好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S05E05
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 2:07 p.m.
Well,I must've called 20 times.
我至少打了20次
Fine.
算了
I have to go to New York tonight and I can't take Brandon.
我今晚要去纽约 没法照顾Brandon
Butlhave company. And I have an emergency board...
但我有客人 我有个紧急会议
Who are you?
你是谁?
I'm Charlie.
我是查理
I'm Brandon.
我是Brandon
Nice to meet you,Brandon.
幸会 Brandon
You know...
你知道吗...
I have a nephew about your age.
我有个侄子像你这么大
Hey,Dad,did you give Mom a present when you got divorced?
爸爸 你和妈离婚时有送礼物吗?
A present?
礼物?
Yeah,a mento of your time together.
证明你们共处时光的信物
Jake,buddy,you're the memento of our time together.
杰克老大 你就是我们共处时光的信物
So you were too cheap to get her earrings.
那么就是说你买♥♥不起耳环
She did better than earrings.
她得到的比耳环珍贵多了
She got my family jewels.
她戴着我家祖传的珠宝
Hi,honey. Hi,Mom.
嗨 亲爱的 嗨 妈妈
When you die,do I get Dad's family jewels?
你死后 老爸的祖传珠宝能传我吗?
What?
什么?
Nothing. Just go inside.
没什么 进去吧
Okay,well,thanks for dropping him off.
好吧 麻烦你跑这趟了
Uh,Judith,hang on a second.
朱迪丝 等等
What?
什么事?
Um... how's it going?
最近好吗?
Good.
好
So your,uh,your new marriage going well?Herb's okay?
新婚愉快吗? 哈珀好吗?
What do you want,Alan?
你想干什么 艾伦?
Charlie's jingle business is dead, and I'm going to be homeless.
查理失业了 我很快又无家可归了
Well,you can't stayhere.
你不能住这
Oh,no,no...
不 不...
That's not what I was getting at,
我不是这意思
but it's good to know that door is firmly closed.
但知道大门没有为我敞开 也不是坏事
Uh,no,what I was hoping was that we could talk about the child support.
我是想谈谈孩子的抚养方法
What about my child support?
我的抚养方法怎么了?
Ah,ah. Well,technically it's Jake's child support,
技术上来讲 是杰克的抚养方法
hence the term "child," um...
因为是"抚养"嘛...
But I-I just thought maybe we could make some trims.
我只是想着为孩子做些安排
Uh,for instance, the karate classes,
比如空手道课
the,uh,archery lessons,
箭术课
the algebra tutor.
代数辅♥导♥
I mean,I don't know about you,
我不知道你怎么样
but,uh,I've never seen him, you know,
但我从来没见过他...就是...
break a board or,uh, string a bow.
踢碎木板 拉拉弓
And,uh,and the algebra tutor, I mean,who are we kidding?
至于代数 咱们就别自欺欺人了
That's like putting swim fins on a cat.
那就等于给猫硬装一对鳍
He needs the tutor; he likes the lessons;
他需要学代数 他喜欢箭术
and I'm not going to ask Herb to pay for them.
我不可能叫哈珀来为这些埋单
That's okay. I'll ask him. Is he home?
没关系 我来叫 他在家吗?
Good-bye,Alan.
不送了 艾伦
How about I stay in Jake's tree house?!He never uses it!
我住在杰克的树屋里怎么样?! 他从来不用!
Kid doesn't even like to climb stairs.
现在孩子爬个楼梯都懒得
Come on,sweetheart, just one little bite.
听话 宝贝 吃一小口
No.
不要
He's not usually this cranky.
他平常不会这么淘气
Have you tried a little whiskey in his sippy cup?
有没试过给他小杯里加点威士忌?
Charlie.
查理
I'm just saying. It worked on my brother.
实话实说 我哥吃这套
You really did that?
你真的这么干?
I still do it.
现在还是
You know what? I'm just going to make him a hot dog.
我还是给他做个热狗吧
You want a hot dog?
你要热狗吗?
Sure.
要
I was talking to my son.
我问我儿子
What,you just got the one?
怎么 你只做一个?
I'll be right back.
马上就好
Come on,kid,just have a little corn,and then bedtime.
拜托 小朋友 吃点玉米片就去睡觉
For both of us.
我也去睡
No.
不
Oh,for the love of God.
上帝
I don't come to Gymboree and knock the blocks out ofyourhand.
我不是来儿童乐园跟你玩丢小球的
Come on.
来嘛
It's corn-tastic.
玉米一级棒
I like corn, it tastes real sweet
我喜欢玉米 味道甜甜
I don't like peas They taste like feet
我讨厌豆豆 味道臭臭
Corn's the king of the veggie food group
玉米是素菜大王
And it looks the same when it's in your poop.
跟你的便便一模样
Son of a bitch.
兔崽子
I mean,"Golly!"
我意思是"神了!"
Hi,Mom.
嗨 妈!
Hello,Alan.
好啊 艾伦
Uh... got a minute?
有时间吗?
Mm... sure.
当然
I -I mean,could you come to the door?
我意思是你能出来吗?
Uh... no.
噢 不
Please. Mom,it's important.
说真的 妈 重要事
I'm... I'm having a real crisis here.
我真的大难临头了
Oh,darling,I'm so sorry.
亲爱的 太遗憾了
Well,good luck with that.
祝你好运
Mom,please.
妈 求你了
I'm such a pushover.
我心太软了
The money isn't just for me.
钱不只是我花的
It's for Charlie and your only grandson.
还有查理和你的独孙
I'll just be a minute,Teddy!
马上回来 泰迪!
What can I do for you,Alan?
有何能为你效劳 艾伦?
Nothing. Never mind.
没事了 算了
What? I'm not entitled to a love life?
怎么? 我就不能享受感情生活?
I'm ready for my punishment, headmaster.
我准备好接受惩罚了 校长
So... you must be getting tired,huh?
看来...你一定很累了吧?
No shame in calling it a night.
玩了整晚不累才怪
I got to go pee-pee.
我要去嘘嘘
All right,go ahead.
好 去吧
First pee-pee,then beddy-bye.
先嘘嘘 然后晚安
Beats the other way around. Trust me.
别想歪咯 相信我
I got to go pee-pee now.
我现在就要嘘嘘
Linda,he says he's got to go pee-pee!
琳达 他说要嘘嘘!
Would you mind taking him?
你带下他好吗?
Me?
我?
He can't undo his pants, and I'm doing the dishes.
他不会脱裤子 我还在洗碗
Fine. Let's go pee-pee.
好吧 咱们嘘嘘去
Don't feel bad.
别难过
I can't always undo my pants,either.
我有时也不能自己脱裤子
What are you waiting for?
你在等什么?
I don't have to anymore.
我不想嘘了
Linda,he says he doesn't have to anymore!
琳达 他说他又不想嘘嘘了!
Trust me: he has to.
相信我 他想的
You heard the lady. Let 'er rip.
你听到了 放吧
No.
不
Okay.
好
Okay,how about this?
好 这样吧?
You're a giant, and there's a...
假设你是个巨人
there's a tiny village in the toilet bowl that's on fire,
而马桶里有个小村庄起火了
and you have to put it out by whizzing all over it.
而你必须用嘘嘘把火扑灭
Hey,look!
瞧!
Here comes the giant now!
巨人来了!
I had a root beer
我喝了乐啤露 (植物根酿造的果子类饮品)
I had a Coke
我喝了可乐
I need to pee
必须要尿尿
Hey,I smell smoke.
因为我闻到烟味
Giant,giant
巨人 巨人!
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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