神兽

The Unicorn S01E14

Part 2 March 30, 2021, 9:28 a.m.

说曹操曹操到啊
Oh, speak of the devil.Ah!
来了啊
There he is. Yeah!Ah!
大家好哦
Hey, everybody. Mwah.Hi. Mwah-mwah.
抱歉来晚了工作上有点事
- Oh, God. Sorry I'm late-- work stuff.
怎么样了
So, how did it go?
- 你跟他说了吗 - 我说了
Did you talk to him?Yeah, I did.
我直接冲进去然后说
I just went in there, and I said,
我的工作不够有挑战我想要实现更多
"I'm not being challenged. I want to do more."
- 棒 - 厉害啊
Yes!Wow. Good for you.
就该这样
That's how you do it.
我把我关于整个部门的重建计划
I laid out my very radical plan
非常慷慨激昂的跟他讲了
for restructuring the entire department.
我不得不说啊
I got to tell you, like,
全都搞定了
I had it all figured out.
我就知道你可以的
I knew you had it in you.
真的
I really did.
然后几个小时之后呢
And, um, a couple hours later,
上来一个保安
a security guard comes up,
拿着一个纸箱子
and he has a cardboard box.
我就说干嘛用的啊
And I'm like, "What's that for?"
他就说是给你用的
And, uh, he says, "It's for you
把你桌子清空吧
to-to clean out your desk with."
不过你们知道他也很靠谱
But you know what? To his credit,
非常友好的护送我离开了公♥司♥范围
he very gently escorted me off the premises.
就是感觉
You know, but, I mean,
特别给面儿
listen, that's Alfonso for you.
真的
You know, he's just...
非常经典的一个场景
a class act to the end.
等下
Wait.
- 你被开除了 - 是的
Did you get fired?Yeah. Oh, yeah.
他们选用了一个
Yeah, they went with a, uh, less radical plan
- 没我那么激进的部门重建计划 - 我天啊佛利斯特
for restructuring the department.Forrest, oh, my God!
太好了有香槟
Oh, good, good, good, good. Champagne. Hmm.
抱歉哦
Mm. Pardon me.
没事的
Well, you'll find
你会找到其他工作的
another job.
你应该还是挺擅长你工作的吧
You're good at what you do... I assume.
我完全不担心呢一点都不
I'm not worried about that at all. No, no, no, no,
完全不担心的哦服务员
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, sir?Yes?
有没有气少一点的香槟
Do you have any champagne that's a little less bubbly?
还是白葡萄酒吧
I guess that'd be white wine.
算了
Uh, you know what?
还是威士忌吧还是算了
I'll take a Scotch. Yeah. Actually, no.
有没有蛤蜊汁你们能调那种
Do you have clam juice? Do you make those, like, Michel...?
叫什么来着墨西哥啤酒吧
What are they called? Mich-Mich-Micheladas?
不还是威士忌吧
No! Scotch.
佛利斯特
Oh, Forrest.
- 太遗憾了 - 不
I'm so sorry.No.
韦德相信我
Wade, trust me.
没人怪你的
No one blames you.
是的韦德
Yeah, Wade.
没人怪你的
Nobody blames you.
我的墨西哥啤酒呢
Hey, where's my Michelada, huh?
他怎么样了
Hey, hey, how-how is he doing?
韦德他不太好
He's not good, Wade. He's not good.
我一直跟他说不会有事的
I mean, I keep telling him that we're gonna be fine.
我们有存款啊
We have our savings.
我是儿科医生啊
I'm a pediatrician,
只要小孩继续乱吃东西
so I'm always gonna have a job
我就一直有工作啊
as long as kids keep eating things that aren't food.
不过他很以自己的工作为傲的
But he just was really proud of that job.
- 那是他的意义 - 我好内疚
You know, it really defined him.I just feel terrible.
但他一直跟我吐槽工作不然我咋说啊
But he was venting about work. What was I supposed to do?
你就要听完了点头就行啊他就需要这个
Listen and nod! Ugh! That's all he needed.
你们男的咋回事
What is it with you men?
总是想解决所有问题
You always want to fix everything.
