好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E17
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:10 p.m.
Previously on Two and a Half Men...
前情提要
Darling, what's mine is yours.
亲爱的 我的就是你的
We do not need a preup.
我们不需要婚前财产公♥证♥
And I just want you to know I'm not after your father's money.
我想让你知道 我并不是因为钱和你♥爸♥爸结婚
I'm sure you're not.
我确定你不是
Believe me, I got plenty of my own money.
我相信 我自己也很有钱
Everything okay?
一切都好?
No, no, everything is not okay.
不 啥都不好
Courtney, we've been through this.
考特尼 我们已经讨论过了
What am I supposed to do, live on the streets?
那我该怎么办? 流落街头?
You're supposed to live within your means.
你应该靠你自己生活
I need $50,000.
我需要5万美金
Charlie, what am I going to do?
查理 我以后怎么办?
You're going to take the money from me.
我会给你钱
"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
"只要人类尚存 我们互相凝视"
so long lives this and gives life... to thee."
"这诗将永存 让你青春常在"
You may now kiss the bride.
你现在可以亲吻新娘了
It's hard to believe after all these years we've got a new stepdad.
很难相信这么多年后 我们又得到一个继父
I give it six months.
我打赌只有六个月
Oh, come on, we like Teddy.
哦 得了 我们喜欢泰迪
That's why I'm only giving it six months.
这就是为什么我只赌六个月的原因
I'm rooting for him.
我相信他
Well, still, y-you have to admit it was a beautiful ceremony
但你必须承认这个结婚典礼很美
the bride and the groom, the sun setting...
新郎和新娘 伴随着日落
The dead butterflies.
还有死的蝴蝶
Remind me to call the butterfly people first thing Monday.
提醒了我礼拜一第一件事就是 给提供蝴蝶的人打电♥话♥
What are you doing?
你在干什么?
Nothing.
没什么
We don't eat from the cake until we cut the cake.
蛋糕得等我们切了之后才能吃
But I'm still hungry.
但我还饿着呢
Have some cheese.
吃点奶酪
Have we cut the cheese?
奶酪切了吗?
Get it?
如何?
Hey, stepbrother.
嘿 哥哥
Change your mind about wanting to marry me?
还没改变和我结婚的主意吧?
Not at all.
一点也没有
Want to go upstairs and get a head start on our honeymoon?
想上楼去开始我们的蜜月吗?
You keep rubbing up against me,
你一直这样在我身上蹭
I'll be able to catch my mom's garter without my hands.
我就快可以不用手 就能抓住我妈妈的吊袜带了
Charlie. What?
查理 怎么?
At your mother's wedding?
在你妈妈的婚礼上搞这个?
Yeah.
是的
I couldn't have.
我可不会帮你收拾烂摊子
Boy, this is pretty kinky.
有古怪的感觉
Kinky good or kinky bad?
好的方面还是坏的?
There's a kinky bad?
怎么可能有坏的?
Oh, watch your elbow.
小心你的手肘
That's not my elbow.
那不是我的
Oh, Charlie.
哦 查理
It's not that either.
那个也不是我的
Daddy?
爸爸?
Ooh, this is awkward.
这太尴尬了
Daddy, are you okay?
爸爸 你还好吗?
What's wrong with him?
他怎么了?
I don't know.
我不知道
Well?
怎么样?
This might be a mood breaker.
气氛完全被破坏了
So are you a friend of the bride or the groom?
你是新郎的朋友还是新娘的?
Uh, well, the bride is my mother, so... the groom.
新娘是我母亲 但我是新郎的朋友
Hey, how do you like my house?
你喜欢我的房♥子吗?
Oh, it's beautiful.
很美
Alan, I have to talk to you.
艾伦 我有话跟你说
Go away, I've a shot here.
走开 我这很有机会
No, you don't.
不 你没有
Come upstairs with me.Why?
跟我上楼 为什么?
Just come on.
走吧
Friend of the bride or friend of the groom?
新娘的朋友还是新郎的?
Friend of mine.
是我的朋友
Oh, my God.
哦 天呐
Is he...? As a doorknob.
