神兽

别动 别动
Stop. Stop it.
《神兽》
前情提要
对 没错
Yes. Yes, it is.
哥们 我觉得我可能遇到那个人了
Guys, I think I may have met someone.
天哪
Oh, God!
-我们现在怎么办 -我带它去找我的兽医
- What do we do now? - I'll take it to my vet.
去他那儿只要十分钟
He's, like, ten minutes away.
我们刚刚配合得真好
That was really nice teamwork.
谢谢你表现得这么勇敢 太傻了
Thanks for being so braveand, uh, so stupid.
是啊
Yeah.
我没有办法不想她
I can't stop thinking about her.
那她是谁呢
Well, who is she?
我不知道
I have no idea.
约翰逊湖宠物医疗护理中心
有什么能为您效劳的
May I help you?
希望有
I hope so. Uh...
你们最近有没有一个女人带着臭鼬来过
Have you recently had a woman come in with a skunk?
你丢了一只臭鼬吗
Are you missing a skunk?
不 不 不 其实不在于臭鼬
No. No, no, no, it's not-not really about the skunk.
我是在追踪这个女人
I'm-I'm trying to hunt down the woman.
不是"追踪" 寻找
N-Not "Hunt down." Find.
对 寻找
Yes. Find.
她 她很漂亮
She's, uh, she's beautiful,
我们有过一次邂逅 我疯狂地想...
and we had a moment,and I'm-I'm just desperate to...
不是"疯狂地" 是有意
Mm-mm-- Not "Desperate." Interested.
有意寻找她
Interested in finding her.
如果这看上去有点奇怪 我很抱歉
Look, I'm sorry if this seems a little weird.
-我发誓我是个超级正常的人 -韦德
- I promise I'm a super normal guy. - Hey, Wade?
-要不我来 -好吧
- If I may? - Yeah.
这其实是个迷人的故事
It's actually a charming story.
我朋友是在墓园见到这个女人的
My friend here met this woman in a cemetery
当时他在给他太太过生日
when he was celebrating his wife's birthday.
她已经去世了
I mean, she's dead.
这很明显
Obviously. I mean,
如果她还活着 他不会勾搭别的女人
he wouldn't be hitting on women if she were alive.
在墓园就更不会了
And certainly not in a cemetery.
-不过... -福里斯特
- Although, you know... - Forrest?
-到鱼缸边上坐着去 -好吧
- Go sit by the fish tank. - Yep.
所以 没有臭鼬是吗
Uh, so, no... no skunks?
没有
No.
好吧 哥们 去下一家宠物医院
Okay. Uh, guys? Onto the next vet.
这不是给人吃的
That's not for people.
完全不是
Not at all.
我很抱歉
I'm so sorry.
那是什么口味的
What flavor is that?
神兽
第二季 第一集
五家宠物医院
Five veterinarians.
五家 没有臭鼬女士
Five. No skunk lady.
好吧 我们的小伙子很执着
Well, our boy is, uh, determined.
我知道这听起来像是疯了
Look, I know it sounds crazy,
但我这么做是完全符合逻辑的
but I am being perfectly logical.
她说了要去找兽医
She said that she was going to a vet.
我又没有到牙科诊所去找臭鼬
It's not like I'm looking for a skunk in a dentist's office.
我觉得这样很贴心
Well, I think it's sweet.
就像浪漫喜剧 《臭鼬情缘》
It's like a rom-com. Must Love Skunks.
谢谢 米歇尔
Thank you, Michelle.
我觉得更像是讲跟踪狂的电影
I think it's a little more like a stalker movie.
烦人 是我妹妹
Damn it, it's just my sister.
她申请了几家大学
She's waiting to hear back
正在等消息
from a couple of the colleges she applied to.
真讨厌 福里斯特
Ugh, I hate this. Forrest!
能请你坐下来吗
Could you please sit down?
你这样让我很紧张
You are making me anxious.
对不起 不能 我现在习惯站着了
Sorry. Can't. Standing's my thing now.
在我公♥司♥ 新公♥司♥ 大家都用站立工作台
At my job, my new job, we all have standing desks.
超酷的
It's so cool.
-是的 -我精神百倍 你们看我
- Yeah. - I feel like a million bucks. I mean, look at me.