化油器无线网
Carburetors, the Internet.
有时候大家就单纯吐槽一下好吧
Sometimes people just want to vent.
- 我要解决这件事 - 不不不
You know what? I'm gonna fix this.No! No!
- 我刚说的话你都没听进去吗 - 是的
Are you not even hearing what I'm saying? Is it just "blah"?Yes.
我要帮他找到新工作
- I just-- I want to help him get a new job.
你了解他的工作吗
What do you know about what he does?
我都不知道啊
'Cause, I mean, I barely know.
所以我从来不说他具体的工作
That's why I refer to it as "what he does."
你说的对我不知道
You're right, I don't know,
但我了解佛利斯特他那么优秀
but I do know Forrest, and he's awesome.
对于任何他所从事的行业的公♥司♥来说
And he would be an asset to any company that does...
他都是不可多得的遗珠
whatever it is that he does.
你要是能帮他看到这一点就太好了
If you can help him see that, that'd be great, because
因为他都抑郁了
he's really depressed, which means
天天要啪啪啪
he wants to have sex all the time.
为啥男人抑郁的时候都这么饥渴呢
Why are men so horny when they're depressed?
我们好像没有吧
I don't know if we are.
- 你们有的好奇怪 - 佛利斯特
Well, you are, and it's weird.Hey, Forrest.
你怎么样啊哥们
Hey, bud. How you... how you doing?
我
Uh, oh, I'm, uh...
嗯
Yeah...
- 迪莉娅 - 老公
Delia?Yes, sweetie.
你能来
Can I see you in the bedroom...
卧室一下吗
for a second?
好的
Okay.
我有事情
I have something...
- 嗯 - 要和你探讨
Yup....I'd like to talk to you about.
我懂的老公
No. I understand, honey.
他真的很抑郁
He's really depressed.
他怎么样了
How's he doing?
不知道就是
I don't know. He's just...
最近老在看云
looking at clouds a lot.Yeah.
我昨晚都睡不着
Well, I-I couldn't sleep last night, so,
一直在网上
I started looking
看看有什么工作
at some job sites on the Internet,
还真的有不错的工作呢
and there are some really good ones out there.
我试着鼓励他了
I tried to encourage him, but...
我在想啊大家可以都和他一起啊
Sure, but I was thinking, maybe we could all do it with him.
就现在
Right now.Yeah.
好的
Okay.
简历和教育经历完成
Résumé and education. Done.
你看佛利斯特已经完成一半了
All right.See, Forrest? You're already halfway there.
不错啊
Yeah.Cool.
现在需要个人信息
Now we just need some personal information.
你的优点和缺点是什么呢
What are your strengths and weaknesses?
你会讲西班牙语
Spanish. You speak Spanish.
- 我不会讲西班牙语 - 是我会
I don't speak Spanish. Ispeak Spanish.
那也可以写的吧
Well, you could still put that down, right?
写他朋友会讲西班牙语吗
That his friend speaks Spanish?
他可以教福利斯特啊
Well, he could teach Forrest some.
很好
Oh, good.
我最大的优点
Yeah, my greatest strength
是认识一个会讲西班牙语的朋友
is knowing a guy who speaks Spanish.
我不要把这个打上去
I'm not gonna type that.Okay.
假设他最大的缺点
Say that his biggest fault is
是他是完美主义者还是工作狂
that he's a perfectionist or workaholic.
工作狂对劲
Yes. Workaholic.Ooh.
是哦
: Yeah.Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
这个套路
Yeah, yeah. That old trick?
我感觉我的缺点其实也是我的优点呢
"I don't know. My fault is actually my strength."
我们人力资源的天天看到这些
Yeah. Saw a lot of that in the HR game.
这种简历直接扔到垃圾桶
Straight to the bottom of the pile.
我还是第一次知道啊
Okay. Didn't know that. Did you know that?
很宝贵的信息啊
No. No.That's new information. That's very valuable.