好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S05E06

Part 3 Nov. 17, 2020, 2:07 p.m.

I'm okay.
我没事
Here.
来
Grab my what-do-you-call-it. Hand.
抓住我的... 叫什么... 手
I'm okay.
我没事
That's good,but you're sitting on my head.
很好但你坐在我头上呢
Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?
知道你有多大♥麻♥烦了吗?
I do not.
不! 知! 道!
Do you have any idea how beautiful you look in that light?
知不知道你在那灯光下有多美?
I'm not talking to you.
我没和你说话
Well,I'm not talking to you either.
我也没和你说话
Except for right now.
除了现在
This is me talking to you.
这是我在和你说话
But,no longer.
但以后不会了
Would you please just... go to sleep.
拜托你能不能... 去睡觉
Okey-dokey.
好的好的
You and I have some talking to do.
我得和你谈谈
Will you make up your freaking mind.
你能有个准主意吗?!
Morning.
早
What,you're not talking to me now?
怎么你不和我说话了?
I looked up "patricide."
我查了 "弑父" 这个词
Really.
真的
When did you learn to spell?
你什么时候会拼的?
I sounded it out.
我靠发音查出来的
Patricide,huh?
弑父哈?
Our little boy's growing up.
我们的小男孩长大了
He's just upset 'cause he snuck out so I grounded him for three months.
他心烦是因为他溜出去我紧闭了他三个月
Ooh,that'll show him.
哦这会让他明白的
What am I gonna do,Berta? I can't hit him.
我能怎么样贝塔? 我不能打他
Well,sure you can.
你当然能
You just gotta figure the wind,and lead him.
你只要上膛瞄准
They're like pheasants.
他们会像野鸡一样
Very funny.
很有趣
What?
什么?
Charlie's gonna want to see this.
查理会想看看这个的
No,he's not.
不他不会的
Charlie?
查理?
Wake up.
起来
You need to see this.
你得看看这个
Can I throw up in it?
我能吐在上面吗?
No.
不能
Then I don't need to see it.
那我不看
Charlie,do you remember what you did last night?
查理你记得昨晚自己做了什么吗?
Oh,damn it.
哦妈的
Did I get married?
我结婚了吗?
Hardly.
没可能了
No. I just know she's gonna find a way to make thismyfault.
我就知道她会找个法子赖在我头上
You climbed out the window?
你从窗子爬出去?
And got into a car driven by a 17-year-old boy.
还钻进个17岁孩子开的轿车里
It wasn't a car,Dad.
那不是轿车爸
It was an extremely safe monster truck.
那是辆极度安全的怪物卡车
I mean,even if Rocco hit another car,he'd just crush it.
我意思是即使Rocco撞车了它也可以直接碾过去
The point is, you disobeyed your father.
关键是你不听爸爸话
That doesn't mean I have to get grounded for three months.
那也不用禁足三个月吧?
Hey,in my opinion,your punishment isn't severe enough.
我觉得还不够呢
Your mother's right.
你妈妈说得对
How come nobody ever asks my opinion?
为什么没人问问我的意见?
Go to your room and we'll talk to you later.
进房♥间待会再教训你
fine
行啦
Hey,thanks for backing me up here,Judith.
谢谢你支持我朱迪丝
Now that he's a teenager,we really need to stick together in order to...
孩子现在是青春期我们必须互相配合才能...
You don't have a brain in your head,do you?
你脑袋里装的豆腐是吧?
You have to watch teenagers,Alan.
你要看着孩子艾伦
You can't just expect that they'lllistenand obey.
你不能什么都不做地指望他们规规矩矩
God,you're useless.
天啊你真窝囊
Here,let me give you a hand.
来我帮你一把
Really? Yeah.
真的? 恩
Now,come with me.
现在跟我来
Where are we going?
去哪?
You're going back to your room.
你准备回你房♥去
And I am going to the sweet land of vindication.
而我准备告诉某人她是怎么"看孩子"的
Oh,Judith?
噢朱迪丝?
Yes?
进来?
Hey.
嘿
What are you doing here?
你来干什么?
I came to apologize.
我来说声对不起的
I am sorry about last night.
昨晚很抱歉
You're sorry?
你很抱歉?
For ruing one of the most important nights of my career?
为你毁了我职业生涯中最重要的夜晚而道歉?
For embarrassing me within an inch of my life.
为你暴露我们私生活让我难堪而道歉?
Ooh... yeah.
哦...没错
I mean,unless I did something else.
除非我还干了些更坏的?
No,you did quite enough, thank you.
不已经很够分量了谢谢
Look,I understand why you're mad,
我明白你的愤怒
but it really wasn't my fault.
但这真的不是我的错
I was nervous about last night,
我昨晚很紧张
so my mother gave me what I assumed was one of her tranquilizers.
所以我妈给我吃了些"镇静药"
But now I'm thinking it was a little something
事后发现那貌似是她去完
she had left over from Woodstock.
伍德斯托克音乐节后剩下的hi药
Charlie.
查理
Look.
这么说吧
You're a lot of fun and,and I like you,
你很幽默风趣我也很喜欢你
but people are talking about me running for state senate next year.
可人们都在关注我明年参选州议员的事
and I can't afford to be linked publicly to someone like you.
在公共场合和你这样的人联♥系♥上我实在无法承担后果
Well,that's not a problem.
那不是问题
No,Charlie.
不查理
Oh,come on. All the guy politicians have something on the side.
来嘛所有男政客都有些花边新闻
Why shouldn't you?
你又何尝不可?
Take care.
保重
It would send a powerful message to young women everywhere.
你就这么把我拱手让给广大无知少女?
Bailiff! I'm going.
法警! 我走啦!
Pretty flowers.
很漂亮的花
Thanks.
谢谢
Want to stick them in something?
想把它们塞进哪里吗?
Never mind.
当我没说过
I thought I was up to it,Alan.
我以为我能做到艾伦
I thought I was ready for a real relationship,
我以为我已经为一段严肃的感情做好准备了
and Linda and I would be a team.
而琳达和我会手拉着手
I'd stand by her as an accomplished woman and a judge
我站在她这个法官兼完美女人身边
and she'd stand by me as a...
她就站在我这个...
Reformed whoremonger?
改过自新的皮条客身边?
So you believe I was trying.
所以你相信我在努力咯?
I do.
我相信你
And you know what?
而且你知道吗?
Someday you'll look back on this as a growing experience.
某天你回想起来这会是你的一次成长经历
Maybe.
也许吧
Someday.
某天
Oh,who could that be?
谁啊?
I ordered some takeout.
我叫了外卖♥♥
Ah,nice,Italian?
好啊意大利菜?
Nope.
不
Hi.Are you Charlie?
你好你是查理?
Yeah,come on in.
正是请进
Greek.
希腊菜
Be patient with me.
请耐心点对我
I'm coming off a bad breakup.
我刚经历一次惨痛分手
And,as usual,Alan gets chicken pot pie.
此情依旧艾伦分到的只有鸡肉派