你只是站着而已
You're just standing.
不 看我的姿势 看我的体态
No, look at my posture. Look at my alignment.
说真的 我觉得我长高了 看
Honestly, I think I'm getting taller. Look.
我觉得很荒谬
I think it's ridiculous.
好吧
Uh, yeah, uh...
好吧
Okay.
来吧
There you go.
你说得对 我很喜欢
You're right. I love it.
我可以去打耳洞吗
Can I get my ears pierced?
不行
Uh, no.
好吧 我重新组织一下语言
Okay. Let me rephrase this.
我要去打耳洞
I'm getting my ears pierced.
我也重新组织一下语言 不行 女士
Oh, well, uh, let me rephrase: no, ma'am.
爸 行行好 我都要上七年级了
Dad, come on. I'm going into seventh grade.
我不能再戴着耳夹到处跑了
I can't walk around with those clip-ons anymore.
我看起来就像个小宝宝
I look like a baby.
抱歉 但你妈妈让格蕾丝等到13岁才打的
Well, I'm sorry, but your mom made Grace wait till she was 13.
我就是13岁
I am 13.
如果你四舍五入的话
If you round up.
好吧 好吧
Okay. All right.
如果你这么成熟 那我们做个交易
If you're so mature, let's make a deal.
你想去打耳洞 就给后院的篱笆重新刷漆
You want your ears pierced, restain the backyard fence.
我♥干♥不了 我才12岁
I can't do that. I'm only 12.
我跟你说 这样过了一个星期
I'm telling you, after a week of this,
我的屁♥股♥都硬得像石头了
my butt is as hard as rock.
我相信
I believe you.
我觉得 我觉得你没信
I don't, I don't think you do.
我觉得... 我来向你展示一下
I don't think, uh-- I'm gonna come show you.
你要感受一下
You got to feel this.
-来 使劲拍一下 -不了
- Come on, give it a thwack. - Nah.
我的天哪
Oh, my God.
是桑德森州立发来的电邮 我不敢看
It's an e-mail from Sanderson State. I can't look.
你看 如果是坏消息 别告诉我
Look, don't tell me if it's bad news.
告诉我 我能承受
Uh, tell me. I can take it.
录取了
Accepted.
真有你的
Good for you.
宝贝 你现在是三发三中了
Wow, baby. You three for three so far.
-厉害 -桑德森是很好的学校
- Nice. - Sanderson's a really good school.
而且他们的篮球队上赛季差点赢了联赛
And their basketball team almost won the conference last season.
够了 我去上大学
Okay, I'm not going to college
可不是为了让你能参加篮球比赛
so that you can go to basketball games.
我只是让你体验完整的大学经历罢了
Hey, I just want you to have the whole college experience.
完了 安德鲁走了
Well, that's it. Andrew's gone.
他要和家人去缅因州六个星期
Gone with his family to Maine for the next six weeks.
亲爱的 我为你感到遗憾
Oh, honey, I'm-I'm sorry.
但是 六个星期也不是很久
But hey, six weeks isn't that long.
非常久 老爸
It's forever, dad.
我们的恋情才刚刚开始 就已经逝去
Our relationship had just started, and now it's dead.
我懂 孩子
I get it, kiddo.
我知道的 这让人难过
I know. It's tough. It's tough.
你知道什么能让她感受好点吗
You know what'd make her feel better?
让我打耳洞
Me getting my ears pierced.
给篱笆重新上色
Restain the fence.
我甚至不知道什么是"上色"
I don't even know what "Stain" Is.
谁要吃薯片和萨尔萨辣酱
Who ordered chips and salsa?
韦德 很抱歉你的寻找一无所获
Oh, Wade, I'm sorry your search didn't turn out.
我知道 你认为她就是你的真命天女
I-I know that you think she's the one.
尽管你才跟她相处了2分钟
Even though you only spent two minutes with her.
我跟你说 迪莉娅
I'm telling you, Delia,
如果你见到她救那只可怜的臭鼬的样子了的话
if you would've seen her saving that poor skunk...
真是太了不起了
It was amazing.
她是那么的心地善良
Ugh, she has such a big heart.
那双锐利的蓝色眼睛
And these piercing blue eyes.
她所有的特质 都让我像触电了一样