好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S05E13

Part 2 Nov. 17, 2020, 2:09 p.m.

You know,charlie's not the only one
知道吗查理不是唯一一个
who can be hurtful for no reason!
无缘无故就对人刻薄的人!
You know,herb,that is a fine,fine hat.
哈珀你的帽子太正点了
Gotta wear it. Otherwise,I freckle like a banana.
我必须得戴着要不我的雀斑就得像香蕉一样多了
Well,I wouldn't want your banana to get freckled.
呃我不想让你的香蕉长那么多斑点
Let's go,charlie. Hang on,hang on.
走吧查理等下等下
We're having a real interesting conversation here.
我们正谈得起劲呢
Hey,herb,tell alan what you told me about how you plant seeds.
嘿哈珀告诉艾伦你跟我说的怎么把种子种到土里
Well,first,I make sure the soil is moist.
好吧首先我要确认土壤是湿润的
And tell him how you do that.
告诉他你是怎么做的
Well,I just stick my finger into old mother earth.
哦我就把手指插♥进♥原先的土壤
If it comes up dry,I just whip out my hose and give it a good spritz.
如果是干的我就把管子找出来多浇些水
And then?
然后呢?
Then I carefully plant the seed in the soil.
然后小心地把种子埋到土里
Carefully?
小心地?
Why carefully?
为什么要小心地?
Well,because if you just fling that stuff around,
噢因为如果你就那么随便一撒
half of it's wasted.
一半的种子就浪费掉了
You hear that,alan?
听到了吗艾伦?
If you fling your seed around,it gets wasted.
如果你把种子随便一撒就会浪费了
Fascinating. Let's go.
有意思咱们走吧.
Now hold on,hold on.
等一等等等.
How do you feel about bushes,herb?
你怎么看灌木丛的哈珀?
Well,I like a full bush.
哦我喜欢完全天然的灌木
The way god intended.
上帝创造的
I like 'em trimmed.
我还是喜欢修剪后的
What about you,alan? We're going.
你呢艾伦? 我们走吧
Bye,herb. Bye,fellas.
再见哈珀再见兄弟们
Why do you do that to him?
你为什么那么对他?
It amuses me.
让自己开心啊
alan: Oh,great. So I will pick you up tonight at 7:00.
哦太好了那么我今晚七点去接你
Yeah,yeah,I'm-I'm really looking forward to it.
好的我-我非常期待
Okay,okay,bye.
好的再见
Judith said cynthia wouldn't go out with me,and she was wrong,s
朱迪丝说辛西亚不会跟我出去她错了
Hey,I told you she'd go out with you.
嘿我告诉你了她会的
And you were right,sir.
先生你是对的
I ignore you at my own peril
说到女人酒和性病
when it comes to women,liquor and venereal disease.
安全起见我还是忽略你的看法比较好
Then listen to me now.
那么现在注意听我说
be prepared for sex tonight.
做好今晚嘿♥咻♥的准备
Sex? It'S...
嘿♥咻♥? 这是...
it's a first date.
这才是第一次约会
Not really.
不完全是
You and cynthia are old friends.
你和辛西亚是老朋友了.
You know each other,and you like each other.
你们互相了解互相喜欢
You might as well smell like each other.
你们也许体味都是一样的
No,I don't think so.
不我不这么想
Not cynthia. Not cynthia?
辛西亚不行辛西亚不行?
Alan,the woman's pushing 40.
艾伦这个女人快到40了
She's coming off a divorce and praying that her looks hold out long enough
她已经离婚了正希望自己的容貌还有足够的吸引力
so she can snag some pathetic loser
那样的话她就能抓住几个她五年前
she wouldn't have been caught dead with five years ago.
死也不愿意要的可悲的失败者
Oh,boy,I'm getting laid tonight!
哦老兄我今晚可以嘿♥咻♥了!
I'm saying.
我只是说说而已
Oh,I wish I could rub judith's nose in this.
哦我真希望能用这事儿当面嘲笑朱迪丝
That would be a huge "ha!"
那将会是一个超大的"哈!"
Don't worry,judith'll find out.
别担心朱迪丝会发现的
Are you gonna tell her?
你会告诉她吗?
No. Would you?
不会你会吗?
Alan,cynthia will tell her.
艾伦辛西亚会告诉她
Oh,right,right. They're friends.
