神兽

The Unicorn S01E01

Part 2 Nov. 22, 2019, 12:19 p.m.

好恶心
Yuck.
大家为我们准备的这些食物
All that food that people made for us,
多得好像永远也吃不完
it seemed like it would last forever.
但现在竟然已经吃完了
But it's gone.
感觉就像吉尔也真的离开我们了
It feels like... like Jill is really gone.
我知道这是一个沉重的打击
I know this is a gut punch, buddy,
但或许也是让你好好生活的指示
but maybe this is a sign to get on with your life.
福里斯特说得没错
Forrest is right.
当时吉尔生病的时候你...
You know, when... when Jill got sick, you...
你把她和孩子们照顾得很好
took care of her and the girls.
你处理得很好但是
And you were such a rock star, but...
你得走出家门重新开始约会
You need to get your butt out of this house and start dating.
我马上就要说到这了
No, I'm getting to that.
我只是想说得艺术一点
I was just trying to be a little more artful about it.
约会拜托大家了我不能约会
Dating? I mean, come on, guys. I can't date.
我现在手上的事情太多
With everything that I have going on?
韦德亲爱的
Wade, sweetheart,
你根本就无事可做
you have nothing going on.
一点也没有
Mm-mm, nothing at all. Zero.
你超级有时间韦德
You're fully available, Wade.
老爸我和安德鲁可以花5块95
Hey, Dad, can Andrew and I spend $5.95
买♥♥个堡垒之夜的新皮肤吗
to buy a new Fortnite skin?
格蕾丝你知道这样是不对的
Oh, Grace, come on. You know better than that.
你应该多花两块钱买♥♥点更实用的东西
Just spend the extra two bucks and get something practical,
比如石盾药水或者蹦床陷阱之类的
like the shield potion or the-the bouncer trap.
谢了福先生
Thanks, Mr. F.
我的天哪这不是你应该知道的东西
Oh, my God, you should not know that!
都是些什么玩意儿
What even is all that crap?
石盾药水是什么鬼
What the hell is a skin potion?
好吧你们说得对
Okay, okay, okay, you're right.
你们说得没错但是约会
You're right, but dating?
我要怎么跟姑娘们说呢
I mean, what am I gonna tell the girls?
-不要说 -什么
- Don't. - What?
我不能骗我的孩子
I can't lie to my kids.
我对我家孩子的唯一方式就是说谎
That's all I do is lie to my kids.
给他们做司机和撒谎就这两件事
Drive them places and lie.
我从来没有瞒过他们什么事
Oh, I've never kept anything from them.
-之后也不想 -我不想挑刺
- I-I can't start now. - I hate to be nitpicky here,
但那次你没关猫门
but there was that time you left the cat door open,
涂涂跑出去被狼吃了
and Doodles got out and got eaten by a coyote,
你可没告诉她们
and you didn't tell them.Mm, mm.
真不敢相信你居然现在提这事
I can't believe you just went there.
这就是撒谎
It's a lie.
姑娘们
Girls...
我们得聊聊
we need to talk about something.
怎么了
What's wrong?
别担心不是什么坏事
Don't worry, it's, uh, it's-it's not a bad thing.
我们要再养一只猫了吗
Are we getting another cat?!
-不是 -我的天哪
- No. - Oh, my God!
是涂涂回来了吗
Did Doodles come back?
不是
No.
听着是这样
Look, um, here's the thing.
有人提议说或许
some people have brought up the idea
我该开始约会了
that maybe I should start dating.
你要找人代替妈妈
You're gonna replace Mom?
不不妈妈是不可替代的
Nat, no. No, no. I could never replace Mom.
你们知道我有多喜欢我们在一起生活
Look, you know how much I love hanging out with you guys,
但成年人也需要时间和别的成年人相处
but adults also need to spend time with other adults.
我的天哪是性方面的
Oh, my God. It's a sex thing.
我要吐了我要吐了
I'm gonna throw up. I'm-I'm gonna throw up!
