好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E05
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:07 p.m.
Up in the sky
在天上
Grab your firehose, let it fly!
用你的水管扑灭大火!
Close your windows
关上窗
Lock your doors
锁好门
'Cause when I rain, it really pours.
我会让这里落雨成河
There you go.
这不就好啦
Hey,hey,hey.
喂!
I'm the only one who gets to pee on my feet.
只有我能尿到我脚上!
Come on,buddy, right in here.
来吧 就在这里
Hey,Berta, look what I got.
贝塔 瞧我带谁回来了
Big deal... it's a freaking miracle you don't have ten of 'em.
很稀奇啊?你没10个小孩才是个奇迹
This is Linda's son,Brandon.
这是琳达的儿子Brandon
I'm Brandon.
我是Brandon
I got ears.
我有耳朵
So,what's he doing here?
他来这干吗?
I'm baby-sitting.
我要给他当保姆
You? Why not me?
你? 不行吗?
You're a rum-soaked degenerate.
你是个道德败坏的醉鬼
Yeah,but it turns out, I have child skills.
是呀 但我有照顾小孩的天赋
I already got him to eat his vegetables and make pee-pee in the toilet.
我成功的让他吃了蔬菜 并在厕所尿尿
So,"Do as I say, not as I do," huh?
"照我说的做 别有样学样" 是吗?
Ha. Ha. Ha.
好好笑
Are you gonna help me or what?
你要不要帮忙?
Hey,his mom's not throwing me any.
他妈又不付我钱
Don't get the wrong idea.
别会错意
Your mom and I are actually in a committed relationship.
你妈跟我忠于彼此
So if I sign up for this drug trial...
如果我签约参加药物实验...
I take these pills not knowing
就会在不知情的情况下
if I'm getting the actual anxiety medication or a placebo?
服下抗焦虑药或是无效对照剂?
That's correct.
对
The test group gets the actual medication,
试验组服用真药
and the control group is being given sugar pills.
对照组吃的是糖片
So,is there anything I should know about?
还有什么需要知道的吗?
Any side effects or anything?
副作用之类的?
Well,that's one of the purposes of the research,
那是本研究的目的之一
but in tests of this nature,
但这种性质的试验中
common side effects include dry mouth,hair loss,
通常会有如下副作用
blurred vision,inflamed gums...
口干 脱发 视线模糊 牙龈红肿
Okay.
好的
...mild nausea,heart palpitations,liver damage...
恶心 心跳加速 肝脏损坏...
...boils,shingles,
起疖 带状疱疹
sudden fainting and temporary darkening of the stool.
突然晕厥以及短期大便变黑
Good Lord.
天
How much do you pay people to do this?
你们给参加者多少钱?
A thousand dollars a week.
每周1000块
I'm in.
我♥干♥
Hey,hey,hey,hey.
喂喂
That's not a toy.
那可不是玩具
That's how I make my living.
那是我的谋生工具
Not so much anymore, but still,be careful.
虽然不再是了 但还是要小心
I want to play.
我想弹
All right.
好吧
Play... this one.
弹这个键
And... this one.
还有这个
That's great.
真棒
Now it's my turn.
现在轮到我了
This is a little tune I wrote for my nephew
这是我给外甥写的小调
when he was feeling down in the dumps.
让他忧郁时听的
I know that the winter follows the fall
我知道秋去冬将至
And in New York, the buildings are tall
纽约的建筑都很高
I hear that in China, they have a great wall
我听说中国有长城
I know these things and more
我知道很多事情
But there's just one answer I'm still looking for...
但仍在寻找一个答案...
Who cut the cheese?
谁切了芝士?
Who cut the cheese?!
谁切了芝士?
I ask you please, did you cut the cheese?
请问 你切了芝士?
I'm not averse to learning
我并不厌学
Tell me why my eyes are burning
但为何我双眼疼痛?
Who cut the cheese?
谁切了芝士?
Everybody!
大家一起来!
Who cut the cheese?
谁切了芝士?
Who cut the cheese?
谁切了芝士?
I ask you please, did you cut the cheese?
请问 你切了芝士?
I'm not averse to learning
我并不厌学
Tell me why my eyes are burning
但为何我双眼疼痛?
Who cut the cheese...?
谁切了芝士?
I can't thank you enough.
我对你感激不尽
No problem. We had fun.
不客气 玩的很开心
Look,um,after I drop him off at his dad's,
听着 我把他送到他爸爸那后
why don't I come back and show my appreciation for those earrings?
过来感谢你送我耳环好不?
Gee,I'd love to,but it's been a long day.
我想的 但今天很累了
I just want to soak in a hot bath and have a little "me" time.
我想泡个热水澡 单独待会
Oh,come on,Charlie.
来吧 查理
Hey,hey,while you were off having fun at work,
你在尽情工作时
I was cooped up all day in this house taking care of your child.
我整天都在家里照顾孩子
Okay,sorry.
好吧 对不起
I'm just saying...
我是说...
I'm not a light switch.
我不是电灯开关
I'll call you later.
我晚点给你电♥话♥
No,wait,wait.
等等
I made something for Brandon.
我给Brandon做了点东西
I sang some songs for him, and he seemed to like them,so I burned 'em onto a CD.
他喜欢我给他唱的歌♥ 我录了张CD
Oh,how sweet.
你真是太体贴了
Sweet?
体贴?
Clearly,you're not familiar with my work.
你明显不了解我的作品
Anyway,he seemed to dig it.
他反正很喜欢
Well,thank you.
谢谢你
Hi... Alan.
你好 艾伦
Hi.
你好
I don't think I'm in the control group.
我想我不是对照组的
Are you really sure you should be taking those pills with beer?
你确定那些药可以跟啤酒服用?
What else can happen to me,Charlie?
在我身上还能出什么事 查理?
My hair is coming out. I'm having fainting spells...
我落发 时不时头晕...
I can see my heart beating through my shirt
我能透过衬衣看到自己心跳
and my poop looks like charcoal briquets.
大便看起来像煤饼
So stop taking the medication.
那就别吃药了啊
It's a thousand dollars a week. We need the money.
每周给1千块 我们需要这笔钱
Oh,relax. Something'll turn up.
别紧张 会有好事发生的
Something's already turned up.
已经有了
I'm pretty sure I dropped a third testicle.
我长了第三个睾丸出来
Hello?
你好?
Hang on.
等等
It's Linda's ex-husband.
琳达的前夫
He wants to talk to you.
他要跟你通话
I don't want to talk to him. You talk to him.
我不想跟他说 你跟他说
I'm not gonna talk to him.
我才不要
Come on,you've got 30% more balls than I do.
你比我多一个种啊(睾丸= =)!
Hello.
你好
Yeah,this is Charlie.
我是查理
What about Brandon?
Brandon怎么了?
Oh,good,good.
很好
I'm-I'm glad he likes the songs.
很高兴他喜欢那些歌♥
Yeah,Linda mentioned you were in the music business.
琳达提过你是音乐界的
Well,that's flattering,
哇 我真是受宠若惊
but I already have a very lucrative career writing jingles.
我现在写广♥告♥歌♥收入颇丰
I don't see myself walking away from that to record children's songs.
不想放弃这个转写儿童歌♥曲
How much?
多少钱?
I'm in.
我♥干♥
How about that? Something turned up.
如何? 好事发生啦
Send the papers over.
把文件寄过来
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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