哦对没错她们是朋友
More importantly,they're women.
更重要的是她们是女人
And you know how they are--blah,blah,blah.
你也知道的--哇啦哇啦哇啦
They tell each other everything.
她们无话不谈
Trust mei 'l'lbe like judith is watching every move you make tonight.
相信我朱迪丝今晚会关注你的一举一动
Every move?
一举一动?
So bring your a-game.
所以把你的绝活拿出来
Right,right.
是啊没错
what if I don't have an a-game?
如果我没有绝活呢?
You'd better find one,'cause you don't wanna get yanked off the mound.
你最好有一个要不你就可能被扫地出门
Where you going?
你去哪儿?
Warm up the ol' pitching arm.
活动活动我的老胳膊老腿
I'm using a metaphor.
我是打个比方
So am I.
我也是
oh,alan,I have fantasized about this for so long.
哦艾伦我已经幻想这个很久了
Me,too.
我也是
Ever since we all went to disneyworld
从我们去迪士尼乐园
and you wore that white t-shirt on splash mountain.
你穿着一件白色T恤被喷泉浇湿了开始
Are you sure this isn't going too fast?
你觉得我们是不是进展太快了?
Not a chance.
完全不会
I've been warming up all afternoon.
今天下午我一直在热身
Judith: Oh,real smooth,alan.
哦非常顺利艾伦
Go ahead. I'm just gonna sit here anwatch every move you make.
继续我就坐在这儿观察你的一举一动
Oh,alan,that was remarkable!
哦艾伦这次太非同寻常了!
remarkable good,right?
非同寻常的好是吧?
Oh,yeah.
哦是啊
I have to admit,I was a little worried that this might be awkward.
我得承认我担心这也许会很怪
How come?
为什么?
Well,I mean,you know,I am friends with judith.
呃我的意思是你知道的我和朱迪丝是朋友
We do talk.
我们会讨论啊
No kidding?
是吗?
Well,the next time you talk,
喔你们下次讨论的时候
be sure you use the word "remarkable."
记得用这个词 "非同寻常的"
Alan,I'm not like that.
艾伦我不会那么做的
I mean,I believe in discretion.
我的意思是我可是很自律的
Really? I think it's overrated.
是吗? 我觉得没必要那么自律
Go ahead,tell her.
没关系告诉她吧
No.
不
In fact,you know,I wish judith had a little more discretion.
实际上我希望朱迪丝也能自律一点
What do you mean?
你的意思是?
Well,she just goes on and on about her sex life with herb.
哦她一直不断地谈论她和哈珀的性生活
Big bird's pretty boring,huh?
傻大个非常无聊是吧?
No.
不是的
I mean,the way she tells it,he is an amazing lover.
我的意思是她说他是一个超级棒的情人
Yeah,that's what I thought... wait.
是啊我也是这么想的... 等下
Wait,wait. Herb melnick is an amazing lover?
等等哈珀梅尔尼克是个超棒的情人?
Yeah. She said he's the best that she's ever had.
是啊她说是有过的最棒的一个了
No. No.
不不会的
That...that... that can't possibly be right.
那...那个... 那不可能
How can that be?
怎么会呢?
Well,apparently he's just... no.
呃他很显然... 不行
I can't go into that.
我不该说这些
Sure,you can. Go ahead.
你当然可以说继续
No. It wouldn't be right.
不要了这么做不对
I'm sorry. Just forget I said anything.
抱歉把我说的那些都忘了吧
Best she's ever had.
她有过的最好的
Oh,herb,you're the best I've ever had.
哦哈珀你是最棒的
Morning. Morning.
早早
So,how did it go last night?
昨晚怎么样啊?
You were right. We had sex.
你说得没错我们嘿♥咻♥了
Then why the long face,seabiscuit?
那干嘛还拉长个脸海洋饼干? (注:海洋饼干为一部电影中的马的名字）
You're so much better than the only other man I've ever been with.
你比我的其他男人好太多了
I've just got something on my mind.
我只是在想一些事
Like what?
比如?
I had no idea what I was missing.
我不知道我错过什么了
Forget it.
算了吧
Oh,come on.
喂说啊
What's bothering you? Nothing.I'm fine.
你在烦什么啊? 没什么我很好
Oh,come on!
哦拜托!
Come on,what?
什么拜托啊?