神兽

The Unicorn S01E02

Part 3 Nov. 22, 2019, 12:19 p.m.

Good. 'Cause you've just been served.
我们在一起两星期后
You know, we'd been together two weeks,
你还以为我的名字是妮可
and you still thought my name was Nicole.
那酒吧太吵了
It was a loud club.
你们要离婚了吗
Are you getting a divorce?
我们在进行成人之间的交流
We are having an adult conversation.
康纳爸妈离婚了他得了个平板电脑
Connor's parents got a divorce, and he got an iPad.
那对不住了我们幸福着呢
Well, sorry, we're very happy together,
所以你没有平板了
so you're getting nothing.
不好说
I don't know.
或许韦德是对的
Maybe Wade is right.
我已经不了解咱们这个社区了
I'm not in these streets like I used to be.
我倒是想帮他
And I want to help him,
但是我根本不清楚现在的规矩
but I don't even know what the rules are anymore.
你知道谁清楚吗
You know who does?
别说是我姐姐
Please don't say my sister.
梅格我只想让你跟他谈谈
Okay, Meg, I just want you to talk to him.
-别撩他也别碰他 -我不会的
- Do not hit on him. Do not touch him. - I won't.
我是认真的他现在很脆弱
I mean it, he's in a very vulnerable place.
有多脆弱
How vulnerable?
梅格我可不想让他卷入你那一团乱麻里
Meg, I do not want him mixed up in your whole mess.
-我才不是乱麻 -咖啡杯里是什么
- I am not a mess. - What's in the coffee cup?
咖啡
Coffee.
再给你一次机会
Try again.
酒
Wine.
谢谢
Thank you.
格蕾丝在哪
Where's Grace?
她坚持要留在家里
Ah, she insisted on staying home.
不知道她最近怎么了
Not sure what's going on with her lately,
还是给她留点自己的空间为好
but just trying to give her a little space.
没事不用太担心她
Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that, man.
我像她那么大的时候也是独来独往的
I was a bit of a loner myself when I was her age.
但幸好我接触了速度金属[一种音乐流派]
You know, but luckily, I found speed metal,
开始嗑药
started getting high,
然后发现了一个多姿多彩的新世界
and a whole new world of colors opened up to me.
-你说啥 -别担心韦德
- What? - Oh, but don't worry, Wade.
-她跟他可不一样 -对对完全不一样
- She's nothing like him. - Oh, no, no. Not at all.
我不是那个意思
That's not what I was saying.
你们好韦德你好
Hey, guys. Hey, Wade.
你记得我姐姐梅格吧
Uh, you remember my sister Meg.
今天比赛她也在场
She was at the game today.
记得记得梅格你好吗
Yeah, yeah, Meg. Hey, how you doing?
我很好超级好
I'm fine. So fine.
娜塔莉
Natalie,
看我表演
check me out.
这东西太辣了在十个州里都是违禁食品
These things are so hot they're illegal in ten states.
你是哭了吗
Are you crying?
没有我没事
No. I'm cool.
韦德宝贝所有约会软件我都用
Wade, honey, I'm on all the dating sites.
作为老司机我要给你一句忠告
I know what's what, okay? And I'll tell you something.
这些女人们可不是坐在电♥话♥旁
These women aren't just sitting by the phone
苦等白马王子来电♥话♥的懂吗
waiting for a Prince Charming to call. Okay?
男人就像商品一样相信我
Men are a commodity. Trust me.
我现在同时与三个男人交往
I'm dating three guys right now.
还在撩着另外一个
Bread-crumbing another.
而我在四个男人之前处的那个哥们
And this guy that I Caspered four guys ago
现在天天围着我转
is orbiting me.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
你说的什么东西是人话吗
What? Was that even English?
我的意思是别担心宝贝
What I'm saying is don't worry, baby.
你俩就约会过一次
Just because you went on a date with someone
根本不算正式在一起
does not mean you're in a relationship, okay?
看韦德你最好听梅格的话
Boom. See, Wade? You better listen to Meg.
-她可是情场老手 -好的
- She knows what she's talking about. -Yeah.
我看也就只是几次约会的关系而已
I guess it was just a couple of dates.
