It never hurts to pay a compliment to someone you care about.
赞美你关心的人 永不为过
Yeah,you should try it once in a while.
是的 你偶尔也该试试
It might cut down on that post-coital weeping.
也许 还能减少性后哭泣几率
How'd you know about that?
你怎么会知道那事?
Berta told me, I told Mom.
贝塔告诉我的 我就告诉妈妈了
Your brother and I don't have any secrets.
我和你弟弟之间 没有任何秘密
MaybeI'mhigh.
也许是我喝高了
Okay,well, I must be off.
好吧 我得走了
Places to go,houses to sell, new widows to cold-call.
办事 卖♥♥♥房♥♥ 打电♥话♥给新近丧夫的
Oh,oh,that reminds me.
那倒提醒我
Charlie,some woman named Margaret called, looking for you.
Charilie 有个叫Margaret的女人 打电♥话♥找你
Margaret?
Margaret?
Oh,yeah,Honeymoon Margaret from last night.
噢 对 昨晚的蜜月Margaret
Charlie,the woman's husband is one of my biggest clients.
查理 那女人的丈夫 是我最大的客户之一
Oh,Mom!
噢 妈妈!
Please,I'm not asking as your mother.
拜托 我不是作为母亲要求你
I'm asking as your friend.
而是作为朋友拜托你
All right,as a friend, hands off.
好吧 作为朋友 同意了
Thank you,darling.
谢谢你 亲爱的
I love you.
我爱你
See ya,Alan.
再见 艾伦
I guess I'll just throw this away.
我也许应该把这扔了
Da-da-da-da-da-da!
那-那-那-那-那!
What?You're not gonna call her,are you?
干吗? 你不会是要个给她打电♥话♥吧?
Well,it's a bit of a dilemma.
有点进退两难
On the one hand,there's this beautiful available woman...
一方面 有这么个美女...
She's married.
她结婚了
But according to Mom, not a fanatic about it.
但据妈妈所说 她对婚姻不忠
So,am I the kind of guy who would go back on his word
我是那种 为了火♥辣♥的一♥夜♥情♥
to his own mother just for a really hot one-night stand?
而违背自己母亲诺言的家伙么?
Is that a rhetorical question?
这是反问句么?
Tell you what.
告诉你吧
We'll leave it to chance.
我们听天命
If I miss,I'll take the high road.
如果没投进 我就回避
If it goes in, I'll call Margaret.
要是投进了 我就给Margaret打电♥话♥
I guess it's fate.
我猜这是命运
Are you ready for me?
你准备好了么?
Oh,bravo.
噢 好啊
Just to be clear, this is a tit-for-tat kind of deal,right?
只是想弄清 这事是不是有点针锋相对?
Your husband cheated on you, the rotten bastard,
你丈夫对你不忠 那个烂人
and now you're cheating on him?
而现在你对他不忠?
No,he never cheated on me.
不 他从未对我不忠
Oh,so,what,he's mean to you, he's abusive?
噢 那么 那他怎么你了? 骂你了?
No,he's a doll.
没有 他可听话了
Is he gay?
他是同性恋?
Not at all.
绝对不是
Was he in some sort of bizarre sort of hunting accident?
是否出过什么罕见的打猎意外?
What?
什么?
You know,fell crotch first into an open bear trap?
例如重要部位碰到捕熊夹了?
No,he's all man.
没有 他是个彻底的男人
So then why are you doing this?
那你干吗还要这样?
Well,it's very simple.
很简单
I like having sex with strangers.
我喜欢和陌生人做♥爱♥
Well,good for you.
那还不错
Is your husband hiding somewhere watching us?
你丈夫是不是躲在哪监视咱们呢?
No,he's in Dallas on business.
不会的 他在达拉斯出差呢
Charlie,are we gonna do this or what?
查理 我们到底做不做?
Actually,I...
实际上 我...
I don't think I can.
我想不行
Why not?
为什么?
Well,I kind of promised my mother I wouldn't.
我答应过我妈不这样
Your mother?
你妈?
Who's also my friend.
她还是我的朋友
So what do you want to do?
那你打算怎么办?
I tell you what.
这样吧
We'll leave it to chance.
听天由命
If I nail this, then,you know,ditto.
如果我能搞定这个 那对你也一样
Margaret!
Margaret!
Oh,God!
噢 上帝!
Who's that? Who do you think?
谁? 你说呢?
Another stranger?
另一个陌生人?
It's my husband.Get out!
是我丈夫! 出去!
Right.
对
Where the hell should I go?
我他妈去哪儿啊?
Out the window.
窗户外面
Are you crazy?I'm not going out the window.
你疯啦? 我不去窗户外面
He's an ex-Marine.
他以前是陆战队员
I'm going out the window.
我去窗户外面
Oh,damn!
噢 该死!
Hi.
嗨
Sharon,um,what's up?
Sharon 呃 怎么了?
I was hoping we could talk.
我想和你谈谈
sure.
当然可以
May I come in?
我能进去么?
Okay. Thanks.
可以 谢谢
I'm kind of surprised to see you.
见到你 有点惊讶
I know.
我知道
I behaved really badly the other night.
我那天表现得很不好
You were a little emotional.
你有点情绪化
I wasn't a little emotional.I was borderline psychotic.
我不是有点情绪化 我是边缘性精神紊乱
Since you brought it up,
既然你说到这儿
I'd say you crossed that border with ten more crazy people in your trunk.
我想说 你带着后备箱里的十几个疯子 越过了那条边界
I know.I'm so sorry.
我知道 我非常抱歉
I get like that sometimes.
我有时候就会那样
It's a combination of low self-esteem.
这是不自尊的表现
low blood sugar and mixing red wine with my dog's painkillers.
低血糖 还把狗的止疼药混在红酒里
Uh,I once took my cold medication with a mimosa.
有一次 我在感冒药里混了含羞草
Spaced me out the whole day.
让我飘飘然了一整天
So you forgive me?
那你原谅我了?
Oh,absolutely.
噢 彻底地
Oh,thank you,Alan.
噢 谢谢你 艾伦
Don't mention it.
别说了
what are we doing?
我们这是干吗?
I'd like to make it up to you.
我想补偿你
Do you really think that's a good idea?
你真觉得这样合适么?
I mean,last time it didn't work out so well.
我是说 上次进行得不太顺利
Please,Alan, just give me another chance.
求你了 艾伦 就再给我一次机会吧
Oh,what the hell.
噢 该死的
I thought you were in Dallas.
我以为你在达拉斯
I was.
我那时在
I got a phone call telling me to come home and check on my wife.
有人给我打电♥话♥ 让我回家 检查老婆的情况
From who?
谁打的?
That's not important.
那不重要
This marriage is over.
这段婚姻结束了!
I want you out of my house.
我要你滚出我的房♥子!
Well,I'm not leaving.
我不走!
Well,you have to because I'm selling it.
你必须走 因为我要卖♥♥了它!
In this market?Are you crazy?
这样的市场状况? 你疯了么?
I've got a great Realr, and she assures me I can get top dollar.
我找到一个很好的房♥地♥产♥经纪人 她向我保证 给我最高价
You've already talked to a Realtor?
你都和房♥地♥产♥经纪人谈过了?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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