好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E10
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:08 p.m.
Come on, dad, I wasn't even born 20 years ago.
拜托老爸 二十年前我还没出生
I really shouldn't be giving him advice that could help him reproduce, should I?
我真不该教他这些 随时闹出人命的道理
oh, it's just you.
原来是你
Hey.
嘿
What are you doing?
你在干嘛?
I'm drinking some of your finest scotch and looking at my high school yearbook.
边喝你的威士忌 边看高中纪念册
I can't help wondering how my life would've turned out if she hadn't dumped me.
我在想要是她没甩我 我现在会是怎么样
Come on, your life turned out great.
别这样 你生活挺好的
Well, it wouldn't have turned out any better.
不会比现在更好了
You know what?
你知道吗?
I'm gonna call her and find out why she broke my heart.
我要打电♥话♥给她 问她当年为什么那么狠心
Good thinking.
好主意
Call your high school girlfriend drunk at 2:00 in the morning.
凌晨两点醉醺醺打给你高中女友
While you're at it, why don't you expose yourself to an undercover policewoman?
你待会打的时候 怎么不顺便向卧底女警自首?
Some people do that.
有的人会这么干
I need closure.
我要个交代
I need to understand why she dumped me.
我要知道她为什么甩我
What's to understand?
有什么难理解的?
This is her?
这是她?
This is you.
这是你
Peaches and cream complexion.
桃脸细皮
You.
你
Cheerleader.
啦啦队员
You.
你
Stop me anytime.
随时叫停我
I don't care.
我不在乎
I got number off the internet and I'm calling her.
我在网上查到她的号♥码 现在我就打给她
Oh, man.
兄弟
Enwh're they gonna invent a phone with a breathalyzer lock?
什么时候能发明个电♥话♥用的 呼吸鉴别锁?
Shh, it's ringing.
嘘! 通了
Hello?
喂?
Hello, is this charity?
喂 是Charity吗?
Hi, charity.
你好 Charity
This is alan harper.
我是艾伦 哈珀
Yeah, yeah, from high school.
对对 高中那个
Anyway...
这么说吧...
yeah, I know it's late.
对 我知道很晚了
Yeah, I know I'm drunk.
对 我知道我醉了
Listen, I just need to ask you one question.
听着 我只是想问你个问题
Why did you dump me on the night before the junior prom?
大三舞会前夜你为什么甩我?
Okay, okay.
好 好
Okay, thanks.
好 谢谢
Go back to sleep.
回去睡吧
She said to ask my brother Char...arlie.
她叫我问我的哥哥查...理
oh, that's why.
噢 原来如此
Morning.
早
Morning.
早
You found the stash, huh?
你找到他的藏货了?
Wasn't well hidden.
藏得不够深
Okay, just for the record, that stuff's medicinal.
好吧 事先说明 那东西有治疗作用
I've got glaucoma.
我有青光眼 (估计是说留点给她 能治眼病)
What are you talking about?
你在说什么?
Nothing.
没什么
Morning.
早
Morning.
早
So where'd you disappear to last night?
昨晚跑哪去了?
Me?I decided to take a little drive,
我? 我出去兜兜风
give you a chance to calm down about charity kirschenbaum.
给你机会冷静下
I'm perfectly calm.
我很冷静
Good.
那就好
Who's charity kirschenbaum?
Charity Kirschenbaum是谁?
It's just a little thing that's not worth getting upset about and...
只是个不值得为其伤心的无谓人
hey!What the hell are you doing with my cookies?!
嘿! 你拿我的饼干干什么?!
They're yours?
你的?
You know they're mine.
你明知的
So you're saying I took something that belonged to you and you're upset?
所以你的意思是我拿了原属于 你的东西你会不高兴咯?
Oh, come on, alan.
拜托 艾伦
I loved charity kirschenbaum and you stole her right out from under me!
我爱查瑞迪· 科什巴姆而你却背着我把她抢走
He's speaking metaphorically, right?
他在打比方吧? (歧义 原文是"从我身下抢走")
Yeah, he was never on top of that.
当然 他什么时候有在上面过
I would've been, if it weren't for you.
要不是你的话 我早得手了
Okay fine, I took your girl 20 years ago.
好吧我错了 我20年前挖了你墙角
That calls for maybe five, six cookies, tops.
那顶多就值五 六块饼
Not the whole damn bag.
不至于全部扫光吧?!
I had to go to junior prom with cousin phoebe!
你害我不得不带着Phoebe表妹 去参加舞会!
She was cute.
她很可爱啊
She was 12 and in a body cast!
她只有12岁 还没发育哪!
So what?She was your cousin.
那又如何? 她是你表妹
She could have been 18 and in a cellophane bikini, and you weren't gonna get any.
等她18岁穿上透明比基尼的时候 你就请不了她了
You are a horrible human being and I hope you burn in hell!
你这个恶毒的男人 下地狱吧!
So we're good?
那我们和好了吗?
No!
不!
We are not good!
我们没和好!
We suck!
我们没完!
freshen that up for you? Thanks.
加点? 谢谢
You betrayed me!
你背叛我!
I hate you!
我恨你!
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!!
我恨你! 我恨你!! 我恨你!!!
Sounds like he's going for a bike ride.
听起来他像是去骑自行车了
Hello, nicole o'malley?
你好 Nicole O'malley吗?
Jake harper here.
我是杰克 哈珀
Harper.
哈珀
I sit next to you in geometry class.
上几何课时我坐在你旁边
No, the other side.
不是 另一边
Yeah, with the big head.
对 和大头坐一起
I was wondering if you would go to the winter dance with me.
你愿意和我一起去参加冬季舞会吗?
Really?
真的?
Are you sure?
你确定?
Well, great.
太棒了
I guess I'll see you in school.Bye.
那我们就在学校见 再见
Uncle charlie's a genius.
查理叔叔真是个天才
In a sense.
某些方面吧
But there's book smart and nook smart.
但他把聪明发挥在鬼点子上 而不是功课上
Would you get that, berta?!
听见了吗 贝塔?!
What?!
什么?!
The door!
门铃!
I can't hear you!
我听不见你说什么!
I said, would you get the door?
我说 你能去开门吗?
I can't!I'm upstairs!
不行! 我在楼上呢!
Hi, judith.Jake, your mom's here!
你好 朱迪丝 杰克 你妈妈来了!
Did you talk to him?
你和他聊了吗?
I did.
是的
Hey, mom.
嗨 妈妈
Hey, honey, how's it going?
嗨 宝贝儿 过得怎么样?
Great.Uncle charlie's a genius.
好极了 查理大伯真是个天才
Good, good.
很好
You said you talked to him.
你不是和他谈了吗
I did.
是的
Then why is uncle charlie a genius?
那么为什么说查理大伯是天才呢?
'Cause he never got married.
因为他一直都没结婚
Oh, that's gonna come back to bite me in the ass.
肯定回头要和我算帐的
and here it comes, jaws a-snappin'.
果不其然 张牙舞抓来了
All right, I'm sorry!
好吧 对不起!
Why are you sorry?
为什么说对不起呢?
I just find it's easier that way.
我只是觉得那样比较轻松
Okay.Is charlie at home?
查理在家吗?
Oh, no, he, uh, he went out a couple of hours ago.
没有 他几个小时以前就出去了
I've been trying to call him on his cell but he doesn't answer.
我给他打手♥机♥ 一直没人接
Well, please tell him I stopped by.
那好吧 请转告他我来过
Sure, sure thing.
当然 没问题
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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