生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S03E18
Part 1
Oct. 4, 2019, 1:44 p.m.
生活大爆♥炸♥
第三季第十八集
Okay in Avatar when they have sex in Pandora
《阿凡达》的人物在潘多拉性♥交♥时
they hook up their ponytails, so we know their ponytails
会连接双方的马尾辫 可以推测
are like their junk.
马尾辫类似于他们的生殖器
Yeah... so?
那又怎样
So, when they ride horses and fly on the birds,
他们骑马或骑鸟的时候
they also use their ponytails.
也会用到马尾辫
What's your point?
你到底想说什么
My point is, if I were a horse or a bird,
也就是说 如果我是马或者鸟
I'd be very nervous around James Cameron.
我在詹姆斯·卡梅隆身边会相当紧张
It amazes me how you constantly obsess over fictional details
你对虚构情节如此着迷 实在让我费解
when there are more important things in the real world to worry about.
现实世界中还有很多 重要的事等着你呢
For example, why wasn't William Shatner in the new Star Trek movie?
比如 威廉·夏特纳怎么没出演 新的《星际迷航》电影
Hey, Sheldon. I was up in the administration office,
谢尔顿 我刚走过行政办公室时
and I happened to overhear the name of the winner
无意中听到了 今年大学科学奖
of this year's Chancellor's Award for Science.
得奖人的名字
And you want to rub my nose in the fact
你又想趁机打击我
that my contributions are being overlooked again?
我的成就又被无视了吧
I am the William Shatner of theoretical physics.
我就是理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳
All right, I'll play.
好吧 我配合你
What self-important, preening fraud are they honoring this year?
他们今年选了哪个 自以为是 狂妄自大的骗子
Oh, I'm so glad you asked it like that. You.
我真高兴你这么问 那个人就是你
- I won? - You won.
-我得奖了 -你得奖了
I won!
我得奖啦
This is astonishing.
太让我感到意外了
Not that I won the award-- no one deserves it more.
不是意外得了奖 没人比我更有资格
Actually, I guess I misspoke. It's not astonishing; more like inevitable.
其实 我说错了 根本不意外 得奖是意料中的事
I'm not sure what to do first. Maybe I should call my mother.
我不知道该先做什么 要不先通知我妈
Wait! I know-- I'm going to conduct an interview with myself and post it online.
我知道啦 做个自访 然后放到网上去
Well, good for him.
真替他高兴
Yeah, the one thing the William Shatner
对 理论物理界的威廉·夏特纳
of theoretical physics needed was an ego boost.
最需要的就是自我膨胀
Didn't it look like that spear was going to go right through your skull?
那支长矛逼真得 就像要直接穿过咱的头啊
No.
才怪
Hey, you didn't want a Slurpee at 7-Eleven, you don't get glasses.
你不买♥♥7-11的Slurpee[饮料名] 就没眼镜戴
Oh, that will be another congratulatory call for me.
肯定又是打给我道贺的
Uh, mute, please.
请静音
Wait, wait. Hang on-- flaming arrow.
等等 火焰箭呢
Hello?
喂
Oh, Chancellor Morton, how are you, sir?
莫顿校长 你好
Yes, I was expecting your call. Three years ago.
对 我在等你的电♥话♥ 三年前就开始了
I see.
我明白
Wait. What happens if I choose not to give a speech?
等等 如果我不想做演讲呢
Uh-huh.
嗯
And if I don't want to forfeit the award?
如果我不想放弃奖项呢
Well, you've got that tied up in a neat little bow.
好 您现在是箭在弦上 不得不发
All right.
好吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Problem.
有状况
What?
咋了
They expect me to give a speech at the banquet.
他们要我在宴会上做演讲
I can't give a speech.
我不会做演讲
Well, no, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time.
不 你弄错了 你一直都滔滔不绝
What you can't do is shut up.
你是不会闭嘴
Yeah, before the movie,
看电影前
you did 20 minutes on why guacamole turns brown.
你说了20分钟为啥鳄梨酱变棕色了
It turned brown while you were talking.
你说话的时候 它就变棕色了
I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups.
我在小群体面前能自如讲话
I cannot speak to large crowds.
但没法在大群体面前演讲
What, to you, is a large crowd?
你的大群体怎么定义
Any group big enough to trample me to death.
大到能把我踩死的那种
General rule of thumb is 36 adults or 70 children.
按经验估计是36个成人或70个儿童
Sheldon, congratulations.
谢尔顿 恭喜恭喜
Brought you a cheesecake from work.
