神兽

The Unicorn S01E17

Part 4 April 19, 2021, 8:52 a.m.

to eat anything that seems like candy?
说句公道话
Well, to be fair,
我小时候还吃过一块儿
when I was a kid, I once ate an eraser
甜筒形状的橡皮呢
shaped like an ice cream cone.
当时有个一年级的小朋友吃橡皮泥
There was a kid in first grade who ate paste.
七年之后我还约他出去过
I asked him out, like, seven years later.
- 你跟那个吃橡皮泥的约过 - 没有
You dated the paste eater?No.
他把我拒了我紧张得脚都出汗了
Because he turned me down. And my feet got all sweaty,
我还穿着那种透明的果冻鞋
and I was wearing those clear jelly shoes.
还记得吗我落荒而逃
Remember those? And when I tried
一跑起来鞋就会发出放屁的声音
to run away, they just made that farty sound.
天啊
Oh! I...
尴尬死了
I could've died.
我第三喜欢的神奇宝贝是雅普
My third favorite Pokémon is Yamper.
他的狗会放电
He's a dog who can shoot electricity.
牛
Cool.
中学时光最难熬了
Oh, middle school was terrible.
糟透了我11岁的时候就长到这么高了
It's the worst. You know, I was this height when I was 11.
对了我有没有告诉过你
Oh, did I ever tell you
上八年级的时候
when I was in the eighth grade,
我试着自己修眉毛
I tried to trim my own eyebrows?
修过头了
Yeah, I overdid it
右边眉毛只剩下半截
and only had half my right one.
我第六喜欢的是阿普林
My sixth favorite is Applin.
他是个苹果
He's an apple.
- 但是他和 - 你想喝苏打水吗
But he's tied with...Do you want a soda?
我去给咱们拿瓶苏打水
I'm gonna go get us a soda.
后来我想把左边的眉毛
And then I tried to even it out
也弄得平均一点
with my left one.Mm-hmm.
大错特错
Mistake.
那你怎么办了
So, what'd you do?
我只能用毛笔了
Well, I only had a felt-tip pen. Mm-hmm.
不过于事无补
That was not the solution.
你就这么去上学了
And you went to school like that?
然后谁见了我都问你干吗一副吃惊的样子
People kept asking me why I looked so surprised.
啊
What?!
真的吗
Are you serious?
- 没想到吧 - 对没想到吧
Surprise! Yeah, surprise!
不过说真的你别这样做啊
But, seriously, don't do it,
会影响你眉毛的生长
your eyebrows don't grow back right.Oh, yeah.
- 拜拜朱迪 - 拜拜韦德谢了
Uh, bye, Judy.Bye, Wade. Thanks.
再见韦德
Bye, Wade.
好了猛♥男♥ 咱们走吧
Okay, slugger, let's go.
- 谢谢你辛西娅 - 再会韦德
Thanks, Cynthia.Bye, Wade.
嘿
Hey.
嗨
Hi.
我觉得
Look, I-I guess I just...
我可能就是吃醋了你跟达拉斯的事
I got a little jealous about the whole Dallas thing.
什么
What?
我完全没看出来
No. I couldn't tell.
你藏得太好了
I mean, you hid that so well.
对不起
I'm sorry.
我也对不起因为
Me, too. I'm sorry I... you know.
说我玩不起吗
Called me a little bitch?
如果我误导了你我向你道歉
I apologize if I led you on.
我以为我说清楚了你也知道我们是什么
I thought that I was really clear about what this was.
你是说清楚了我也以为我能接受
No, you were, and I thought that I was cool with it.
但很明显我的表现出♥卖♥♥♥了我
But clearly I wasn't.
我知道大家现在都这样
I know that this is how things are done these days,
不过老实说卡洛琳
but honestly, Caroline,
我觉得我做不到
I don't think I'm cut out for it.
你做不到正是因为你做不到
You're not, and the fact that you're not
才说明你是一个好男人
is what makes you... such a catch.
我的意思是对于那些想找个好男人的人来说
You know, I mean, for someone who's looking for a catch.
谢谢你达拉斯有你真是三生有幸
Thank you. Dallas is a very lucky guy.
别提了我已经把他甩了
Oh, no, I dumped him already.
他的真名是丹尼斯
You know, his real name is Dennis.
我就知道
Ah. I knew it. I mean...
咱们还是朋友吗
Friends?
- 对 - 谢谢你
