神兽

The Unicorn S01E04

Part 3 Nov. 22, 2019, 12:20 p.m.

直接去说啊他就在那里
Just talk to him, he's right there.
不好吧
No. Okay,
不是我在和韦德发消息
I'm not texting with Wade,
是索娅
Zoya is.
媚眼脸
Winky face.
这太有意思了
Oh, that is so funny.
瞧他刚发的哈哈大笑
Look, he just texted "LOL,"
但亲眼看到更棒
But it's nice to actually see it.
-等等你在和韦德发消息 -对
- Wait, you're texting Wade? - Yes.
-现在 -对
- Right now? - Yes.
-以索娅的身份 -你明白了
- As Zoya? - You get it.
不我不明白
No, I don't.
你为什么会和他一直聊
Why would you keep chatting with him?
他一直在回复我
He kept writing back.
我不想伤害他的感情
I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
本这是个人隐私
Ben, that is private.
我的天
Oh, my God.
你已经这么干好几天了
You've been doing this for days.
结果发现我们有好多共同点
Well, it turns out we have a lot in common.
你们当然有你们当了快十年的朋友
Of course you do. You've been friends for, like, ten years!
我知道我知道但我看到了他的另一面
I know, I know, I know, but I'm seeing a different side of him.
-简直 -只是无伤大雅的闲谈而已
- How... wh... - It's just harmless chitchat.
-你 -伙计们我
- You... - Hey, guys, I, um...
我感觉我喜欢上了一个人
I think I may have met someone.
-对 - 那真好
- Yeah. - That is so great.
-真的吗 -我上传了新的个人简介
- Is it? - I posted my new profile online,
突然间她出现了
and bam, there she was.
我是说通常
I mean, it's usually so awkward
刚开始聊天都非常尴尬
when you first start chatting with someone,
但我觉得仿佛认识她好几年了
but I-I-I feel like I've known her for years.
你会很喜欢她的福里斯特
And you would really like her, Forrest.
-她超爱游艇 -你说呢
- She's really into boats. - What do you know?
我太想和她见面了
I would love to meet her.
-我给你加点酒 -好的
- Let me freshen you up. - Okay.
-只是闲聊而已 -你得停下来
- It's just chitchat. - You gotta stop.
我得停下来
I've got to stop!
好了我要睡觉了
Okay. I'm gonna go to bed.
试着换一下白噪音机上的选项
Try some other options on the white noise machine,
因为昨晚的瀑布声从头播放时
'cause last night there was this little click
会咔嗒一下
when the waterfall sound started over again.
害我一整晚都没睡
Kept me up all night.
-火焰燃烧的声音不错 -这个太热了
- Crackling fire's nice. - It's too hot for that.
好吧
Oh, yeah.
你在看船吗
You looking at boats?
没有
No.
怎么了你想看船吗
Why? Do you want to look at boats?
不想晚安
No. Good night.
晚安
Night.
你好吗
不行
Nope.
对不起韦德
Sorry, Wade.
你在吗
那不是可能的兄弟
It's not gonna happen, buddy.
不会吧哥们
Oh, come on, man.
不要发伤心的表情
Not a sad face.
我可不是铁石心肠
I'm not made of stone.
"你好韦德"
"Hey, Wade."
为什么你笑得像个傻子一样
Why are you in here laughing like a weirdo?
没什么挺蠢的
It's nothing. It's dumb.
跟米歇尔看《情动列车》感觉怎么样啊
Hey, uh, how was Passion Train with Michelle?
很糟糕
Terrible.
米歇尔根本看不懂而且基本上
Michelle didn't get it and was basically
全程都在吼她的孩子
yelling at her kids the whole time.
孩子们对不起
Guys. I'm sorry. Oh...
好吧你在做什么
Okay, what are you doing?
你们真的想知道吗
You really want to know?
我逗福里斯特玩呢
I am messing with Forrest.
他假装是约会软件上的女人