他是不是... 像个"门把手"
Doorbell? Doornail.
"门铃?" "门钉" (查理想说泰迪已经死了 但两次辞不达意 门钉也有死了的意思)
He's dead.
他死了
I can't believe he's gone.
我不能相信他就这么走了
Courtney, I-I'm so sorry.
考特尼 我对此深表遗憾
So he was just lying there with his pants down?
他就这么躺着 裤子还被脱了?
Apparently, somebody was giving him a very special wedding present.
很明显 有人给了他一个非常特别的结婚礼物
Mom?
妈妈?
I don't think so.
我可不这么认为
She's downstairs acting as if nothing happened, and more importantly,
她在下面表现得什么事都没发生 更重要的是
she already married the guy. Why would she bother?
她已经和他结婚了 她还那么着急干什么?
Your mother's looking for you guys.
你妈妈在找你们
What's going on?
这里怎么了?
Teddy's dead.
泰迪死了
Yeah, that's a stiffy.
没错 都僵了
We've got a real problem here.
我们这可遇到一个真正的问题
What do you mean "we"?
"我们"是什么意思?
*Someday he'll come along
*有一天 我爱的人会来
*The man I love And he'll be big and strong
* 我爱的人 他强壮威武
*The man I love And when he comes my way
* 当他来到我身边
*I'll do my best
* 我会竭尽所能
*To make him Stay
* 将他留住
Oh, this is just going to suck.
局面将会很难堪
*The man I love
* 我挚爱的男人
Thank you, thank you.
谢谢 谢谢
Now, this next song you may remember
下面这曲 你们会有印象的
from the hit movie Ghost.
来自经典影片"人鬼情未了"
*Oh, my love
* 我的爱人 我的甜心
My darling Mom.
妈妈
*I've hungered for your touch
* 我渴望你的触摸
Mom we got to talk to you.
妈妈 我们有话要和你说
*A long... What? Lonely time
* 寂寞的 * 说什么? * 漫长的岁月
It's about Teddy.
关于泰迪的
Where is he?
他在哪儿? 这歌♥应该是二重唱的
*This is supposed to be a duet. Time goes by so slowly
* 时光流逝 如此之慢
Yeah, well, from now on I'm afraid you're going to be working alone.
是的 但是从现在开始恐怕你只能一个人唱了
You son of a bitch.
你这个狗♥娘♥养♥的
So you weren't the one who was...?
所以你没有...
Of course not. I already married the man.
当然没有 我已经和他结婚了
I just can't believe he'd cheat on me on our wedding day.
我只是不能相信他会在 我们结婚这天对我不忠
Excuse me.
不好意思
My father is lying here dead.
但我爸爸已经死了
With his pants around his ankles and lipstick on his hoo-hoo.
裤子都拖到脚踝了 那儿还沾有口红
Oh, my, what happened in here?
这发生什么了?
Berta, my husband is dead.
贝塔 我丈夫死了
As a doornail.
像"门钉"一样 (俚语 因为门钉总是给钉得死死的)
Has anybody called the cops?
有人报♥警♥了吗
Well, you might want to consider it because you only got a limited window
你们可以考虑一下了 因为当他发臭了
before he starts stinking up the joint.
这里只有一扇狭窄的窗户可以通风
I'll make the calls.
我来打吧
Oh, no, Mom, you don't have to.
妈妈 你不必的
Yes, I do. I'm his wife.
不 我要打 我是他的妻子
Now, please, would you all just give me a moment alone with him?
现在能让我和他单独呆一会儿吗?
Of course. Sure, Mom.
当然可以 好的 妈妈
So who do you suppose was smoking Teddy's sausage?
你们说泰迪那儿的口红印是谁的?
Berta, that is my father in there.
贝塔 我爸爸还在里面
Okay.
好的
So who do you suppose was smoking your father's sausage?
那你说你♥爸♥爸那儿的口红印是谁的?
Oh, Teddy. My dear, dear Teddy.
哦 泰迪 亲爱的 亲爱的
Hello.
你好
This is Evelyn Harper Leopold.
我是伊夫琳 哈珀 利奥波德
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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