生活大爆炸

The Big Bang Theory S03E17

Part 3 Oct. 4, 2019, 1:43 p.m.

And it wasn't when we were driving like this?
刚我们这样开车的时候你咋不说
I would advise the three of you
我好心建议你们三个放弃吧
that resistance is futile.
再怎么死撑也是徒劳
I have endless patience.
我的耐性可是出了名的好
I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold
我曾和惠普的客服人员
with Hewlett-Packard customer service
耗了整整两个半小时
just to complain about their customer service.
就为投诉他们客服态度差劲
You want to talk about endless patience?
你少和我吹嘘耐性
Penny made me watch all five seasons
佩妮逼我看完了整整
of Sex and the City.
五季的《欲望都市》
There are six seasons, dude.
老兄那玩意有六季
Oh, crap!
噢杯具
No, no, no, the sixth season is great.
别这么说嘛第六季很赞啊
We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken,
凯莉刚分手伤心地去了巴黎
and then Mr. Big shows up,
而大人物又突然出现
we don't know if we can trust him again.
我们都很好奇她是否还能再相信他
It's a wild ride.
真是跨越地球的爱恋啊
Door.
我要开门
Okay, everybody, and plie?
同志们屈膝[法语芭蕾舞动作]
And releve?
再踮立[法语芭蕾舞动作]
Whatcha doin'?
你们干什么呢
Last one holding the ring decides its fate.
谁坚持到最后魔戒归谁
I know, it sounds silly.
我知道这很蠢
No, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend.
才不会呢你是我男友啊
Nothing you do is silly to me.
情人眼里出西施嘛
Thank you.
多谢
FYI-- this is a bag from Victoria's Secret.
顺便说下这可是维多利亚的秘密内衣
I'm out.
老子不干了
I'm sorry, Ma,
抱歉老妈
I have to stay late at the office.
没办法我要在办公室加班
No, he's doesn't! He's lying to you!
才没有他在骗你
Will you be quiet?
你就不能消停点吗
Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring.
要隐私的话放开手就行了啊
I'm so glad
真开心
we came to this gentile strip club!
终于能来这家异教♥徒♥的脱衣舞俱乐部
Howard,
霍华德
here's more bacon to tuck into the shiksa's G-string!
再给你个培根塞她们丁字裤里去
I'll call you back.
我再打给你
I think it's lovely you call your mommy
你实在太贴心了还特地打电♥话♥
and let her know you're going to be late for dinner.
告诉你妈你赶不回去吃晚饭
From what I know about these things,
据我所知
if a woman doesn't breast-feed on time,
没能按时喂奶的女人
it's very uncomfortable for her boobies.
咪♥咪♥会很不舒服的
Don't you talk about my mother's boobies!
别跟我谈我妈的咪♥咪♥
If you're offended, let go of the ring
听着不爽的话放手啊
and go on home to your mother's boobies.
赶紧回家找你妈吃奶去
Excellent, excellent.
太好了太好了
Tire each other out, the ring will be mine.
你们俩耗吧我就能笑到最后
Howard, why don't you go after Raj's mother?
霍华德何不谈谈拉杰他妈
Why don't we go after your mother?
不然咱谈谈你妈
Go ahead.
尽管谈
I have no illusions about my mother.
我又没有恋母情结
She is a kind, loving,
她就一个和蔼可亲
religiously fanatical right-wing Texan
笃信上帝极端右翼的德州人
with a slightly out-of-scale head
头长得有点不合比例
and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.
还对佩珀汽水有点上瘾
Anything you'd like to add?
还有什么要补充的吗
That's not gonna get you anywhere.
这样说根本没用
Better pull out the big gun.
得给他来点狠的
You're right.
说得对
Let's talk about your grandmother.
咱来谈谈你祖母
No!
不要
I call no Meemaws.
不许说我奶奶
Think about this.
想想看
The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex.
你奶奶肯定得跟人上♥床♥ 才会有你妈
I don't want to hear this.
我不想听这些
Then let go of the ring and walk away.
那就放手走一边去
Never.
想都别想
All right.
好吧
I'll bet your Meemaw
我敢说你奶奶
didn't just have sex to have your mother.
不仅仅是为了传宗接代才跟人上♥床♥的
I bet she had sex because she liked it.
我敢说她肯定也享受性♥爱♥
Stop it!
别说了
Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.
对奶奶也并不圣洁
I said stop it!
我叫你们闭嘴
We're getting to him.
说到他痛处了
Waterfalls!
瀑布
What?
什么
Waterfalls.
瀑布
Crashing waves.
惊涛拍岸
Babbling brooks.
潺潺溪流
What are you doing?
你这是干嘛
Subliminal messaging.
潜意识信息
I'm going to make you want to pee.
通过这让你们产生尿意
Dripping faucets.
滴水的水龙头
Leaky gutter.
漏水的水槽
Peeing.
尿尿
It's, it's not working, dude.
这招根本不管用伙计
Oh-ho-ho, it's working all right.
已经管用了
I have to pee.
我想上厕所
Then let go of the ring and go.
那就放开魔戒去啊
No, actually, I wouldn't mind going, too.
其实我也想上了
Fine.
好吧
Um, on the count of three.
数到三
One, two...
一二
Wait, just to clarify.
等等先说清楚
When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?
数到三是都站起来还是直接尿尿
We stand up.
都站起来
Excellent choice.
明智之选
Three.
三
Something tells me
我有预感
this was a bad day to wear suede shoes.
今天真不该穿绒面革皮鞋的
I've done it!
我做到了
I've won!
我赢了
The ring is mine!
魔戒是我的了
It's mine!
是我的了
We're going to clean it up and make it pretty.
得彻底清洗下让它更漂亮
My own.
是我的
My love.
我亲爱的
（谢尔顿华丽变身《魔戒》中的咕噜[Gollum]）
My precious.
我的宝贝
Where's the ring?
魔戒呢
It's in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.
在联邦快递的盒子里回它原来的地方去了
（索伦在末日山的火焰中铸造了至尊魔戒）
The fires of Mount Doom?
末日山的火焰之中
Peter Jackson's office in New Zealand.
彼得·杰克逊(《魔戒》导演)在新西兰的办公室
It wasn't ours.
本就不是我们的
You quit the game!
你早就退出了比赛
You had no right to take it.
根本没资格拿走魔戒
I came in here, you guys were all sleeping.
我走进来的时候你们都睡着了
The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.
魔戒掉在地板上没人拿着
Well, so then we start the game over until there's a winner.
那就该重新开始直到产生最后的赢家
There wasn't ever going to be a winner.
根本不会有什么赢家
There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring
只会有一个手握魔戒的自私鬼
and three people who used to be his friend.
和三个反♥目♥的好友
Is that really what you guys want?
你们真想这样吗
'Cause if it is, fine.
真想的话随便吧
I don't want anything to do with you.
我跟你们也没什么好说的了
And I don't know what happened in that bathroom,
还有厕所里怎么回事我不知道
but I am not cleaning it up!
但我才不会去清理
My precious.
我的宝贝