He's pretending to be this woman
想要监视我
on this dating app to spy on me.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
你花了多长时间才发现是他
How long did it take you to figure out it's him?
两秒种他取了个名字叫索娅
Two seconds. He named her Zoya.
这是他一直让我去看的
It's this character from one of the sci-fi novels
一本科幻小说里的角色
he keeps trying to get me to read.
对对索娅·萨拉查《黑暗边界》系列的
Yeah, yeah, Zoya Salazar, from the Dark Frontier series.
宅男太好玩了
Nerd. Oh, this is so great.
他不知道我知道那是他
He has no idea I know that it's him.
你们在聊你们最害怕的事情吗
You guys were talking about your greatest fears?
他的是当众演讲和在睡梦中吃蜘蛛
His are public speaking and eating a spider in his sleep?
对聊得挺深入的
Yeah, yeah. It's gotten deep.
但要让他知道他不能一直做这种事
But he's got to learn he can't keep doing things like this.
告诉索娅你想跟她见面
Tell Zoya you want to meet her.
-不行要这样吗 -必须这样
- No. Should I? - You have to.
对呀当然了
Yes, of course.
你们太棒了
You guys are amazing.
好我们这样
Okay, here we go.
不
Oh, no.
不不不
Oh, no, no, no.
不不不
No, no, no, no...
"我不知道我觉得进展太快了"
"I don't know. This is all moving a little fast for me."
这个我来
I got this one.
"我就是快我看到自己想要的就会去争取"
"I am fast. When I see what I want, I-I go for it,
"我想要你"
and I want you."
你从哪里学来的
Wh-Where did you get that?
《情动列车》
Passion Train.
救我救我
Help. Help. Help.
索娅说 "我其实正在恋爱"
And Zoya says, "I'm actually in a relationship,
"而且我要搬走了"
"And I'm moving.
"我换了新工作所以我要搬到"
"And I got a new job, that's why I'm moving
"一个更好的工作社区去"
to a better job neighborhood."
什么
What?!
我都写了些什么呀
What am I even writing?
没事这样没事这个说法挺好的
Oh, no, this is okay. This tracks. This is good.
"那我们更要好好享受剩下的时间了"
"Then we have to make the most of the time we have.
"我不接受你的拒绝"
"I won't take no for an answer.
就约在说个酒吧的名字
Meet me at... What's the name of a bar?
卧薪尝酒吧
Oh, um, Humble Pie.
卧薪尝酒吧 20分钟后见
"...Humble Pie. See you in 20."
不行不行不行不行
Nope. Nope, nope, nope.
我不能去
Can't do it.
再见了索娅
Goodbye, Zoya.
删除账户
扮演你这个角色很愉快
It was a pleasure to be you.
用户已注销
"Profile no longer active"?
我会想她的
I'm gonna miss her.
我也是
Yeah, I am, too.
我们可以跟其他真实的女人聊天吗
Can we chat with some other real ladies?
不要了吧我们不能这么做
Uh, no, no. Let's... Don't do that.
真是这么大压力我整盒都吃完了
Yeah. Of course. I stress-ate the whole box.
你在想什么福里斯特
What were you thinking, Forrest?
你本来打算怎么收尾
What was your end game?
我没打算
I didn't have an end game.
我就是觉得我们挺有感觉的
I just felt like we had a connection.
我们在互相分享
I shared, he shared.
没错我后来没控制住走远了
And, yeah, I got carried away.
这就是为什么你这些天都这么晚才睡吗
Is that why you keep coming to bed late?
不是
No.
也许是吧
Maybe.
但现在没事了我们是和平结束
But it's okay now. I think I ended it elegantly.
-韦德 -大家伙
- Hey, Wade. - Hey, guys.
-你怎么样 -你怎么样兄弟还好吗
- How you doing? - How you doing, man? You okay?
昨晚不太好过