神兽

The Unicorn S01E12

Part 2 Feb. 29, 2020, 10:40 a.m.

I mean, not too quick. You know...
我是一位女士
I'm a lady.
我明白你们说的很有道理
I hear you. And it makes perfect sense.
但我不是那种"简单来一发"的人
I'm just not really the "Bang one out" kind of guy.
幸好我有很多工作要做
Luckily for me, I've got a lot of work to do.
我的脑力都花在思考那些问题上了
That's where I get my best thinking done.
对韦德因为女人想找的就是这样的人
Yeah. Because that's what women are really looking for, Wade.
思考者
A thinker.
你得让她卧床休养
You've got to make her stay in bed.
如果她要去洗手间你得背她去
If she has to go to the bathroom, you should take her.
我自己能去洗手间谢谢
I can make it to the bathroom myself, thanks.
食物呢软的吗
What about foods? Soft stuff?
其实应该是高纤维低脂肪的
Actually, high fiber, low fat.
太浓稠的食物也没有好处
Density is not gonna be your friend.
我去拿个椅垫
I'd get a stool softener.
我的椅子没事
Okay, my stool is good.
再次谢谢你了
And again, thank you so much.
回家后代我向福里斯特问好
And tell Forrest hi when you get home now.
不要让她抬任何重物
Do not let her do any heavy lifting.
事实上本什么都别让她抬
In fact, you know what, Ben? No lifting at all.
我是鬼吗你们听不见我说话吗
Am I a ghost? Do people not hear me?
-亲爱的我们当然听见了 -对
- Of course we hear you, honey. - Yeah.
-你放轻松一点 -放轻松
- You just got to take it easy. - Take it easy?
我有四个孩子我有衣服要洗有床要铺
I've got four kids. I've got laundry to do, beds to make,
有辫子要编有饭要做
hair to braid, meals to cook.
光是大声骂人都停不下来
And yelling alone is a full-time job.
星期一要拍照
And Monday is picture day
萨海所有好看的衣服
and Sahai has outgrown
都穿不下了
all her nice clothes.
米歇尔米歇尔你要放轻松
Okay. Michelle, Michelle, you have got to relax.
本和我会把一切都打点好的
Ben and I are gonna take care of everything.
我来照看♥房♥♥子
I'm gonna look after the house,
-喂饱孩子 -你会失败的
- I'm gonna feed the kids. - You will fail.
你吃了药所以我当作没听到
You're on drugs, so I'm just gonna shrug that off.
本你负责衣服和头发
Ben, you're gonna take care of clothes and hair.
好的我明天带萨海去狄乐百货
Got it. I'll take Sahai to Dillard's in the morning.
狄乐百货我们很有钱吗
Dillard's? Are we rich?
怎么你要让管家开车送你去狄乐百货吗
What? Are you gonna have your butler drive you to Dillard's?
亲爱的那你想让我去哪里
Honey, where would you like me to go?
去我们多年来一直去的地方
The same place we've been going for years.
好的
Right.
明日青年
The Young Tomorrow
-折扣店 -折扣店我知道
- outlet store. - Outlet store! I knew that.
本上网查一下优♥惠♥码
Uh, Ben, check the website for discount codes.
还有北面商店后面有免费停车位
And there's free parking in the lot behind the North Face store!
迪克体育商店有一美元的热狗
And Dick's Sporting Goods has one dollar hot dogs!
喊得很疼对吧
Hurts to yell, doesn't it?
没有
No.
-我能再吃一片药吗 -不能
- Can I have another pill? - No.
米歇尔没事我很高兴那太吓人了
I'm glad everything is okay with Michelle. That was really scary.
当然了你怎么样呢
Yeah, sure was. Hey, what about you?
-你没事吧 -会没事的
- You okay? - I will be.
我那一帮人今天不在
My crew is off today,
所以我有一整天可以
so I get the whole day to myself to just dig holes
分♥析♥和思考
and figure stuff out.
是的我们真不一样
Yeah, we're different, you and I.
是的
Yeah.
感谢你带早餐过来
Hey, thanks for bringing over breakfast.
-不用谢 -我今天要很忙
- Of course. - I got a big day ahead of me.
我得带萨海买♥♥东西
I got to take Sahai shopping,
这样我就不得不带上所有的孩子
which means I got to take all the kids with me. Ooh!
本既然你已经准备要去
Ben, you know, since you're going already,
把艾迪也带上如何
would you mind taking Addie with you?
我想我或许可以挤时间打个盹