-几次 -是的
- A couple? - Uh, yeah.
没什么问题吧
That-that's not a problem, right?
好吧好吧那这样
Okay, okay, cool.
你在第三次约会之前跟她断了
Just as long as you cut it off before a third.
已经有过第三次了
Uh, there-there is a third.
-天啊 -她邀请我去看她朋友的表演
- Oh, boy. - Uh, she invited me to her friend's play.
-那你就答应了 -我在脸书页面上点了"感兴趣"
- And you said yes? - Well, I clicked "Interested" on Facebook,
然后她问我去不去我就答应了
and she called me out on it, so yeah.
你怎么会有这个女人的脸书好友
Why are you Facebook friends with this woman?
是她要加的
Because she asked.
-她还喜欢玩拼字游戏 -等等
- And she likes to play Boggle. - Wait,
你和她一起玩拼字游戏
you're playing Boggle with her?
抱歉我来晚了
I'm sorry, I'm too late.
-这哥们儿已经在谈恋爱了 -不是
- This man's in a relationship. - No.
我我只是想对她好点就这样
I-I was just trying to be nice. That's all.
我们是怎么跟你讲对别人好的
And what'd we tell you about trying to be nice?
好吧你说的对
Okay, you were right.
-那就和她分手 -我不能这么做
- Well, break up with her. - I can't do that.
我的天哪为什么不
Oh, for God sakes, why not?
因为这样她就是孤零零的一个人了
Because that would leave her alone.
这是你能对别人做的最糟糕的事
And that's the worst thing that you could do to somebody.
我懂迪莉娅我也经历过
I know, Delia. I've been through it.
亲爱的
Oh, honey,
你不认为在这一点上你有点大题小做了吗
don't you think you're projecting just a little bit here?
是啊这和你经历过的不一样
Yeah, this is not the same thing that happened to you.
对是可能不一样
Yeah, well, maybe it's not,
但我不能那样去伤害一个人
but I-I can't hurt someone like that.
我做不到
I just can't.
不不不韦德不玩拼字游戏了吧
No, no, no, Wade, maybe no more Boggle, though, huh?
-不是格蕾丝打来的 -她还好吗
- No, it's Grace. - Is she okay?
没事她很好
Yeah, yeah, she's fine.
我得走了她的自行车爆胎了
I gotta go. Her bike has a flat tire.
等等我以为她在家里
Wait, I thought she was at home.
是啊我也是这么想的
Yeah, so did I.
天哪
Oh, geez.
这小伙儿真可怜
Poor guy.
-对这个世界来说他太善良了 -是啊
- Aw, he's just too nice for this world. - Yeah.
要是让我来我会让他很开心的
Ooh, I would make him so happy.
你还没听懂我的话吗
Have I not been clear with you?
诺亚吃晚饭了吗
Noah, did you eat your supper?
我的肚子无缘无故地疼
My tummy hurts for no reason.
你吃了一整袋麻辣薯片吗
Did you eat this whole bag of red-hot nonsense?
和一整袋酸梅
And a whole thing of Sour Bombz.
-我吃起来一点都不酸 -天哪
- They're not even sour to me. - Oh, God.
给他喝点牛奶
Try to get some milk in him.
不管吐出来的是什么
Whichever end it comes out of,
都不美观
it is not gonna be pretty.
本
Ben?
诺亚为什么要一直那么做
Why does Noah keep doing that?
因为他想引起你的注意
Because he wants to impress you.
你是说他喜欢我吗
Are you saying Noah likes me?
他才十岁就是个孩子
He's, like, ten. Like, a young ten.
好吧他可不是这么想的
Okay, he's not even thinking on that level.
这是青春期前的求爱
This is a prepubescent courtship ritual.
-我也想这么说来着 -是啊
- I was gonna say the same thing.- Yeah.
好吧那可真是奇怪又恶心
Okay, well, that is weird and gross.
好吧我不想说实话
Well, I hate to break it to you,
但青春期后男性的发展
but the subsequent phases of male development
也没什么进步
aren't much of an improvement.
嘿迪尓丝快看我
Hey, Deels, check me out.
我吃成三个月的孕妇了
I'm having a food baby.
说不定是双胞胎
Might be twins.
你可真行
Oh, good for you.
听着在你说之前我想告诉你我戴了头盔
Look, before you say anything, I was wearing my helmet.
-记住这点很重要 -格蕾丝
- That's important to remember. - Grace...
你疯了吗