-不你不会 -要和我打赌吗
- No, you're not. - You want to bet me?
娜塔莉请别这样
Natalie, please stop doing that.
那就别替代妈妈
Then don't replace Mom!
娜塔莉别难为爸爸了行吗
Natalie, will you give Dad a break?
他一直以来就只是照顾我们
All he ever does is take care of us.
他该有自己的生活
He deserves to have a life.
谢谢你格蕾丝
Thank you, Grace.
知道我们之间可以永远
It's important for me to know
坦诚相待对我而言很重要
that I can always be honest with you guys.
当然可以无论什么事情
Well, you can. About anything.
说到开诚布公涂涂回不来了
Look, since we're being honest, Doodles isn't coming back.
他被狼吃了
He was eaten by a coyote.
什么你怎么不早跟我们说
What?! How could you not tell us that?!
搞什么我以为可以和你们说实话
What? I thought I could be honest with you guys?
那也不用这样说
You could've said it better!
-姓名简单 -对
- Uh, name. Easy. - Yeah.
好的
Yes.
韦德·费尔顿
你做到了很好
You did it. Good.
身高填一米八
For height, just put six even.
我没那么高
Uh, that's not how tall I am.
所以呢谁在意谁会知道
So? Who cares? Who's gonna know?
如果见面我可能会需要站起来
If I meet her, I might stand up.
你能让一边吗他根本就不会
Can you move? He's doing it wrong.
在床上最爱做的事情
Favorite thing to do in bed.
-抱抱 -没错
- Cuddle. - Yeah.
实话实话我其实喜欢的是
Well, uh, if I'm being honest, I really like...
-抱抱 -抱抱
- Cuddle. - Cuddle.
好吧抱抱
Okay. Cuddle.
在床上最爱做的事
瞳色
瞳色
eye color.
我看看绿色的
Let me see. Green.
不是绿色榛子色
No, green. Hazel.
啥榛子色到底是个什么色
What? What kind of color is hazel anyway?
类似于泛棕的绿色对吧
It's like a brownish-green, right?
Siri 榛子的图片
Hey, Siri, show me a hazelnut.
你说啥呢明明就是绿色咱们投票
What are you talking about? It's green. Let's vote.
不我眼睛的颜色才不要投票决定
No. No, we're not gonna vote on what color my eyes are.No.
我眼睛是棕色的
I have brown eyes.
瞳孔颜色
感情状况
感情状况丧偶
Relationship status. Widowed.
准备好开启一段全新的旅程了吗
"准备好开启一段全新的旅程了吗"
"Are you ready to begin your journey?"
-没问题的兄弟 -是啊
- It's okay, buddy. - Yes.
-对我可以做到的 -你可以的
- Yeah, I can do it. - Yeah.
我可以的是时候了
I can do it. It's time.
但这真是一大步朋友们
But it's-it's a really big step, guys.
我意思是你们知道吧
I mean... Yeah.
情书(网站名)
你做到了
You did it. Yay!
不他没有是你帮他做的
No, he didn't. You did it for him.
我用的他的手指也算
I used his finger. It's fine.
很激动是不是
This is exciting, right?
-是啊 -是的
- Yeah. - Yes.
超激动的
Exciting.
好了我得走了我有病人等着
All right, I got to go. I got patients.
我们得讨论一下放学接孩子的事
We got to talk about after-school pickups.
韦德别忘了你要接艾迪
Wade, don't forget you're getting Addie
-然后送她去足球训练 -该死
- and taking her to soccer practice after school. - Oh, shoot.
我忘了我三点得带格蕾丝去看牙医
I forgot, I got to take Grace to the orthodontist at 3:00.
那好吧不过本应该可以
Well, you know what? Maybe Ben could take
接所有孩子去足球训练
everybody to soccer practice.
对我可以把他们送去但我不能留那
Yeah, I can take them, too, but I can't stay.
好的没问题就这样了
Okay, good. Sounds like a plan.
-好的 -等等
- Okay. - Wait.
就这样了
Does it?
等一下
Wait.
我的个人介绍收到回复了
My profile is getting responses.
-真的吗 -我看看好像有六条
- What? - Ah, there's, like, six of them.
詹妮弗
七条
Seven.
-八条了 -不是吧
- Eight. - Shut up.