从店里给你带了芝士蛋糕
You know, 'cause of your award,
这是给你庆祝得奖的
not because a busboy sneezed on it.
不是因为小工对着它打了喷嚏
- I'm not accepting the award. - Why not?
-我不接受奖项了 -为什么
Turns out the great Sheldon Cooper has stage fright.
因为伟大的谢尔顿居然会怯场
That's no reason to back out.
那也没有理由退出啊
You know, I once got a pretty big honor in high school,
我以前在高中时 得了个很大的奖
and I was terrified about appearing in front of a big crowd,
而我很怕面对一大群人
but I went through with it, and you know what?
但我挺过来了 知道吗
The world looked pretty darn good
作为玉米皇后团的成员之一
sitting on a haystack in the back of a Ford F-150
坐在福特F150后面放的干草堆上
as a member of the Corn Queen's court.
那是相当的风光啊
Thank you.
谢谢
Yeah, I'll bear that in mind
我会牢记在心的
if I'm ever nominated for the Hillbilly Peace Prize.
如果我被提名乡巴佬和平奖的话
Sheldon, you're being ridiculous.
谢尔顿 你小题大做了
Am I?
是吗
Let me tell you a story.
我给你们讲个故事
Where's 70 children when you need them?
咱现在就需要70个儿童
I was 14 and graduating summa cum laude from college.
我14岁时以Summa cum laude的成绩从大学毕业
"Summa cum laude" is Latin for "with highest honors."
Summa cum laude在拉丁语里是指最高荣誉
I just love how you always skip over the part where no one asks.
你要是能跳过 没人问的东西就好了
I was valedictorian and expected to give an address.
我要在毕业典礼上做致词
Even now, I can remember that moment
我到现在还记得当时
when I walked up to the podium and looked out at the crowd.
我走上讲台 看着人群
There must have been thousands of people.
台下数以千计的人
My heart started pounding in my chest.
我的心开始剧烈跳动
I began to hyperventilate.
然后开始大口呼气
My vision became blurry, and before I knew it...
视力渐渐模糊 还没来得及...
Oh, dear.
晕啊
Oh, my God.
老天
Sheldon?
谢尔顿
Sheldon, are you okay?
谢尔顿 你没事吧
Don't trample me.
表踩我啊
Come on, Mother.
拜托 妈妈
You know why I can't accept the award.
你知道我为啥不接受奖项
With all due respect, I don't think praying will help.
恕我直言 我不觉得祈祷会有用
No, I have not heard the song, "Jesus, Take the Wheel."
没 我没听过那首 "主啊 请掌控这命运之轮"
No, no... You don't need to start singing it.
不用不用 你不需要唱给我听
Yes, I'll buy it on the iTunes, Mother.
好 我会在iTunes上下载的 妈妈
Good-bye, Mother.
再见 妈妈
Hello.
各位好
Sit down. We want to talk to you.
坐啊 我们想和你谈谈
Am I in trouble?
我是有麻烦了吗
Did my mother call you?
我妈妈给你们打电♥话♥了
Just sit.
坐就是了
We think we can help you with your stage fright.
我们能帮你克服怯场的问题
Oh, I doubt that.
我深表怀疑
I haven't figured out a way, and I'm much smarter than all of you.
我比你们智商都高 我都没想出办法呢
Yes, but you're not smarter than all of us put together.
是的 可我们几个的智商加起来肯定比你高
Oh, I'm sorry. That is what I meant.
不好意思 还是我高
Okay. Your problem is, you're trying to do this all by yourself.
好吧 你的问题是 你想孤军奋战
We can help you. We can be your team.
我们可以帮你 当你的队友
Like, uh, Professor Xavier and his X-Men.
就像 X教授和X战警
I do like the X-Men.
我确实挺喜欢《X战警》
Did I see X-Men?
我看过《X战警》吗
Yeah, we watched it last week. You said you liked it.
看过啊 我们上周才看的 你还说你喜欢呢
Oh. I say a lot of things, sweetie.
亲爱的 说话又不用付钱
So, how about it, Sheldon?
怎么样啊 谢尔顿
I don't know.
不好说
If you're my X-Men, what are your powers?
如果你们是X战警 那你们的超能力是什么
Okay. Well, I am going to take you shopping, get you a nice suit.
这个 我会带你去购物 帮你选一套超赞的西装
Might give you more confidence.
能让你更自信
That's not exactly a mutation that would get you
确切来说这不叫变异 光凭这点你不可能
into Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters,
进到X教授专为天赋异禀的年轻人开设的学校
but go on.
不过继续
Leonard?
莱纳德
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