Yeah. Oh, thank you.Yeah.
那就下周小组会再见
I'll, uh, I'll see you next week at group. Yeah.
没问题
Absolutely.
- 卡洛琳 - 我懂我懂朋友关系
Caroline!I know, I know. Just friends.
不过
Just...
那翘臀真让我欲罢不能
: Oh, I am gonna miss that butt. Oh.
我给达瑞尔的柜子里放了张情书
So I put a love note in Darrell's locker.
他一天都没跟我讲话
And then he ignored me all day.
然后史蒂芬·达科沃斯说他收到了我的情书
Then, Steven Duckworth told me he found my note,
然后对我表白他一直也爱着我
and confessed his love to me right then and there.
- 不会啊 - 就是
No! Yes!
我放错柜子了
I put it in the wrong locker,
也不忍♥心告诉他
and I didn't have the heart to tell him.
还得硬着头皮去跟他和他妈妈一起去看《小精灵2》
So I had to go see Gremlins 2 with him and his mom.
我的天啊
My gosh.
我呢
All right, so,
高二的时候我胳膊上汗毛疯长
sophomore year I started getting these really
又多又长
long, crazy arm hairs.
长得都从毛衣里面露出来了
And they're just poking through my sweaters, and...
我父母告诉我
So my parents said,
很正常啦有些女生就是这样的
"Oh, that's normal, that happens
但我知道他们是安慰我的
to some girls," but I knew...
上周一上化学课的时候
Okay, so, last Monday in chemistry,
贾斯汀穿了一件红色T恤
Justin was wearing this red T-shirt.
我夸他穿着好看然后他就一连
And I told him I liked it, and then he wore it
穿了三天
for three days in a row.
虽然有点恶心吧
Mm.Which is gross, I know.
但我以为他对我有意思呢
But I thought maybe it was because he liked me.
后来有一天我把我的蓝色水杯带到学校
And then the other day I brought my blue water bottle to school.
就是那个外面贴满贴纸的水杯
You know, the one with all the stickers on it.
结果他叫我VSCO女孩
And then he called me "VSCO girl."
我就纳闷了红T恤那一出难道是假的吗
And I was like, "Did the red shirt even happen?"
- 我明白了 - 你说到VSCO的时候我没听懂
I get it.You lost me at "VSCO."
我前面也没听懂
Actually, before that.
VSCO的意思是很普通
VSCO means "basic."
噢这样啊
Oh, I get you.Yeah.
不好意思我还是似懂非懂
Mm. Yes, yes. No, no. I'm sorry, I'm still lost.
不过不重要啦
Oh, well. It doesn't matter.
重点是八年级就是烂
The point is, eighth grade sucks.
- 没错 - 每个人都
Yeah. Well, at least it sucks
觉得它很烂但我们都扛过来了
for everybody, and we all survive it.DELIA: Mm-hmm.
是的而且你知道吗
Yeah, and, you know,
我看了你胳膊毛不算长
I've seen your arms, and the hair's very fine,
你没什么可担心的
so you've got nothing to worry about.
- 你的情况比大部分人都好多了 - 你确定吗
You're just way ahead of that game.You sure?
我还从来没关注过自己胳膊上的毛
Never even thought about my arm hairs before.
你提胳膊上的毛干吗
Why are you bringing up arm hair?
不知道就觉得这么说会更有人情味一点
I don't know, I thought it would humanize me.
巧克力都去哪儿了
What happened to all the chocolate?
不许再吃了
No more.
你不是有局要赴吗
Aren't you supposed to be at dinner?
还真没错
Oh, he's right.
我们的预约三分钟后开始
Our reservation's in three minutes.
行吧我完美的出席记录要泡汤了
Oh, well, there goes my perfect open-table rating.
如果你快一点他们也许还能为你保留桌子
Maybe if you hurry, they won't give away your table?
不如咱们继续在这边聊天吧
Well, you know I'm down for us to keep hanging out here.
没问题我完全赞成
Yeah, that's cool. I'm all for it, yeah.
- 好啊 - 诺亚
Cool.Uh, Noah,
我们要享受一下女生时光去玩你的平板吧
we're having girls' time. Go play on your tablet.
你干嘛还要付她钱
Why are you even paying her?
我都自己给自己当保姆了
I'm babysitting myself over here.
各位