I was thinking about maybe trying to squeeze in a nap,
去趟折扣店洗个芬兰浴
go down to The Y, have a shvitz.
福里斯特我已经带了四个娃
Forrest, I'm already taking four kids.
你想让我带五个
You want to make it five
所以你可以去干啥来着
so that you can go have a... have a what?
芬兰浴老兄汗蒸
A shvitz, dude. A steam bath.
你知道我去年鼻窦有问题
You know I had that sinus thing last year.
我其实今天也需要买♥♥衣服拍照
Oh, man, I actually need clothes for picture day, too.
格蕾丝应该有旧衣服你可以穿
Well, I'm sure Grace has some old stuff you could wear.
他不是这个意思娜塔莉
He did not mean that, Natalie.
-啥 -本可以带你们去不是吗
- Wha... - Hey. Ben can take you guys. Right?
你可以带她们去你已经带五个了
You can take them. You're already taking five.
-多带两个也没事 -七个
- What's two more? - Seven!
不如你带女孩子们去商场
How about you take the girls to the mall,
我和待在家照顾最小的孩子还有我老婆
and I stay home with the little ones and take care of my wife
和她的手术切口
with the fresh surgical incision?
你真要拿这个当挡箭牌
W-- You're playing that card?
-是的 -行好极了
- Yes. - Wow. All right, great.
我要和四个青春期少女去商场
So I'm going to the mall with four tween girls, huh?
这不是我擅长的
It's not in my comfort zone.
是的这将会很有趣
Yeah. This is gonna be so interesting.
我不想和最小的待一起
I don't want to stay with the little kids.
那你可以去商场你自己选择
Well, then you can go to the mall. Those are your options.
我们去商场的时候可以去刀剑商店吗
Can we at least go to the mall with the sword store?
跟你说过很多次你在做梦
I keep telling you, you dreamt that.
这个梦好真实
It seemed so real.
我可以和韦德一起种树吗
Can I go to work with Wade?
我觉得你不会想这样的宝贝
I don't think you would enjoy that, kiddo.
但你做的就是玩土
But all you do is play in the dirt.
我有植物学学位
Well, I have a degree in botany
我还花了几年学设计
and I spent years studying design.
但是你说得对
But, yeah, basically.
*上穿下穿*
*Over, under*
*拉回来*
*Back again*
*左股右股相交叉*
*Left strand, right strand, bring it in.*
就这样太好了
That's it. Let's go.
*上穿下穿拉回来*
*Over, under, back again*
*左股右股*
*Left strand, right strand...*
你的辫子完全没成型
And your hair's totally not braided.
我已经洗完了三篓衣服
Okay, um, I just finished my third load of laundry.
我甚至还没洗完一半你这怎么样了
And I'm not even halfway done. How's it going in here?
糟糕很糟糕我敌不过这头发
Bad. Really bad. I'm no match for this hair.
一股头发太小了
The strands are just so tiny,
我的手指跟大香肠一样
and my fingers are like big sausages.
亚莉克莎打给米歇尔
Alexa, call Michelle.
正在打给米歇尔
Calling Michelle's mobile.
-谁啊 -嗨米歇尔
- Hello? - Hey, Michelle!
一切都好吗
Is everything okay?
很好特别好
Oh, it's so good. So great.
-那你为什么打电♥话♥ -没有理由
- Then why did you call? - No reason.
亚莉克莎挂电♥话♥
Alexa, hang up.
你听我讲你仔细听我讲
You listen to me and you listen good.
那个女人肚子的伤口刚缝完线
That woman has a belly full of stitches,
她需要躺床上休息
and she needs to stay in bed and to rest.
所以你要男人起来扎好这个小女孩的辫子
So you need to man up and braid this little girl's hair.
-好的女士 -我要再洗一篓衣服
- Yes, ma'am. - Okay, I'm gonna go do a load of laundry
然后去杂货店
and then I got to get to the grocery store.
我试着让凯专心创造艺术
Oh, and I'm trying to get Kai to focus on his art project,
但是这不可能
but that's impossible.
你没有让他跟画具独处吧
You didn't leave him alone with the art supplies, did you?
会很糟糕吗
Is that bad?
可能会
Could be.
是米歇尔
It's Michelle.
宝贝
Hey, baby.
迪莉娅刚挂我电♥话♥了吗
Did Delia just hang up on me?
-出事了吗 -没有都好着呢
- Is something wrong? - No! Everything is cool.
非常好好到跳舞好到起飞
Real cool. We're shaking it-- we're Fonzie.
所有事都在跳舞一切都很好